I am fuming!!

dark crystal

I got a call from my daughter's principle a few hours back, asking me to come and collect my daughter from school, as she was 'black with the dirt' and I would need to take her home and 'put her in the shower'.

Shocked, I asked where this dirt was, and she said her hands and elbows were dirty.

Now, my daughter was staying in her nanny's house last night and I rang her to ask if she had been doing anything particularly messy yesterday evening. She said they had been out in the garden for a while, but she had washed her hands before she went to bed.

Anyway, I went in to the school - mortified - and when I went into the principle's office, she was sitting there quite upset. I went over to give her a hug and asked the principle where this dirt was. My daughter held out her hands and there was a little bit of dirt under her fingernails and a smudge of dried in earth or soil on one of her elbows. Nothing on her actual hands.

I aked the principle, why she didn't just ask her to wash her hands in the bathroom with soap, if it was such a big problem and she said 'sure I'd be here all day'

The poor child is so embarrassed and I don't blame her.

Do you think this sounds reasonable, because I'm racking my brain to think why she would need to be pulled out of school and told to take a shower just because of some residual dirt under her fingernails. She is always clean and tidy, has a freshly laundered uniform and the only problem this woman seems to have is the fingernails and elbow.

Right now, I'm fuming and don't know how to handle the situation. Was the priciple right in her actions - am I overreacting?

RedXIV

Maybe its because I'm a guy and the principal was female but to me, a bit of dirt is nothing to get excited about?

I'd be throwing serious questions about this and asking about it at PTA meetings.

Like you, I think it's a bit unreasonable to take someone out of class because they are "dirty"

dark crystal

RedXIV wrote: »

Maybe its because I'm a guy and the principal was female but to me, a bit of dirt is nothing to get excited about?

I'd be throwing serious questions about this and asking about it at PTA meetings.

Like you, I think it's a bit unreasonable to take someone out of class because they are "dirty"

The more I think about it, the angrier I'm getting.

I'm actually thinking of switching schools in Spetember. There have been numerous stories about this particular principle and her OCD issues, it just seems my daughter was the poor sap who got picked on today.

I'm wondering how hard it would be to get her a place in another primary school over the summer.....

Diddler1977

dark crystal wrote: »

I got a call from my daughter's principle a few hours back, asking me to come and collect my daughter from school, as she was 'black with the dirt' and I would need to take her home and 'put her in the shower'.

Shocked, I asked where this dirt was, and she said her hands and elbows were dirty.

Now, my daughter was staying in her nanny's house last night and I rang her to ask if she had been doing anything particularly messy yesterday evening. She said they had been out in the garden for a while, but she had washed her hands before she went to bed.

Anyway, I went in to the school - mortified - and when I went into the principle's office, she was sitting there quite upset. I went over to give her a hug and asked the principle where this dirt was. My daughter held out her hands and there was a little bit of dirt under her fingernails and a smudge of dried in earth or soil on one of her elbows. Nothing on her actual hands.

I aked the principle, why she didn't just ask her to wash her hands in the bathroom with soap, if it was such a big problem and she said 'sure I'd be here all day'

The poor child is so embarrassed and I don't blame her.

Do you think this sounds reasonable, because I'm racking my brain to think why she would need to be pulled out of school and told to take a shower just because of some residual dirt under her fingernails. She is always clean and tidy, has a freshly laundered uniform and the only problem this woman seems to have is the fingernails and elbow.

Right now, I'm fuming and don't know how to handle the situation. Was the priciple right in her actions - am I overreacting?

That is a disgrace. A bit of dirt isn't going to cause disruption to your daughter or any other childs learning in the school. That is only reason a child should be taken out of the class.

You daughter should have just been sent to wash her hands in the bathroom. It should have been a non issue for the school.

I would be very annoyed. A complete waste of time for you to have to go to the school.

Dee42

By my understanding of the situation as you have outlined it the principle has dealt with the situation appallingly. If there was an issue about your daughters hygiene it should have been dealt with in a sensitive and discreet manner. As it was a case of her having some dirt under her nails and some dirt on her elbow how did such a trivial matter come to the attention of the principle? Surely if she was in class and the teacher noticed she would have quietly advised her to go into the bathrooms and wash her hands?
I can totally understand why you are fuming

reeta

Please dont let this go... I remeber when I was 8 my teacher brought me into every class to show them my dirty hands. It is something I have never forgotten. You are right to be angry !!

