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How to get over him?..

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  • 03-05-2011 12:31pm
    #1
    castrolracing
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭


    I posted here a few weeks ago that I was seeing a guy that i had fallen in love with. He however didnt feel the same. I told him I needed more than he was prepared to give me and that if he couldnt then I was goin to have to move on. I told him I was leaving the ball in his court and that if he was really interested in having a relationship with me to contact me in the next few days. That was 2 weeks ago, I havent heard from him since. Im in bits... I deleted his number from my fone so that I wouldnt text or call him. I didnt want to pressure him as hes not out. I know now that he obviously doesnt want the same thing as I do. I cant stop thinking about him, what can I do to get over him?
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    #2
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,065 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Move on - go out with friends - find a hobby

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #3
    castrolracing
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭castrolracing


    I wish it was that easy..


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    #4
    Aishae
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,800 ✭✭✭Aishae


    castrolracing wrote: »
    I wish it was that easy..


    its not easy - never is - but thats what works in the long run. keep going and try forget him because you loved him but he didnt want the same thing so you gotta keep moving forward till you find what it is you want


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    #5
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,065 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    castrolracing wrote: »
    I wish it was that easy..

    I never any of that was easy - just what I would advise you do

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #6
    stephen_n
    Registered Users Posts: 12,920 ✭✭✭✭stephen_n


    Time heals all wounds, well except the septic ones you keep picking at. Feel angry, feel sad, feel stupid, feel whatever it is you need to feel at any given moment in time. Just don't let the feelings stop you getting on with your life, get up go to work, go for coffee with friends get pissed do whatever you did before you met him and slowly but surely the feelings will sort themselves out.


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    #7
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,173 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    castrolracing wrote: »
    I posted here a few weeks ago that I was seeing a guy that i had fallen in love with. He however didnt feel the same. I told him I needed more than he was prepared to give me and that if he couldnt then I was goin to have to move on. I told him I was leaving the ball in his court and that if he was really interested in having a relationship with me to contact me in the next few days. That was 2 weeks ago, I havent heard from him since. Im in bits... I deleted his number from my fone so that I wouldnt text or call him. I didnt want to pressure him as hes not out. I know now that he obviously doesnt want the same thing as I do. I cant stop thinking about him, what can I do to get over him?

    I have had basicly the exact same situation as you to deal with! one word for this = time !


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    #8
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else! :D


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    #9
    easychair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 905 ✭✭✭easychair


    Locker10a wrote: »
    I have had basicly the exact same situation as you to deal with! one word for this = time !

    Most adults, whether str8 or gay, have had a similar experience or experiences. It is said unrequited love is the perfect love because it never changes! Someone who is not "out" is not free to pursue a normal gay relationship, and I would be very reluctant to "see" someone who is not out, for that very reason.

    i've heard it said that we are destined to make the same mistakes, with the same outcome, until we learn the lesson we have to learn about ourselves. Maybe the next time you'll have worked out what it was made you choose someone who was not free to return your love, and choose your next love someone who is free to return your love. Then this experience will have been worthwhile as a learning experience.


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    #10
    Davaeo09
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Davaeo09


    Just have to add my two cent's here.

    I have been in the exact same situation, it caused great anxiety and stress in my life and ruined my first year in college. When I eventually realized that the relationship was below what I wanted (a real boy-friend, some one who loves ME and not what's in my pants), but every thing he wanted (no strings) I got out.
    It hurt like hell, he was my first love (of sorts). The first month I spent drinking heavily, and smoking weed as a way of coping. It wasn't until I dropped these, and really made a effort to get back out there and enjoy myself that I started forgetting about him.

    It's 16 month's on now. I've had a fling or two since, but believe me when I say I am happier now than I was with him. And you will too.

    A question people ask themselves allot in this scenario is
    "Is there some one out there who feel's just like me?"
    THERE IS! You just need to be patient, and open to possibilities and "the one" will come knocking.

    Peace :D


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    #11
    castrolracing
    Registered Users Posts: 45 ✭castrolracing


    I know your right, Its just gard to see it that way now, but im goin to give him an ultumatum, its either all or nothing,

    Thanks for all the replies, much appreciated


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