Is he ready for potty training? Am I?

Mary28

We just moved abroad on Sunday for an 8 week stay. I had planned on waiting till we got home in July to potty train my son who's 2yrs 8mths at the moment. In the past week he has started to take is willy out all the time and play with himself. I have no problem with this in theory but he ends up peeing all over the place cos he just leaves it out all the time. He also takes his nappy off sometimes. So I decided I might as well potty train him.

We have managed to get him to pee in the potty a few times but I'm inclined to think he's more interested in fondling himself than potty training at the moment. As we're renting an apartment I don't want him weeing and pooing on the furniture. He's done this twice already in the past 2 days. I try to get him to sit on a blanket but he moves from couch to couch and it is very hard to get him to stay in one place.

My other son has very bad reflux and between the two I'm sick to death of wiping and washing everything 30 times a day, he's also pulled his nappy off in bed and wet the bed 3 times since Sunday. The baby ends up crawling into my older son's wee and my head is melted from it all. If I thought he was really ready for training I'd persue it but I'm not sure. Also as we are abroad and I'm on my own with a double buggy most of the time if I leave the apartment and the city isn't very buggy friendly I don't know what I could do if we were out and he needed to pee quickly. I wouldn't be able to just go in anywhere for him to pee.

Yesterday he did about 8 wees on the floor/bed/couch and 2 in the potty.
Today he did 3/4 wees and 2 poos on the floor and one in the potty but he had his nappy on for several hours as we were out for a walk & then he had a nap for a few hrs so it was a bit disrupted.

What do you think, is he ready?
Do I need to stay in the apt for a couple of days to get this done once and for all? Am I confusing him by going out for walks & putting his nappy on?
Or should I try to wait until we get home again where it's all more convenient?
I'm not sure I can get him to keep his willy in his pants now though. I'm assuming this is normal too yeah?

Mary28

I think I needed to let off steam the other day as much as looking for help. Not that I got any!!

Anyway he pee'd on the floor once this morning and then pee'd in the potty about 10 times after that so plenty of high fives, we did its & celebratory crackers were had. Hopefully we are almost there!

cynder

Each child is different/ trial and error and find what works for your son.

My boys were 3 1/4 and 3 1/2 before they were fully trained.

Best of luck

DM addict

Sorry you didn't get any earlier advice, hope this helps!

Sounds to me (as a childcare worker) like he's ready for potty training. I know it can be all kinds of a pain in the hole (so to speak!) but if he's pulling at his nappy and is prepared to go in a potty, you're onto a good start.

Possibly getting pull-up-pants style nappies will help him? Give him a chance to fiddle around if he wants to but he can also pull them up when he's done - which he can't do with a regular nappy.

You sound like you know what you're doing with the high fives and reward crackers. Positive reinforcement is very important. I know you're stressed with having the two of them and being abroad, but try not to get too upset with him when he makes a mess. When kids are starting to potty train and get scolded for having a mistake it can often slow down their progress.

As for taking the willy out of the pants - totally normal. He's figured out he has a willy, and is amused by what it does. Don't worry if he's fiddling with it - for a child his age, it's just like scratching your head or something; there's nothing sexual to it, it just feels nice. If he's doing it inappropriately, try teaching him that his willy is a private thing that he shouldn't show in public.

Hope the above helps; GOOD LUCK!

Clearlier

Stickers and a star chart worked wonders with our first. We prepared him for it over a long time because we were travelling quite a bit when we first thought he was ready. Best thing we did though was to read the book 'Potty training in one week' by Gina Ford. I know that her parenting methods are occasionally controversial but she gives you a structure which you can then take and adapt to your own circumstances.

Good luck!

Mary28

Thanks all. I always get paranoid if no one replies to my posts so apologies if 2nd post sounded snotty.

Yeah I think he's ready too. He did great yesterday, one accident until we went out for a walk and he wee'd on daddy's pants when we were sitting outside a cafe. We said nothing, I just brought him to the loo and changed him. We stayed out for another 1hr + and no more accidents. Then today he seemed to take a few steps back and did a few wees on the floor and as we were going out for a few hrs and taking buses and trams my husband and I just couldn't face more accidents so we put his nappy on. Then got home took nappy off and lots more accidents so we're probably just confusing him at this stage. We are going to the zoo tomorrow so will be gone several hrs so I think we'll just put him in nappies again and I'm going to start afresh with him on Monday and at least I can stay in as much as I need to.
My husband works long hrs and doesn't get to see the kids much and he likes to do things at the weekend with them and would hate to sit in all weekend. Plus he gets too stressed when accidents happen when we are out. At least I'll know what I'm at on Monday whereas last week I was in denial.

annetted

hiya, we are potty training our little boy too at the minute. he is 2 and 8 months pretty much like you - getting some in the potty, some on the floor and plenty on us! This is the way we are working it and so far so good. He wears a nappy to bed - then from when he is up in the morning I put him in big boy pants all day. We have been out to shops, McDonalds and a few other places. He has had accidents, I just bring extra clothes where ever we go. So its no big deal, I just bring him off to the loo and get changed. It doesn't bother him at all coz we are grand with it. You have 2 children so if its just the 3 of ye out and about, changing him after accidents might not be that easy. Your hubby should relax thou if your little boy has accidents when ye are out. Its a big learning curve for them.. You are right it probably is confusing him wearing nappies and then sometimes big boy pants in the day. Make a decision that ye can all be happy with - either go for it or maybe leave him till ye get back home. Potty training can be stressful and ye have already made a big change with moving abroad.. Best Wishes

Morag

It could be that you just have to spend a weekend or two at home with them, to make sure that you are not confusing him and that it sticks. It's two weekends out of the rest of your child's life and potty training is important.

gooch777

I am totally with you on your problems my little boy is just gone 3 and is still not trained am starting to go a little mad trying to train him. i have tried everything charts stickers reward elmo dvd everything. i have even talked to the public health nurse and the doctor and there advice was to leave it for a while and try again that he will let me know when he is ready. i am really worried that he will never do it i really feel like i am failing him and letting him down. I just hope to God he will do it soon. If anyone has any other sound advice please please please help

Clearlier

Hi Gooch,

Have you tried reading/following any of the books out there? They can give you a few pointers and most importantly a structure to follow.

More importantly it sounds like you're getting stressed about it. This is easier said that done but don't. You'll almost certainly end up transmitting your feelings of stress to him and it'll probably have a negative reaction. Why not forget about it for a few months, get a couple of books on the subject, decide on a strategy and then stick to it relentlessly. For us, we prepared him by leaving potties in the room/toilet for a while and explaining that this was for him when he was a big boy. When the time was right for us we took him out of creche for a week and that was pretty much it.

I suppose what I'm saying is that we read a few of the theories, decided on the best one for us and then followed through on the plan. What suited us might not suit you but I do think that it's key to be consistent (just been reminded of this by our second child) as a lot of kids struggle when confronted with multiple different verbal and non-verbal messages.

gooch777

hi
i think your right. I am getting stress i have a one year old as well so i have a lot going on. The problem im having is other people is he not trained yet oh you really need to start training him they are suggesting im not even trying when in fact the opposite is true i am trying too hard. You are right im going to buy one of those book and try set a plan in motion. Myself and my husband have a week holidays coming up so i will do it then. Thanks for your advice do you have an book to suggest.
Thanks again

Clearlier

The book we used was 'Potty training in one week' by Gina Ford. Her books are sometimes seen as controversial as she appears to be somewhat controlling. We read the book together, modified her plan slightly to fit in with our lives and then did it.

I think it helped that we had a long lead in period as there was a couple of months between us thinking he was ready and actually doing it (we couldn't find an earlier time where we could take him out of creche for a week) which meant that he was really looking forward to doing it. A star chart was genius for him but might not work for another child.