Worst time in your life?

Irish Guitarist

New Years Eve 1999. I got the news my father was going to die. It was depressing to think of everyone out celebrating the millennium when my father was dying. He died four days later.

I still can't stand New Years Eve or New Years Day and I try to avoid watching the countdown.

Tubsandtiles

Today, my grandfather died , I wish we had been closer.

Oranage2

one summer bout 4 years ago after finishing school- no job, kinda lost touch with all my friends, no future, didnt want to do anything, almost depressed but reading the depression thread i wasnt anywhere near that. ended going to college and everything turned out alright,


dog died was one of my most upsetting times but hardly the worst time of my life.


Not that bad of a life considering other stories in this the thread.

RosyLily

So sorry to hear that tubsandtiles, my condolences.

Worst time in mine was May 07- November 07. Began with my uncle being taken into hospital with pains and tiredness. Long story short he had an operation on his heart, went into a coma then died a few days later. I found out when I was getting ready for my 6th year graduation mass. News didn't really hit me til later that night. Tossed out everything I had that reminded me of the night- clothes I was wearing, shoes, photos etc.

Fast forward few months later, I'm in college...not enjoying it since I'm in a huge course, no friends and just feeling down on myself. Got a phonecall one morning, early November- Mam telling me that my other uncle had died (after 2 year battle with cancer). Still remember exactly where I was when I heard.

Worse thing was that both deaths were at my dad's side of the family. The man has buried so many family members already and still seems to strong. Hero.

df1985

from august last year to approx febuary this year. My mam passed awayin august, im an only child, have already lost my dad. lonely times. unemployed too which doesnt help, and slipped into depression-some dark days.xmas was horrible, pipes in the house burst, felt like one thing after another kicking me while i was down.

back on me feet now thankfully, brilliant mates got me through it.

pragmatic1

df1985 wrote: »

from august last year to approx febuary this year. My mam passed awayin august, im an only child, have already lost my dad. lonely times. unemployed too which doesnt help, and slipped into depression-some dark days.xmas was horrible, pipes in the house burst, felt like one thing after another kicking me while i was down.

back on me feet now thankfully, brilliant mates got me through it.

Jesus thats rough man. Fair play to your mates.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Tubsandtiles wrote: »

Today, my grandfather died , I wish we had been closer.

I am very sorry to hear that.

--LOS--

probably around the time I was looking after my grandmother before her death, then losing her, while being in an abusive, violent relationship, doing badly in college because of all that and the consequences of all of that since. what can you do, some things have a very lasting effect.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

brummytom

Oranage2 wrote: »

Not that bad of a life considering other stories in this the thread.

I was just thinking the same - I've been incredibly lucky so far in my life. Fair play to everyone here for posting their stories, some are truly inspirational.


For me, the worst time in my life was summer 2007. We found out in July that my nan had cancer. My nan had developed DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and was in and out of hospital for a few weeks. We got a message on the answer-machine on the 17th July from my nan saying she was bleeding heavily. As it was during the night, and none of us had been woken by the phonecall, we didn't ring back until a few hours later, and couldn't get in touch. Luckily she'd managed to call an ambulance, but that was a horrendous morning.
So she was in hospital again for a few more days.

I remember using my mom's laptop a few days after and seeing there'd been a google search about cancer. I asked her about this, and she told me there was a chance nan could be ill.

We went to Weston Supermare for the day, lovely sunny day - 27th July. On the way back, my mom got a call from my uncle. I remember her saying 'Is it what we thought?' and then 'How long?'. I was in the car with my family at the time, none of my siblings knew what was going on. I looked out the window, trying to hold back the tears. They told us it was months, not years.

I stayed with her for the week after she first came out of hospital. That was a horrible time, she was obviously getting ill. She was always the life and soul of the party, more like a teenager than a pensioner, but in that last month she became a shadow of her former self.

Anyway, the summer passed incredibly quickly. Nan got over to Dublin to say her goodbyes; which I'm really glad she got to do.

Nan went into hospital against her will, on the 31st August. We saw her that day and the next, and she was in better form than ever. But she had a 'huge' (words of the doctor) stroke on the 2nd September, which was just absolutely heartbreaking. The doctors refused to give her any painkillers because it could kill her - my mom pleaded with them that she didn't want nan to suffer, but they were having none of it.

The 3rd of September was my birthday. I tried to enjoy it, but it wasn't easy. That was the last day I ever saw nan. The next morning I was reading a Dave Allen book I'd got for my birthday. My mom was nagging at me to get up because she wanted to go and visit nan. I was just getting up when the phone rang, and mom screamed. It wasn't anger, it was a scream I've never heard before or since, like her world had completely fallen to pieces.

