[Writing Contest] - THE ARENA

El Guapo!

alfa beta wrote: »

oh right - so that's how this works - other people challenge hcass (or whoever is the title holder), then both write something and the readers of the pieces decide which is better....

...one question, who sets the topic / title??

The challenger sets the topic. Once the champ accepts, it's game on!

alfa beta

oh ok - seems very weighted towards the challenger, but hey, if that's the way it works...

you up for it hcass?

if you are, I'll throw a title into the pot and we can both stir it round and see who comes up with the goods....

(or if anyone else wants to suggest a title, go for it....a bit of randomness is always fun!)

hcass

alfa beta wrote: »

oh ok - seems very weighted towards the challenger, but hey, if that's the way it works...

you up for it hcass?

if you are, I'll throw a title into the pot and we can both stir it round and see who comes up with the goods....

(or if anyone else wants to suggest a title, go for it....a bit of randomness is always fun!)

Aw crap - I can see my reign coming to an end.

Sure thing - fire away there. Actually can you wait til this evening before you post the topic so we can start from then adn have this evening and tomorrow to write it? Is that ok?

alfa beta

hcass wrote: »

Aw crap - I can see my reign coming to an end.

yeah right..!

those timings sound good to me - will post a topic this evening and then we'll have this evening and tomorrow to get scribbling

(again, if anyone else wants to throw a topic at us just go for it and if there's one or two suggestions during the day today we might opt for one of them)

Agent Weebley

Awesome development! Good luck to the both of you. Since I don't want to step on your toes, I will explain my previous story elsewhere - for the 401 people that want to hear it. I just have no time to squeeze it in right now - and time is money, as they say. Here's a little Cuban to whet your whistle - a little something my Dad posted a while back.

Cigar?

alfa beta

ok - hcass - lets get cracking on this - no topic suggestions by anyone unfortunately - so I thought I take Weebly's previous post and extract a somewhat random word that we can use.

So how about 'whistle' or 'the whistle' if you prefer.

I'll grab a few hours tomorrow and have something posted here by tomorrow night.

if you need to change timescales for any reason just shout.

hcass

Acccepted - so we've 24hrs from now.

Good luck. I love your writing so can't wait to read your story.

alfa beta

sorry - one final thing - is there a word count sorta thing (I know I should read back over this thread, but just thought I'd ask as it would be quicker....thanks!)

hcass

To be honest - I'm not entirely sure myself. I think its approx 600 words but there is a bit of leeway?

coffee_cake

600 or fewer
We won't hang you for 1 or 2 over

El Guapo!

bluewolf wrote: »

We won't hang you for 1 or 2 over

Speak for yourself


*shakes fist

echo beach

hcass wrote: »

To be honest - I'm not entirely sure myself. I think its approx 600 words but there is a bit of leeway?

How many victories have you had without actually knowing the rules?:D
I suppose truly creative spirits don't bother with such minor matters.

hcass

echo beach wrote: »

How many victories have you had without actually knowing the rules?:D
I suppose truly creative spirits don't bother with such minor matters.

That makes me sound like a right ponce!

alfa beta

i was worried about the 600 words thing that's very short

but i see hcass's last winning story ran to nearly 800 - so that makes me a lot more comfortable

i'm happier now

i like leeway

now.....what do i write?......oh i hate blank word documents

coffee_cake

800?
I haven't been paying enough attention to check but I think 800 is certainly pushing it, we did agree on 600

hcass

Das Kitty wrote: »

Just post a topic, wait for hcass to accept the challenge, and go. 24 hours from the point she accepts to write no more than 700 words on the topic.

I knew there was something here that said more than 600 words. I also read somewhere else that a poster can choose not to vote for a person if they think their story is too long. In all honesty I thought the laws around word count in the arena were lenient and just wrote my stories and posted them up. SO long as they weren;t crazy long I wasn't thinking about it too much.

I wasn't being deceitful or sly - I wasn't knowingly cheating I suppose is what I'm saying. I don't even know if I was unknowingly cheating.

Das Kitty

I did think it went from 5 to 700. Not 3 to 600. Whoops!

Sure what of it. It's just a bit of craic.

hcass

Das Kitty wrote: »

I did think it went from 5 to 700. Not 3 to 600. Whoops!

Sure what of it. It's just a bit of craic.

My thoughts exactly!

alfa beta

cool - I'm coming in around 730-ish so that'll do nicely - now to get tweekin...

Turtwig

alfa beta wrote: »

cool - I'm coming in around 730-ish so that'll do nicely - now to get tweekin...

