Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

XxMCRxBabyxX

One of my fb friends just posted 17 statuses in the last 24 hours. All pointless. I'm thinking that a defriending is in order...

Aoifey!

Friendships are special... So lets start a friendship ring... If you are my friend click the like button and then re-post... If I don't see your name, I'll understand xxx

Yes, because anyone who doesn't repost that crap isn't your friend.

HandsomeDivil

Oh my word....

Kimberley L: Is it true that a pregnant fish is called a twat
Michael W: A pregnant gullible fish is called a gullible twat.
Kimberley L: Learnt something new there then thanks

leggo

languagenerd wrote: »

tough__cookie wrote: »

Also I hate people checking in that they are IN BED or AT HOME or TESCOS

Worse is when they check in to "Bed" or "Going asleep now" and then add their boyfriend's name after! "XXXXX is IN BED with XXXXXX : )"

Do your 300+ friends and family really need to know that?!!

Completely agree. Though, to be fair, when you see the kind of people who do this it is newsworthy that they've found someone who will breed with them.

Worse was a lad I know who gives occasional play-by-plays of nights out while he's on the pull...including checking into the taxi with 'a hot blonde' or whatever. Then talking about how sore/tired he is later. But then it's funny the nights he checks in somewhere and his lack of commentary implies that he doesn't pull.

Azureus

Hate the check-ins at home or in bed. Who do you think cares??

Also, the lovey dovey statuses-implies to me something is a bit ropey in the relationship if you have to do a play by play on facebook. 'xxxxx<3baby'. Bleuuuugh.

A colleague had a full on domestic on hers the other day, was amazing to read-literally went into having daddy issues and everything. Then an hour later the boyfriend deleted all his side so it just looked like she was having an arguement with herself.

booboo88

Im Sorry Im Not Perfect Im Sorry My Hair Does'nt Stay Daa Sme All Da Im Sorry Im Not A Barbie Doll Im Sorry I Dont Have Loneg Blonde Hair I Think You Should Buy A Barbie Daat Haas All Daaa ♥

no facebook gettin very boring these days gettin sick of it at this stage

no facebook gettin very boring these days gettin sick of it at this stage

she does try bless her....



what annoys me more are the morons who put pics up and comment how crap they look.

booboo88

podgemonster wrote: »

I have a relation who recently needed medical and facebook attention....

Poster "N hospial again, dis s boll0x"

Friend 1 "Ru alrit budz"

Friend 2 "Ya alrit man"

Friend 3 "Hey ******, wats wrong wit u??"

Poster "Yea il be grand boiz cheerz"

Girlfriend "OMG BABE???? WHATS WRNG!!!!!!!!

Poster "It K, il rng u l8r!

Girlfriend "So brav babi, luvs you xoxoxoxoxoxox"

Poster "I no,luv too xXXxXXx"

He had an ingrown fúcking toenail!!!!!

Ah for ****s sake. He should try what I had to go in, what a pleb

Cee-Jay-Cee

A friend of mine posted recently

"Poor granny a year dead already hard to believe!! Not be long till mass now!!"

Words fail me.

TanG411

"Irelands last attempt to keep people from emigrating to Australia : showing Australia's deadliest animals on rte!"

That was the best Facebook joke I've seen. . Over 50 likes.

dan1895

Friendships are special... So lets start a friendship ring... If you are my friend click the like button and then re-post... If I don't see your name, I'll understand xxx

Aoifey! wrote: »

Yes, because anyone who doesn't repost that crap isn't your friend.

A friendship ring? Sounds like a circle jerk to me.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

"You're JUST a mum? Yes, I am a Mum! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just with my first job... BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you but I am everything to someone! Re-Post if your a PROUD MUM! "


Oh shut up. I didn't criticize your no doubt valiant efforts as a mother, so don't piss me off with stupid statuses.

