Dry Spell

Master of Nothing

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

6 years :eek:

Partizan

Dravokivich wrote: »

er... follow yer own advice?

Absolutley. I have friends over there so I'm off next month.

Though seriously, 6 years. You must have a right forearm on you like Popeye.

parker kent

I don't think 6 years counts as a "spell"!

Phat Cat

6 years is probably the longest I've heard of, but I sure there are lots of people in the same boat for what ever reason. I don't think getting a hooker is the answer though! Maybe a singles holiday would do the trick?

Partizan wrote: »

I have always found it easier to score abroad. I lived for a period of time in EE and most weekends my arse was going up and down like a fiddler's elbow. The dial on the White God factor-ometer just went off the scale. However I found it alot harder to get a sniff of anything here in Dublin. That said I'll be heading off East again soon so the drought will end. Back to Candyland.

That's interesting because when I moved I instantly broke my dry spell and things kicked on from there. Btw I assume EE means Eastern Europe coz the 'White God factor' & heading East sounded like Asia.

So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

beano345

Phat Cat wrote: »

6 years is probably the longest I've heard of, but I sure there are lots of people in the same boat for what ever reason. I don't think getting a hooker is the answer though! Maybe a singles holiday would do the trick?



That's interesting because when I moved I instantly broke my dry spell and things kicked on from there. Btw I assume EE means Eastern Europe coz the 'White God factor' & heading East sounded like Asia.

So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

i think its a hangover from the catholic upbringing sex is still very much taboo in ireland! ive got friends who have gone 6+ years on a dry spell and its not because their ugly they got plenty of action before! maybe its the effort thats required here where in other countries its just a natural thing "i like you,you like me lets go" kinda thing.

DazMarz

Longest I ever went was about 6 months once when I was in my teens. It was totally me, I was in a bit of a depression and wasn't bothered with anything at all.

Currently, it's been about 2 weeks since I did the horizontal mambo, and even then it was just a little fling. I'm not as actively hunting for sex as I was when I was in my late teens, but I still won't turn it down, obviously!!!!

Poor Craythur

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly!

Dude. Seriously, dddduuuudddde. That must've been rough!

Partizan wrote: »

one admitted to being a bit of a bike

You complain about the lack of action in Ireland but then come out with stuff like this. :rolleyes: Women in this country who sleep around are so often spoken of derogatorily, so can you blame them for being reluctant to do so? Were the women you had your weekend encounters with in other countries "bikes"?

beano345

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

have you considered emigrating seriously? a friend of mine was nearly 6 years and then a month ago went to the uk for the weekend.first night their and he ended up in a threesome! im emigrating myself and to tell you the truth i wont be missing the dating scene here:D

Emme

Phat Cat wrote: »

6So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

I don't know, maybe it's the religious factor or because we're too scared of what people will think of us if we admit we want it. From what I can see most people, both male and female, would rather get locked on a night out and then when they're full of Dutch courage approach someone for a drunken shag. Which we all know will probably be a disaster. If women get too many of those they won't be up for anything in a hurry.

Basically, if men and women don't TALK to each other on nights out (not unless they're totally tanked up that is :rolleyes:), how are they supposed to get together any other way?

The double standard seems to apply here as well - if a woman sleeps with a lot of guys she's a slut, if a guy does the same he's a legend. There's too much messed-up thinking around sex in this country. Maybe it's because we're such a small country we have a subconscious fear that we're all related and that's why we're happier to indulge when we travel. I don't know. What I do know is that my best experiences have been with foreign guys. I'd emigrate if I could (a trip abroad earlier this year was a real eye-opener and made me feel like a woman again) but unfortunately I can't. In this country I feel about as sexy as a refuse truck.

There's the f*buddyculture which is ok if that's what you want, but lots of people seem to think that such an arrangement gives them carte blanche not to respect the person they're sleeping with. I think that's a hangover from our repressed Catholic culture. Then again you can't blame Catholicism, a friend has had such an arrangement with a French guy for the best part of a year and he treats her like a queen. France, like Italy, is a Catholic country and they don't seem to have the problems we do.

Sex isn't seen as a normal human need in this country, it's something you either do when you're in a relationship (if either party hasn't let themselves go entirely to the point of being repulsive once they've "bagged" a partner) or when you're too drunk to take responsibility for your actions.

