Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Voodoomelon

All from the same person. Sound in real life, but jesus the FB status...


"You ever notice wen u have a mug of tay & its a bit too hot, u blow on it & it makes no difference?!"

"Jst got spoilt rotten with a lovely big home-cooked steak by XXXXXXX"

"Anyone got any spare socks? Mine are soaked...thanks!"

"I'm dreamin of a white easter?! Doesnt have the same ring to it!"

"Where the **** did the snow come from?!!!"

"I love XXXXXXX, shes the love of my life, most beautiful girl in the world!!!!!!!!! Love u girl x"

"Early valentine gift this mornin! Home made cookies from the lady in my life!! Nom nom nom"

"Ireland ireland together standin tall....."

How so Joe

Ficheall wrote: »

Timeframe doesn't make much sense either...

Is that in relation to my post? It was posted at 12.33, so it was their wedding anniversary, but only just. Last year I would assume she was about to go to bed to sleep before the actual day.

Boombastic

Disney PJ's Is she 6?

How so Joe

Boombastic wrote: »

Disney PJ's Is she 6?

They had a Disney themed wedding. And went to Disneyland on honeymoon. And are going back there tomorrow.

el dude

How so Joe wrote: »

They had a Disney themed wedding. And went to Disneyland on honeymoon. And are going back there tomorrow.

Wowzers.

johnmcdnl

Girl: How do you get fizzy water seeing as water isn't fizzy?
Guy: Carbon Dioxide
Girl: But sur ya can't drink that? Sur it's a gas.

:o

Seen that posted a good while ago and can't remember the exact wording but it went along that lines with far worse grammar no doubt.

wandatowell

WTF is a "hunzo" and how do I kill it?

Reamer Fanny

U ok hun Facebook page should be right at home here.


https://facebook.com/pages/Hope-Ur-OK-Hun-xxxx/436228033119083?id=436228033119083&_rdr

shanec1928

eoin2nc wrote: »

One of the best facebook groups I have come across! http://www.facebook.com/hopeurokhun?fref=ts

.

justryan wrote: »

U ok hun Facebook page should be right at home here.


https://facebook.com/pages/Hope-Ur-OK-Hun-xxxx/436228033119083?id=436228033119083&_rdr

.:eek:

Love2love

I love the thread but what really keeps me coming back, is to see if I know anyone or if someone has quoted me

Drakares

http://i.imgur.com/QV6po8r.jpg

Who knew dough could forever meet its end?

Irishchick

How so Joe wrote: »

I read this in my feed today.



I... What? She is sitting next to him on the couch. Say it to him! Write it in your damn card! And capitalise your I!

We have mutual friends!!! I really like this girl but I seriously wish she would just talk to him instead of carrying out the relationship on facebook!! It's almost like they need others to validate everything!

extra gravy

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BGOEjG2CEAA6sWC.jpg:large

:eek:

M44B19

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

How so Joe

Irishchick wrote: »

We have mutual friends!!! I really like this girl but I seriously wish she would just talk to him instead of carrying out the relationship on facebook!! It's almost like they need others to validate everything!

I really like her too, but on facebook everything she does annoys me. Gahhh.

Ihatecuddles-old

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.
[COLOR="Red"]
NSFW![/COLOR]

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

It's like Jay from the inbetweeners!

Modelling shoot with mila kunis and rihanna!

coolhull

extra gravy wrote: »

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BGOEjG2CEAA6sWC.jpg:large

:eek:

With a mother as thick as that, the poor "bby" would be much better off if it was adopted

Mr. Wong

There's this one clown I know and 90% of his status' consist of "that sinking feeling having to set the alarm for 6:30am", "work in the morning, how will get up at all" and "thoughts of getting up at stupid o'clock".

You're not the only person with a job you irritating prick!

Grayson

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

That has to be a pisstake. Is she some comedienne who's trying to create a viral sensation?

coolhull

Grayson wrote: »

That has to be a pisstake. Is she some comedienne who's trying to create a viral sensation?

Like she says, she's "propa famous now".
Is England and America really that short of super-models? Poor deluded girl, and probably Irish too. Would someone please go over for her and take her home?

On second thoughts, we have enough fcukin eejits over here already.

Bipolar Joe

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

This is GOLD.

People don't understand that I'm a witch comin from gypsie roots. If any of you low life mingers hate on me, any minute expect to scratch your genital area. yeah thats right bitchez you'll have GENITAL WARTS ya's miserable cunts

love my sexy launderette from Anne Summers

Love fartin on my hand and sniffin it! does smell nasty like mouldy eggs init

Who ever it is, they're a comic genius.

kilkenny12

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

"Our father who aint in even holy be thy name thy kingdom come AMEN"
LOL

dark crystal

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

Brilliant

Jarrod

Anyone know what this 'I'm going to Timbuktu for 78 months' bollox is?

coolhull

Jarrod wrote: »

Anyone know what this 'I'm going to Timbuktu for 78 months' bollox is?

Sorry, no idea, But then I have no idea what most of the sh1te on FB is anyway.

wnolan1992

Jarrod wrote: »

Anyone know what this 'I'm going to Timbuktu for 78 months' bollox is?

Probably one of those things to "raise awareness" of some "cause".

Jarrod

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Probably one of those things to "raise awareness" of some "cause".