GreenWolfe

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

"You're JUST a mum? Yes, I am a Mum! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just with my first job... BEING A MUM!! I may not be anything to you but I am everything to someone! Re-Post if your a PROUD MUM! "


Oh shut up. I didn't criticize your no doubt valiant efforts as a mother, so don't piss me off with stupid statuses.

I saw something similar -

"Mother
[muth-er noun]
1. One person who does the work of twenty. For free.

(See also: 'masochist', 'loony', 'saint')
"

Not my emphasis, that was the picture.

s14driftking

Hello Friends ♥ IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR ALL !!!!!!!!!!!! Watch out for your wall! Tell a friend! Hackers are now on Facebook and on the walls of your friends, they write insults under your name and you do not know about it!!.You will not see it, but your friends see that your name is written below the written insults. If you get something from me that is offensive, know that it was not me! Copy to your wall ~ re-posted off a friends wall xxxx

XxMCRxBabyxX

s14driftking wrote: »

Hello Friends ♥ IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR ALL !!!!!!!!!!!! Watch out for your wall! Tell a friend! Hackers are now on Facebook and on the walls of your friends, they write insults under your name and you do not know about it!!.You will not see it, but your friends see that your name is written below the written insults. If you get something from me that is offensive, know that it was not me! Copy to your wall ~ re-posted off a friends wall xxxx

What a perfect cover...

languagenerd

s14driftking wrote: »

Hello Friends ♥ IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR ALL !!!!!!!!!!!! Watch out for your wall! Tell a friend! Hackers are now on Facebook and on the walls of your friends, they write insults under your name and you do not know about it!!.You will not see it, but your friends see that your name is written below the written insults. If you get something from me that is offensive, know that it was not me! Copy to your wall ~ re-posted off a friends wall xxxx

That just sounds like someone who really wants to post insults on their friends' walls and pretend it wasn't them!

"You're a b*tch and really ugly and I hate your laugh and, jaysus, would you ever buy some deodorant?!"
"Sorry, hun, that wasn't me, bloody hackers!" :pac:

blatantrereg

"Tired but can't sleep...mind feels racey tonight!"

by a girl. Classy. The male equivalent would be "Tired but can't sleep...I have such a boner!"

The "sweet dreams" type responses (by multiple guys of course) are marginally more retarded again, in fairness.

blatantrereg

I'll balance that with a good one: "If the TSA thinks your bottle of water might be explosives, then why do they just throw them all carelessly into a big bin together as the passengers file past? Is it some kind of explosive-neutralizing magic bin liner?"

AnonoBoy

blatantrereg wrote: »

"Tired but can't sleep...mind feels racey tonight!"

by a girl. Classy. The male equivalent would be "Tired but can't sleep...I have such a boner!"

More than likely it's a post by a girl who tried to say 'my mind is racing' but is too stupid to know the difference.

blatantrereg

AnonoBoy wrote: »

More than likely it's a post by a girl who tried to say 'my mind is racing' but is too stupid to know the difference.

Accident on purpose is my reading. Dual interpretations is intentional. Know her well enough to know she carries on like that a lot really!

leggo

blatantrereg wrote: »

"Tired but can't sleep...mind feels racey tonight!"

by a girl. Classy. The male equivalent would be "Tired but can't sleep...I have such a boner!"

The "sweet dreams" type responses (by multiple guys of course) are marginally more retarded again, in fairness.

I wonder if the 'be a creep to a girl you've never met in public' strategy has ever worked for one bloke, ever.

A long time bugbear of mine is 'Like' pages trying to get some popularity by posting stuff to my wall. Stuff like 'How excited two bus drivers get when they pass each other on the road' posting "Hey guys! If you like this page you're gonna LOVE 'LOL @ Turbans!'l

Ugh. You're not famous now, you're not someone's who's observations we want shoved down our throats constantly. You're some guy who made a reasonably funny remark one time. Everyone who laughed isn't all of a sudden your 'fan'. Get over it.

