Advice: Etiquette when invited to a wedding you wouldn't expect to be invited to.

Bambi2

Hi I'm looking for advice!

I recently received an invite for a wedding of a girl I was once friendly with. We were never great friends but got on well superficially. We haven't seen each other in about 3-4 years (and even then it was a quick coffee or whatever) apart from bumping into each other at the local shop or what have you. Anyway the invite has come in and now I don't know what to do!

A wedding is an expensive day and we wouldn't know a soul at it apart from the bride, having never even met the groom. Is it terrible not to go? And if we don't go do we still have to send a present? How much is the norm if you don't attend?

I wouldnt really want to go either, its a bit strange when you get unexpected invites like that, as you said, weddings are very expensive and in this day and age why would you want to shell out to attend a wedding were you wont know anyone and barely know the bride.

I wouldnt worry about sending a present either, if i received a present from someone i didnt know that well i would be a bit uncomfortable, but thats just me!

xalot

maybe get her a €50 voucher for a local resturant or something but I wouldn't worry about it. Weddings are horrendous if you only know a couple of people there.

MIRMIR82

I got invited to a wedding a couple of years ago by a girl i went to school with- fair enough we were best friends in school, but had lost contact- i could count on one hand the amount of times i've seen her since school. Anyway myself and the OH went, it was very awkward - i knew her family but that was frm years before. We ended up staying for a while after the meal before making excuses and leaving - felt bad leaving, but felt worse being there:(

Dont go - send 50 euro voucher as stated above!!

silja

Maybe I am cheap, but I wouldn't send a voucher, just a nice card with regrets.
The bride and guest are not close, and the bride has made no effort to keep up the friendship over the last few years. To be honest, it feels a bit like she is fishing for presents or to make up numbers for a big church or something.

silja

silja wrote: »

Maybe I am cheap, but I wouldn't send a voucher, just a nice card with regrets.
The bride and guest are not close, and the bride has made no effort to keep up the friendship over the last few years. To be honest, it feels a bit like she is fishing for presents or to make up numbers for a big church or something.

couldnt agree more - why should she fork out on a voucher or any type of present for someone she is not close to? so you get an invite in the post and you are immediately obliged to spend money on that person? c,mon times are hard enough

Toots

silja wrote: »

To be honest, it feels a bit like she is fishing for presents or to make up numbers for a big church or something.

That was kinda the impression I got from reading the OP's post. I reckon send a nice card expressing regrets. TBH, if you were close to the person, I'd say get them a present, but if you barely keep in touch with this girl then just RSVP that you can't go and leave it at that.

Bambi2

Thanks guys for your opinions, I think I'll feel scabby not getting a present for them but I've just gotten engaged now myself and I wouldn't expect to invite them to my wedding or for them to send a gift so yeah, think I'll follow the advice here.