Poor Craythur

Emme wrote: »

Sex isn't seen as a normal human need in this country, it's something you either do when you're in a relationship (if either party hasn't let themselves go entirely to the point of being repulsive once they've "bagged" a partner) or when you're too drunk to take responsibility for your actions.

QFT.

Basically we all just need to get the fúck off this island!

Men can get laid easier.

Women can get laid without fear of being labelled. It's a win-win situation!

parker kent

Irish Catholicism was a different kettle of fish to what was in France or Italy.

Phat Cat

beano345 wrote: »

have you considered emigrating seriously? a friend of mine was nearly 6 years and then a month ago went to the uk for the weekend.first night their and he ended up in a threesome! im emigrating myself and to tell you the truth i wont be missing the dating scene here:D

It worked for me too, I even met my wife abroad

Btw your theory about Irish people being prudish because of their Catholic upbringing seems very plausible. But then again how come countries like Brazil, Italy, Poland etc have booming sex/porn industries and still be considered strict Catholic countries?

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Basically we all just need to get the fúck off this island!

Men can get laid easier.

Women can get laid without fear of being labelled. It's a win-win situation

But I like Irish girls!

parker kent

Phat Cat wrote: »

Btw your theory about Irish people being prudish because of their Catholic upbringing seems very plausible. But then again how come countries like Brazil, Italy, Poland etc have booming sex/porn industries and still be considered strict Catholic countries?

Ireland had a unique situation with regards to the Catholic Church. The problem was not the religion itself per se, but the men who ran Catholicism in Ireland.

Poor Craythur

I do think the tiny population COUPLED with ingrained cultural Catholicism is a causal factor. The other main Catholic countries have much bigger populations.

This is a country the size of a village in many ways. If someone got involved in porn or whatever it WOULD be found out.

parker kent wrote: »

But I like Irish girls!

If I remember rightly, you're the Calvin Harris of boards: you like ALL the girls!

beano345

Emme wrote: »

I don't know, maybe it's the religious factor or because we're too scared of what people will think of us if we admit we want it. From what I can see most people, both male and female, would rather get locked on a night out and then when they're full of Dutch courage approach someone for a drunken shag. Which we all know will probably be a disaster. If women get too many of those they won't be up for anything in a hurry.

Basically, if men and women don't TALK to each other on nights out (not unless they're totally tanked up that is :rolleyes:), how are they supposed to get together any other way?

The double standard seems to apply here as well - if a woman sleeps with a lot of guys she's a slut, if a guy does the same he's a legend. There's too much messed-up thinking around sex in this country. Maybe it's because we're such a small country we have a subconscious fear that we're all related and that's why we're happier to indulge when we travel. I don't know. What I do know is that my best experiences have been with foreign guys. I'd emigrate if I could (a trip abroad earlier this year was a real eye-opener and made me feel like a woman again) but unfortunately I can't. In this country I feel about as sexy as a refuse truck.

There's the f*buddyculture which is ok if that's what you want, but lots of people seem to think that such an arrangement gives them carte blanche not to respect the person they're sleeping with. I think that's a hangover from our repressed Catholic culture.

Sex isn't seen as a normal human need in this country, it's something you either do when you're in a relationship (if the OH hasn't let themselves go entirely to the point of being repulsive) or when you're too drunk to take responsibility for your actions.

lets face it women generally have 3 times as many sexual experiences as men will in their lifetime they get more of an oppurtunity! a 6 year dry spell will do nothing for your confidence as a man. also something a friend said to me recently really sums it up and i think all men have been through this.say your in a nightclub on the dancefloor and a girl keeps rubbing up against you so naturally you think your in there but as soon as you go in for the kill she runs back to her friends laughing.now say a month down the road and the same thing happens but this time the girl actually is interested and all you can think of is the last time and your just really "MEH" dont bother doing a thing dont want the hassle of looking a idiot again.

Phat Cat

parker kent wrote: »

Ireland had a unique situation with regards to the Catholic Church. The problem was not the religion itself per se, but the men who ran Catholicism in Ireland.

I had a rant typed out about the absolutely sicking hypocrisy of the Catholic Church in Ireland, but I deleted it because you've all heard it before and it was totally off topic. That topic really makes my blood boil though! :mad:

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

If I remember rightly, you're the Calvin Harris of boards: you like ALL the girls!

