Cost of children, say it's not true!

Kalimah

Ayla wrote: »

Wow, I must be up for the worst mother ever award if buying new = happy childhood. My children are presently wearing (1) a dress my mother made for me when I was 4 years old, and (2) a mismatched track suit, the top & bottom of which were both passed down from cousins. I'm currently wearing trousers I purchased 10 years ago, a shirt I got in Dunnes for €1 and a cardie I got in the second hand shop. My eldest is currently play-acting with a dress-up tacky belt that I got from a second hand shop for about €0.20, and the younger girl is bouncing on a spare mattress that we usually keep propped up against a wall.

They don't own a DS/Nintendo/Wii or any sort of tech stuff. They have a couple of buckets of toys, most of which were passed down from other kids and a load of books, some of which came from my own childhood. They spend their days outside & pretending/imagining, and no store-bought stuff could possibly compare.

And you know what? They're happy. There's a bag of clothes that was recently passed down to us which I haven't even gotten to, but they're eagerly awaiting the surprises of what they'll find.

There is so much material waste in this world, and it's senseless not to use & reuse, passing down whenever possible. It is just clothes afterall. My children are learning the value of what they have and appreciating whatever they are given. They do not look tatty (the mismatched track suit & my grundge is great for days in, but we do look presentable when in public ). I would be disappointed with my children if they were "too good" for second hand, or if they thought that having things that were passed down was beneath them.

Hear hear!!

ash23

My point being if a parent can afford money on DRINK AND FAGS they can afford NEW CLOTHES for thier kids, i dont know where the 'i cant afford it comes in' (50 quid on a night out and 25 quid on fags both bad for ones health would be better spent on new clothes for the child be they from dunnes or next) 1 weeks work could buy a good few clothes for a child just 1 night out and a couple of boxes of fags (not including the babysitting fee of 30 + euro)

I don't smoke so can't comment there. I do drink though. And I would spend €50 on a night out and still would borrow or buy second hand to save money. I value my own social life and nights out. I work it into my budget and I make no apologies for that. I give up a lot for my child but I am still a woman in my 20s who enjoys nights out. If my child doesn't mind whether her clothes are new, pre worn or borrowed then no harm done.

you havent been to next have you! jeans dont cost €50 they cost between €12 and €26 , even adult jeans are €26. They cost in or around the same as Dunnes, I do hate penny though a lot of their stuff is horrid, but occasionally they do have something nice in

No, I did say I don't shop there. I consider €26 for a pair of jeans for an 8 year old excessive. I don't shop there, I rarely shop in Dunnes either.

Does to me!

If you had the money would you rather spend 2K on a 99 car or 20k on a brand new one (baring in mind you have the money) the new car is going to last longer and have less problems than the old one and would be in better condition, it also makes you feel good driving around in something that brand spanking new. Im not saying you have to buy a BMW or Range Rover a Toyota/Ford/Renault.

I've never owned a new car, not even when I could afford it. Seems like a waste of money to me. I don't really care what I drive once it goes from A to B.

Everyone has different priorities. For you that is new things. For me new things aren't important. I'm happy with older things that look good. Price matters most to me when buying though I will always try to get the best value for what I am paying. For eg I rent a house. I could live smack bang in the middle of town in an apartment for what I pay for my large detached house on the outskirts. but that is because I prioritise space and privacy over convenience. Likewise I prioritise holidays and socialising over buying new clothes and toys and cars.

People are different. But just because I have different priorities and value different things, doesn't mean my child will grow up any less happier than yours.

BostonB

A car is a bad example for a number of reasons. First being new cars may actually be less reliable as they are more complicated and more electrical systems to go wrong.

Also many people have no interest in cars, and will drive their current car until it starts being unreliable. Which is why you see many wealthy people running about in some old merc or volvo.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

Wow, I must be up for the worst mother ever award if buying new = happy childhood. My children are presently wearing (1) a dress my mother made for me when I was 4 years old, and (2) a mismatched track suit, the top & bottom of which were both passed down from cousins. I'm currently wearing trousers I purchased 10 years ago, a shirt I got in Dunnes for €1 and a cardie I got in the second hand shop. My eldest is currently play-acting with a dress-up tacky belt that I got from a second hand shop for about €0.20, and the younger girl is bouncing on a spare mattress that we usually keep propped up against a wall.

They don't own a DS/Nintendo/Wii or any sort of tech stuff. They have a couple of buckets of toys, most of which were passed down from other kids and a load of books, some of which came from my own childhood. They spend their days outside & pretending/imagining, and no store-bought stuff could possibly compare.