The month that followed was equally as bad. It's a year I really don't want to remember, but I'm sure as this post shows (with all the dates included) it's something that I just can't forget.


I know that's nothing compared to most people here, as I say - I've been very lucky to have an easy life. But even now, thinking of that year kills me. I was always incredibly close to nan, she was like a friend (as stupid as that sounds). I don't mind admitting I'm writing this through tears now.




I doubt anyone's read all of that, but I hope I don't come across as a drama queen.

hondasam

Tubsandtiles wrote: »

Today, my grandfather died , I wish we had been closer.

Sorry for your loss Tubsandtiles.

Leftyflip

candy-gal1 wrote: »

This year really, just hoping things can only get better tbh

Well of course they can, even if they go down first, it's the way it is sometimes. Even if things seem crappy and like they won't get better they will.

From Janaury 2010 up to the start of this month was probably the worst time of my life, suicide, nearly dying, almost losing my now ex, diving into a major depression, all sorts of crazy crap. I told my parents and they were so supportive, went to the GP (who declared me insane basically an gave me no help) so I tried to do it myself and slowly got rid of all the bad, it was hard, but looking back on it, it's so worth it. Mind you my ex didn't really help...

By the way, coffee and a chat with a good mate can solve loads. So can having several mates over and watching as much Monthy Python as you can.


tubsandtiles - Sorry to hear that, my thoughts are with you an your family.

KittyeeTrix

Thinking of you tubsandtiles:(

RIP

bluecatmorgana

Far play to everyone posting! It can be tough but letting others know about your hard times can help people.

Also condolences to you, tubsandtiles.

For me it was a nervous breakdown 2 and a half years ago, I just stopped functioning. I have always suffered from depression but this was the absolute pinnacle. I've always been able to talk about my depression but then I just didnt care anymore. But thankfully due to medication I am at the best I've ever been.

Terry

Worst?
Hard to choose.
I've been down the suicide attempt path. That was twice in one weekend, and both attempts ended with (looking back now) slightly comedic effects.

However, I think the worst was having to pull the plug on my Father about 8 hours after my last conversation with him.

That was almost 9 years ago, but I still think about him every day. Mostly because I cross the road at the same pedestrian crossing where he was knocked down by a hit and run driver. I can still see the dried pool of blood that was there for days after he was hit.

Probably the worst part of it all was having to do it over the phone due to agorophobia.
I had woken on a Saturday morning and was determined to get into the hospital that day. He had been in for 6 weeks at that stage, but was under sedation for most of that time.

Durig the sedation period, he had to have half of one of his legs amputated because of the injuries.

When I finally fought the agorophobia, we sat and talked for about an hour. I had to leave because my cousin needed her car, and he had to have dressings changed and other hospital related things.

Within a few hours, and after being completley fine, he had slipped into a coma. Doctors said that there was very little chance of him recovering.
I got the call, freaked out and couldn't leave the house.
His brother rang me, put me on to the doctor, and I fulfilled my Father's wish of not being left in a coma. His family have not spoken to me since the funeral. **** them. Dicks.

Scuid Mhór

usually i'm a bit of a joker round here and i've noticed that my life isn't really as bad as others have been and currently are... but i feel like i may as well contribute to this thread so:

late 2007 i made a very, very, very bad mistake. the second worst mistake of my life. i'm not going to go details into it but the results of what happened were that the people who were my friends couldn't look at me without laughing at me and those who weren't my friends could push me around and nobody would tell them to stop. i remember about two weeks after my terrible mistake came to light, i got into a fight with the biggest kid in our year. except it wasn't really a fight - he walked up from behind me and hit me three times in the back of the head.

i was slowly losing it. my will to do well in school; my will to have friends... i needed a way out.

there was a computer in my room that didn't have internet connection but i'm resourceful. i hacked into my router and figured out our wifi password like a champ. by 'hacked into my router' i mean i turned it around and the label on the back of it told me the password. but 'hacked into my router' sounds cooler.

so anyway, i discovered a thing called forums. it was a beautiful moment. i had found a way out. i could make friends again; have fun; say whatever i wanted. the problem was that the virtual world started becoming my real world. i was staying up until five in the morning talking to strangers about issues i didn't care about. i was getting up two hours later to go to school. i was falling asleep in class. maybe if i had friends i could have dragged myself out of it but this went on for half a year. my grades were falling and i was viewed as the weirdo of the school.

and the worst part was that i didn't realise it was an addiction. a friend of mine told me a few months ago that with smoking, the cigarettes are there - you know you're addicted to them because you keep finding them in your hand. with forums, it's a mental addiction. half the time you don't even realise you've opened another tab.

