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Baby naming trouble

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  • 21-04-2011 7:49pm
    #1
    Big Mouth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭


    Having a bit of hassle with my GF over our newborns middle name.
    Her first name is shortened more up to date version of my mothers and her grandmothers name so we will put the full name on the birth cert, which is totally fine (and she suggested it)

    Now the problem is that her dad wants to have his mothers name, Mary, for the middle name and I don't like it at all and think her full name would be waaaaay too old fashioned, I have mentioned this and we had a big row over the whole thing.

    She says her dad would really like it and because of this she likes it too now, whereas I really don't like it and think as we already named her after her Grandmother and my mother we should pick a middle name ourselves we both like.

    Am I right or wrong?


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    #2
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,436 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    Pick two middle names.


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    #3
    Big Mouth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭Big Mouth


    I suppose thats an idea but I REALLY don't like Mary as a name for my baby!!


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    #4
    edellc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,787 ✭✭✭edellc


    stick to your guns if you dont like it then dont allow it as you pointed out the gf has already gotten what she wanted did her father have any input in making this baby NO then he has no right to have an input into the babys name so what if puts his nose is out of joint its your baby

    also if he is being so intrusive over a name can you imagine how the future will span out put your foot down now or you will end up resenting him in a major way for being the interfering father in law that he is

    me and the OH went to register our little one we are not married and i wanted both our surnames on birth cert he didnt i refused to register the baby until i got my own way if my name hadnt been put on birth cert i would have resented him forever nuff said


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    #5
    Treora
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭Treora


    MGM - this is permanent leverage. As she is your GF and not wife you have few rights over your child. Anytime anything goes sideways all you have to do is say Mary. Make a deal over it, but relent and then be big about it. I mean how often will she use that name.


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    #6
    CK2010
    Closed Accounts Posts: 543 ✭✭✭CK2010


    you dont have to use a middle name so maybe just agree to have no middle name and when/if the child is confirmed she can use mary if she wishes. i took my grannys name as my confirmation name, its never ever used though. apart from when someone asks what my confirmation name is!

    my daughter has no middle name and its not a problem, its quite nice actually just having the surname.

    or you could shorten it to May or else Em, as a compromise.

    i wouldnt agree purely to use it as leverage in future arguments though.


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    #7
    cbyrd
    Registered Users Posts: 3,214 ✭✭✭cbyrd


    Well it's your mam's name and her grandmother's and honestly you never ever use the middle name, unless it's something like Anne Marie. Why not compromise and say you'll get to chose the name of the next baby.. ;) My husband and i did this. . he named the boys and i named the girls. . and we were only boy and girlfriend at the time too.

    The way i looked at it was i had to go through the pregnancy and labour it was only right that i got to pick the name. . might sound a bit selfish but when it came to the last baby he picked the name. We've 2 girls and one boy and another on the way and if it's a boy he picks. . sorted.

    I really don't think it's a big enough issue to start world war 3 over.

    On my 2nd girl i had my heart set on Emily Grace .. but when we looked at her in the delivery room just after she was born decided to change it round to Grace Emily. . suits her much better. But she only ever gets called Grace. . :)


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    #8
    LilMissCiara
    Registered Users Posts: 2,292 ✭✭✭LilMissCiara


    How about an alternative like May, Marie, Molly, Madonna (ok that last one is a joke!)


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    #9
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Or Maisie, that is fab and cute! I love it!
    But no not Mary! Your child won't thank you :):) No offense to anyone! :):)


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    #10
    LordSutch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,078 ✭✭✭✭LordSutch


    Big Mouth wrote: »
    Now the problem is that her dad wants to have his mothers name, Mary, for the middle name and I don't like it at all and think her full name would be waaaaay too old fashioned, I have mentioned this and we had a big row over the whole thing.

    You could possibly use his Mother's 'middle name' instead of Mary? that's what we did.


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    #11
    Dades
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,558 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    Names should be subject to veto.

    Either both like them, or they don't get used. End of story.
    And no other parties should be involved.


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    #12
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Dades wrote: »
    Names should be subject to veto.

    Either both like them, or they don't get used. End of story.
    And no other parties should be involved.

    I completely agree.
    She is YOUR daughter, OP.
    You have to give her a name you like.

    Although I do like the other poster's suggestions about shortening it to something nicer, like May or Em, or even asking what your partner's grandmother's middle name was. You could also use the Irish version of Máire.


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