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I'm thinking of becoming a Scientologist

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    #2
    scooby2791
    Registered Users Posts: 226 ✭✭scooby2791


    Lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.


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    #3
    J. Marston
    Registered Users Posts: 23,171 ✭✭✭✭J. Marston


    Sounds like they've already got you.


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    #4
    KylieWyley
    Registered Users Posts: 547 ✭✭✭KylieWyley


    "And if you just give us your account details, we'll start you on the path to spiritual enlightenment . . ."


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    #5
    Yakult
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,941 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    Do you have much money? They will gladly take it all from you if you do.


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    #6
    ballsymchugh
    Registered Users Posts: 7,937 ✭✭✭ballsymchugh


    just make me a cup of tea before you go.


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    #7
    Karona
    Registered Users Posts: 856 ✭✭✭Karona


    You should read this.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complex:_An_Insider_Exposes_the_Covert_World_of_the_Church_of_Scientology


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    #8
    Fallschirmjager
    Registered Users Posts: 3,341 ✭✭✭Fallschirmjager


    i dont know about you but tom cruise definitely sells it for me...

    isnt he like number 2 in charge now?

    wonder when it make him taller...i guess that is just another couple of million


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    #9
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    When Biggins wakes up, you're fcuked.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rwctlz4zCmE


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCxI1Gl1SXg


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    #10
    Forest Master
    Registered Users Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Forest Master


    J. Marston wrote: »
    Sounds like they've already got you.

    I think he's being sarcastic.


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    #11
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Its no more batsh1t crazy than the other major religions. An interplanetary warlord hiding nuclear bombs in volcanos? well thats just utterly insane, give me virgin births, talking snakes, 72 virgins, all of mankind descending from 2 people,american indians being lost jews, the world coming into existence in a week and malevolant sky wizards.

    New religions have to hit the ground running with the crazy to be able to keep up with the older ones, once you've got a belief system where a man talks to god via a burning bush you've got to go all out to get people interested.


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    #12
    Zahir Salmon Catfish
    Posts: 0 ✭✭ Zahir Salmon Catfish


    krudler wrote: »
    Its no more batsh1t crazy than the other major religions. An interplanetary warlord hiding nuclear bombs in volcanos? well thats just utterly insane, give me virgin births, talking snakes, 72 virgins, all of mankind descending from 2 people,american indians being lost jews, the world coming into existence in a week and malevolant sky wizards.

    New religions have to hit the ground running with the crazy to be able to keep up with the older ones, once you've got a belief system where a man talks to god via a burning bush you've got to go all out to get people interested.

    How about a cosmic Jew who was his own father by a virgin who can enable you to live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from something invisible called your soul that is present because a woman made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree.


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    #13
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.


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    #14
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Zahir Salmon Catfish wrote: »
    How about a cosmic Jew who was his own father by a virgin who can enable you to live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh, drink his blood and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from something invisible called your soul that is present because a woman made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree.

    not to mention that whole supreme creator who routinely wipes cities off the face of the earth, murders newborn children, floods the world he created for the lulz,demands human sacrifice in his name to test faith and just generally acts like a cnut for most of the old testament.


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    #15
    baalthor
    Registered Users Posts: 1,241 ✭✭✭baalthor


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.

    The allegation is that they WILL rob you more than the others ...


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    #16
    Da Shins Kelly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    baalthor wrote: »
    The allegation is that they WILL rob you more than the others ...
    THe Catholic Church has to be one of the richest institutions on earth, infinitely more wealthy than the Church of Scientology. They've been robbing people for centuries. They used to 'sell' places in heaven, for f*ck sake.


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    #17
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    krudler wrote: »
    not to mention that whole supreme creator who routinely wipes cities off the face of the earth, murders newborn children, floods the world he created for the lulz,demands human sacrifice in his name to test faith and just generally acts like a cnut for most of the old testament.
    This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #18
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,159 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    THe Catholic Church has to be one of the richest institutions on earth, infinitely more wealthy than the Church of Scientology. They've been robbing people for centuries. They used to 'sell' places in heaven, for f*ck sake.
    Funny enough they were nearly broke at the end of the 19th century after the loss of the Papal states.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #19
    krudler
    Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Wibbs wrote: »
    This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

    but he loves us...


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    #20
    longshanks
    Registered Users Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    krudler wrote: »
    but he loves us...

    ... And Fritzl loved his kids. Regularly.


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    #21
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    sorry no, you cant use thinking and scientologist in that sentance, its either "Im becoming a scientologist" or "Im thinking" you cant have both


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    #22
    Phoenix Park
    Registered Users Posts: 1,643 ✭✭✭Phoenix Park


    Da Shins Kelly wrote: »
    Sure, go for it. They won't rob you and fool you any more than any other religion.

    and to the best of my knowledge they aren't big on raping young boys and girls either.
    I think you could do worse. Might join myself actually.


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    #23
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    When Biggins wakes up, you're fcuked.
    If I thought the guy was serious, I'd be around to his residence to slap some kop-on on his head! :pac:


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    #24
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    wow I actually thought cruise had an OUNCE of acting ability, but it turns out he is just playing himself in all those movies after watching that. It was like a mix of jerry maguire, the guy from mission impossible, the colour of money and top gun


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    #25
    Hookah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Hookah


    Wibbs wrote: »
    This is the part I never got, even as a child. When people go on about being close to god, I'm thinking WTF why would you want to be close to this guy? He's a murderous unpredictable psychopath in need of constant ego massage. If you were dreaming up the devil you couldn't go far wrong using him as a template. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/God_as_the_Devil

    I prefer the Gnostic cosmology myself, in which Yahweh is a jealous deceiver, intent on keeping humanity from true spirituality.

    Makes more sense.


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    #26
    Leeg17
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,127 ✭✭✭✭Leeg17


    Na na na na na Na na na LEADER


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    #27
    Catari Jaguar
    Registered Users Posts: 6,649 ✭✭✭Catari Jaguar


    You're "thinking"?

    You can say good bye to that once you become a scientologist.


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    #28
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    Leeg17 wrote: »
    Na na na na na Na na na LEADER

    "remember your free to leave at anytime"

    *stands up*

    "can we ask why you want to leave?"

    *sits back down*


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    #29
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7EEOMbBIO8


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCGP-0545EU


    Enough said.


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    #30
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,992 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    South Park can lampoon Scientology with impunity, but you won't see even the slightest oblique reference to them on The Simpsons, because Bart would lose his voice. Nancy Cartwright is a long-standing Scientologist, and is currently campaigning for her Scientology-inspired book to be used in Illinois schools. The book, called "Good Choices", is about building "character" in students, but she denies it's an attempt to teach Scientology in schools:
    Cartwright’s “Good Choices” program — which she has said is based on the book “The Way to Happiness” by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard — was among the curricula a House resolution would have encouraged Illinois teachers to use to fulfill the state requirement that character education be taught. Opening in the voice of her cartoon alter ego, Cartwright touted her program despite knowing the resolution’s sponsor, Rep. Dan Burke (D-Chicago), would be stripping out a reference to it after questions surfaced about its link to Scientology.
    We know how Scientology operates, including the way Hubbard considered it entirely legitimate to cheat and lie to non-Scientologists, as long as it furthers the aims of Scientology. This is how they get things done - but it looks like it's not going to work in this case, thankfully. :rolleyes:

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



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    #31
    Fukuyama
    Registered Users Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Fukuyama


    I have little respect for anyone who believes in any kind of God (witchdoctor, fairies, whatever) these days.


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