You know I have a friend and she always makes fun of how I seem to fancy EVERY girl.

beano345

Phat Cat wrote: »

It worked for me too, I even met my wife abroad

Btw your theory about Irish people being prudish because of their Catholic upbringing seems very plausible. But then again how come countries like Brazil, Italy, Poland etc have booming sex/porn industries and still be considered strict Catholic countries?

because we really let the catholic church control a lot of aspects of our life here even down to sex and reproducing! i dont think in those countries they had the power they have here were sex was made out to be a dirty thing or a single mother was to be shunned

Raekwon

Poor Craythur wrote: »

QFT.

Basically we all just need to get the fúck off this island!

Men can get laid easier.

Women can get laid without fear of being labelled. It's a win-win situation!

Post of the day!

Poor Craythur

Raekwon wrote: »

Post of the day!

:cool:

parker kent

The whole issue with drinking culture, pub culture and night clubs is my problem with Ireland. I'd love if we had a society where we could just go hang out in a coffee bar and chat to different people. But talking to strangers when getting coffee in the day/early evening just seems to be a taboo here (well not the norm anyway).

I go to Ireland games with a friend of mine and we always laugh at how we go to Starbucks after in Ballsbridge when everybody else goes to the pub.

Raekwon

Longest dry spell I've ever had was just over a year when I was around 23 (I think). It knocked the shít out of my confidence but then I moved away, discovered foreign women and now dry spells don't exist for me anymore :pac:

beano345

Raekwon wrote: »

Longest dry spell I've ever had was just over a year when I was around 23 (I think). It knocked the shít out of my confidence but then I moved away, discovered foreign women and now dry spells don't exist for me anymore :pac:

what i found when i was abroad is the amount of women on their own in bars that if you get talking to them towards the end of the night will just say to you "well are you coming home with me or not" real no s**t approach! needless to say i was somersaulting and backflipping towards the door with my coat waiting! now compare that to here having to jump through hoops pass little tests and all this other crap,id rather sit and drink me pint:D

Phat Cat

beano345 wrote: »

because we really let the catholic church control a lot of aspects of our life here even down to sex and reproducing! i dont think in those countries they had the power they have here were sex was made out to be a dirty thing or a single mother was to be shunned

That's very true, but we are nearly an entire generation removed from that now so why haven't we moved on from all that backwards nonsense?

But in saying Ireland has a hell of a lot of single mothers, so people are obviously having sex, all be it unprotected sex. Maybe that's a throwback to the Catholic Church too? Sure I'll even admit to be embarrassed to buy condoms yet people in other counties wouldn't give a second thought to it.

Poor Craythur

beano345 wrote: »

now compare that to here having to jump through hoops pass little tests and all this other crap,id rather sit and drink me pint:D

You do? :eek: Sometimes I think I'm not an Irish woman at all.

Raekwon

Phat Cat wrote: »

But in saying Ireland has a hell of a lot of single mothers, so people are obviously having sex, all be it unprotected sex. Maybe that's a throwback to the Catholic Church too? Sure I'll even admit to be embarrassed to buy condoms yet people in other counties wouldn't give a second thought to it.

Birth control and contraception can be classified differently though. For example in Sweden they have the lowest teenage birthrate in Europe yet they have one of the highest STD rates, so lots of girls obviously are on the pill yet have unprotected sex.

Poor Craythur

Raekwon wrote: »

Birth control and contraception can be classified differently though. For example in Sweden they have the lowest teenage birthrate in Europe yet they have one of the highest STD rates, so lots of girls obviously are on the pill yet have unprotected sex.

And many Irish women will tell you that they have met with sanctimonious doctors/nurses at some stage in their life when they go looking for the Pill or the morning after pill, especially in rural areas or if you go to your family doctor which would also explain higher single mother pregnancy rates. I have stories! :eek:

beano345

Poor Craythur wrote: »

You do? :eek: Sometimes I think I'm not an Irish woman at all.

the last time i went on a date in this country the girl kept leaning in for a kiss and when id go for it she'd pull away this happened three times before i just walked away now i dont know if this was to test my confidence or what but i dont really feel like grabbing a girl and forcing my tongue down here throat bare in mind i was 27 at the time and it seemed really really childish almost like a power buzz. i didnt kiss a girl for about 2 years after that completely turned me off:mad:

Poor Craythur

beano345 wrote: »

the last time i went on a date in this country the girl kept leaning in for a kiss and when id go for it she'd pull away this happened three times before i just walked away now i dont know if this was to test my confidence or what but i dont really feel like grabbing a girl and forcing my tongue down here throat bare in mind i was 27 at the time and it seemed really really childish almost like a power buzz. i didnt kiss a girl for about 2 years after that completely turned me off:mad:

Head-wrecker. Unfortunately the country is full of them.

beano345

Phat Cat wrote: »

That's very true, but we are nearly an entire generation removed from that now so why haven't we moved on from all that backwards nonsense?

