Son slaps me

lecorbeau

Hello all,

first time posting,

I have a beautiful 16 month old boy who is full of energy. He is starting to get a bit difficult and will not do anything we tell him, in fact he will do the opposite of we tell him.

He has also starting hitting my wife and I.

Last night I had him in my arms as he was a little upset and overtired.

He slapped my face and I told him not to slap daddy. He did it again so I raised my voice a little and told him its wrong to slap daddy. He slapped me again so I put him down on the ground and pointed at him telling him its wrong to slap.

He started screaming and shaking and he got very anxious.

My wife told me not to pick him but to let him realise he is wrong.

I walked out of the room and he came running after me crying and still shaking. He put his arms out for me to pick him up. I gave in and picked him up, he hugged me and was sobbing now. I hugged him back and explained softly that its wrong to slap daddy and that he shouldnt do it again.

My wife gave out to me for giving in and picking him up but I couldnt leave him standing there crying and sad.

Advice please

Das Kitty

Unfortunately most of them go through this phase, you're lucky you got to 16 months before it happened!

He won't be able to understand not to do something again as his brain isn't developed enough to remember for next time.

What we do when our fella starts slapping is to hold the slapping hand and rub where he was slapping up gently saying "nice mama/dada" a few times. We're basically just stopping him in his tracks and trying to distract him. Sometimes he persists so we put him down and he may have a tantrum which we will try our best to ignore.

Once they're around 2 they can remember the consequence of what they did last time and can learn a bit.

lecorbeau

thanks for the reply.

The slapping and tantrums started a few months ago, but now they are getting worse.

My wife is stronger with him and than me. She says Im too soft and that I let him walk all over me. Hes only 16 months !!

About 2 months ago he slapped my face several times and I lost it and shouted at him. He got very upset and cried alot. He would not look at me for about 3 days. Im serious, if I talked or played with him, he turned his head the other way and he wouldnt let me pick him up. No one believes this happened except my wife and I as we witnessed it.

Can letting him cry and scream and get upset affect him later on ?

Das Kitty

You can't really know how anything will affect them positive or negative. In the grand scheme of things that happen in a person's life, being let cry when having a tantrum isn't going to rate highly in their memories.

Giving a child limits is a gift, it makes them feel safe to know where the boundaries are. However when they're babies they get frustrated easily, I know I usually end up cuddling my fella after a few minutes, you can't really have hard and fast rules with a baby that age, you have to feel your way.

I find it hard not to raise my voice as well and I have done it and I don't like it. It's not like he even understands why I'm shouting, all he knows is Mama is being scary.

I think once he's old enough to be disciplined I'm going to mainly try for positive reinforcement over punishment and see how it goes. If it doesn't work I'll change it again.

Don't be so hard on yourself OP, when it comes to parenting, we're all amateurs, and have to learn as we go.