Immaculate Pasta

A great one popped up today

R.I.P (Your Name)........................If You Would Attend The Funeral Like This Status, If You Would Cry Or Miss Me Comment A Heart, If You Read This And Thought I Actually Died Put. Frownie Face Repost This And See How Many People Would Care

:rolleyes:

CMpunked

Seen this earlier on.. Gah.

blatantrereg

CMpunked wrote: »

Seen this earlier on.. Gah.

It's a warning against phishing for people who dont really know what phishing is - by someone who doesnt really know what it is.

The advice is kinda good tbh. It is a bit retarded alright - but as soon as you start trying to explain what is actually happening, technophobia will kick in for a lot of people, and they'll close their ears kinda. Actually better off just saying "do not press! Press - bad!" really.

CMpunked

blatantrereg wrote: »

It's a warning against phishing for people who dont really know what phishing is - by someone who doesnt really know what it is.

The advice is kinda good tbh. It is a bit retarded alright - but as soon as you start trying to explain what is actually happening, technophobia will kick in for a lot of people, and they'll close their ears kinda. Actually better off just saying "do not press! Press - bad!" really.

Woops, posted the wrong one.
The one i did have (and will now find again) was one that was similar to "Remember, Facebook has hackers, if you cant see this post, you have more than likely been hacked. Change your password"

admiralofthefleet

a bloke i know just posted this:

'just finished cleaning the kitchen'

tool

later12

EarthlyPangaea wrote: »

He seems to know absolutely nothing about Thatcher beyond the usual (understandable) blind hatred towards her. He thinks "The Iron Lady" and "Downfall" are 'the exact same film' because they're about 'bad' people.

One of them was responsible for the mass murder of Jews, romani, homosexuals, disabled, Ethnic Poles, Soviet POWs, etcetera. I'm not sure breaking the power of the trade unions, waging the Falklands war and privatising industry etc is a valid comparison somehow.

Some other guy chimed in about the highlight of the film "is that she dies at the end...ONE HUNDRED TIMES:)". Despite the fact that she isn't dead. And his blind idiocy shows he has the intelligence of a teaspoon.

And then the original guy suggests "we must devote all of our time to creating a film that consists of margaret tatcher [sic] getting killed over and over again". To me, that sounds like a really crude propaganda piece that could be used by a repressive government. Sounds ironically Hitlerian.

Never mind the fact that we may be feeling the ultimate effects of Thatcher's de-regulation of the UK financial services sector. Not in any way relevant, no?

Why are you even friends with these people?

No offence but talking about them in this way, you sound like a horrible, horrible friend

anndub

"HIT LIKE!!!! IF YOU ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM..... THEN PUT THIS AS YOUR STATUS TO SEE WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS ARE................."

469 friends and only 7 likes. Harsh

Sindri

I just joined Facebook and this was one of my statuses.


What's on your mind? A hat.

Martyn1989

Sindri wrote: »

I just joined Facebook and this was one of my statuses.


What's on your mind? A hat.

hilarious! can I add you? :P

Sindri

Martyn1989 wrote: »

hilarious! can I add you? :P

Yeah defo.

newbee22

Someone on my friends list is constantly checking in 'At bed xxxxxxxxxxxxx' and tags her boyfriend too :eek:

later12

newbee22 wrote: »

Someone on my friends list is constantly checking in 'At bed xxxxxxxxxxxxx' and tags her boyfriend too :eek:

If that doesn't merit a Pics or GTFO response I dunno what does.

Captain_Generic

later10 wrote: »

If that doesn't merit a Pics or GTFO response I dunno what does.

A kitten fighting an otter?

missbelle

newbee22 wrote: »

Someone on my friends list is constantly checking in 'At bed xxxxxxxxxxxxx' and tags her boyfriend too :eek:

obviously not much happening in the bed if she's on Facebook

later12

Captain_Generic wrote: »

A kitten fighting an otter?

Why would anyone fight a kitty?

