Baby Problem!

BlackEdelweiss

We have 4 young kids so we are no novices at the whole thing, the first 2 were perfect and we thought we could write the book about perfect parenting until the 3rd one came along and I threw my manuscript in the bin as I now realised that what works for one does not mean a damn thing for any other kid. The 3rd guy had colic/reflux and cried 11 hours a day soild for about 7 months and nearly drove us over the edge but the only thing that kept us going was that when he went to bed he slept all night like all the others did, this meant we could face each new horrific day with a fresh, well rested head. He passed that stage and is now the happiest, funniest child I have ever seen. Now comes the main problem, we had out 4th baby 7 months ago, she spent 4 weeks in the special care unit as she was premature but came home, tiny but perfectly healthy. We followed all the usual routines we did with the others like a bath every night before bedtime and for a while it seemed to be working. She started going to sleep earlier and for longer and for a short while she slept all night but never on a fully regular basis. As she got older she started becoming more and more cranky during the day but she still slept from about 8.30 until around 6 or 7 in the morning. As time went by, the crankiness increased and the sleeping decreased, she started waking at about 5 but would still go back to sleep after a bottle. She was in for her 6 month check up with the consultant who said thee crankyness and clingyness was due to separation anxiety, basically she just loves her mother so much she dosent want to be away from her. This was fine and it softened out thoughts about her crying abit as it was sort of cute but her night time routine has continued to get worse. She now wakes at about 12 or 1 o clock, then maybe 2 or 3, if not then 4 o clock and so on like that. She is teething and we give her nurofen for the pain but we cant keep dosing her up with that(can we?). Last night she woke at 3.30 and stayed awake till 5.30 and we are both shattered, I work full time and my wife has to run the house with the 4 kids(2 in school thank god) but it is starting to wear us down. I also have a mild health problem that is not making things any easier.
Can anybody shed any light on why she seems to be going in reverse instead of getting better, we can deal with the crying during the day but the lack of sleep on top of it is starting to become too much. She wont take a dummy either which is a pity as the first 2 loved them and they were great for getting them back to sleep without a bottle.
Any suggestions are welcome.

pickarooney

I don't think 'going in reverse' is really a relevant way to describe the problem. Young kids can go through phases of not sleeping at any age really. We've had this kind of thing at various stages between 6 months and 3 years with our son and again with our daughter. It makes sense if it's happening while she's teething.

Sorry I can't offer any advice on how to deal with it.

Sleepy

The only suggestion I can think of that's any use is coffee.

The unhelpful suggestion is that you might want to re-think how lucky you were with the first 3!

BlackEdelweiss

Yeah I know the title is a bit misleading but it was written after a very long night and not much thought went into it. We we blessed with our first 2 and have always known it, we were far from blessed with our third for the first 9 months but as I said he is now a pleasure. We are always very grateful that all our kids are happy and healthy.
I actually made the decision to give up coffee about a month ago, that decision has been scrapped big time, I have upped my dose if anything.
I know there is not much we can do apart from ride it out and I know nobody can offer any magic cures, I just needed to let off a bit of steam.

Morag

Have you had her checked by your family dr?
Babies can't tell us what hurts and where and if she is in that much pain, I'd consider taking her for a check up, having made note of how much over the counter pain meds you've been giving her.

liliq

Sounds like teething could definitely be part of it, also... has her diet changed? Have you started her on new solid foods that might be a bit heavy for her system just yet, and upsetting her sleep at night? Especially seeing as she was premie... she herself is 7 months old, but her digestive system might not be quite that age if that makes sense!
Maybe she's overtired and needs a longer nap during the day? or the other way around.. maybe her naps during the day are too long and she's not tired enough at night (though I'm not sure how feasible that is when she's still only so young...)

How Strange

Our little lad is 4 months and up until a week and half ago he was a great sleeper. Down at 7.30-8pm, wake between 3-5am for a feed and sleep again for another 3 hours.

A week and a half ago, he started waking earlier and earlier and not sleeping as long and wanting to be fed more often. Then he started waking at 11pm and being wide awake in his cot. I just ignored him (as much as I could, I was still awake but not giving him any attention), kept the lights off and eventually he'd fall back asleep. One night last week it was the same as when we'd just brought him home from hospital; he wanted to feed every 2 hours and I'm breastfeeding so I was completely exhausted.

He was teething quite badly last week and that seems to have eased in the last couple of days and his sleeping patterns are starting to improve again and I'm crossing everything that it stays that way for a while.

I asked a phn about calpol and she said it was fine to give it if he was cranky from teething. She also said to use the teetha sachets and bonjela on his gums during the day.

I've been told by other parents that sleep problems go in cycles depending on lots of developmental phases, teething etc.

I know thats no comfort to you and it was little comfort to me either last week. I almost cried one morning last week because I was so tired and he was awake early and constantly cranky. If you had two kids who slept well then you were very lucky and now I think you've got a 'normal' baby.

littlebug

I would always advise to be careful of assuming teething is the root cause. According to -everybody- my eldest was teething from about 3 months. First tooth arrived at 1 year! That would have been a hell of a lot of calpol had I been depending on it to settle her.
As long as you are happy there is nothing medically wrong then I think it's matter of finding ways of coping with, rather than dealing with the current situation. I think some babies just go through phases....
Is your baby in your bed or in your room? If not have you tried taking her into your bed? While my child would settle quicker if she was with us she still woke and cried and whimpered a lot so both of us would still be exhausted. The only we we coped with long term sleeplessness was to take it in turns to be on duty... ie one parent "on duty" all night with the baby in a different room, while the other parent got a decent nights sleep, then swap the next night.
It won't last forever.
I won't tell you how long our phase lasted

smelltheglove

My first little one never slept the night through and had a routine like yours until she was around 3 or so, drove me insane, especially since I was alone for most of that time so it didnt matter how little sleep I had, I still had to deal with the daily tasks along with working a 3/4 day week.

Fast forward to baba number 2 and early on someone mentioned to me to get some calmomile syrup, now I know it is a sugar based syrup and some people would complain about that but the way I see it, if it was good 20 years ago then surely it is still good now. Anyway, the second loves her sleep but she would have the grouchy times and teething wasnt easy either so when she was uncomfortable we would dip her soother into the syrup and she would quieten down and nod off. My sister had a baby at the same time and would use 2 tubs or more a month maybe whereas we would need no more than one, I only wished someone had told me about it when I had my first baby, would have been a lot more helpful then.

I guess it is something you can try, I know you say she doesnt take a soother, and many would think this is great but you have to have some sanity and if it means getting your child to suck on a dummy then so be it, kids feed of their parents feelings and if you are stressed she may be also. Why not try get a dumy and dip it into some syrup and see how it works, if not then you could go the route I took on baby number one, a couple of pro plus tablets every morning and hope to God I last the day without going insane:o

NextSteps

You've probably tried this but what about carrying her round in a sling during the day and evening? It works well for me as the baby gets more catnaps and is more inclined to sleep at night. It seems to really relax him.

LegacyUser

If you child was premature and you have stared to feed them solids recently can I advise you not to give them potato as it is hard to digest.
I knew a couple who where given this advice a few years ago and did not give the child potato until they were over a year old.
The child was not sleeping or eating much before this. This improved the sleeping and eating.