Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

How so Joe

"Some senile geriatric just crashed into the back of me car!! Passenger X took a few CD's to the face. Cant even claim as I've no tax NCT or full licence! May go drinkin to calm the nerves."

What are you even doing on the road, like??? W.T.F.

jimmi10

Some wreck the head status updates I've come across

hmm salt and chilli crispy shreaded chicken with extra chillis and peppers , boiled rice , chips curry sauce and a cold pepsi max :-) #chilla

OMG my beds freezing this morning just lit candles trying to heat my room... cause i cant work my heating #duvet,blankys,and a big baggy tracksuit ( birr

i just ate a FULL pack of cookies... damn

HAaaaaa some things never change lolol

' now you dont like hoping from bed to bed anymore' #lovefortunetellers #whoooers.

DyldeBrill

The Scaldiest status I've ever read

"Does anyone have a lend of €25 till thursday"

ehhh NO!

Thwip!

Not one decent person on this to talk too!!

And people LIKED it

Screw you lap top why must you freeze!!!!!

wrote...from a laptop

Oh no poor Cristiano sprained he's shoulder and I can't help but feel partly responsible for it as 5 minutes earlier I commented on how he's never injured I feel terrible now sorry Mr Ronaldo

miralize

People who change their names to Bobby Sands with a history lesson in the bio and a picture of the late Mr Sands as their profile picture. What are you trying to do????

kunst nugget

miralize wrote: »

People who change their names to Bobby Sands with a history lesson in the bio and a picture of the late Mr Sands as their profile picture. What are you trying to do????

Giving you a helping hand when it comes to deciding who to cull from your list of friends?

u_c_thesecond

Mortified to say this is from my 19 year old nieces facebook.. only a few hours ago...(ive copied and pasted it hence the mis spelling). Its about x factor btw

"OMFG like lads i am way not imprezzd wit dis shoooitteee.. how th hellah diz them MELANYYY nt get througheh when that jookkeee chirstioopher with his fake nearvs did?????AND LADS WHOOO GIVES A CRAP THAT HEZ WARIN A PINK RIBBN- THAT KIDS DEAD LIKE GET OVA IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

the dead kid shes refering to is april jones... i deleted her at once! And i plan on having a severe word with her when shes sobered up!!!

RidleyRider

The single most terrible and most annoying status is simply... 'Like for an (un)honest opinion'

The replies to this make me vomit...

Wompa1

Steve Marquis wrote: »

The single most terrible and most annoying status is simply... 'Like for an (un)honest opinion'

The replies to this make me vomit...

Or how about Hungover in...

Dying today with...

I don't want to hear it in person let alone read it online

humbert

Downton Abbey updates...

Barry Barry

I'm choking laughing at this

'The amount of sluts on Halloween is gonna be quality, im free all this week if any large units wanna hand in cv's to me, ill slaughter anything for a buzz'

Barry Barry

....

miralize

Got my first annoyed.com, aww.... *unfriend*

BUBBLE WRAP

miralize wrote: »

Got my first annoyed.com, aww.... *unfriend*

My fist what!? :eek:

miralize

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

My fist what!? :eek:

annoyed.com, when people use fictional websites as adjectives to describe their current state of emotion

BUBBLE WRAP

miralize wrote: »

annoyed.com, when people use fictional websites as adjectives to describe their current state of emotion

Oh, I see.

PrettyBoy

Christ almighy...I don't know these people but I'm genuinely sorry to say we have a couple of mutual friends

gnfnrhead

PrettyBoy wrote: »

Christ almighy...I don't know these people but I'm genuinely sorry to say we have a couple of mutual friends

Facebook really need to set something up for when people sign up. Ideally something to figure out if they have ever heard of grammar before! That was painfully hard to read and unfortunately, I have friends who type the same way.

KERSPLAT!

PrettyBoy wrote: »

Christ almighy...I don't know these people but I'm genuinely sorry to say we have a couple of mutual friends

Tough to read but I genuinely laughed when I read "the get ou off the gaff"

Pair of neanderthals were probably sitting beside each other!!

ArtyC

Sweet Jesus that hurt my eyes!!

Big Nasty

'Fuk off asnd leave me alone'

'Then get outta the gaff'

Brilliant!

PizzamanIRL

"thoughts of signing on KILL ME NOW plz!!!"

So, you're dreading getting off your arse, leaving your house for 5 minutes to sign your name and get €188 each week for nothing. Oh, ok.

chopperbyrne

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

"thoughts of signing on KILL ME NOW plz!!!"

So, you're dreading getting off your arse, leaving your house for 5 minutes to sign your name and get €188 each week for nothing. Oh, ok.

Or maybe that person lost their job or are only working partial hours and have held off on signing on to see if they could secure more work and now are understandably upset about the whole situation.

chopperbyrne

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Or maybe that person lost their job or are only working partial hours and have held off on signing on to see if they could secure more work and now are understandably upset about the whole situation.

From my experience that has been the case in 0% of similar statuses I've seen.

BUBBLE WRAP

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Or maybe that person lost their job or are only working partial hours and have held off on signing on to see if they could secure more work and now are understandably upset about the whole situation.

I have no sympathy for anyone that spells, "please" like "plz". :pac:

FutureGuy

PizzamanIRL

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Or maybe that person lost their job or are only working partial hours and have held off on signing on to see if they could secure more work and now are understandably upset about the whole situation.