i don't really want to talk about it anymore. sorry but my enthusiasm for this post is dying as my friends are texting me about arrangements for tomorrow night so i'll wrap it up by saying:

in the end i managed to cut myself away from the addiction after a wonderful, wonderful summer during which i made some lifetime friends. we don't see each other much but i love them individually for helping me out of that horrible trap. two years later i ended up with ten honours in the junior cert - i'm aiming for medicine and i've got the greatest set of friends i could ever hope for.

mightn't seem very big in comparison to what some people have to go through but when you reach the very bottom and the hormones are against you, all you want is to prove yourself and get some friends. and that's what i did.

Superbus

My Dad died after 16 years of aggressive on/off cancer when I was 6. The year later my granddad (mum's dad) died, of lung cancer, and the year after that her best friend died, of breast cancer. Really shook her, and I was the only child at home (very complicated), so I struggled. We got through it though, but it took a while.

I just about understood what was going on, unfortunately. I essentially lived in hospitals for the first 8 years of my life, and I'd never been sick.

easyeason3

The last three years have been particularly tough. I have been in horrible situations that I never ever want to witness again.
Once or twice I did think 'maybe I should just take a few pills & wash it down with a nice bottle of brandy' so everything will be over. TBH looking back I had no intention of doing it, I just think I was trying to make myself feel worse so I could cry. I know that sounds strange but I couldn't cry over certain people in my life dying. So I'd have these makey uppy sceanarios in my head to make me get upset & once the floodgates opened I found I could actually cry & grieve.
It makes no sense whatsoever. Even typing it out is making me wonder if my mind is going!

Anyway, at the moment life is good. I really hope it won't ever get as bad as it did but hey I've come through it once so I can do it again.

Aishae

for me the worst is every time i have to wait between scans / medical tests and the time when i see my consultant. which might be weeks or a month or 2. because it's never good news. they're always finding something new that's wrong or even something they operated on before that needs taking care of again. and i feel for the people around me especially my folks as they have to go through that uncertainty every time too.

ive had 11 treatments over 13 years - all but 2 were in the last 7 years.
i can deal with things when i know what the story is. ive dealt with a lot of blows. with the first blow i lost my hearing and with the latest one i was told the operation to save the use of my legs wasnt a sucess.
currently im waiting on more results - and its my eyes that we're worried about. which scares me sh^tless. but ill deal with whatever it is they tell me. its the not knowing i cant take well.

there is always light at the end of the tunnel though. they couldnt continue the operation on my spine - which would stop me losing the power of my legs - as that was too dangerous. they never thought i'd be zipping around the place (with a walking aid) very quickly after surgery and 8 months later im still zipping around (only, faster). and ill keep zipping around.
i like to think i keep living out of spite :cool:

easyeason3

Aishae wrote: »

for me the worst is every time i have to wait between scans / medical tests and the time when i see my consultant. which might be weeks or a month or 2. because it's never good news. they're always finding something new that's wrong or even something they operated on before that needs taking care of again. and i feel for the people around me especially my folks as they have to go through that uncertainty every time too.

ive had 11 treatments over 13 years - all but 2 were in the last 7 years.
i can deal with things when i know what the story is. ive dealt with a lot of blows. with the first blow i lost my hearing and with the latest one i was told the operation to save the use of my legs wasnt a sucess.
currently im waiting on more results - and its my eyes that we're worried about. which scares me sh^tless. but ill deal with whatever it is they tell me. its the not knowing i cant take well.

there is always light at the end of the tunnel though. they couldnt continue the operation on my spine - which would stop me losing the power of my legs - as that was too dangerous. they never thought i'd be zipping around the place (with a walking aid) very quickly after surgery and 8 months later im still zipping around (only, faster). and ill keep zipping around.
i like to think i keep living out of spite :cool:

Fair play to you.
I think I'm going to print your post & put it in my wallet as inspiration.

When my mother told me she had breast cancer, back in 2001. She's in the clear now thankfully. I've somehow managed to drown out a lot of that time of my life, can barely remember most of it.

Mars Bar

There is two that stand out for me:

1 In first year of secondary school, watching my best friend scream in pain in PE class as a brain hemorrhage brought her to the brink of death. She was in a coma for three weeks, didn't get to see her for about 6 weeks when she finally got transferred back from Beaumont. Glad to say she is doing really well now and has just given birth to a wonderful little girl!

