6 year old worrying.

babs.jones

Looking for some advice. My 6yo son is having a terrible time (so are we) he is constanly worrying about different things.*
He is an auful worrier anyway but now it's getting very hard for the family to get through. He is worried about death about people killing all his family and what will happen if he dies. Also he worries about fire and the house goin on fire.*
Me and his dad have tried everything we can think of to make him not worry. We explain to facts to him telling him nothing bad is going to happen to any of us or his friends.*
Every night when he goes to bed he has a little crying fit he says he can't get the bad thoughts outa his head. It's getting to the stage that it's nearly 2 hours after he is sent to bed that he only gets asleep.*
Is this normal behaviour for a 6 year old?? Any advise would help

MagicMarker

Do you really need to ask if this is normal behaviour?

You need to bring him to a professional ASAP.

Moonbeam

Where does he get these ideas from? books,tv,video games?
Bring him to your gp.

LadyMayBelle

We all get scared, especially of things we cannot understand. So imagine being 6! Scary, scary world out there, no matter how much love and care you get. You're not sure what's going on in your brain, and your brain isn't ready to understand fully, nor do you have the words. Go get a referral for him to see someone who will be able to help him and you out. There are many reasons why he may be feeling like this, one can speculate all they want but it's best not. Empathise with him..let him know that you can see how scared he is, and that feeling is really big and terrifying. It will reassure him as well.

Foe the meantime, try something like the Huge Bag of Worries book which is simple and I have found massively helpful to even get kids to start opening up a little, and I know many parents I work with have found it a great tool. You may be able to get some community support in the meantime while waiting for a referral to come through to help him thrash these things that are really scaring him out.

Hope you and he'll have a worry free night x

babs.jones

Moonbeam wrote: »

Where does he get these ideas from? books,tv,video games?
Bring him to your gp.

We thought this at first but we went true everything he watched on tv and it's only really nick jnr he watches and there's nothing bad on that really. Also we stopes him from watching or listening to any news bulletins because that's where he was getting some of his ideas from. Have mentioned it to gp the last time I had he at her and she said everybody worrys.
I don't know where else to go. I have a few teacher friends and they say he's normal child.

kezia21

I was like that as a child; bawling crying if my parents went out cause i thought they'd be killed in a car crash and never come home, scared to eat in case I choked after seeing something on the telly about choking etc. and so on.. fast forward to age 24 and i'm still like that, slightly more rational. I would say bring him to a gp who can refer you on, one of my parents is a psychologist so that may have helped me somewhat to think rationally and overcome alot of fears.
Also check your behaviour as parents too as children will pick up on and repeat your anxieties so it may stem somewhat from seeing you or your partner if you are prone to worrying.

Morag

I had that with mine, show him the smoke alarms and how they work, make a plan for getting out of the house. Having a plan makes a big difference.

Some kids are just deep thinkers at that age and when they lie in bed find their minds wandering to such things, playing music for him to fall alseep to or an audio book can work to distract and occupy his mind until he falls asleep.

psycjay

You are doing the right thing by challenging the worries and explaining how the house is safe, and all the steps you take etc.

I would advise you to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a child psychologist. Anxiety is very common and very treatable and psychological methods are proven to be highly affective. The methods employed are similar to what you are doing, challenging the beliefs and providing evidence to counter them. Plus they can give you techniques to aid reducing anxiety too.

It will do not harm going to see a child psychologist; yes, your child's anxiety may go away naturally, and often does, but sometimes it doesn't and as with any intervention, it is better to act now rather than wait.

LadyMayBelle

Absolutley agree with the last poster. These worries are obviously interrupting his (and yours) normal course of the day, week...
Get him to be a bit creative to help you understand how scared he is; draw a scale, use different colours..just try and help him process these worries a little, while seeking outside support for you and him.

For adults often just talking about these eases our fears, but little kids may not have the right words or have the words but not be able to express the extent of them

ash23

My daughter is like this. Such a worrier. She overthinks everything. All you can do really is explain things as best you can.

If he worries about fires, explain the fire alarms, fire station etc.
If he worries about crashes, explain air bags and safety features.

Death is the tricky one because you have to explain that everyone dies but I got around it initially by telling her that old people die and she had loads of years left before she died. She looked for an age so I told her 100.
As she got older she learned that some people die before they are 100 and I had to explain that sometimes it happens. But she was a bit older so it was easier to explain.

She still frets over things like who she will live with if I die, what will happen when she grows up, will robbers break in......

You just have to talk him through it and accept that it's in his nature to worry and find a way of explaining things that makes him feel a bit more secure.

LegacyUser

My little sister is still a worrier (age 23) but when she was small, she wouldn't go to bed - she was afraid of everything, but especially that the pictures on the walls of her room would come alive. She would sit at the bottom of the stairs when she was put to bed until someone came out. My mam used to spend ages sitting in the room with her, explaining why the pictures wouldn't come to life. All the way up, she was explaining everything - why the house wouldn't go on fire, all about a fire plan and the fire brigade, death, burglars, everything. I think that's all you can do, it seems to be fairly normal. As someone else said, you need to find things that will help him cope with the worries, and work through them.

embee

My daughter is the same... perhaps it's something about that age group? She is 5 but is always asking about the "big" themes in life..... She is always asking about death (but not to the extremes of the OP's wee man), she is worryingly very self-critical, saying stuff like "I can't do it, I'm usless" and "I am not pretty".... Now, I spend most of my days affirming her and telling her how great she is, so I do wonder whether the tendency to worry is innate to the person. She asks me a lot about sexuality, and asks me why some boys and girls are gay. She isn't worried about that per se but she is just one of lifes naturally curious children. She's constantly asking questions but she can be reassured in most situations where she is anxious or nervous.

OP, your son sounds like his situation is more acute. A trip to your GP would be of benefit. Best of luck!