Wait! Now, hold on here a second. Are you admitting to editing the material you're about to produce? :eek:

coffee_cake

hcass wrote: »

I knew there was something here that said more than 600 words. I also read somewhere else that a poster can choose not to vote for a person if they think their story is too long. In all honesty I thought the laws around word count in the arena were lenient and just wrote my stories and posted them up. SO long as they weren;t crazy long I wasn't thinking about it too much.

I wasn't being deceitful or sly - I wasn't knowingly cheating I suppose is what I'm saying. I don't even know if I was unknowingly cheating.

I'm not calling you a cheat! I just meant in future maybe people might stay a bit tighter to it!

But if everyone else doesn't really care or just wants to not vote for a too long story sure leave it at that

Das Kitty

I am soooo good at reading the opening post.

:pac:

hcass

Adam told them about the dog biting him. He wished he hadn’t. They were a bunch of arseholes. All they did was slag him. It was like being in school again.
They laughed at his packed lunches; “Tuna and onion, ye can eat that outside ye smelly git.” They made fun of his sticky out ears, “Captain Kirk’s on the phone, says he’s missing his sidekick!” And they never let him forget the time he came running back from a job without his bicycle. He’d been chased by the same dog that had bit him this morning.

“What the fu*k happened to you?” asked Dave Brogan, one of the senior staff, when he saw Adam’s bloody arm.

“Bloody dog bit me.”

“What dog?”

“I can’t remember. A big one.”

“You can’t remember? Bullsh!t. Come on what dog was it?”

“The one on Elmwood.” He mumbled.

“Not that poodle? The little fluffy one. The one that chased ye before! What’s her name again?”

“I can’t remember. I don’t fu*king care. She’s a vicious little bitch.”

“It’s Fee-Fee.” Shouted one of the lads.

“That’s it, Fee-Fee,” laughed Dave. “Fu*king Fee-Fee, the prize-winning pooch. What’d she do? Lick yer arm til it bled?”

By lunchtime every postman in the place had heard the story. They made fun of him; growling under their breath and making barking noises if he passed by.

He was in the jacks when Dave Brogan came in.

“Here Adam, about that dog problem-“

“Ah fu*k off Dave, will ye. I’ve had enough of it.”

“Seriously, I want to help ye. I’ve had me fair share of bites too. Until I got me hands on one of these whistles.”

Dave took a small keyring out of his pocket. It was a plastic box with a red button on it.

“Ye just push this button and the noise scares away dogs.” He pressed the button to show him.

“I can’t hear anything – are you taking the piss out of me?”

“No. Ye see the whistle is so high pitched that humans can’t hear it but dogs can and they feckin well hate it.”

“I dunno Dave, is this some kind of set up. Fu*king candid camera or some sh!t…”

“ I swear to ye man, I got this off the missus when I came home with a bite off that fu*king Jack Russell on Castletown Park, ye know the little boll*x with the black patch on his eye. His owner’s a wagon an’ all.”

Adam knew the dog and the old hag. He’d worked Dave’s round when he was on his holidays and hated that gaff.

“He didn’t know what hit him when I used this – Ran off, tail between legs. You’d swear I’d booted him up the hole.”

Adam took the keyring and pocketed it. When he got home he asked his daughter to Google dogs and whether they could hear things humans couldn’t. He grinned to himself when she confirmed what Dave had said.

Adam started his shift early the next day. He couldn’t wait to use the button on Fee- Fee. He could hear the poodle barking as turned onto Elmwood Avenue. He stepped down off his bicycle and wheeled it along slowly. He had the keyring in his hand, his thumb on the button, ready to press. As he passed the house the dog came running out of the side gate. Adam watched her as she thundered toward him, baring her sparkling white teeth. He pointed the keyring at her like a laser gun and pressed the button with glee.

Fee-Fee didn’t stop.

“Dave fu*king Brogan, you are a dead man.” Adam pointed the keyring at her again, pressing the button repeatedly.

Still she came at him.


He threw the keyring at her, she caught it in her mouth, swallowing it whole. She leapt at him. He swung his fist. As it met her face he heard a crack. The poodle fell to the ground. Before she had a chance to get up he kicked her in the head.

“Dave Brogan you fu*king prick,” he roared. He looked at the dog whimpering on the ground, and kicked her again. Fee-Fee cried out but Adam didn’t stop.

“You fu*king, lying, prick!” He stamped on the dog’s back and finally she stopped crying. He stood still, catching his breath, before grabbing his bicycle from the ground and cycling off.

alfa beta

The Whistle


Mum’s smiling. Her smile is gentle and kind. Just like her words were before we came downstairs. But I still feel a bit silly. I can’t help it. I look at the cornflakes in front of me. And the milk in the stripy jug. The one she always says ‘be careful’ with. Silly, yes. But glad I told her at the same time.