2Last November when I was on a bus that crashed and our bus driver was killed. It was a student bus so we were all regulars and had the same driver every week so you kind of feel you have some sort of friendship with the driver at that stage. I was also only two seats behind the driver, heard them pronouncing him dead and saw the priest giving the last rites. Images that will haunt me forever. It all got a bit too much for me and manifested itself over Christmas. Suffered from anxiety and slight depression but the services in college were great and they got me the help I needed.

I learned things about me that I did and didn't like over the past 6 months.

I'm glad to say I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and feel confident of coming off my medication soon as the wounds are healing.

W.Shakes-Beer

Seeing my grandfather slowly dying of cancer. The man I spent a lot of time with through my life, looked up to him, had so much fun with. Wasn't just a family member but also a friend.

The most self educated and interesting person I've ever known; could not read or write but amazed me with his knowledge. I feel in a way he shaped me to who I am now, never a day goes by where I don't think of the man.

A strong man at heart and mind who in the space of a year became a shadow of his former self. All came to a quiet end on my 16th bithday, 7th/March/2006.

Will never be forgotten in my heart; actually in tears writing this.

I love you Grandad Michael. RIP

themandan6611

worst time ?? it lasted from the time i was 5 till i was 25. My ma died when i was 5, i can remember to this day (i'm 35 now) her being carried out into an ambulance and the sheer hell that followed, sitting in the church with her coffin in front of me, feeling really proud cause i was on the altar with all my school friends in the main crowd .

The old man re-married within 2 years (1984) - he was fond of the drink and needed a babysitter, the mental and physical abuse that followed from the step mother from hell was like from a film - quotes such as "its a good job your mother is dead" etc etc...

Left home at 17, did a fierce amount of fighting, drink and drugs for the next 8 years, nearly died through cocaine and self loathing,

Thankfully at the age of 26 I meet my redepmtion, the one person who has loved me with without question. We are now expecting our first child and life looks great:)

Shivers26

Probably a bit lame compared to some things previously mentioned, but my worst time was suffering from post natal depression. Didnt get help for it for over 18 months and in the that time managed to do serious damage to my relationship with both my OH and my child.

Once I was able to acknowledge that there was a serious problem and got some help things did turn around but there was serious graft involved from all of us.

I really admire anybody who has lived with depression and was strong enough to get help

I_am_LOST

Worst time for me is from the age of 13 up to now (I'm 19). Although even before that, went through a bad patch when my mother had cancer but I was a bit too young to understand, and thankfully she got through it. But I had a normal, happy enough childhood and was privillaged to have a roof over my head, a family and receive a great education.

As soon as I went to secondary school, things went downhill. Sunk into a deep depression, started drinking too much which later led to being picked up by the Gardai on occasion and continuously disappointing and worrying my parents. Then at 15, got sexually abused by three men and was made go through all the process with the police afterwards even though I didn't want to.

19 now and have had no physical intimacy, no boyfriends, never had sex (apart from the abuse) I was incredibly lonely and depressed. Thoughts of suicide every other day. And then my grandmother (my best friend and practically my mother. She brought me up) died from cancer.

But, there's so many people who are so much worse off than me. I really don't even deserve to be depressed. And I'm hoping 2011 is the year for me

Aishae

easyeason3 wrote: »

Fair play to you.
I think I'm going to print your post & put it in my wallet as inspiration.

i changed my mind several times over whether or not to post because i dont think too much about that stuff (or at least - i dont draw attention to it) but it seemed the stories here were helping some people and i thought - perhaps mine can do the same and thats worth sharing for

so its good to know

Terry

I'm posting this link here because not everyone reads the stickies: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056241245

Mickey Dolenz, I suggest you link to your sticky thread in the first post of this thread.

I just scrolled up to see how many posts I've made here.
it's 22,200.
22,000 of them have been me taking the piss, being sarcastic or being a dick.
This post is one of the 200 serious ones.

I joke about my own suicide attempts, but I never joke about other people being suicidal.

php-fox

...

kowloon

php-fox wrote: »

... A guy with a degree, a profession a love, healthy curiosity in everything I do, and a fight the size of a fricking elephant deep inside. It really taught me to never give up no matter what. If your closest people treat you like that than what to expect from complete strangers. Rely on yourself and choose people wisely.

Learn from your hard times and be cool

Any one else double take reading that?

Waste0fSpace

Aishae wrote: »

for me the worst is every time i have to wait between scans / medical tests and the time when i see my consultant. which might be weeks or a month or 2. because it's never good news. they're always finding something new that's wrong or even something they operated on before that needs taking care of again. and i feel for the people around me especially my folks as they have to go through that uncertainty every time too.

ive had 11 treatments over 13 years - all but 2 were in the last 7 years.
i can deal with things when i know what the story is. ive dealt with a lot of blows. with the first blow i lost my hearing and with the latest one i was told the operation to save the use of my legs wasnt a sucess.
currently im waiting on more results - and its my eyes that we're worried about. which scares me sh^tless. but ill deal with whatever it is they tell me. its the not knowing i cant take well.

there is always light at the end of the tunnel though. they couldnt continue the operation on my spine - which would stop me losing the power of my legs - as that was too dangerous. they never thought i'd be zipping around the place (with a walking aid) very quickly after surgery and 8 months later im still zipping around (only, faster). and ill keep zipping around.
i like to think i keep living out of spite :cool:

you rock

php-fox

kowloon wrote: »

Any one else double take reading that?

You just had to turn a serious topic into a joke?

AskMyChocolate

An amazing thread. So many sad, moving, heartfelt and inspiring posts. Helps to know you're not alone, and certainly helps to get some perspective. Thanks everyone for sharing.

Spore

I suppose the past 12-14 months have been an insane whirlwind of crapness (and some light!)

14 months ago I achieved one of my life’s ambitions (I created a public piece of art that went down a storm) unfortunately the experience caused me a very public nervous breakdown, lost me my girlfriend, lost my apartment, had to move back home with my folks (we don’t have the best of relationships) started drinking very very heavily, got prescribed anti-depressants, spiralled into depression…

Bounced back a bit.

Had further professional successes, started a masters course.

Ended up hating the masters course. Met the worst two people in my life. One, my ex-girl-friend who turned out to be a highly manipulative, physically and mentally abusive bitch from hell that tormented and stalked for months (and still tries to contact me). And I got her pregnant… (but at the back of my mind I think she’s faking it, yes, actually faking her pregnancy – that’s how fooked up she is). Second of the worst people was my tutor on the Master’s course. She is a bullying cúnt. We had an open war. Eventually I won that nasty spat but ended up getting alienated and cut off my all of my classmates so I stopped going to college.

My drinking got so bad I had four separate interventions from friends and families. I managed to lose a lot of friends and fook up a lot of relationships. Screwed up work, family, friends, college…

I also got robbed. Had my account skimmed and emptied (the bank are refusing to refund me). My bike’s tyre’s were slashed recently (my bike is my lifeblood). I’ve had several cycle accidents. My grandfather died a miserable death. I’ve been stalked TWICE in the previous four months. Harassed by phone and email *ughh*.

And yet…

I’m still fighting. It will take a whole lot more than that to bring me down! I’m sitting here with a big smile on my face because I know I can take life’s shit and keep smiling.

Leelaa22

Wow I was going to post here with my worst time. But after reading some of the posts here my problems are tiny in comparason.

It is inspiring to see people who have been through so much, still battling on and making the best out of life.

Big hugs to you all.

Xx

WorkingLunch

Last three years have been fairly bad, lost my younger brother to drugs, didn't really know about his problem until this happened thought it was a recreational thing but thats what they all say so I hear. Lost my wife through something she did while suffering from post natal depression, lost my job from being bullied by co-workers about my brothers death, and almost lost the roof over me and my kids heads plus everything else..

Now things are slowly turning (I think). I gave up drink a while ago (had my first pint in almost 9 months six weeks ago at my first night out in a year, not a great experience) and put a lot of effort into getting better mentally through counselling (turns out im suffering PTSD) and through running (I can't tell you how much this has helped me through the dark days) got a job and have started building some sort of life for me and the kids.

They have been amazing through the whole thing, we've had to deal with a lot, one of the worst was being snowed in, and having to drag them through 3 feet of snow for about half a mile, so they could get to the minders and dad could get to work at 6am in the morning -12 outside. As a parent you think you'll never have to make your children endure life like this and you feel like a total failure for it.. but you just got to get on with it and we are stronger together now than ever.

doolox

Death of my father in 2003.

My sisters divorce in 2002.

Job difficulties and demotion in 2005-6.

Diagnosis with aspergers in 2009.

Sonics2k

Dudess wrote: »

That sucks tremendously but it's understandable and right that you'd put your kids before anyone else - a caring partner would grasp that. And you weren't to know how things would turn out. Is there any hope of getting back with her? Because if there is, grab it - why not?

I toy with the idea of contacting her, but through mutual friends I've discovered she's started seeing someone, and is possibly going on a holiday to Australia with him.

If I had the chance to get her back, I'd take it in a heartbeat. But I could never "steal" her from someone else, it's just not my style. I've no reason to see some random guy get hurt, so I'll stay away.