And you know what? They're happy. There's a bag of clothes that was recently passed down to us which I haven't even gotten to, but they're eagerly awaiting the surprises of what they'll find.

There is so much material waste in this world, and it's senseless not to use & reuse, passing down whenever possible. It is just clothes afterall. My children are learning the value of what they have and appreciating whatever they are given. They do not look tatty (the mismatched track suit & my grundge is great for days in, but we do look presentable when in public ). I would be disappointed with my children if they were "too good" for second hand, or if they thought that having things that were passed down was beneath them.

It begs the question why we work!

Why do we work? we work to get money, money to pay bills and money buy nice things both for ourselves and our kids, live a good lifestyle to go on holidays.

Its all about materialism even if its second hand! some are to stingy to buy new stuff for thier kids, Others cant afford to buy new stuff.

A child reared on a * silver spoon also values what they have and does appreciate it. Same as you kids value what they have and appreciate it. Just because its new doesn't mean that they dont appreciate it, just because their parents could afford to by them 10 of everything doesn't mean they dont appreciate and value everything the get/got.

*all the ones i know who were raised that way are all very down to earth and value and appreciate everything they own.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

It begs the question why we work!

Why do we work? we work to get money, money to pay bills and money buy nice things both for ourselves and our kids, live a good lifestyle to go on holidays.

I amn't much better off working than I would be on one parent family allowance. I work because I like my job and I didn't like being a stay at home parent when I tried it. Plus I'm hopeful that in the future I can progress my career when my child is older, rather than finding myself back in the workplace after 15/16 years trying to get a job. After all, there will be college to pay for!

Its all about materialism even if its second hand! some are to stingy to buy new stuff for thier kids, Others cant afford to buy new stuff.

And some believe in recycling and re-using and that getting something in good condition for their kids for half the price of a new one, is a good thing as it means the money is spread furthur. It's not about stinginess and I resent that the two options you've given are "can't afford to" and "stingy". I'm neither.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

It begs the question why we work!

Why do we work? we work to get money, money to pay bills and money buy nice things both for ourselves and our kids, live a good lifestyle to go on holidays.

Money to pay bills, yes. Any money we have after is going toward building our house. Holidays are a dream that won't be realized anytime soon.

Some are to stingy to buy new stuff for thier kids, Others cant afford to buy new stuff.

And others just don't prioritise new things.

just because their parents could afford to by them 10 of everything doesn't mean they dont appreciate and value everything the get/got.

*all the ones i know who were raised that way are all very down to earth and value and appreciate everything they own.

That's great, all the people I know who were given anything & everything they wanted were the exact opposite. Spoiled is a word that comes to mind.

bulmersgal

oh god i couldn't imagine putting anything that wasn't new on my baby. I'm not rich currently on lone parent benefit but i'm always looking out for bargains in next and m&s also Tesco. If you go to sales especially final reduction you can get brand new stuff for a €1. I don't like penny's or dunnes as anything i buy there either shrinks or is ill fitting.

I was brought up in a poor area but was always bought new clothes, not loads of new stuff so I kept my things nice and this is what I plan on doing with my child. I remember a girl I went to primary school with her parents use to make her wear second hand clothes and I still remember that 13 years on. Also remember some of her clothes were all tatty looking.

I do bring my stuff to charity shops but have recently started selling the good stuff on ebay. I also ASKED my friend who is due in sept would she like all Elisha winter coats and warm clothes as they were only worn once or twice as it was too warm for them. I told her that if she didn't want them to bring them to charity shop.

I still go out on nights out and buy myself nice clothes every now and again. And don't understand why people feel so proud of themself wearing second hand clothes. I will always put my childs need before my own but if its a case of me buying her another outfit or going on a night out, night out will win. However if her clothes where too small or she needed new shoes that will always come first.

On the cost of rearing child in first few years, even if you are a stay at home mom or dad you will spend money on parent and toddler groups. Baby classes like music, swimming, play classes. I think its important that if children are not going to creche that they do activities where they can meet other children and Elisha does all these things and it roughly cost me about 1000 a year.

Ayla

don't understand why people feel so proud of themself wearing second hand clothes

Tatty second hand is one thing, passed down/good second hand is something completely different. I just got around this evening to going through a bag of clothes we'd recently been given for our girls, and I can tell you our kids are going to think Santa came early this year!

And thinking of it, my mom sends our girls packages from the States in which she sometimes includes clothes that she's picked up from a nearby second hand shop. The clothes are in perfect condition and my mom takes pride in the fact that she only spend a few dollars on each thing. I'm also happy with this...she's spent over $40 posting a package , but if she'd shopped in the high street for the gifts than our girls wouldn't get anything!

I remember a girl I went to primary school with her parents use to make her wear second hand clothes and I still remember that 13 years on.

How sad. For you. That *that's* what you remember about that girl.

It's clothes, people.

bulmersgal

I can understand pride in saying oh I got this on sale in marks for a euro but not from charity shop. Each to there own i suppose.

I don't even get the whole vintage look to me that's just old second hand clothes.

Also my charity shop never checks what clothes you bring as i think they recycle tatty stuff or sell it like the fake door to door collectors do. I never look in the shops beside from running in and leaving stuff and running out. Even then i'm afraid somebody would think i was buying from them. I think because in school people would get picked on and slagged so much if they where seen even near st vincents de paul shops.

capslock88

that original post is hugely inflated if your living in a reasonable world...like holidays 14K, furniture 3K, pocket money 4K and extras...alot of people get on just fine going on very few holidays..ridiculous figure to put on it..ditto pocket money/furniture and the over the top figures for everything else...i'd say there's many the irish child has been reared for well less than that..people need to realise it's possible to live frugally...you can live well enough without being in the lap of luxury all the time...2nd hand is a big option..nothing wrong with it..it's what the majority of the country was reared on..

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

How sad. For you. That *that's* what you remember about that girl.

It's clothes, people.

Kids always remember the odd kids the ones that stand out form the crowd. The ones who are different are usually bullied. Why do you think schools have uniforms? To make everyone equal, so joe soap doesn't go to school in paupers clothes and joe soap doesn't go to school in Tommy Hilfiger clothes.

I will never forget the lad who came to school one day with his PUMP up runners, He stood out because no one in the school had them he was the first (they were all over t.v) and he had them that was a 'WOW' moment. Then everyone seemed to be getting them, and then there was us with are used shoes (didnt even have runners).......

Parents are blind to what kids see.

Ayla

Oh waa, already. Come'on, kids pick on kids for all sorts of reasons. If it's not clothes it's glasses. If it's not glasses it's height/weight. If it's not that it's the ethnicity or religion. In my case, I was ridiculously picked on for years - I was the last man on the totem pole - and they used anything for ammo, be it my name, what I was wearing or what I said.

But as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Trust me, I know the blunt end of bullying - just about everyone does at some point in their life.

I think there's a lot of reverse discrimination happening now that Irish have money - suddenly there's a lot of snobbery & being too good for what's good enough.

ash23

bulmersgal wrote: »

I can understand pride in saying oh I got this on sale in marks for a euro but not from charity shop. Each to there own i suppose.

I don't even get the whole vintage look to me that's just old second hand clothes.

Also my charity shop never checks what clothes you bring as i think they recycle tatty stuff or sell it like the fake door to door collectors do. I never look in the shops beside from running in and leaving stuff and running out. Even then i'm afraid somebody would think i was buying from them. I think because in school people would get picked on and slagged so much if they where seen even near st vincents de paul shops.

to me thats just snobbery. It's all your own issue being overly concerned about what "people might think". Who cares? I often browse charity shops for books, toys etc. Nobody bats an eyelid and some little snot slags my child off because they saw her near a charity shop...well, that would be because of parents like yourself who have that kind of attitude to second hand shops.
It's learned behaviour.

It's quite ironic that you would worry that your child would be picked on for going near a charity shop when it's attitudes like yours, passed down, that result in kids getting picked on for going to charity shops.

I could have millions in the bank and I'd still browse second hand shops and pick up things I liked. I'd still go to the local library and borrow books.
I wasn't brought up to feel ashamed of 2nd hand stuff. Nor is my daughter and thankfully her friends don't seem overly bothered either. This may change as she gets older but I would hope that she will be a strong enough charachter to tell them to cop on.

We don't have to shop in a charity shop. It's a very old fashioned concept that charity shops = poverty and it's passed from generation to generation. I'd have a serious think about that.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

Kids always remember the odd kids the ones that stand out form the crowd. The ones who are different are usually bullied. Why do you think schools have uniforms? To make everyone equal, so joe soap doesn't go to school in paupers clothes and joe soap doesn't go to school in Tommy Hilfiger clothes.

I will never forget the lad who came to school one day with his PUMP up runners, He stood out because no one in the school had them he was the first (they were all over t.v) and he had them that was a 'WOW' moment. Then everyone seemed to be getting them, and then there was us with are used shoes (didnt even have runners).......

Parents are blind to what kids see.

Lol, I remember one kid trying to pick on me because I was poor. Saying I lived in a cardboard box and had no father. Yadda yadda. He wasn't long shutting up because he was ostracised from the class for being a little sh1t.
Back then our parents encourage us to stand up for who we were, rich or poor, and to stand up for others who were being picked on. And we did. Now it seems we must make our kids conform to the bullies and buy expensive shoes and designer clothes in order to make our kids feel good about themselves.

Maybe it's about where you're from, I don't know. i grew up in a small town and I now live in a small town and the attitude here seems to be much the same as it was where I grew up. The kids are great. There's the occasional "mean girl" but I know my daughter and her mates just stand up to her and walk away. There's no issue about who is wearing what brand or who has the most expensive gadgets or shoes. For eg there is the school uniform pinafore, which is crested and costs €50. Half the class have it. Half don't. I buy her pinafores in Tesco for €8. Always have. There has never, in 4 years, been any mention of her or any of the others not having the "proper" uniform by any of the kids.

Times are changing and people are getting wiser about money and are not willing to throw money away on non neccesities.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

to me thats just snobbery.
.

I dont think is snobery, i think the person has a lot of self respect.
Just because someone wants to look good and feel good in new clothes and wants the same for their kids does not merit being called a SNOB.

Look where Bill Cullen came from! Wont see him shopping in a second hand shop.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

Just because someone wants to look good and feel good in new clothes and wants the same for their kids does not merit being called a SNOB.

snob   /snɒb/ Show Spelled
[snob] Show IPA

–noun
1. a person who imitates, cultivates, or slavishly admires social superiors and is condescending or overbearing to others.

Wanting to look good yourself is one thing, being condescending toward others who don't buy new (ie: new = good implies that reused = bad) is the very definition of snob.

Look where Bill Cullen came from! Wont see him shopping in a second hand shop.

Yeah, but I don't think he forgets his roots enough to think that he's better than those who do.


Anyway, whatever, we're not going to see eye-to-eye here & this conversation is going in circles.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

I dont think is snobery, i think the person has a lot of self respect.

Whatever someone wants to do themselves is up to them. But to pass judgement on what others do? Implying there is shame etc. Thats snobbery.

Just because someone wants to look good and feel good in new clothes and wants the same for their kids does not merit being called a SNOB.

Look where Bill Cullen came from! Wont see him shopping in a second hand shop.

Didn't say it did. But implying shame in relation to those who do....thats snobbery. Saying there's no pride in it. That's snobbery.

I very much doubt Bill Cullen would shop in a second hand place. But I doubt he'd express the sentiments issued here about people who do.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

, I remember one kid trying to pick on me because I was poor. Saying I lived in a cardboard box and had no father. Yadda yadda. He wasn't long shutting up because he was ostracised from the class for being a little sh1t.
Back then our parents encourage us to stand up for who we were, rich or poor, and to stand up for others who were being picked on. And we did. Now it seems we must make our kids conform to the bullies and buy expensive shoes and designer clothes in order to make our kids feel good about themselves.

Maybe it's about where you're from, I don't know. i grew up in a small town and I now live in a small town and the attitude here seems to be much the same as it was where I grew up. The kids are great. There's the occasional "mean girl" but I know my daughter and her mates just stand up to her and walk away. There's no issue about who is wearing what brand or who has the most expensive gadgets or shoes. For eg there is the school uniform pinafore, which is crested and costs €50. Half the class have it. Half don't. I buy her pinafores in Tesco for €8. Always have. There has never, in 4 years, been any mention of her or any of the others not having the "proper" uniform by any of the kids.

Times are changing and people are getting wiser about money and are not willing to throw money away on non neccesities.

3 primary schools i went to and that was never the case. In one school the whole class would gang up on the one girl because she was adopted, (i always made friends with the weakest link) so i stuck up for her and for my troubles i got bullied too. In another school there were 3 kids in the class with learning difficulties and i made friends with them again the same thing happen. That was always the case in every school i went to and made me the prime target, sticking up for others and then getting bullied instead, who was i to be sticking up for anyone with my paupers clothes!