But in saying Ireland has a hell of a lot of single mothers, so people are obviously having sex, all be it unprotected sex. Maybe that's a throwback to the Catholic Church too? Sure I'll even admit to be embarrassed to buy condoms yet people in other counties wouldn't give a second thought to it.

probably going to take more than one generation to get away from it its ingrained in our society though looking at the young people nowadays they definitely seem to be moving away from it. i wouldnt be embarrased to buy condoms though you still get that "we know what your up to their not for blowing up thats for sure" look sometimes

Raekwon

Poor Craythur wrote: »

You do? :eek: Sometimes I think I'm not an Irish woman at all.

He's dead right though.

IMO the dating scene in Ireland is like going for a job interview in Google.

That might seem like a strange comparison, but for anyone that has gone through that process and experienced the Irish dating scene from a male perspective, they will tell you that the two are very similar

Poor Craythur

So, many many "interviews" with usually nothing to show for it at the end?

beano345

Raekwon wrote: »

He's dead right though.

IMO the dating scene in Ireland is like going for a job interview in Google.

That might seem like a strange comparison, but for anyone that has gone through that process and experienced the Irish dating scene from a male perspective, they will tell you that the two are very similar

its gets pretty unreal id be ashamed of my life doing the things some people do.thats why me and my mates have given up on the dating scene here. just have no interest whatsoever,dry spell for all of us:D i know thats going to change when i hit canada though:D:D alot of catching up to do:D

Poor Craythur

beano345 wrote: »

thats why me and my mates have given up on the dating scene here. just have no interest whatsoever,dry spell for all of us:D

But that unfortunately makes the situation worse, in a way. It's not your fault, of course, I can understand why you'd be sick of it all, but the dating scene here is going to judder to a halt the more people do this (if it hasn't already. :P). And the non head-wrecking Irish women among us miss out too then. It's a vicious cycle. THERE IS NO SOLUTION! Oh wait, there is:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=71819398&postcount=61

Partizan

beano345 wrote: »

its gets pretty unreal id be ashamed of my life doing the things some people do.thats why me and my mates have given up on the dating scene here. just have no interest whatsoever,dry spell for all of us:D i know thats going to change when i hit canada though:D:D alot of catching up to do:D

This one is for you mate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p13iQ9DLGE

parker kent

Sucks how a few experiences can ruin your confidence. I was genuinely left heartbroken (as in heart smashed to a million pieces style heartbroken) by a girl. So that explains my dry spell. I still love girls, most of my friends are girls. Just lost my mojo for relationships, moreso than finding random hook-ups. They seem easy to get, but anything more seems a bit harder for me at the minute.

Raekwon

Poor Craythur wrote: »

So, many many "interviews" with usually nothing to show for it at the end?

Bingo!

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

Sucks how a few experiences can ruin your confidence. I was genuinely left heartbroken (as in heart smashed to a million pieces style heartbroken) by a girl. So that explains my dry spell. I still love girls, most of my friends are girls. Just lost my mojo for relationships, moreso than finding random hook-ups. They seem easy to get, but anything more seems a bit harder for me at the minute.

Relationships are hard to get in general in this country and this goes for women too. Women can get laid easier, sure, but relationships are a lot more tricky to find. I don't know why really. Reckon we've all just outgrown this rocky, windswept outcrop we call home. :pac:

London for me later this year, methinks!

beano345

Poor Craythur wrote: »

But that unfortunately makes the situation worse, in a way. It's not your fault, of course, I can understand why you'd be sick of it all, but the dating scene here is going to judder to a halt the more people do this (if it hasn't already. :P). And the non head-wrecking Irish women among us miss out too then. It's a vicious cycle. THERE IS NO SOLUTION! Oh wait, there is:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=71819398&postcount=61

unfortunately thats the way things are going:mad: im 32 now for the sake of having children i have to leave here:D i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads and in a few years they will be just oul lads sitting at a bar wondering were it all went wrong.i dont want to be in that position

beano345

Partizan wrote: »

This one is for you mate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p13iQ9DLGE

i was thinking more this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qip0xbjr0aA

its about an indian reservation in canada where theres more men than women so the ones that dont have girlfriends drink this cheap ass wine called cracklin rosie! hope the same doesnt happen in ireland:D