Dee42

BTW I would also write a strong letter of complaint to the board of management of the school

padr81

have to say i'd report this woman, there has to be some person over her. Thats a disgrace. Its a pity you didn't get photos of this "dirt" on your phone or something and than report her. Idiots like this have no place running schools.

smelltheglove

I agree with all above, disgraceful. The poor child would have been mortified, and for dirty fingernails. Im not being bad but kids get dirty fingernails all the time, I could send mine to school with clean hands and they can come home manky, clothes and all, kids will be kids. I would definitely bring it up with both the parents association and superiors, be it the hse or whoever would be above the prinicpal. This is over dramatic, even if the child was in a terrible state with un brushed hair and dirty clothes for a first time this is waaaay over the top.

Mothman

I second writing the letter.

You are not over reacting.

You should see my nails now :eek:

Diddler1977

smelltheglove wrote: »

I agree with all above, disgraceful. The poor child would have been mortified, and for dirty fingernails. Im not being bad but kids get dirty fingernails all the time, I could send mine to school with clean hands and they can come home manky, clothes and all, kids will be kids. I would definitely bring it up with both the parents association and superiors, be it the hse or whoever would be above the prinicpal. This is over dramatic, even if the child was in a terrible state with un brushed hair and dirty clothes for a first time this is waaaay over the top.

Agree with all of above.

Possibly the only thing in relation to hygiene that the teacher should have a major issue with is if a child has lice and the teacher sees this.

A bit of dirt never harmed anyone.

And surely the teacher could have turned it in to a learning exercise for all of the children being taught how to clean their hands properly and not just the OP's little girl being singled out.

omen80

The principal sounds like a complete ar*ehole. Children are supposed to get dirty, it's all part of being a child. Surely there's someone you can report this to? Department of Education?

vicwatson

The heartless aul cow !

There have been numerous stories about this particular principle and her OCD issues

Time to go to the Board of management ?

dark crystal

padr81 wrote: »

have to say i'd report this woman, there has to be some person over her. Thats a disgrace. Its a pity you didn't get photos of this "dirt" on your phone or something and than report her. Idiots like this have no place running schools.

She's come home and had a bath now and scrubbed her little nails clean, as she didn't want to get into trouble tommorrow, bless her, although I wish I had taken photo's now.

I remember during the school play earlier this year, some poor little mite vomited with nerves during a song and the principle kept bring up 'the smell of puke' behind the curtains in front of the crowd of parents. As if the girl wasn't mortified enough!

The woman must have issues about hygene that extend beyond the matter of a little dirt under the fingernails. My daughter doesn't even want to go on her school tour tommorrow, she's so embarrassed.

Diddler1977

dark crystal wrote: »

My daughter doesn't even want to go on her school tour tommorrow, she's so embarrassed.

Ah the poor little thing

dark crystal

reeta wrote: »

Please dont let this go... I remeber when I was 8 my teacher brought me into every class to show them my dirty hands. It is something I have never forgotten. You are right to be angry !!

Aw, that's awful!!

My daughter's teacher didn't say a word, though. My daughter was just bringing down her school tour money to the office when the principal spotted it.

I wonder would the education board do anything, given I have no proof how clean or dirty she was at the time - my word against hers and all?

CJhaughey

She sounds like she is out of order.
Schools are like any other place of work, they aren't clinically clean surgeries!
Does that school ever do anything like gardening or outdoor activities?
How do they manage that kind of situation where people actually get their hands dirty?
Write a calm reasoned letter to the Board of Management and ask them to clarify what exactly is the school policy on hygiene. If this isn't an isolated case then maybe you should contact some other parents and find out if they have had issues with the Principal.

paperclip2

The poor little pet, no child deserves to be shamed like that. :mad:

The next step in the food chain would be the Board of Management chairperson. If its a catholic school then thats probably the parish priest. I'd think about sending a letter to the chair & sec of the BOM with a copy sent to the principal. It would be important to have the episode documented as although it seems to take an act god to have a teacher, especially a head teacher, reprimanded its more likely to happen if theres an official complaint made.

Would there be any point in seeking a meeting with the principal without your daughter to let her know how you feel about her handling of the issue? Although, from your post she doesn't seem like the type to take perceived criticism on board.

Hope your little one gets over it soon OP.


EDIT: If your daughter is generally clean and tidy OP, her class teacher would be able to clarify that surely. Its a massive overreaction to a very minor thing on the part of the principal.

slarkin123

Sounds like shes pushing her ocd onto the kids. I would definitely be writing to the board. The woman would pass out if she seen my son. Walking from the car to the gate, he managed to get scruffy. She's over reacting and i feel sorry for any child who comes into contact with her.

tmc86

I don't understand how the headteacher could respond with "sure we'd be here all day" when asked why they didn't just wash her hands in the bathroom.