Rubberlegs

Tears in my eyes reading this thread. Have had a few bad times myself starting in 1999, when Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was operated on and had all the chemo and radiotherapy, but ended up spending two months in hospital after getting burns off the radiotherapy. Thank God all is well now, and she is fit and healthy again.
Later, the same year I became pregnant with my second child. We were all thrilled, especially Mum. This was her reason to get better, she told us. I was young and healthy, had no reason to think anything could be wrong. When I went for a scan however, we were told our baby would be born needing immediate surgery, that was if she survived the pregnancy. She may not walk, and would have a life full of difficulty. Looking back, I don't know how I got through the pregnancy, without completely cracking. Thankfully, things were not as bad as feared, though she had surgery at 2 days old, and spent her first few weeks in hospital in Dublin. More surgery at 6 months, 4yrs and 7yrs old. Fast forward to now, and she's almost 11, enjoying life to the full, doing my head in, just as it should be:D. In her everyday life, she has to do things that I would not want to have to do to myself, she takes it in her stride, I'm so proud of her.

This time last year, my hale and hearty Dad started to complain of indigestion. I told him to take all the usual stuff, but nothing worked. He ended up not being able to eat with the discomfort. At the end of June, he ended up in hospital, for 2 weeks for tests. His heart, liver, kidneys all perfect. We all thought this was going to be something simple, Dad was never sick a day in his life. However, in a lung fluid sample, they found cancer cells. They asked Dad was it possible he'd ever come into contact with asbestos, and yes, he'd worked on building sites in London for 20 years:(. He was finally diagnosed in july , with a very aggressive form of lung cancer, only caused by exposure to asbestos dust. He went down unbelievably fast, the man who was so interested in life, didn't even have the will to read his papers. Within a week or so of being diagnosed, the tumour tipped off his spine, and he lost the use of his legs. The funny thing is, my Dad who gave out yards about everything:p, never once complained. He spent 3 months in hospital, and when they let him home at the end of October, i naively thought it was because he was on the mend. 9 days later, he ended up back in there again, developed a lung infection, and 5 days later on Nov 8th, slipped away surrounded by us all. It was just surreal, holding Dad's hand, as his body gave up. I don't think I'll ever forget it, the worst part to me is how quickly it took him from us, just over 3 months from diagnosis to death:(
I'm going to stop now, I've rambled enough. The one thing I have noticed reading this thread, is the sense of survival, of you all overcoming the bad times. Its inspirational. As they say, what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger:)

alexa5x5

I_am_LOST wrote: »

Worst time for me is from the age of 13 up to now (I'm 19). Although even before that, went through a bad patch when my mother had cancer but I was a bit too young to understand, and thankfully she got through it. But I had a normal, happy enough childhood and was privillaged to have a roof over my head, a family and receive a great education.

As soon as I went to secondary school, things went downhill. Sunk into a deep depression, started drinking too much which later led to being picked up by the Gardai on occasion and continuously disappointing and worrying my parents. Then at 15, got sexually abused by three men and was made go through all the process with the police afterwards even though I didn't want to.

19 now and have had no physical intimacy, no boyfriends, never had sex (apart from the abuse) I was incredibly lonely and depressed. Thoughts of suicide every other day. And then my grandmother (my best friend and practically my mother. She brought me up) died from cancer.

But, there's so many people who are so much worse off than me. I really don't even deserve to be depressed. And I'm hoping 2011 is the year for me

I am LOST- I know what you’re going through. I haven’t experienced everything you have but like you my teenage years where hellish. My Mum died when I was a kid, I lost my Dad too (long story) and up until a few years ago my home life was extremely abusive and unhealthy.

During my teenage years especially I couldn’t see a way out, I never thought my life would get better. I existed, that’s the only way to describe my day to day life.

I don’t want to use clichés and say “time heals” but in a way it’s true. For the first time in my adult life (I’m 28) I can say I’m honestly happy, it was a looonnng process but I got here. It didn’t happen over night or over weeks, but years. I don’t know if you talk to anyone, but that’s when things started to change for me, when I opened up to someone about how bad I was feeling. Because I’m an extremely private person it was hard, I put on an act of being normal for so long it was difficult to admit how dark I was inside. But honestly once I did that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I wish I could say that was it, that was all it took but with so many things in life, it was one step forward two steps back.

Once I admitted that I was suffering I realised that I couldn’t do it alone, I spoke to a doctor and got medicinal help. If you feel like that is a route you need to take don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad about it. If you have diabetes you take insulin, if you’ve heart disease you take heart pill....if you’ve depression, in some cases, you need medication. After I got medical help, I took one day at a time, doing little things that I liked doing, reading, watching my favourite movies, exercise...etc. But really one of the most important thing for me was taking to someone I trusted to listen to me and not judge me.

