Cost of children, say it's not true!

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

I personally don't know any parent who prioritises themselves over the needs of their children. There are some, I don't doubt it, but I think it's unfair to make a comment that "it's fairly common."

As far as second-hand clothes, what's wrong with them? Most of my children's clothes are preowned, and if I'm honest, so are many of my own clothes. Just b/c it's second-hand doesn't mean it's tatty, and it makes my kids appreciate new all the more when they get it.

Its fairly common among the people i know! especially those i know who are on social welfare! and more so with those on lone parent allowance!

I never had any new clothes as a child, i would never buy my kids second hand ones when i can afford new ones. Many could afford new clothes for their kids (even Dunne's clothes) but they spent on a night out instead! 50 quid getting drunk or 3 trousers and 6 tops for the child from Dunne's!

All depends where ones priorities are!

I'm sure a child's self esteem is higher when they get new clothes.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

All depends where ones priorities are!

I'm sure a child's self esteem is higher when they get new clothes.

I agree re: priorities (as I've said all along). Everyone has their own.

Re: self esteem...really? That one boggles my mind. I grew up wearing my sister's (and sometimes brother's) hami-downs and I never cared about it. We found a way to make anything our own, and I can honestly say I didn't care. We got our own shoes, which we wore until we wore through them, and we went on one annual shop which we got $100 (in the eighties-nineties) to buy whatever undies/jeans/etc we needed.

Sure, if the kid's made to feel less than desirable b/c they're wearing something that had a previous owner, then shame on those who're making them feel that way. Priorities, folks.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

I agree re: priorities (as I've said all along). Everyone has their own.

Re: self esteem...really? That one boggles my mind. I grew up wearing my sister's (and sometimes brother's) hami-downs and I never cared about it. We found a way to make anything our own, and I can honestly say I didn't care. We got our own shoes, which we wore until we wore through them, and we went on one annual shop which we got $100 (in the eighties-nineties) to buy whatever undies/jeans/etc we needed.

Sure, if the kid's made to feel less than desirable b/c they're wearing something that had a previous owner, then shame on those who're making them feel that way. Priorities, folks.

Never went on an annual shop, not even to a second hand store.

All our clothes were got at second hand shops, when i was 19 and had my first my nan sent be a gift turns out the gift was a bag of second hand clothes (yes i was highly insulted and they never went on her) 2 years later my cousin had a baby at 16 she went on a shopping spree with my nan to buy new clothes for the baby. Why the difference? because we were brought up on a shoe string but my cousin was brought up on the silver spoon.

Getting someones old clothes did not make me feel special at all, in this day and age in Ireland would it make anyone feel special?

Yes my self esteem was hit when everyone around me had new clothes and i had mine from a second hand store!


Answer me this
If seconds are that good would you give them as presents? for someones wedding? a birth of a new baby? for a birthday boy or girl?

BostonB

Ayla wrote: »

I'm not sure what you're saying here?

I mentioned the hike b/c you said that "not everyone can carry a heavy baby" - I was just pointing out that (although I know there are exceptions) many people *can* do it, they just chose not to. Obviously that's their choice, but if we're talking about ways to cut costs, paying €60 for a sling vs. €1,000 for a buggy is one way.

I think if you can do a mountain hike with a baby on you back you do not fall into the category of not being able. Its the exact opposite.

You could buy a buggy for €50 in the classifieds. We gave our Graco twin away free I couldn't even get €50 for it, and it was like new. We've had people give us single buggies they were finished with. 1k on a buggy is extreme and is not typical I'd guess.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

Its fairly common among the people i know! especially those i know who are on social welfare! and more so with those on lone parent allowance!

Wow, you know some fairly scummy people so. I know people on social welfare. And some on One Parent Family Payment (no such thing as "lone parents" anymore) and most will struggle to do the best for their kids on the money they have.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

Answer me this
If seconds are that good would you give them as presents? for someones wedding? a birth of a new baby? for a birthday boy or girl?

Well, I suppose I am a strange one, but I don't give (new or otherwise) clothes to anyone for any reason. I don't personally think anything bought means anything, so if I can't make something personalized I don't bother. I would hope for the same in return.

I think if you can do a mountain hike with a baby on you back you do not fall into the category of not being able. Its the exact opposite.

True, but again I was pointing out my husband's bad back (i.e.: the main reason why people say they "can't" use a sling) and the fact that he can use it, and use it for something as strenuous as a hike. Regardless, this is off topic, I'm just trying to highlight that some people assume they can't do something without trying it.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

Wow, you know some fairly scummy people so. I know people on social welfare. And some on One Parent Family Payment (no such thing as "lone parents" anymore) and most will struggle to do the best for their kids on the money they have.

Not they are not scummy, but i feel they do have priorities in the wrong place, in some cases the mothers have been on foreign holidays every year and the kids have stayed behind with their grandparents. 1 though i would count at a very close to scummy and she ended up a social worker in the uk! little do they know that she was drinking 3 or 4 nights a week ( i know cause i babysat for her earning money while i was pregnant so i could buy my baby all nice new things) getting drunk and smoking stuff (taking drugs) and didnt even have a cooker to cook the kids meals (just a camping stove) her kids were poorly dressed yet she always had new clothes.


Tells you how long ago i stopped claiming lone parents (one prarent family payment) yep 8 3/4 years ago me be thinking.

liliq

grindelwald wrote: »

. Answer me this
If seconds are that good would you give them as presents? for someones wedding? a birth of a new baby? for a birthday boy or girl?

i have given them as presents
And happily recieved second hand clothes as presents for myself - and will again when my baby comes. So many people have gorgeous clothes for babies and children- they grow so fast that they only wear them a few times and are still in perfect condition. What's wrong with passing them on and getting good use out of them? I'd put far more stock into using any money myself and my parter have towards family experiences like a holiday.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

Well, I suppose I am a strange one, but I don't give (new or otherwise) clothes to anyone for any reason. I don't personally think anything bought means anything, so if I can't make something personalized I don't bother. I would hope for the same in return.



.

Would you give second hand gifts be they household items or toys as gifts?

Quote:
so if I can't make something personalized I don't bother

So what would you give to a birthday boy/girl or for a wedding gift?

Are you telling me you wouldn't let your child go to a birthday party becasue you couldn't make anything?

Would you give money or buy a present?

I see you answered it very carefully because if you said you bought a new gift it would be hypocritical, you would buy something new for people outside your family but only want hand me downs for the kids, are they not worth more than people outside the family?

cynder

liliq wrote: »

i have given them as presents
And happily recieved second hand clothes as presents for myself - and will again when my baby comes. So many people have gorgeous clothes for babies and children- they grow so fast that they only wear them a few times and are still in perfect condition. What's wrong with passing them on and getting good use out of them? I'd put far more stock into using any money myself and my parter have towards family experiences like a holiday.

Would they be the only present or would you buy soemthing as well?

Ive always bought new stuff as presents, however if i have items that are decent i will ask the person if they want they i will not just arrive and say here is a present. I had a travel cot and i phone my cousin and asked if hse wanted it and she did so i gave it too her, i did not wrap it up and pass it off as a gift, i think there is a difference! aksing if soemone wants something that is yours and you have no need for or going buying something second hand as a gift.

So do you wrap them up and say here is a gift for the little one or do you ask if they want them first?

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

Would you give second hand gifts be they household items or toys as gifts?

If I found something I thought would be appreciated I'd get it.

Would you give money or buy a present?

I've done both, and I apologize for neither. I try to make something for whatever gift is required, but my crafting abilities only go so far and sometimes I have to shop for it. Depending on the event I've given money or store-bought gifts. I always resent doing either, it feels horribly ingenuine, but needs must at times.

you would buy something new for people outside your family but only want hand me downs for the kids, are they not worth more than people outside the family?

Ouch, way to try to put words in my mouth! First, as I explained above, I try firstly to make something, and failing that I'll reluctantly buy something (wherever it happens to be sold). Second, I never said I *only* get seconds for my family - I said that my girls are given clothes & toys from the family and we gladly accept and use them. Same for myself. If they need something that has not been given, we buy it. Why do I even have to define this?

cynder

liliq wrote: »

I'd put far more stock into using any money myself and my parter have towards family experiences like a holiday.

Thats where i would agree with you!

liliq

grindelwald wrote: »

Would they be the only present or would you buy soemthing as well?

So do you wrap them up and say here is a gift for the little one or do you ask if they want them first?

Both... in answer to both questions...
Sometimes I would buy something as well as give a second hand item alone as a present- it would depend on the occasion really! And the items.
If it was something very small I'd probably just ask them if they want it and give it to them.
And it wouldn't always be gifts for little ones... I've happily given and received clothes and furniture.
Don't get me wrong- if something is in bits and non functional, I'm not going to bother using it, but otherwise I don't see why not!!

grindelwald wrote: »

Thats where i would agree with you!

cynder

AYLA

I think thats why im so anti second hand is because that we ONLY had, and yes i recon peole who ONLY have second hand items that their self esteem suffers anyone who hasnt has ONLY second hand stuff doesnt really have a clue what it feels like to be a second class citizen.

All my kids stuff goes to a family who lives 15 miles away, ive never met them they know my sister inlaw, they have 12 or so kids, we have given them everything from beds to tvs to vcrs to videos to barbie dolls to babys toys to a ps1. Not last xmas but the xmas before we gave them 9 black bags full of toys that ours had grown out of. With 12 kids under 16 i dont think they have much money, we never give them clothes though.....

12 kids is one thing, 3 kids is different.

The Big Red Button

grindelwald wrote: »

I think thats why im so anti second hand is because that we ONLY had, and yes i recon peole who ONLY have second hand items that their self esteem suffers anyone who hasnt has ONLY second hand stuff doesnt really have a clue what it feels like to be a second class citizen.

Wow!

We only ever had second hand clothes and toys when we were growing up. We never, ever felt like "second class citizens" because of it! I don't feel like our self-esteem suffered in any way because of it - the things were "new" to us, after all, and we were always happy and very grateful for anything that we received! And sure how is anyone outside the family going to know one way or another anyways?

On the other hand, my youngest sister is a lot younger than the rest of us, and a lot of the clothes and toys she gets are new, as myself and my other siblings and her godparents tend to buy things for her. But if she gets a bag of secondhand clothes from her slightly older cousin, she is every bit as excited about these as she is about new clothes! And rightly so - I'd hate for her to develop some sort of superiority complex, thinking that she's somehow "better" than other children just because her clothes were bought new?

I wouldn't like her running around in tatty old rags, but if the clothes are in good condition it would seem wasteful not to use them, and then pass them on again to another family or to a charity shop if they're still in good condition.

Ayla

My husband is #8 out of 10 kids, and they grew up on what could be perceived as a lower class dairy farm. I'm #3 out of 3 kids, and I grew up in a very middle class working family. Both of our families had to work hard for our money and neither of us had anything to spare. Holidays? Nights out? Bought cars? Yeah right. So I don't think you need to be giving me any lecture on how second hand stuff makes you a second hand person. If you suffered low self-esteem b/c you didn't get anything brand new that's your deal, but don't brush us all with the same paint.

I held down a regular job from the time I was 14 and worked in horse farms/babysitting/waitressing from the time I was 16. I worked all through college (held down a full time chef position in my last year) and busted butt to get where I am today. Like I've already explained I'm happily sacrificing a career path to raise my children, and yes, we still use/reuse and pass on anything possible. I'm proud of that, and my children are not in anyway suffering because of it. To think that I'd need to buy only the newest for them in order for them to feel self-worth, well that's just pathetic.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

I held down a regular job from the time I was 14 and worked in horse farms/babysitting/waitressing from the time I was 16. I worked all through college (held down a full time chef position in my last year) and busted butt to get where I am today. Like I've already explained I'm happily sacrificing a career path to raise my children, and yes, we still use/reuse and pass on anything possible. I'm proud of that, and my children are not in anyway suffering because of it. To think that I'd need to buy only the newest for them in order for them to feel self-worth, well that's just pathetic.

Well i held down a full time job at`14 and paid money to my parents for food and rent, left home at 16 and moved 30 miles away and had a full time job paid rent and electric, bought my house at 25, not a penny hand out from my family or my husbands. We both worked very hard for everything we have.


lucky your kids dont get bullied! Im sure it would hit their self esteem then! Lucky you didnt get bullied but then again you were middle class!

Everything is new for my kids because i dont want them going through what i did. They love it when i arrive home from next/dunnes/m&s/debenhams with a bag of new clothes, or when Santa comes with all new toys or i take them to clarks to get new shoes/runners/ sandals. They dont go round thinking that are better than anyone else, just because they get everything new, they know we work hard for what they have.

My problem is with parents who prioritise drink/going out getting drunk over their kids. If they can afford to go out getting drunk they can afford to buy the kids new clothes/toys its an excuse saying they dont have the money. Thats what i dont like. I think kids are worth more than that.

cynder

chatterpillar wrote: »

Wow!


On the other hand, my youngest sister is a lot younger than the rest of us, and a lot of the clothes and toys she gets are new, as myself and my other siblings and her godparents tend to buy things for her. But if she gets a bag of secondhand clothes from her slightly older cousin, she is every bit as excited about these as she is about new clothes! And rightly so - I'd hate for her to develop some sort of superiority complex, thinking that she's somehow "better" than other children just because her clothes were bought new?

.

As i said before there is a difference of being asked if you wanted something (do you want your cousins dress?) and being bought something from a second hand shop. Would you bring her on a shopping spee to a second hand shop?

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

Wow, you know some fairly scummy people so.

That's exactly the attitude I'm talking about, only with kids its 1000 times worst!

What would you define as Scum?

Is there going to a class distinction here?

Does calling one scum make you feel superior?

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

That's exactly the attitude I'm talking about, only with kids its 1000 times worst!

What would you define as Scum?

Is there going to a class distinction here?

Does calling one scum make you feel superior?

What i referred to as scummy people were those you said bought shoes that hurt their childrens feet for the sake of a bottle of wine or who go on foreign holidays and leave their kids with blistered feet.
Rich or poor, anyone who would do that is scummy.

However, if you're talking about people who buy Dunnes and Pennys instead of Next, M&S and Debenhams, who get the shoes in tesco instead of Clarkes.....well then no, not scummy at all. I don't consider myself scummy and I've never shopped in Next etc for clothes for my child.

As for class distinction? You don't know me! You don't know what kind of way I was raised. I can match your upbringing, and then some. But I don't feel the need to flagellate myself and go without a social life so I can dress my child in the best of the best in case anyone would dare question my ability. I've communion this weekend. Dress is borrowed as is nearly everything else. Bought new shoes in M&S..for €7.50. Lovely white canvas ones. Doing her hair myself and I'm wearing a dress I wore to a wedding last year (which I got in the sales). And she'll look every bit as stunning as every other child there.

I've gotten hand me downs and I've passed on clothes and toys. And I've never enountered someone who would be offended by the offer, nor have I ever been offended by someone offering.
Recycling and all that.

As for calling someone scum and making them feel inferior? No, thats not me and that wasn't my point. It was about people who let their kids suffer so they can enjoy holidays and nights out.
Does it make you feel better to point out who is on welfare or "lone parents" allowance?

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

What i referred to as scummy people were those you said bought shoes that hurt their childrens feet for the sake of a bottle of wine or who go on foreign holidays and leave their kids with blistered feet.
Rich or poor, anyone who would do that is scummy.


As for calling someone scum and making them feel inferior? No, thats not me and that wasn't my point. It was about people who let their kids suffer so they can enjoy holidays and nights out.
Does it make you feel better to point out who is on welfare or "lone parents" allowance?

Lone parent, meaning a single parent with no other income, its still a decent payment it was never a tiny amount. As i also pointed out i was also on lone parent for 3 years because my now husband was away at college, bigger poiint being i lived on the same money as they did and was able to buy all new stuff, I didn't waste my money on a night out, enabling me to buy my daughter decent stuff instead on relying on hand me downs/second hand shops because i could not afford it.

I'm sure anyone called scum would be classed as inferior are you equal to scum????? of course its inferior!

Perhaps you should have said 'scummy behaviour' instead of scummy people!

If ones parents are SCUM then that really rubs off on the kids too, they become SCUM. Do kids really want to play with soemone labled as SCUM?


SCUM : An offensive term for a person or group of people regarded as contemptible or worthless


As for the shoes that would skin the heals, that was about me! So you were really calling my dad scum!

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

Lone parent, meaning a single parent with no other income, its still a decent payment it was never a tiny amount. As i also pointed out i was also on lone parent for 3 years because my now husband was away at college, bigger poiint being i lived on the same money as they did and was able to buy all new stuff, I didn't waste my money on a night out, enabling me to buy my daughter decent stuff instead on relying on hand me downs/second hand shops because i could not afford it.

I'm sure anyone called scum would be classed as inferior are you equal to scum????? of course its inferior!

Perhaps you should have said 'scummy behaviour' instead of scummy people!

If ones parents are SCUM then that really rubs off on the kids too, they become SCUM. Do kids really want to play with soemone labled as SCUM?


SCUM : An offensive term for a person or group of people regarded as contemptible or worthless


As for the shoes that would skin the heals, that was about me! So you were really calling my dad scum!

If a parent makes their child suffer, actually suffer, because they put themselves ahead of the child, then that person is scum imo.

I don't know your dad so I can't say what he did or didn't do. In my case, we had second hand clothes and went hungry often. My mother never spent a penny on herself, all her money went on us. Was she scum. Absolutely not.
My dad drank his wages and didn't care if his kids had food. Was he scum? Absolutely. Didn't mean I was, didn't mean other kids didn't play with us. We were the poorest in our school and we all had friends and were popular, none of us were bullied. We all went on to build decent lives for ourselves and our kids. You are projecting your own upbringing and experiences on everyone who doesn't buy brand new clothes and toys. It isn't always the case that second hand = misery and poor self esteem. Not at all.

Do I think someone who makes their child suffer needlessly is scum and inferior to me. Yeah, I do.

Again, if your perception of depriving a child is that they have clothes from somewhere like Pennys instead of next, or that their parents accept hand me downs, well, your perception is a little off in my opinion.
If we're talking about kids going hungry, cold or in pain so the parents can go out and drink, thats a whole other kettle of fish. Initially I thought you meant kids being neglected so the parents could enjoy themselves. However upon reading back and subsequent posts, it seems you meant materialistic things. So no, these people you were talking about aren't scum although it still baffles me why you needed to point out that they were on social welfare or particularly were single parents on benefits.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

Do I think someone who makes their child suffer needlessly is scum and inferior to me. Yeah, I do.


Again, if your perception of depriving a child is that they have clothes from somewhere like Pennys instead of next, or that their parents accept hand me downs, well, your perception is a little off in my opinion.
If we're talking about kids going hungry, cold or in pain so the parents can go out and drink, thats a whole other kettle of fish.

Where did i say one cant accept hand me downs? When a parent can afford new clothes for their kids but opts to buy from a second hand store then i dont agree with it. If they have money to spend on getting drunk but cant buy a decent pair of shoes for the kids then i dont agree with it. do i think they are inferior or scum because of their choice, NO! I personally dont like it and think the kids deserve more.

Was my dad scum NO, he had many issues, many coming from his extremely bad child hood. If he had a better childhood we would have had a better one, i stopped the family trend and (to a certain degree) I spoil my kids, am i sorry not a hope in hell! They have a way better childhood than i did and im proud i able it to give it to them.

Orion

Let's ease off on the 'scum' debate before it resorts to mere name-calling. This thread is about the cost of parenting not who's daddy did what. Feel free to continue that debate in PM.

We're all friends here - let's keep it friendly; and on topic.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

Where did i say one cant accept hand me downs? When a parent can afford new clothes for their kids but opts to buy from a second hand store then i dont agree with it. If they have money to spend on getting drunk but cant buy a decent pair of shoes for the kids then i dont agree with it. do i think they are inferior or scum because of their choice, NO! I personally dont like it and think the kids deserve more.

Was my dad scum NO, he had many issues, many coming from his extremely bad child hood. If he had a better childhood we would have had a better one, i stopped the family trend and (to a certain degree) I spoil my kids, am i sorry not a hope in hell! They have a way better childhood than i did and im proud i able it to give it to them.

And I don't spoil mine with material things. I don't believe in it. Doesn't mean my daughter is having a bad childhood and will suffer from poor self esteem and be bullied. I accept hand me downs and I buy cheap clothes (note I said cheap, doesn't mean they aren't decent) and I spend money on socialising and going out. I've already stated when I said about you knowing scummy people it was in relation to neglecting a child or making it suffer, not about what they spend on clothes or where they shop.

My daughter also has a fantastic childhood and I don't feel the need to buy everything brand new and expensive and do without things myself just so I can pat myself on the back and congratulate myself on a job well done. I do a great job and no price tag matters in my opinion.

If I can go out and enjoy myself and on occasion put my needs ahead of my daughters, then that makes me happy. And if I'm happy we have a happier household.

Now, to clarify, when I say putting my needs ahead of hers, I mean that she might want a new 3DS even though her own DS is perfectly fine. And I might want a weekend away.
I'm the one working and earning, paying the bills and making the decisions. So I'll choose the weekend away over the new DS.

She's fed, clothed and warm. She gets things for her birthday and Christmas.
And she also has to know she is not the be all and end all in the house. I'm the boss, I'm the decision maker and I get to put myself first too.

I don't see any harm in that. Each to their own.

Oh and

Where did i say one cant accept hand me downs?

You made quite a few references about how you felt about hand me downs. Strong references about how it would affect a child in a negative way. You made reference to how offended you were when you were given second hand clothes for your baby. And as to how giving second hand stuff was not as good as getting new stuff.

I don't get that mind set at all.

I could take €50, go to Next and buy one pair of jeans for my child which she would grow out of in about 3 months.
I could take that same €50 to Pennys and buy a few outfits.
I could take that €50 to a charity shop and buy practically a new summer wardrobe for her.

Your attitude of new = better makes no sense. Charity shops are very picky about what they accept and in fairness, if you hand a child a bag with a new toy in it they won't look for the packaging and receipt to make sure it's new.

Well, they shouldn't anyway. I know most stuff I buy 2nd hand, my daughter isn't even aware. And her stuff that I pass on (yes, sometimes as a gift) is recieved no differently to the newer gifts. I have only one child so I pass all her toys on to my nieces who are a few years younger.
My sister doesn't mind and my nieces certainly don't! They see the toy and that is all that they are concerned with.


Sorry Macros, crossed posts.

Orion

ash23 wrote: »

Sorry Macros, crossed posts.

That's cool. I just don't want this degenerating into a slagging match - which is where it was headed.

BostonB

Its all relative. Someone I know, where both parents work and probably have an joint income of 300k or more a year, said to me once something along the lines of they wouldn't have more than 2 kids as that was all their income allowed to give a decent standard of living to, and it would be unfair to the kids to have more. Pointing out the average family has an income vastly less than that seemed to go over their heads.

Looking back I can see a much clearer picture of my parent financial situation than I was aware of at the time.

Ayla

Wow, I must be up for the worst mother ever award if buying new = happy childhood. My children are presently wearing (1) a dress my mother made for me when I was 4 years old, and (2) a mismatched track suit, the top & bottom of which were both passed down from cousins. I'm currently wearing trousers I purchased 10 years ago, a shirt I got in Dunnes for €1 and a cardie I got in the second hand shop. My eldest is currently play-acting with a dress-up tacky belt that I got from a second hand shop for about €0.20, and the younger girl is bouncing on a spare mattress that we usually keep propped up against a wall.

They don't own a DS/Nintendo/Wii or any sort of tech stuff. They have a couple of buckets of toys, most of which were passed down from other kids and a load of books, some of which came from my own childhood. They spend their days outside & pretending/imagining, and no store-bought stuff could possibly compare.

And you know what? They're happy. There's a bag of clothes that was recently passed down to us which I haven't even gotten to, but they're eagerly awaiting the surprises of what they'll find.

There is so much material waste in this world, and it's senseless not to use & reuse, passing down whenever possible. It is just clothes afterall. My children are learning the value of what they have and appreciating whatever they are given. They do not look tatty (the mismatched track suit & my grundge is great for days in, but we do look presentable when in public ). I would be disappointed with my children if they were "too good" for second hand, or if they thought that having things that were passed down was beneath them.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

]
You made quite a few references about how you felt about hand me downs. Strong references about how it would affect a child in a negative way. You made reference to how offended you were when you were given second hand clothes for your baby. And as to how giving second hand stuff was not as good as getting new stuff.

My point being if a parent can afford money on DRINK AND FAGS they can afford NEW CLOTHES for their kids, i dont know where the 'i cant afford it comes in' (50 quid on a night out and 25 quid on fags, both bad for ones health would be better spent on new clothes for the child be they from dunnes or next) 1 weeks worth could buy a good few clothes for a child! just 1 night out and a couple of boxes of fags (not including the babysitting fee of 30 + euro)

I could take €50, go to Next and buy one pair of jeans for my child which she would grow out of in about 3 months.
I could take that same €50 to Pennys and buy a few outfits.
I could take that €50 to a charity shop and buy practically a new summer wardrobe for her.

you havent been to next have you! jeans dont cost €50 they cost between €12 and €26 , even adult jeans are €26. They cost in or around the same as Dunnes, I do hate penny though a lot of their stuff is horrid, but occasionally they do have something nice in

Your attitude of new = better makes no sense.

Does to me!

If you had the money would you rather spend 2K on a 99 car or 20k on a brand new one (baring in mind you have the money) the new car is going to last longer and have less problems than the old one and would be in better condition, it also makes you feel good driving around in something that brand spanking new. Im not saying you have to buy a BMW or Range Rover a Toyota/Ford/Renault.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

If you had the money would you rather spend 2K on a 99 car or 20k on a brand new one.

I have and would buy an older car and use the money for something else. Like a pension fund, a savings account for the kids, a family trip around the world...

I do not go out, and I almost never spend money on myself. Same is said for my husband. Our kids have all of what they need, some of what they want, and none of what they'll forget. There is always something to spend money on, and new clothing is not a priority for our family.