I know this person, he's the complete opposite of that.

Barry Barry

Oh sweet Jesus,

with my boyfriend now all together 5 months ahhhh:-)

and somebody comments,

i thought you two broke up last month??

and the reply,

That was a month ago haha

What. The. Actual. ****?

Stupid kid.

HandsomeDivil

Person 1: The lenght of Tulisa's earlobes! :O :L
2 people like this
Person 2: whats an earlobe?

Carson10

somebody shut up all the annoying 'dicks' on face-book today.

"stay safe stateside people"...

Carson10

somebody shut up all the annoying 'dicks' on face-book today.

"stay safe stateside people"...

wnolan1992

Carson10 wrote: »

somebody shut up all the annoying 'dicks' on face-book today.

"stay safe stateside people"...

Eh... perhaps they know people affected by Sandy?

Carson10

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Eh... perhaps they know people affected by Sandy?

Nah they dont. There just posting it up cos everyone else is. Its the trend of the day..!

miralize

Carson10 wrote: »

Nah they dont. There just posting it up cos everyone else is. Its the trend of the day..!

Thats impossible to know. Even so, theres no harm wishing randomers who are facing a natural disaster stay safe - it means that you're not dead inside after all..

saiint

"with my boyfriend 3 years 9 months and 2 weeks today"
replie " aww that is so cute *insert name here* "
about 15 likes from friends and family

that was my girlfriend who wrote that..... im surprised she didnt put down the exact hour i got with her as well

Precious flower

Ugh this stupid picture came up on my timeline which said 'America call it the world ending' 'In Ireland we call it summer' with comments like 'Oh soooo tru ha ha'. Except ah, maybe it's a fecking hurricane! God, what morons!:mad:

fullstop

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Eh... perhaps they know people affected by Sandy?

What does posting "stay safe" on facebook achieve? Attention-seeking.

wnolan1992

fullstop wrote: »

What does posting "stay safe" on facebook achieve? Attention-seeking.

Well it's the same as posting "RIP ____". Just lets people know you're thinking of them.

There are so much worse things that idiots post on FB, I don't think something which, at its core, is well meaning should be held up as an example of the idiocy that goes on.

The King of Moo

fullstop wrote: »

What does posting "stay safe" on facebook achieve? Attention-seeking.

They might actually be intending it to be read as a direct message to their American facebook friends.

bajer100

When people like their own statuses or posts. It's the equivalent of giving yourself a high five in public.

sea_monkey

bajer100 wrote: »

When people like their own statuses or posts. It's the equivalent of giving yourself a high five in public.

clapping?

leggo

There are some genuinely funny/annoying traits in this thread, but an awful lot of the time people are criticising others for simply not having the communication skills to relay well-intentioned messages.

I didn't write any well wishes for people caught in Sandy (fortunately, I'd gotten updates from family before having to check, though I did post a couple of things about it to subtly let them know that I knew what was going on and was thinking of them). But I'd sooner be friends with the person who writes well wishes in txtspk than the person who sneers at them for being a decent person in perfect English, tbh.

wildlifeboy

ur fkn dedly lego

end of the road

leggo wrote: »

There are some genuinely funny/annoying traits in this thread, but an awful lot of the time people are criticising others for simply not having the communication skills to relay well-intentioned messages.

I didn't write any well wishes for people caught in Sandy (fortunately, I'd gotten updates from family before having to check, though I did post a couple of things about it to subtly let them know that I knew what was going on and was thinking of them). But I'd sooner be friends with the person who writes well wishes in txtspk than the person who sneers at them for being a decent person in perfect English, tbh.

trs n excse fr grn adlts usn txt spk tny bpr bbas mybe bt nt grn adlts,
theirs no excuse for grown adults using text speak, teeny bobber babas maybe but not grown adults.

Ficheall

end of the road wrote: »

trs n excse fr grn adlts usn txt spk tny bpr bbas mybe bt nt grn adlts,
theirs no excuse for grown adults using text speak, teeny bobber babas maybe but not grown adults.

Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone...

Of course, it could have been intentional. Possibly.

kunst nugget

Ficheall wrote: »

Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone...

Of course, it could have been intentional. Possibly.

An occasional slip in the use of the wrong word is an awful lot more forgivable than trying to decipher a message that looks like someone mistakenly sent a text by standing on their mobile phone with a football boot.

wnolan1992

Ficheall wrote: »

Let he who is without sin among you cast the first stone...

Of course, it could have been intentional. Possibly.

*casts stone*

NegativeCreep

end of the road wrote: »

trs n excse fr grn adlts usn txt spk tny bpr bbas mybe bt nt grn adlts,
theirs no excuse for grown adults using text speak, teeny bobber babas maybe but not grown adults.

There's a difference between txtspk and just choosing what letters out if a word you want to write

Whatsernamex33

"on the bus home from town earlier and there were aloud of school kids on the bus talking very loud i released a few min in the bus ride i haden a clue what they were saying english language r.i.p."

Irony of that... :rolleyes:

hefferboi

https://www.facebook.com/shaggy.boii.1?ref=ts&fref=ts

Best page I've ever seen. This lad is turning into an online rockstar. Some of the statuses and comments are unreal.