Please, please believe me when I say it can get better for you too. It won’t be easy, some days you will struggle but don’t give up. Talk to someone, a friend, family member, doctor anyone. Good luck.

When my brother was going through mental issues.

He brokedown and was at home for two weeks basically constantly being traumatised from his thoughts.

Took days off school to stay at home with him and just watching him sit there....fighting himself inside.

Culminated in being told the first night of a musical I was starring in, that he had gone into hospital. Still done the show and thankfully he got better and now he's the best he's ever been

yeahme

Having the priest say the last rites over me, while the doctors tell me I may not wake up again.
Waking up and then being told both my legs have to be amputated,
waking up and doctors telling me that they dont need to amputate but that I will never walk again,
Battling everyday thru pain to stay on course for a chance to walk again,
only for infection to occur, and having to go thru all of the above process .........AGAIN.

The look on the lawyers face as he tells me I can sue hospital for damages,
as I finish his sentence and tell him to go fućk himself ......PRICELESS.

Finally after 2years in a wheelchair, and 1year on sticks ...........being able to walk again.

Then the pain meds addiction, sleeping pills addiction and drink addiction and with that suicide thoughts come to the surface.
Ignoring family friends, looking to drink my cares hoping the drink will kill me as a form of suicide.
Calling my friend up at two in the morning who is half a world away after popping 2 or 3 sleeping pills, ready to pop the rest and say goodnight and goodbye. He managed to keep me on the phone long enough for the pills to take effect and put me into sleep. (Or maybe I was just too scared to take the remainder so I kept talking, I'll never know)

Fast forward a few years later, I am able to walk, I have the best woman in the world, and Ive just started a business and hoping it will go worldwide,
Ive been thru the sh1tt€r and come out the other side..........

so if anybody that reads this and has some problem they cant deal with
Im only a PM away, Im not going to cure you but it may help if you need to talk to a complete stranger about what course of action to take and more importantly to clarify your mind.
As the old tv ad used to say "its good to talk"

If I hadnt made that call when I did, I probably would not be writing this.
So I'd like to offer my time if somebody needs it. Because I KNOW you are thinking clearly, and to everybody else you're thinking clearly, when in fact its something else you're thinking of.

Eric Cartman

running out of smokes, seriously , my life is awesome

I_am_LOST

alexa5x5 wrote: »

I am LOST- I know what you’re going through. I haven’t experienced everything you have but like you my teenage years where hellish. My Mum died when I was a kid, I lost my Dad too (long story) and up until a few years ago my home life was extremely abusive and unhealthy.

During my teenage years especially I couldn’t see a way out, I never thought my life would get better. I existed, that’s the only way to describe my day to day life.

I don’t want to use clichés and say “time heals” but in a way it’s true. For the first time in my adult life (I’m 28) I can say I’m honestly happy, it was a looonnng process but I got here. It didn’t happen over night or over weeks, but years. I don’t know if you talk to anyone, but that’s when things started to change for me, when I opened up to someone about how bad I was feeling. Because I’m an extremely private person it was hard, I put on an act of being normal for so long it was difficult to admit how dark I was inside. But honestly once I did that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I wish I could say that was it, that was all it took but with so many things in life, it was one step forward two steps back.

Once I admitted that I was suffering I realised that I couldn’t do it alone, I spoke to a doctor and got medicinal help. If you feel like that is a route you need to take don’t let anyone ever make you feel bad about it. If you have diabetes you take insulin, if you’ve heart disease you take heart pill....if you’ve depression, in some cases, you need medication. After I got medical help, I took one day at a time, doing little things that I liked doing, reading, watching my favourite movies, exercise...etc. But really one of the most important thing for me was taking to someone I trusted to listen to me and not judge me.

Please, please believe me when I say it can get better for you too. It won’t be easy, some days you will struggle but don’t give up. Talk to someone, a friend, family member, doctor anyone. Good luck.

I'm very sorry to hear what you've been through and thank you for the message. It's great to read all these inspirational stories, as cliche and cheesy as that sounds!

I know everything I should do, I just haven't done it yet! I will get around to it at some stage but right now I don't want to put that strain on my family, who are already dealing with one depressed child. They don't need another! Especially my mother from what she's been through. It would kill her if she knew how depressed I've been over the years.

Anyway, just wanted to say that this is a great thread idea. It's amazing to see so many people going through so much and coming out the other end in one piece!