Phat Cat

beano345 wrote: »

unfortunately thats the way things are going:mad: im 32 now for the sake of having children i have to leave here:D i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads and in a few years they will be just oul lads sitting at a bar wondering were it all went wrong.i dont want to be in that position

Wow! When you put it like that it really seems very depressing indeed :mad:

beks101

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

Poor Craythur

beks101 wrote: »

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

+1000

beano345

beks101 wrote: »

My longest dry spell was about two years, which is funny as I'd consider myself to have a high sex drive. I think the nature of a woman's drive can differ though, as I find the less I have sex, the less I need to have sex. When it's regular, it can never be regular enough!

Since moving to Canada my sex life has just exploded, I found it was the same when I lived in the States a few years ago too. I do wonder about this common success abroad that we all seem to have though.

For me a big part of it is the fact that I am way less inhibited and have no problem instigating it when I'm in the mood, regardless of how well I know or don't know the guy. It's this 'what the hell, who knows me anyway?' attitude, a sort of small-fish-in-a-big-pond sentiment that extends beyond my love life and into other areas too. It's a sense of liberation that I never really felt at home, where there's three degrees of separation and people - both men and women - are far too willing to judge.

Funny thing I found at home too was it was the vocal people who claimed they were open minded and didn't see anything wrong with casual sex who would be the quickest to jump in with their judgements when it came down to it.

funny i always described ireland as one big small town! i never ended up with girls from my town it was always the next town to us maybe its just because we grew up looking at each other.i agree with the sense of liberation and lack of inhibitions when abroad people probably pick up on that too.i tend to be a lot more guarded here. so canadas good eh?:D cant wait

Poor Craythur

beano345 wrote: »

funny i always described ireland as one big small town! i never ended up with girls from my town it was always the next town to us maybe its just because we grew up looking at each other.i agree with the sense of liberation and lack of inhibitions when abroad people probably pick up on that too.i tend to be a lot more guarded here. so canadas good eh?:D cant wait

Yeah, well it was a nightmare contemplating losing your virginity as a teenager in a small town. My friends and I used to fret about it a lot in school. On the one hand, we wanted to just do it, get it out the way, on the other, we knew there was a high chance we'd be labelled as "easy" throughout the school and town if we did. :rolleyes:

parker kent

How much of the success abroad stuff is just the "otherness" Irish have? Our accents are always a big hit and we are just different to the locals. Plus Irish girls are attractive, not a big shock that you'll be popular in other countries, especially when you stand out from the locals. No different to Polish girls in Ireland for example. I wonder what experiences do people from other countries have in Ireland? Does being the "other" work for them here?

Or do we just undergo a psychological change in a different country? Less inhibited because everything is bigger and people don't care. A bit like when people from outside Dublin move their for college? I know I "got around" a lot more when I loved to UCD.

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

How much of the success abroad stuff is just the "otherness" Irish have? Our accents are always a big hit and we are just different to the locals.

Heh, parker, my last boyfriend was British (met him when I lived there) and he didn't really like my accent because he though it more resembled Mrs. Doyle than Dervla Kirwan! So I smiled when I read this.

parker kent wrote: »

Or do we just undergo a psychological change in a different country? Less inhibited because everything is bigger and people don't care. A bit like when people from outside Dublin move their for college? I know I "got around" a lot more when I loved to UCD.

Less inhibitions, for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. More of a "Sure, fúck it, why not?" attitude.

stupidusername

beano345 wrote: »

i feel sorry for my mates that are staying here there all reasonably good looking funny intelligent lads...

Send em this way... :pac:

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Heh, parker, my last boyfriend was British (meet him when I lived there) and he didn't really like my accent because he though it more resembled Mrs. Doyle than Dervla Kirwan! So I smiled when I read this.

Less inhibitions, for sure. Without a shadow of a doubt. More of a "Sure, fúck it, why not?" attitude.

Well my accent is always a big hit :pac: Maybe it is male Irish accents that are preferred? I've been given the "I love that accent" line a fair bit by Americans, Canadians, British, Polish etc. Or maybe the Wicklow Hills produce an unmatched lilt? :pac:

Yeah less inhibitions, less worrying about Mary down the road telling Tom what you were up to on Friday night. A bit like wearing a bikini at the beach in Ireland...what would the neighbours say?!

Note: I don't wear bikinis at the beach :P