That doesn't call for pics. That calls for otters to take a good hard look at their rude boi behaviour, maybe some anger management.

circos

seen this recently (not on my Facebook).

you'd think they'd of invented an easier way...

http://i.imgur.com/kLf1p.jpg

Captain_Generic

later10 wrote: »

Why would anyone fight a kitty?

That doesn't call for pics. That calls for otters to take a good hard look at their rude boi behaviour, maybe some anger management.

The kitten was the instigator due to deep-seated self esteem issues

GreenWolfe

later10 wrote: »

Why are you even friends with these people?

No offence but talking about them in this way, you sound like a horrible, horrible friend

Facebook friend, yes. Barely acquaintances IRL. Hid the guy from my news feed after that anyways.

mfceiling

This child will get an operation for free if they get 100,000 shares.....no it won't...fcuk off and die

Sindri

mfceiling wrote: »

This child will get an operation for free if they get 100,000 shares.....no it won't...fcuk off and die

Marry me?

marcbrophy

circos wrote: »

seen this recently (not on my Facebook).

you'd think they'd of invented an easier way...

http://i.imgur.com/kLf1p.jpg

Sweet Jesus!! :pac:

Paddy Cow

circos wrote: »

seen this recently (not on my Facebook).

you'd think they'd of invented an easier way...

http://i.imgur.com/kLf1p.jpg

Could they not have just phoned each other? :rolleyes:

keith16

mfceiling wrote: »

This child will get an operation for free if they get 100,000 shares.....no it won't...fcuk off and die

What is it with all these statuses and "hackers will burn down your wall and punch your profile picture if u don't like this"?

It's like I've got my yahoo email account back!!

mfceiling

Sindri wrote: »

Marry me?

Taken:o

Girl from home who posts a minimum 10 times a day

One example - it's time this princess went to bed to dream of her prince charming






She's single and 35......

Voodoomelon

face1990 wrote: »

Another from that couple I posted earlier:
You know when you're out with a couple who are getting a bit too intimate and making everyone else a bit uncomfortable? In this case 'everyone else' is the entirety of their friends and family.
http://i39.tinypic.com/1445lon.jpg

Never stop posting this gold.

Mars Bar

Oh oh.
Some old-ish guy on my facebook is after liking a french porn video.

Martyn1989

I don't even know what to say about this.

"It saddens me and makes me sick when I see someone on my friend's list playing COD games all the ****ing time!!! My nephews don't play anything but those games all the time and when they're near a computer they look at videos of people playing said game. They haven't even completed the campaigns, just multiplayer multiplayer multiplayer!!!. They're failing exams in school, never read books and have no interest in anything but that poxy game!! To anyone that addicted to the Call of Duty games, GET SOME SENSE AND PLAY A BETTER ****ING GAME, THEY RELEASE THE SAME ****E EVERY YEAR!!!"

Professey Chin

Martyn1989 wrote: »

I don't even know what to say about this.

"It saddens me and makes me sick when I see someone on my friend's list playing COD games all the ****ing time!!! My nephews don't play anything but those games all the time and when they're near a computer they look at videos of people playing said game. They haven't even completed the campaigns, just multiplayer multiplayer multiplayer!!!. They're failing exams in school, never read books and have no interest in anything but that poxy game!! To anyone that addicted to the Call of Duty games, GET SOME SENSE AND PLAY A BETTER ****ING GAME, THEY RELEASE THE SAME ****E EVERY YEAR!!!"

I call it a valid point. Call of Duty is sh!t

Martyn1989

The Great Chinholio wrote: »

I call it a valid point. Call of Duty is sh!t

I don't play games, I thought he was saddened and sickened by todays youth not getting out and interacting as much as they used to, but no, hes just pissed off they dont play skyrim

IvyTheTerrible

A contact of mine posted a spoof status about the government selling Longford to pay of the National Debt. One of his contacts then got all indignant (thinking it was real) and saying that that is what is wrong with Irish people, we just sit back and let things happen.... :rolleyes: