Friday Quick'uns

MonkieSocks

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders, all I said was,

“Hurry up for fooks sake, some of us have got homes to go to!”

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Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!
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Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen,

“what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?”

I said, “Thank you, I'll have chicken please”

She replied, “You're having soup you fat git,

I was talking to the Dog!”

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Got myself a new Jack Russel puppy, he's mainly Black and Brown with a
small White Patch, so I've named him Birmingham .
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In an Indian restaurant last night having a meal, waiter came over and
says, “Curry Ok?”

I said, “go on then, just one song then Bugger off”


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I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn
cocktail.

I looked round and this bloke shouts,

“That's just for starters”