Dad’s there too. He’s munching his way noisily through some toast. He’s not paying that much attention to me. Or to Mum. He’s already in ‘work-mode’. That’s what Mum calls it. I’m not sure what work-mode is but I know when he’s in it. And I don’t really like it.

Mum’s never in work-mode. She’s always just Mum.

This morning she woke me by tickling my feet. She does that a lot. She said they were sticking out from under the bedclothes. But I don’t think they were. I think she reached in. She was singing one of her funny made-up songs. ‘Good Morning Princess Rose, I’ve come to tickle your toes...’

I giggled and woke at the same time. Her songs make me giggle. Her tickling makes me wake. My name is Rose. I’m seven. Nearly eight.

When she pulled back the curtains I said, ‘Mum?’

She looked at me and said, ‘What is it Princess?’

I swallowed. ‘I think there’s a monster in our house,’

‘Really?’ she said. ‘What makes you think that, honey?’ She smiled. Like I knew she would. Like I wanted her to.

‘Sometimes I hear it in my room. In the middle of the night. And it growls.’

‘Growls?’ She sits on my bed and looks at me. She has blue eyes. I lift myself onto my elbows.

‘Well, maybe not ‘growls’,’ I say, ‘Maybe...‘grunts’.’ I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but I think it’s close.

‘You must be having nightmares Miss. There’s no such thing as monsters you know.’

‘But Mum -’

She puts her finger to her lips. It’s what she does to make me stop talking.

‘When I was a little girl,’ she says softly, ‘I thought there was a monster in my house too. I told my mother - your nan - about it and she gave me a whistle. She told me to put it under my pillow and blow it as loudly as I could if the monster ever came.’

‘And?’ I say.

‘Well, that’s the thing. I never had to blow it.’

‘Oh....Can I have a whistle?’

‘Of course you can’, she says and we go downstairs.

......................


It’s tucked under the pillow. My whistle. It makes me feel safer. It’s new and silver and very, very loud. I practiced blowing it with Mum when we bought it. That was last week. The monster hasn’t come since. I think maybe Mum was right. Monsters mustn’t like whistles.

I’m tired. Night-night.


.......................


There’s something in the room. My eyes flicker open. I know this is not a dream. I know I am not asleep. I am nearly eight. I know stuff.

I don’t move. I wait. I hear it getting closer. It pads like a cat on the carpet. Very slowly. A floorboard creaks. Then it’s climbing onto the bed. I hear its breathing. It’s not grunting yet. That will come later. It’s never been this close before. My hand burrows under the pillow, reaching for the whistle. My fingers touch the cold, sharp metal. I’m trembling. The monster is so near. I can feel its claws on my hair. Really feel them.

I grab the whistle quickly. I must not drop it. I must not drop it. I bring it to my mouth and I blow hard.

The shrill scream shatters the night-time silence.

‘Jesus ****ing hell’ I hear someone shout. I know they’re not nice words. It’s my Dad who’s saying them. He’s in the room already. He was quick. He must have been chasing the monster. I’m glad I have a brave Dad. Even if he uses naughty words.

The lights come on. They’re blinding. My Mum is in the doorway. ‘Are you okay?’ she’s saying to me, ‘Are you okay prin -’

Then she sees Dad.

Something’s wrong. I can tell from her face. From the way her eyes spring open and her mouth drops.

I hope my whistle didn’t frighten her too much. It’s very, very loud.


.......................

FudgeBrace

Sorry if I sound like a complete idiot, but I don't understand the second story ending? I really enjoyed it up to the last few lines, I just don't don't really understand ? Someone tell me I really want to know !

hcass

FudgeBrace wrote: »

Sorry if I sound like a complete idiot, but I don't understand the second story ending? I really enjoyed it up to the last few lines, I just don't don't really understand ? Someone tell me I really want to know !

I PMed ya fudge brace - didn't want to ruin the end of alfa beta's story for others by posting here.

Carra23

FudgeBrace wrote: »

Sorry if I sound like a complete idiot, but I don't understand the second story ending? I really enjoyed it up to the last few lines, I just don't don't really understand ? Someone tell me I really want to know !

Your too innocent ! two good stories but are the dark endings coincidental ?

alfa beta

Carra23 wrote: »

but are the dark endings coincidental ?

absolutely

hey just put it down to great minds thinking alike and all that...

Turtwig

This is a tough one. I'm leaning towards the alfa beat's story but in case that's just recency bias, I'm going to read them tomorrow in reverse order.

alfa beta

oh no - what's going on - yesterday I had three thanks this morning I have two - weebly's disappeared. :eek: