Giving oral makes me vomit :(

Emme

seenitall wrote: »

Desperate stuff, Emme.

Having an attitude such as yours can only lead to a horribly unequal relationship, based on, frankly, not much more than desperation. Very, very unhealthy.

It would be unequal because any normal guy would surely think it crazy to put an ordinary, wage-earning, non-cheating woman on a pedestal the way you consider their male equivalents to be "heroes"; so right off the bat there is an inequality of feeling, making one person a "hero", and the other one a hero-worshipper - unequal, degrading and indicative of some serious self-esteem issues.

Just remember: when you look up to someone, you are giving them ample opportunity to look down on you; so make dam sure you are doing that for a very significant reason. I wouldn't call "not cheating" that reason in my worst nightmares!

I sympathise, but really Emme, you keep surprising me long after I thought I have read the most shocking of it... :eek:

Maybe I meet a lot of jerks and I was exaggerating by calling somebody who holds down a job and doesn't cheat a hero, but these guys are rarer than you'd think. I won't discuss this further here because it's off topic but go out any night of the week and you'll see what I mean.

Maple

Folks, please direct your replies to the OP and do not drag this thread any further offtopic.

Maple

Riskymove

Neyite wrote: »

I'd say that the discomfort you show in giving oral would be a big turn-off for most guys.

its that simple really

what bloke would want to do something that made his partner vomit?

LegacyUser

Emme my post wasn't targeted towards you, I actually agreed completely with your post on the top of this page saying she would be better off without this lad, and my post is also not aimed towards posters in other threads who offer helpful suggestions and who try to understand where the poster is coming from.
It is aimed towards the posters who come telling the poster that she should just do whatever it takes to keep her man happy or else he will cheat.
I wasn't bragging when I gave a description of my own case, I typed it in because I wanted to make it clear that I have a similar sex life to some of the type of posters I'm on about, and would also be the type to dress up for a night out but definitely not every day. I felt I needed to do this, because otherwise they would automatically assume that I was one of the women that they so love to gang up on, ie. someone who has less sex with their partner, or who is less like them. I was trying to make the point that just because they, and I like a certain amount of sex. or like to wear makeup doesn't mean that they have the right to call other women who don't abnormal or selfish.
I absolutely detest their attitude that you have to serve your man and just shut up and get on with doing things that make you unhappy, just to stop him from cheating.
You talk about compromise which is good. For some others their idea of compromise is to keep doing the thing you hate, just do it less often.
I just think that couples should find things that they BOTH enjoy, and that neither side should have to do things that they hate sexually.
I think from your posts you agree with me on that.
I don't agree that a man who doesn't cheat is a hero, I would just take it to be a norm. That's a different debate though.

This also isn't meant to be off topic, just letting the original poster know that she shouldn't worry or stress too much about the fear mongering threads on boards.
Leaving this thread now, otherwise I probably will end up dragging it off topic.
Just reiterating my original message to the poster, and making clear that I wasn't targeting Emme's post.

lazygal

Emme wrote: »

I know you're saying that you read posts here which insinuate that girls ought to give their bfs oral all the time but don't mind everything you read here. Some of those guys advocating this could be 50 year old virgins for all that we know. I find the tone of some threads on these boards quite misogynistic.


Right now you are literally making yourself sick for the physical pleasure of your boyfriend. Think about it.

Couldn't agree more with the first part of this post. One of the reasons I post less and less on here is the aggressive nature of many of the male posters regarding what is expected from women in relationships these days.

And OP, the second part is my advice too-don't do something that makes you feel ill, what man would want you to go through that.

LegacyUser

if you want to please him but gag you ould try with some flavoured condoms from boots. my gf is same as you and those work for her

common sense brigade

For goodness sake just give the man a blowjob and stop acting like a teenager from a convant school. must be boring as watching paint dry in your Bedroom of an evening.

lazygal

common sense brigade wrote: »

For goodness sake just give the man a blowjob and stop acting like a teenager from a convant school. must be boring as watching paint dry in your Bedroom of an evening.

Lovely, helpful comment here. This type of nonsense is why a lot of people who used to post here don't bother.

OP-ignore this type of nonsense, its nothing to do with being a convent girl, we all like different things in bed.

Fluorescence

common sense brigade wrote: »

For goodness sake just give the man a blowjob and stop acting like a teenager from a convant school. must be boring as watching paint dry in your Bedroom of an evening.

Did you even read the OP? It's not that she doesn't like giving oral, or hasn't tried (multiple times) to overcome her natural reflex. The way you make it sound is like she refuses to suck on her boyfriend because she thinks it's a bit yucky. FFS :mad:

Oryx

common sense brigade's comment has been dealt with, so we can move on, thank you.

LegacyUser

As you can see op, most people on this thread have advised you to stop doing something that makes you physically ill, so please disregard posts from other females or males that try to make you feel inadequate or try to belittle you.
There is nothing wrong with you.

shoes34

common sense brigade wrote: »

For goodness sake just give the man a blowjob and stop acting like a teenager from a convant school. must be boring as watching paint dry in your Bedroom of an evening.

what a horrible comment to make - if you don't like to do something and it obviously makes you ill don't do it, just talk to your boyfriend and explain why and I am sure he doesn't want you doing something that makes you gag.

Ickle Magoo

As per the forum charter, if you have an issue with a post or poster then report it.

The post in question has already been dealt with by a moderator so could posters stop dragging the thread off-topic by taking it upon themselves to also personally remonstrate.

Many thanks

Emme

shoes34 wrote: »

what a horrible comment to make - if you don't like to do something and it obviously makes you ill don't do it, just talk to your boyfriend and explain why and I am sure he doesn't want you doing something that makes you gag.

I agree with this post, if something makes you sick don't do it. If your boyfriend is reasonable he'll understand and won't pressure you into it, if he doesn't understand then you're better off without him.

kylith

OP: if you want to give oral, but don't like the taste you can get flavoured condoms.

If you don't want to give oral tell your boyfriend that it makes you puke (you could say you have a strong gag reflex). That's what I said to an ex that kept trying for deep-throat; I said I was willing to try but that I'd just vomit on his genitals, and it was up to him. He never asked me again.

Fluorescence

kylith wrote: »

OP: if you want to give oral, but don't like the taste you can get flavoured condoms.

But she said her boyfriend refused to use condoms earlier in the thread. You'd think he'd at least compromise on that much if he wants blowjobs that badly but apparently not. Selfishness of some people knows no bounds.


I can't get over the fact you're still with such an inconsiderate ass, OP. The mind boggles.

kylith

fluorescence wrote: »

But she said her boyfriend refused to use condoms earlier in the thread. You'd think he'd at least compromise on that much if he wants blowjobs that badly but apparently not. Selfishness of some people knows no bounds.


I can't get over the fact you're still with such an inconsiderate ass, OP. The mind boggles.

Ah, I missed that, sorry.

Tell him to suck it himself, if it means that much to him.

time4tea

vomit girl wrote: »

If i have given him oral and ever go to kiss him he pulls away and asks me to brush my teeth, he says its disgusting to kiss me after i've given oral, is that a usual thing?

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but get RID of this guy!

If he thinks it's disgusting then he should understand why you are getting sick and not expect you to do it.

Seriously OP this guy does not seem to be worth it. He sounds like he has no respect for you at all.

Any guy I know might be dissapointed (really disappointed ) that their OH couldn't give oral but wouldn't not put them through this.

As a lot of posters have pointed out if he loved you he wouldn't pressure or force you into doing anything you didn't want to do, let alone were physically ill from.

By all means speak to him and explain what is happening so you can be sure he is fully aware (but he really should have more cop on than he seems to be displaying) and if he can't handle it you're probably better off without him, honestly.

Fluorescence

vomit girl wrote: »

He doesn't want to bother with condoms as he can't feel anything with condoms.