Something differnt is happening now you get the poor picking on the rich, (jealousy) there is a child at my daughters school (4th class)who is getting bullied, she has had her hair cut, and head held under the sinks all because of who her mother is, her brother is in my daughters class (5th) and most of the class get on well but they have their own clicks, that girl had a party there a while back and the girls who are bullng her were invited (along with my daughter) and non of the girls would play with the birthday girl so my lady played with her and her brother, the mother thought it might help build bridges but it didnt. The parents of the bullies dont give a rats ass what their kids are doing to this lovely little girl.

Funny on how before it was rich picking on poor and now its the poor picking on the rich.

bulmersgal

Maybe it's different in the country, I'm from inner city Dublin. My parents where never rich, my mother worked in sewing factory. Most my clothes when I was younger was made by her or knitted jumpers. I have some beautiful pictures of me in the nicest clothes and also ones in t-shirts. I like looking at the pretty dresses. I always remember going to town once or twice a year maybe it was more and getting lovely new dresses in dunnes or penny's. I was brought up with pride and a eye for a bargain. I've already bought most of my child's winter clothes in the sales for next to nothing. I never got toys constantly like some kids I got good toys on my birthday and Christmas. I appreciated these toys more and looked after them well. I still have tape player from 13 years ago, that's how well I look after things.

I was brought up never to live beyond my means and I don't if I want something I save for it. Maybe when your from a very poor area, you do care what people think of you. Also fact I'm single parent doesn't help. I now live in lovely area because my parents always tried to improve their lives and not settle for second best. So to me wearing somebody else's clothes is settling and not tryin to improve my life.

I'm not a snob, the reason I remember that girl wad because her knicker's were ripped and I could see bits I didn't want to see. I know this girl has improved her life and went on to college. I can't help what I remember I was a child. I'm not against recycling I use to buy second hand books but found buying them on Internet cheaper and these go through all our relatives as we are book mad.

Also why would I shop in second hand shop when I get things new for a €1.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

The parents of the bullies dont give a rats ass what their kids are doing to this lovely little girl.

Funny on how before it was rich picking on poor and now its the poor picking on the rich.

That more than anything sums it up - kids will do whatever they get away with, and they'll follow the lead of whatever their parental figure is doing.

And it's not the poor picking on the rich, anymore than it's the rich picking on the poor. It's kids being horrible to each other in their own struggle to figure out who they are. It's a timeless problem, it's human and it's cruel. As parents all we can do is give our children the confidence in themselves and help them learn to stick up for themselves.

cynder

ash23 wrote: »

But I doubt he'd express the sentiments issued here about people who do.

That some who buy second hand clothes for their kids, could afford new ones but would rather spend money getting drunk! (or buying fags/drugs)

Got a feeling he would back me up on that one!

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

As parents all we can do is give our children the confidence in themselves and help them learn to stick up for themselves.

And if they do defend themselves they get suspended from school, yet the bully gets away with it because they are poor!

It would be awful to discriminate against the poor person! The rich kid shouldnt of worn new runners!

Ayla

Jasus, are you even listening here? Not everyone who buys second-hand or accepts passed down clothes is drinking/smoking/drugging their money!

This is a choice, and it's something I'm not ashamed of. I am proud of the fact that clothes don't matter that much to my family, that we have other priorites, and that we are comfortable enough in our own skin that we don't really care about the cost of what we use to cover it.

I don't care what anyone wears (new, used or old). What matters to me is how that person treats and acts towards others; you're only as beautiful as your personality, and nothing can make up for that!

cynder

bulmersgal wrote: »

Maybe it's different in the country, I'm from inner city Dublin. My parents where never rich, my mother worked in sewing factory. Most my clothes when I was younger was made by her or knitted jumpers. I have some beautiful pictures of me in the nicest clothes and also ones in t-shirts. I like looking at the pretty dresses. I always remember going to town once or twice a year maybe it was more and getting lovely new dresses in dunnes or penny's. I was brought up with pride and a eye for a bargain. I've already bought most of my child's winter clothes in the sales for next to nothing. I never got toys constantly like some kids I got good toys on my birthday and Christmas. I appreciated these toys more and looked after them well. I still have tape player from 13 years ago, that's how well I look after things.

I was brought up never to live beyond my means and I don't if I want something I save for it. Maybe when your from a very poor area, you do care what people think of you. Also fact I'm single parent doesn't help. I now live in lovely area because my parents always tried to improve their lives and not settle for second best. So to me wearing somebody else's clothes is settling and not tryin to improve my life.

I'm not a snob, the reason I remember that girl wad because her knicker's were ripped and I could see bits I didn't want to see. I know this girl has improved her life and went on to college. I can't help what I remember I was a child. I'm not against recycling I use to buy second hand books but found buying them on Internet cheaper and these go through all our relatives as we are book mad.

Also why would I shop in second hand shop when I get things new for a €1.

Totally agree with you there.

Seems some People will resort to calling others snobs just because they want the best for themselves and thier kids, especially those who were in the circle when you were growing up, when you want to leave that circle and better yourself they start calling you a snob.

Ayla

Alright, enough already. I resent the implication that you're continually making that by not buying everything brand spanking new I don't want the best for my family. That's ludicrous.

I can buy everything new for my kids, or I can accept clothes that are passed down but in perfect condition, then can use the money I would have used to buy clothes on a day out for the family. It's about priorities, and the fact that I'm not too proud to wear hamidowns means more to me than having everything brand new.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

Jasus, are you even listening here? Not everyone who buys second-hand or accepts passed down clothes is drinking/smoking/drugging their money!

This is a choice, and it's something I'm not ashamed of. I am proud of the fact that clothes don't matter that much to my family, that we have other priorites, and that we are comfortable enough in our own skin that we don't really care about the cost of what we use to cover it.

I don't care what anyone wears (new, used or old). What matters to me is how that person treats and acts towards others; you're only as beautiful as your personality, and nothing can make up for that!

By the way i said SOME not all..... thats been a hugh part of this all along....

QUOTE:
I don't care what anyone wears (new, used or old). What matters to me is how that person treats and acts towards others; you're only as beautiful as your personality, and nothing can make up for that

Kids dont see inner beauty! they see whats on the outside!

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

That some who buy second hand clothes for their kids, could afford new ones but would rather spend money getting drunk! (or buying fags/drugs)

Got a feeling he would back me up on that one!

No,rather the implications that people who shop in second hand shops should be ashamed or are somehow second besting their kids and themselves.

I've already stated I shop second hand. And I go out and drink sometimes too. What of it?

And if they do defend themselves they get suspended from school, yet the bully gets away with it because they are poor!

It would be awful to discriminate against the poor person! The rich kid shouldnt of worn new runners!

Eh, I doubt anyone here would say someone being bullied shouldn't stand up for themselves, rich or poor.
Any child can be bullied, for any reason. I'm confused at this turn of events anyway as you stated in previous posts that kids with tatty clothes would suffer low self esteem and be bullied as their parents buy booze instead of new clothes. Now its the kids with the new runners who are the victims and the poorer kids are the ones doing the bullying?

bulmersgal wrote:

Maybe when your from a very poor area, you do care what people think of you. Also fact I'm single parent doesn't help. I now live in lovely area because my parents always tried to improve their lives and not settle for second best. So to me wearing somebody else's clothes is settling and not tryin to improve my life.

Ditto, grew up poor, single parent now etc. I don't feel I'm settling or not improving my life by buying cheaper,second hand clothes or toys or accepting hand me downs. I am doing that by working hard and spending my money as I see fit without bowing to the pressure society puts on us all to have the newest, biggest and best of everything. Thats what got this country into this mess. I bought into it for a while but I see now it's all just a con.

Ayla

grindelwald wrote: »

Kids dont see inner beauty! they see whats on the outside!

You're right, in the modern world they have to learn to overlook the outside & learn to the see inner beauty. They learn by example, and they'll do exactly what their parental figures do. And I know my kids don't care one ounce what someone else is wearing, so I'd say they're already on their way.

ash23

grindelwald wrote: »

Kids dont see inner beauty! they see whats on the outside!

Isn't it our jobs as parents to change that?

I can't comment on anyone elses child but mine and I know she may have materialistic tendencies (what kid doesn't) but she doesn't judge her peers by their clothes and toys. Her friends don't seem to either so I think that comment is a bit overstated. Perhaps it's true of the kids you know and knew. But not of them all.

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

Alright, enough already. I resent the implication that you're continually making that by not buying everything brand spanking new I don't want the best for my family. That's ludicrous.

I can buy everything new for my kids, or I can accept clothes that are passed down but in perfect condition, then can use the money I would have used to buy clothes on a day out for the family. It's about priorities, and the fact that I'm not too proud to wear hamidowns means more to me than having everything brand new.

That wasnt aimed at you it was aimed at the circle i grew up in, everyone of them remained in that circle and because i set off the better my self i was deemed a snob.

I bought a house at 25 when all of them remained in council housing, some people are just jealous of others accomplishments.

Also many days out are free, parks/woods/beaches dont really need to save for them.