11 year old worries

jeni

hi there
can anyone give me some advice on my niece
im very worried about her - shes 11 and will be 12 in sept.
in jan she started her period, and she seemed fine about this
but she does have the hormones that go with it - very moody around the time and very emotional (like myself around the time)
in the last 2 months she has piled on the weight and she is very upset about it
she is getting worse by the day - crying, and wont wear certain clothes etc.
i think she is way to young to be going through this
she is very active, karate once a week, football twice a week and she does gymnastics.
my whole family are working on her trying to boost her confidence without being obvious, telling her how well she looks etc but nothing seems to be working shes just getting worse.
any advice for me ?? anyone else been through this
thanks in advance

Sleepy

I might get hung for this but if she's piling on weight she's not burning enough calories related to how many she's taking in...

If you've ruled out the possibility that the weight gain is related to her diet (since her activity levels sound good) it might be worth taking a trip to the doctors. It's certainly far more likely that she's simply eating too much (gorging on chocolate/ice-cream at that time of the month wouldn't surprise me seeing as how often it's portrayed in TV/movies etc.) or different dietary requirements now that her body's maturing (i.e. less fat and carbs, children need higher levels of these than teens / adults).

cynder

My lady is the same age but i have opposite trouble she looses weight (she has health issues that cause it)

However she hates it when she puts the weight back on again even though she isn't fat and isnt overweight, she is very self conscious about her weight.

To stop weight gain cut down on fat/carbs and increase activity. if she has put on weight that is noticeable perhaps it could be medical problem, (just had my lady's thyroid back and its spot on even though white blood count was up her weight loss was put down to illness )

Morag

Girls gain 'puppy fat' when they are going through puberty, they gain weight and start to have thier figures flesh out and then take another growing stretch and usually loose it all again as they become teenagers.

Ayla

A lot of stuff goes on right then at puberty, physically, mentally, emotionally. If the weight's going on and you can rule out poor diet or lack of excercise, and if you're sure there's nothing else going on in the background, then just leave it be. I agree with Sharrow - the body naturally lays down some fat in the "womanizing" process and it could very likely be a temporary stage.

I think the worst thing possible that could be done right now (baring any of the above conditions) is that anyone make a deal of the weight gain. She's likely already feeling self-conscious (teenage years are so traumatic!) and the last thing she needs is anyone pushing the issue.

Instead, as an aunt, take her shopping (like a right-of-passage/coming of age/welcome to womanhood experience). Get her some clothes that she looks good in & feels comfortable in - it's a much more subtle way of getting her in clothes that fit her new figure. Make it a girls' day out, have lunch, get haircuts/manicures, spend loads of time flattering & pampering her. If people in the family are concerned about her they'll likely be willing to contribute money into this event. You'll have some great bonding time w/ her, she'll get a new look & clothes that fit & will feel better about her body.

bulmersgal

I'd agreed with Ayla and Sharrow. Also make sure she is eating healthy and not cutting back on things to much. Worse thing a girl her age could do is start dieting. I know a lot of girls i went to school with when we put on weight would only eating a pack of popcorn and drink diet coke for the whole day. Scary! We had no clue how to lose weight healthy so encourage her to eat fruit, veg and not to cut back on food.

cynder

jeni wrote: »

in the last 2 months she has piled on the weight and she is very upset about it

What sort of weight are you talking about?

got curves?
put on a dress size?
put on 2 dress sizes?



Anything up to a dress size i would think normal over that I would not (im no expert just going on my own body size at that age and my daughters and her friends at school (over 90 girls in 5th and 6th).

Sometimes its down to genetics, what build is her mother?

I remember when i was 11 i got stretch marks on my legs from filling out didn't have a clue what they were, i was a size 6/8 after filling out (and still had no boobs), my lady seems to be going in the same direction.

The Lovely Muffin

Sharrow wrote: »

Girls gain 'puppy fat' when they are going through puberty, they gain weight and start to have thier figures flesh out and then take another growing stretch and usually loose it all again as they become teenagers.

+1.

When I was 11/12 I gained weight, I went to a size 12 and when I was about 16/17 I lost the weight, I didn't go on a diet or do anything to lose the weight it just went naturally.

Aoifums

I remember being that age. Not a good time for me, body wise anyway.
I think hip development and breasts starting to grow freaked me out. I knew what kids' bodies looked like and what adults' look like, but at the start of puberty you are somewhere in the middle and it's just awkward.
If her body has started to develop then that could be a cause of why she doesn't like to wear some clothes. If they draw emphasis to areas where her body has changed (from gaining weight or just puberty in general) then she may feel more self conscious while wearing them.

Monkey61

Aoifums wrote: »

I remember being that age. Not a good time for me, body wise anyway.
I think hip development and breasts starting to grow freaked me out. I knew what kids' bodies looked like and what adults' look like, but at the start of puberty you are somewhere in the middle and it's just awkward.
If her body has started to develop then that could be a cause of why she doesn't like to wear some clothes. If they draw emphasis to areas where her body has changed (from gaining weight or just puberty in general) then she may feel more self conscious while wearing them.

Agree with this. While I also agree with not making a big deal out of the weight gain, I do think it is a parent/relative's responsibility to make sure that their children are eating healthily and that any weight gain is kept an eye on.

I put on some weight around 11/12 and hated it. Constantly hear the "oh it's just puppy fat" remarks, but that doesn't mean that it is just naturally going to fall off. I carried mine around until 15 when I hated the extra 2 stone so much that I took matters into my own hands and started counting calories like a demon.

I lost the weight and was absolutely delighted with my body then, but becuase I hadn't a clue about healthy eating it wasn't sustainable and it lead to me gaining and losing that same 2 stone over and over again until I finally, as an adult got it all figured out.

To be honest, if a child/teenager is unhappy with their weight (and genuinely is overweight), no amount of telling them that they look great and boosting their confidence is going to work. It's great that she is active and that should be encouraged as much as possible, but if her diet is poor, then she is probably not going to shift any excess weight and will very possibly end up gaining a lot more. I'm not sure how much you can do personally, but it would be a good time for the family to look at what kind of food they are keeping in the house and what they are cooking and see where they can go from there.

mymo

My girl is 13 now and went through the same, she put on a little weight but then grew taller and weight stayed the same. She has lost a little recently, and I think its down to her changing her sandwiches for chicken wraps with salad and salsa in(sambo's with mayo were norm before), eating a bit more fruit and veg, and she started drinking a bit of water. This wasn't a diet, she just tasted a wrap for the first time and decided she loves them, may not last long, but as anyone with kids will tell you, if they like it and its healthy its great.
She also goes training 2 evenings a week so started eating fruit as a snack before training and a lighter dinner after.
She is still quite self conscious, and we did find it harder to find clothes for a while but it got easier as she got taller(she's 5'7" or 8 now).
Next do a petite range in their adult dept, if she's under 5'2", good as it suits the curves better than kids clothes.