Celly Smunt

jesus,ray d'arcy would have a field day if you all rang in

padma

Fair play to all the folk who have added to this thread, it takes courage to post in the manner you have. May anyone who reads through these threads gain enough understanding from it to overcome any obstacles they have in life.

Where do I start, I suppose since the topic is the WORST time of your life, I will go to the worst and skip all the other pain that has been around me in my early days.

I do believe fully though that what life throws at us is just enough for us to be able to bear in order that we may learn some life experiences to become a better stronger and more solid person.

In 2000 my best friend went missing. We had been friends for ten years. The problem was that I was the last of his friends to see him, putting me in to the centre spotlight of an investigation. It was a national campaign for a missing person and the attention on me in my local town was too hard for me to deal with.

The family and friends were and still are convinced that I know what happened to him. After two months of searching the country high and low for him or his body I decided enough was enough. The pleas from friends to me for more info on his whereabouts, the psychics who said I know what happened to him. The heartbreaking nature of his families frustrations in not knowing where he was and thinking that I did became too much and led me to walking away to protect my own sanity.

The detectives investigating showing me a warrant to search my house.

The day I was brought in to give a statement to the guards where the detective said at the end of that "if we ever find his body we'll come looking for you".

The 1 hour documentary on t.v where someone acted me in a reconstruction. Where all his past friends gave interviews and I was not asked to take part in the documentary. Truth is I didn't even know a doc was being done on him till it was showed on rte.

That year was very tough for me. I retreated to family support as my friends all despised me for no reason other than the witch hunt that was on. At the least I had cousins I could go for a pint with, though would always meet someone asking me about my missing friend.

In the end of it all some good came out of it, we were on a path to self destruction with drugs and stuff and not living very good, so when this happened I retreated to family where I realised that when the poo hits the fan sometimes they are the only ones left.

To this very day I have problem making lasting friendships and only have a lot of acquaintances and people I get along with. The problem is me, people want to know me better but if they become too close I back off, I've been bitten before and try to avoid it in the future by being more stand offish. What can I say that's just the way it is.

I've had the clarity of mind to walk away and forgive all the people who turned their backs on me. He was my best friend I expected some support from them but the only thing received was accusations. Not even an arm around the shoulder a show of understanding and an offer to go for a scoop. Instead I found myself with no invite to the party, nothing to do on a Saturday night. But sure I had cousins and they looked after me over that year. I understand the families pain and forgive them and ex friends for their callousness at the time.

The worst was when Dad told me what Mum's cancer being "treatable" meant. That was worse than a few months previous when the surgeon told me and Dad that Mum was quite likely to die in the operation to remove the tumour the following day. The following day was great when Mum was recovering after the surgery, it seemed miraculous. No such happy ending overall though but we had 10 months with Mum that we didn't think we'd have.

Must have been worse for Dad, rightly or wrongly I can't see myself putting myself in a position where what happened to him will happen to me. Strange how things effect you.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

estadio

My life has generally has been privileged so i haven't had that many problems. However the worst part of my life was my leaving cert. As a fairly smart guy a lot of expectations were bestowed in me. I worked hard earlier but later cracked under the pressure.
Did fairly well but missed out on my first choice by 15 points. My parents didn't help either.
No one was there to comfort me. It doesn't compare to the bad things that have happened to other people but failing when no one expects you to is difficult especially when their is no one to break the fall.
I am extremely happy now though!

Andre80Johnson

November 1999. The day my father fell two storeys on a building site to a ground full of rubbish, broken blocks and nails. This happened on a saturday morning. The rugby world cup was in effect. I was getting my stuff ready to go back to boarding school the next day. A knock on the front door (Nobody ever knocks on because we all use the back door) and my mam answered. A loud scream followed with my sisters crying. Being 13 and the eldest, I had to console my mam. Dad was in and out of it and alone, we all rushed to him but the journey was the worst experience of my life. It finally hit me that my dad, my hero and inspiration was broken.

Being forced to go back to boarding school the next evening, I never understood why mam made me and I still don't to this day. One of the supervisors on the train had to hold me back as it was leaving the platform. I raised hell all week long because I never got an update on my father till the Thursday. In that time mam had crashed her car outside the hospital, dad was supposed to have an operation.

I caused a lot of problems in school and the boarding so that they would suspend me so I could be at home. When I look back, I'm embarrassed of my actions. Dad never had the operation because of the risks that were involved. He can still walk but his vertebrae is fooked amongst other things. I never got to do the things I wanted with my dad but then neither did my sisters or brother. I knew then I had to become a man and help at home when I could. Dad is going good these days, and so is the rest of my family. I love my dad and I'm forever grateful he never gave up.