Actually, now that I read this again, it doesn't seem quite right. Either he doesn't like condoms, or he's not using them properly (feeling absolutely nothing with them on isn't normal AFAIK unless he's wearing like, 5 extra safe ones :pac:). This may sound stupid, but considering your boyfriend hasn't come across as the most intelligent man alive in your posts, I'm gonna ask: when he did use condoms, did he pull back his foreskin before putting them on?

And if he does know how to put a condom on properly but still doesn't think that at the very least he should have to wear one to save you vomiting when you go down on him, then I'm asking: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WITH THIS MAN?

HJL

To me it sounds like a hygiene issue on his part. (pun non intended)

You say you rarely get to the finish line, so to me there should be no taste or smell of semen during oral. A bit of pre-cum but nothing that should be overpowering.

So basically if he tastes or smells as soon as you go down on him or roll his foreskin back then its most likely an infection or more probable he doesnt wash properly i.e. pull foreskin back and the head properly.

Dudess

OP, I think it's perfectly valid to try working on overcoming something that you might not be mad about but that your partner loves (within reason obviously)... however, if it's a horrible experience for you rather than something you're not pushed about, and it remains that way and/or even gets worse, then you should NOT do it. If you would like to overcome the difficulty you have with it, maybe a doctor/sex therapist could help you out (and before the shrieks of "Oh my god, she told the girl she needs medical help/therapy for not wanting to give head!") that is not what I mean.

But if your partner is in any way coercing you, and refusing to understand your difficulty - either tell him to ****ing quit it... or say bye-bye. It's that simple, because that is emotional abuse.

Oral can be a lovely experience between a loving couple, but obviously not if there's any form of coercion. Best of luck.

WollyScarf wrote: »

I think I know what types of threads the original poster was on about. There are often threads here that do nothing other than to try and fear some other women.
If you don't wear makeup, your husband will leave you, and you obviously have no self esteem or care in your appearance, or for your husband.
If you don't give oral, then he will get it somewhere else, because it's a 'fundamental' part of every sexual relationship. You should do something that you hate doing as a 'sacrifice' for the man you love.
If you don't have sex at least three times a week then your husband will cheat.(even though you are still having regular sex, but are tired and drained from work some nights, he will cheat if you don't have it every time he initiates it, because y'know you're hurting his feelings and pride and all by 'rejecting' him.)Obviously a serious lack of sex is a problem, but people come here preaching about the littlest things calling the posters selfish, or ill if they don't constantly feel in the mood for it..
If your husband has a job, and doesn't beat you or cheat on you, then you should be soooooooooo grateful, and willing to fufill his every want and need to thank him for being such a wonderful human being! Because you are "so lucky to have a good man, y'know".
Sadly, most of these replies are from other women....

I'm quoting the above from actual threads I've read here on Boards.

No you're not quoting - you're exaggerating and cherrypicking and lying. Firstly, just because the very occasional person says stuff as extreme as that (and they're probably on a wind-up) doesn't mean there's a general trend of it here. Secondly, you're taking stuff out of context and leaving out lots of facts. The make-up thread had a lot more to it and you know well it did... There is the very, very odd regular poster here whom I wouldn't even disagree with all the time, but who occasionally posts "Stand by your man" stuff that does leave me thinking the same way you think, but I'd say there's one or two of them, if even. And sometimes they say stuff that is at odds with that, so they're not as blatantly Stepford as you say.

thecookingapple

Op, dont mind the people who dont bother to read your problem properly.

Your bf thinks its disgusting that you try to kiss him after you give him oral.

think about that.

you know you have a problem and you are trying to get help and overcome it and thats really great, i just feel your doing it for the wrong person, you cant possibly get over this with this person if he thinks its in some way disgusting that you rty to kiss him directly after oral, how can you disagree when it makes you physically sick?

If one day you meet someone who loves and is understanding of you then anything is possible and in a trusting and healthy enviroment then i am sure you could get over this, i jsut think with your current ancient in thought bf it is not.

wish you luck.

Fluorescence

OP, will you be coming back to update us?