Surely it is more time consuming to contact the parent, mind the child while they wait for the parent to arrive and then explain to the parent?

I think that the headteacher has abused her position of power here and totally blown it out of proportion. She should be concentrating on running the school and not bits of dirt under fingernails - something that is pretty much expected from young children.

Send a letter voicing your opinion on the matter, let her know how inconsiderate it was to both you and your daughter.

Pete67

Definitely write a calm letter to the Board of Management outlining your concerns. Request a written apology and show it to your daughter so she knows she has done nothing wrong.

dark crystal

Yeah, I think I'll call her this afternoon and ask her why she felt the need to go so overboard and explain how embarrassed my daughter is.

I'm glad to see so many others agree that it was an overreaction on her part, as I was really upset and wondering if this type of school policy advocating sending a child home for such a minor hygene issue, was normal procedure.

Carpenter

Tell the headteacher to come here and see how popular she is now.
It might teach her a thing or two about life.

Dudess

Humiliation is a terrible thing to put a child through - many of us experienced it in school ourselves and know the effect it can have, but would changing schools be a bit drastic? Has she friends there? Definitely flag the principal's unreasonable and unprofessional behaviour, but would changing school be a bridge too far?

Sleepy

I'd go a lot further than a complaint. I'd ask for her resignation.

Any adult who'll make such a mountain out of a molehill and treat a child in such a degrading fashion shouldn't be anywhere near a school. She's clearly unfit to work with children.

dan_d

Not a parent, but does she treat kids who get pen/marker on their fingers, or paint from Art on their hands and clothes, or food from their lunch on themselves in the same manner?

Seems very,very strange. Anyone who knows anything about kids knows that cleanliness is not top of their list of important things and that's totally ok. And she should know that better than anyone.

CJhaughey

dark crystal wrote: »

Yeah, I think I'll call her this afternoon and ask her why she felt the need to go so overboard and explain how embarrassed my daughter is.

Don't call her, write a letter.
She could very well twist your call to say that you rang and verbally abused her.
A letter is documentation and tends to get better results IMO.

Babooshka

CJhaughey wrote: »

Don't call her, write a letter.
She could very well twist your call to say that you rang and verbally abused her.
A letter is documentation and tends to get better results IMO.

Yes but I would call her anyway to make her aware that you're sending a letter. I'd call and keep it very formal, not aggressive, just formal but polite, ask her who she answers to and tell her they'll be hearing from you in writing.

Jeez, there used to be kids in my school with lice jumping out of their heads in the 70's and the teachers were too scared to call their parents (they knew what their parents were like).
A bit of dirt on a child's hands is no reason to call you and I'd say she needs a wake up call.

Noo

Yoghurts were the worst. Monday lunchtime a spillage down my jumper would be guaranteed, then it'd have to stay there all week because my mam didint have enough time to clean and dry my uniform for the next day, and dont get me started on wiping my nose with my sleeves, crunchy sleeves by the end of the week, goodtimes!

OCD much? that one would have suspended me!

Jelly2

Noo wrote: »

Yoghurts were the worst. Monday lunchtime a spillage down my jumper would be guaranteed, then it'd have to stay there all week because my mam didint have enough time to clean and dry my uniform for the next day, and dont get me started on wiping my nose with my sleeves, crunchy sleeves by the end of the week, goodtimes!

OCD much? that one would have suspended me!

Ah, the good old days! When we wore the same clothes, bar underwear, for three days, and then our second outfit for the last two... All handmedowns from older sisters...:)
And then our one good outfit for mass on Sunday.

dark crystal

Well I rang her and questioned why she did what she did and she said she rang because she didn't want the other kids in the class to be saying 'oh look at the dirty child'....absolute bullsh!t.

I asked her why she didn't just ask her to wash her hands in the bathroom and she said it wasn't her responsibility to keep the children clean, or else she would be there all day cleaning them!!

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I told her I was not happy about how she handled the situation and that I believed she totally overreacted, leading to my daughter feeling embarrassed over something completely harmless. She apologised if that's how I felt, but seemed to be doing it just to appease me, not because she was in any way contrite.

I think this woman must come from the cleanliness is next to godliness type brigade and honestly feels she was justified in doing what she did.

I will write a letter to the board of management, just to query the incident and clarify their policies on such issues, but I don't want to make a bigger issue of it in case she takes it out on my daughter in some way. I can see her exaggerating the incident to favour her side of things and then it becomes my word against hers at that stage.

I'll have a chat with my daughter later and see if she's comfortable staying at the school after the summer. There's a good school closer by and she's expressed interest in going there before, so it might be the impetus we need to change.