Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Killer Wench

abouttobebanned wrote: »

There's a couple on "my Facebook" that talk to each other though their Facebook statutes.

"had a great weekend darling, I love you so much."

"food luck tomorrow babe xxxx "

You live in the same fcukong house...what are you doing????"

Next time, screenshot their statuses and send it to:

www.stfucouples.com

El Weirdo

When FB started getting really popular and all the txtspking morons migrated from Bebo I changed my name and put my profile on the highest privacy settings possible. I then went on a friend purge. I don't use a photo as my profile picture and I have (to some degree of success) managed to avoid much of the twattery.

If someone I don't wish to overtly offend requests me as a friend, I add them and immediately remove them from my news feed and then after a couple of weeks block them from receiving any updates from me. I then remove them completely in one of my regular purges.

Noo

Have to agree with everything thats been said here...

lovey dovey couples XXXXX
in the 2 years or so i've been on fb i dont think ive ever left a comment on my OHs page, and we dont even live together, why the hell do people who live together do it aaahhh idiots. Oh and i really hate it when they leave messages like "I love you babe xxx" and then people comment " awh" or "so cute", theyve been together 6 years why the f**k are you encouraging this behaviour!

People who complain, ugh such a bad day today, ive sooo much work to do, college is sooo stressful...then get the hell off facebook and do your work, stop complaining.

I never reply to peoples idiotic status like this, they wreck my head!

Now it someone says "I got run over by a steamroller today" and goes on to post some pics of their crushed limbs then by all means i'll comment...because thats f**king interesting!

Rant over. That felt goooooooood.

m@cc@

El Weirdo wrote: »

When FB started getting really popular and all the txtspking morons migrated from Bebo I changed my name and put my profile on the highest privacy settings possible. I then went on a friend purge. I don't use a photo as my profile picture and I have (to some degree of success) managed to avoid much of the twattery.

If someone I don't wish to overtly offend requests me as a friend, I add them and immediately remove them from my news feed and then after a couple of weeks block them from receiving any updates from me. I then remove them completely in one of my regular purges.

You really are overthinking FB, dude.

BrianJD

I have a "friend" who every week says " yeh it's brilliant " or something along those lines. She's unemployed...

El Weirdo

m@cc@ wrote: »

You really are overthinking FB, dude.

If I didn't, I'd be on this thread complaining about dumbass statements that my "friends" are making.;)

blow69

One of my "friends" posted recently: So sorry I haven't uploaded my latest shots yet(He takes 'loike omg totally obscure photos of random things like'). I know I am behind in uploading them, I'm just mad busy at the moment.

Acting as if he needs to update his 'fans'. It's not a blog and you aren't providing an essential service to the public. You're just deluded.


Also, what the hell is this 'checking in' about? Say for example a person who lived on their own checked into Tesco(:rolleyes:) Do they not realize that that information is widely available on the internet and they just provided the perfect opportunity to break into their house?


Idiots.

JerryHandbag

"Only 4 more sleeps til <insert appropriate event here>"

El Weirdo

JerryHandbag wrote: »

"Only 4 more sleeps til <insert appropriate event here>"

Do you have many 5 year old friends? Are you Gary Glitter?

Wolflikeme

blow69 wrote: »

One of my "friends" posted recently: So sorry I haven't uploaded my latest shots yet(He takes 'loike omg totally obscure photos of random things like'). I know I am behind in uploading them, I'm just mad busy at the moment.

Acting as if he needs to update his 'fans'. It's not a blog and you aren't providing an essential service to the public. You're just deluded.

Delete this enormous fcuking twat, but not before you ridicule him!

Aishae

Also, what the hell is this 'checking in' about? Say for example a person who lived on their own checked into Tesco() Do they not realize that that information is widely available on the internet and they just provided the perfect opportunity to break into their house?

i suppose tesco is cheaper therapy than cedars sinai (sorry couldnt resist :pac:)

i hate this... i bawled out a cousin over it cos hed been in my house then when i log in later that night i noticed his 'check in' had our address - even the street just not the number - and somehow seemed to include 'X is at flipping X with Y and Z' and a link to our pages too. its just asking for stalkers. even if no one would care to stalk you

Mr Keek

Muppets who think they are FaceBook DJ's, and do nothing post YouTube video's of their fav bands.

I don't give a F_ck how great The Smith were, I just don't like em, and I've no intention of changing my mind, now please stop wasting band width.

Killer Wench

Facebook is like boards.ie. Everyone is just trying to be liked.

El Weirdo

Mr Keek wrote: »

Muppets who think they are FaceBook DJ's, and do nothing post YouTube video's of their fav bands.

I don't give a F_ck how great The Smith were, I just don't like em, and I've no intention of changing my mind, now please stop wasting band width.

Just delete me then!

gabria

Or the dreaded tedious countdown
Day 1: 10......
Day 2: 9......
Day 3: 8......

and so fcuking on until holidays. Well zippity effity doo da

tan11ie

"Happy birthday John Joe hope you have a lovely day, love you loads xxx"

Like fecking John Joe dosen't even have a facebook account he's only five FFS!!!!!!

Paddy_Smith

The facebook status thing is dumb in it's self. Facebook should get rid of it to be honest.

JerryHandbag

El Weirdo wrote: »

Do you have many 5 year old friends? Are you Gary Glitter?

No, just a couple who act like 5 year olds. Discovered the hide function thankfully.

Wolflikeme

tan11ie wrote: »

"Happy birthday John Joe hope you have a lovely day, love you loads xxx"

Like fecking John Joe dosen't even have a facebook account he's only five FFS!!!!!!

Or people wishing others a 'happy birthday' because FB reminded them...actually no, TOLD THEM it was their birthday. I'm sorry, but if you don't know it's their birthday then save the bullsh!t 'happy birthday' wishes. It's so false and without any feeling.

I never wish anyone a happy birthday via FB. I'll take the time to call and/or text them and if you can't do that to the people on FB then you shouldn't be 'friends' with them in the first place.

Also your post reminded me of this: http://www.lamebook.com/unborn-updates/

SarahBeep!

please copy and paste this as ur status if you know someone or have heard of someone who has lost a calf. every year thousands of preventable calving deaths occur each year due to damaged calving jacks. i know 100% of you will not put this as your status, but if the rest of you's do we can help prevent these needless tragedies xxx


All this....from a city girl

Yakult

"Facebook is shit"

Ironic

abouttobebanned

There's a particular idiot on my Facebook (will be blocked tomorrow) and she likes to tell us everything. She also likes to tell us how brilliant her boyfriend is (he's cheated on her by the way...oh how I've been tempted to drop that nugget on one of her..oh johnny is so fantastic..he's made the dinner...how lucky am I girls??)

Well now she's pregnant and we're gonna have to see when the baby is ad big as a grape, when she's tired, moody...scan pictures...seriously..is nothing private anymore?

NotExactly

xoxyx wrote: »

Now, come on. Is there any reason why you're publishing your conversations as opposed to sending a text, making a call
!

They have no credit?:rolleyes:

landsleaving

Killer Wench wrote: »

Facebook is like boards.ie. Everyone is just trying to be liked.

No it's totally different.

Here it's called thanks.

Sparks43

AhSureTisGrand wrote: »

Dragons have a bad enough rep as it is...

"PLEASE put this on your status if you know someone or
are related to someone who has been eaten by dragons.
Dragons are nearly unstoppable, and in case you didn't
know, they can breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy
and paste this, because they have already been eaten by
dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower, armed
with fire extinguishers. The remaining 1% are awesome,
and will re-post this."

Swiped and posted up on Facebook

Thank you

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Dudess

Not dumb so much as random and funny: "Ah Liverpool are good like, fuck sake".

Maybe it was meant as a chat reply and he typed it into the wrong place?

Captain Chaos

NotExactly wrote: »

They have no credit?:rolleyes:

Free web text. raise eyes no.

WorzelDeath

A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend and started seeing another girl straight away, this other girl then posts shes in a relationship with my friend two weeks later and his ex gives it a "like this" thumbs up.Class!!

Where To

;0 :P ;p



grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

G_R

Rite time ta pass out for about 6 hours r so b4 I have ta go again:( absolutely bollixed:((

No one cares


What i really hate is the ones who write like this:

I h8 tA tInK dAh AnY1 cUd Be SuCh A sAdDo... SoMe PrIcKs In DiS tOwN XoXoXoX
or something to that effect

God I hate you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much

ShagNastii

A girl I used to go to work with makes reading my news feed like an episode of the Jeremy Kyle.

She has two kids from two one night stands. The girl is an idiot and lads she has procreated with seem like even bigger baffons.

Almost twice weekly we get the likes of

"For people too afraid to ask I know who the kids daddys are!"

"I trusted you you said we would be together forever."

"It only takes a dick to be a daddy but It takes more than that to be a father."

Etc. Etc.

I'd love to comment just the once that she is a totally thoughtless tramp for using no protection and getting involved with two going nowhere "head da balls". But you'd look like a total p*ick. It's a bit unfortunate for the kids, the whole situation.

Hank_Jones

Jesus, I wish facebook would ever fcuk off.

Goes double for those constantly referring to it.

landsleaving

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Jesus, I wish facebook would ever fcuk off.

Goes double for those constantly referring to it.

Totally posting that as my status, like.

Yakult

Hank_Jones wrote: »

Jesus, I wish facebook would ever fcuk off.

Goes double for those constantly referring to it.

I see what you did there.

ShagNastii

WorzelDeath wrote: »

A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend and started seeing another girl straight away, this other girl then posts shes in a relationship with my friend two weeks later and his ex gives it a "like this" thumbs up.Class!!

This girl is legit cool. I would smash her.

landsleaving

ShagNastii wrote: »

This girl is legit cool. I would smash her.

You'd certainly be living up to your username.

G_R

WorzelDeath wrote: »

A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend and started seeing another girl straight away, this other girl then posts shes in a relationship with my friend two weeks later and his ex gives it a "like this" thumbs up.Class!!

Mate of mine (lets call him Bill) broke up with his girlfriend Lets call her Mary), so accordingly changed his relationship status to Single. Her page then changed as well. It read:

Mary is now single.

Bill likes this

I found that quite funny

watna

I've culled three people from my FB

1) A girl I went to school with but haven't seen since then who broke up with her bf and spent weeks posting about how much pain she was in and would it ever end. It was horrific.

2) A girl who moved from where I am to somewhere else in the country and whose status was, almost every day about how the weather was awesome where she was and crap everywhere else. I culled her but she still comments on facebook statuses of mutual friends about the weather all the time. When i see someone posting complaining about the **** weather I know without looking that she'll have got right in with a response

3) My OH's ex step-sister. She's studying beauty therapy but put on her facebook taht she was studting to become a doctor of holistic medicine. All her posts were about how much medical stuff she was studying and she has a friend whose just become a doctor and kept telling him she knows how hard it is because of her year long course.

They all had to go. Also, my cousin is in her teens so a lot of her posts are pretty mind melting as well. I just stopped her updates being seen.

The Shtig

watna wrote: »

When i see someone posting complaining about the **** weather I know without looking that she'll have got right in with a response

Is her name Jean Byrne by any chance? :P

eternal

I cant think of any status that annoy me.I think you are all taking it too seriously.

watna

The Shtig wrote: »

Is her name Jean Byrne by any chance? :P

It is not - but nice to know there's a few of these people floating around.

Shoelaces

Women with young children...

The incessant hourly updates, The endless pictures, the quotes of their "hilarious" infant ramblings, their daily activities, their diet, their style...

A mother i know that has two children is guilty of all above, here is a collection from today starting with the earliest...
Harvs has had 2 bowls of cheerios and now nicking dads!

Chilling after he was just sick over us both

Please someone take my miserable son away from me and bring him back when he's happy! Can't cope with this constant whinging argh!!!

I just wana sit down and do nothing. Is it bedtime yet?

Harvs top is getting too short in the arms gutted cus I love it. He's stopped with the whinging woo. Now he's eating cheerios again! 4th bowl today lol. He can have some spaghetti in a bit and then bath, teeth, milk and bed yippee done nothing today but such a hard day

Gona get Harvey this wicked toy I seen in asda tomorrow don't know what it's called but it's so cool. Thing is I'm gona have to fill my car up with petrol to go so gona cost £65 before I even get there

Well if u of listened to me then u wouldn't of broke ur phone! Kids!!!

(My personal favorite):
To stressed to speak argh!!!

Oh what a fab ****ing end to the night! Laptop charger was sparking!!! Just stopped all electric to it and binned the charger so now I got no charger for the laptop. Woo let's celebrate NOT!!! Fml!!!

Im no expert on t' puters but id say she ran out of battery as her insights cease. It got a little bit Louise Woodward there near the start but im sure there will be nothing on the news tomorrow.. yep, pretty sure there will be nothing on the news.

Rabies

I won a free ipad2 by clicking this link. You can too.

Don't worry, don't just target stupid people and spam everyone's walls.

tightropetom

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36f225c63d/annoying-facebook-notifications

This vid from Kenny from Galway should probably sum up how you all feel

Aoifey!

tightropetom wrote: »

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36f225c63d/annoying-facebook-notifications

This vid from Kenny from Galway should probably sum up how you all feel

The voices just annoyed the crap outta me.

spinandscribble

you know those really patronising statuses that go
"most of you will not care/be brave/be kind enough to do this but if you are and wanna support bunnys aids, autism, the fight against cancer ect please change this to your status update"

I mean seriously.... if I actually care about something i'd actually do something not just repost nonsense so I can feel falsely superior for a moment.

sdanseo

Anything with txtspk. Seriously, if you're that lazy that you aren't arsed typing a few short words then you don't deserve to be allowed access to the internet.

(as an aside: I can understand it with SMS years ago but nowadays texts are cheap or free and phones dont limit you to 160 characters, they just send it as two texts.)

Aoifey!

sdonn wrote: »

Anything with txtspk. Seriously, if you're that lazy that you aren't arsed typing a few short words then you don't deserve to be allowed access to the internet.

(as an aside: I can understand it with SMS years ago but nowadays texts are cheap or free and phones dont limit you to 160 characters, they just send it as two texts.)

The only time txtspk is okay is if you're out of the country and paying a lot for texts.

My sister's 14 and Every Thing On Her Facebook is txtspk and starts with a capital letter. Her friends are even worse for it.

take everything

neveah wrote: »

Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don't know anyone, or even if you've heard of anyone who doesn't know anyone, then do still copy this. It's important to spread the message even if no one knows anything about anyone. Oh, and the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ For Christ's sake, don't forget the fe****g hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥

The only really good reason i can think of to have a FB account is to post pisstakes like this.

jumpin jaysus

abouttobebanned wrote: »

There's a couple on "my Facebook" that talk to each other though their Facebook statutes.

"had a great weekend darling, I love you so much."

"food luck tomorrow babe xxxx "

You live in the same fcukong house...what are you doing????"

maybe its josef fritzl