It's clearly doing the trick so.

milltown

M44B19 wrote: »

This popped up on my news feed.

NSFW!

https://www.facebook.com/KellyBarrettModel

I was sent that during the week too. Excellent.
What's even funnier than the statuses is the anger and bile directed at her by people who seem to take genuine umbrage that somebody so "aesthetically challenged" would dare to have any self confidence, let alone post it in public on Facebook, instead of just getting the joke.

shanec1928

"outa da twn fr da weekend da dam ere we cum "

an old one there were a few more gems i was looking for but they were deleted .

yerwanthere123

"Strangly happy 2 b bak 2 work, I kinda feel bad tho 4 da people who want 2 but cant find work, its ****ed up lyk, wat was once a gr8 nation led by the greatest leaders a country could ask for full of proud hard workin people, reduced 2 broke, jobless people ruled by greedy rich polititions! It makes me sick nd Its not right!!!"

The voice of a generation.

Boombastic

Are you friends with Bertie?

Mr. Wong

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"Strangly happy 2 b bak 2 work, I kinda feel bad tho 4 da people who want 2 but cant find work, its ****ed up lyk, wat was once a gr8 nation led by the greatest leaders a country could ask for full of proud hard workin people, reduced 2 broke, jobless people ruled by greedy rich polititions! It makes me sick nd Its not right!!!"

The voice of a generation.

It might be grammatically terrible but he/she speaks the truth!!

EuskalHerria

Someone just wished Greys Anatomy happy birthday on my timeline.

Grayson

EuskalHerria wrote: »

Someone just wished Greys Anatomy happy birthday on my timeline.

Ahh Fcuk. I forgot to send a card.

EuskalHerria

Grayson wrote: »

Ahh Fcuk. I forgot to send a card.

This status has 8 likes. After I'm done weeping for humanity, do you want to split a card?

It all reminds me of this:


Homer: I think the government has better things to do than to read my mail.

FBI Agent: Most people write to movie stars. This Simpson guy writes to movies; “Dear Die Hard, You rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. PS: Do you know Mad Max?”

cazzzzz

'Dats it, did a cleannout of all mi facebk frends finally lol ' still has 1009 friends.

UNFRIEND.

cazzzzz

'Dats it, did a cleannout of all mi facebk frends finally lol ' still has 1009 friends.

UNFRIEND.

smokedeels

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599415_529995380377351_1651826348_n.jpg

My issue with this is... it's clearly b/s and it's not even a made-up problem in Ireland, so why would somebody who lives here share it?

At the same time, I'm actually glad they did, because under the picture was the following comment...

"If these Gang Rapist put enough energy into "Good" instead of "Evil"! The world would be a better place!"

Riesen_Meal

Someone is obviously in the bad books this morning....


Ugh....

Grayson

Fieldog wrote: »

Someone is obviously in the bad books this morning....


Ugh....

No-one's in trouble. It's just a stupid woman who wants to appear smart.

EuskalHerria

Fieldog wrote: »

Someone is obviously in the bad books this morning....


Ugh....

Anyone who shares, likes or uploads those "deep" pictures should be sent to a specialist prison for re-programming.

These profound pictures and ridiculous quotes are always shared by people who one minute are deep, full of thought and misunderstood but the next its "h8 dis $hit, so $ick of al da bull$hit, 2k13 4lYf BbZ" etc.

People thinking they're well read and learned because they share pseudo intellectual pictures and quotes? You're so under appreciated in your time you. absolute moron! I bet you had to use a dictionary for the majority of the words in that quote.

coolhull

Bit

coolhull

https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/575025/246977.PNG


Bit of humour ........(finally)

mud

Posted by a Swedish friend, translated by Bing

Tremors after pressing into me sandwich cake, cake, buns on mazarin. On an extra mazarin for baby ... But what the heck-you fill in only once a year! Thank you all that grattat me, hope I will meet with all of you soon!

Ihatecuddles-old

This is my friend Alex , he has been bullied in school recently about his looks and his self esteem is just a little low, can we get a few likes to show he's beautiful ? :')

The photo has 21,000+ likes.

leggo

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

This is my friend Alex , he has been bullied in school recently about his looks and his self esteem is just a little low, can we get a few likes to show he's beautiful ? :')

The photo has 21,000+ likes.

The best way to improve someone's lagging self-esteem is usually to highlight that exact issue to over 21,000 people, to be fair. Works 90% of the time...every time.

milltown

smokedeels wrote: »

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/599415_529995380377351_1651826348_n.jpg

My issue with this is... it's clearly b/s and it's not even a made-up problem in Ireland, so why would somebody who lives here share it?

At the same time, I'm actually glad they did, because under the picture was the following comment...

"If these Gang Rapist put enough energy into "Good" instead of "Evil"! The world would be a better place!"

What I love about this one is the idea that these "gangs" are tired of the hassle of having to go out raping so have came up with a cunning plan to have the rapees come to their door.

Ihatecuddles-old

Half naked girls get a lot of likes on Facebook. Let's see how many our troops can get.

Currently has 1,966,027 likes.

FGR

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

Half naked girls get a lot of likes on Facebook. Let's see how many our troops can get.

Currently has 1,966,027 likes.

How many likes or half naked girls?

:pac:

Togepi

"To go to work or stay in bed, hmm."

Am, how 'bout go to work if you're fortunate enough to have a job, christ!