Teenage councelling - Mother refusing

willow tree

lucy,
i've no advice, i just hope that you get the help you need with this. i just wanted to say that its great that you and the dad are not ignoring this as that will help the child in the long run. im feel sorry for ye that the powers that be are making it so diffucult for the child to get the help she needs... hopefully someone here can offer more advice... good luck, what you are doing is great

James Jones

lucy2010 wrote: »

On Monday after handing over a scary amount of money he advised he needed mums consent to continue.

He shouldn't have taken the money as there was obviously a problem getting the joint consent so ask for the money back and try making an appointment with a similar service in
the North, where Section 2 (7) of the Children Act 1989 states that

Where more than one person has parental responsibility for a child, each of them may act alone and without the other (or others) in meeting that responsibility; but nothing in this Part shall be taken to affect the operation of any enactment which requires the consent of more than one person in a matter affecting the child.

The 2nd part of the sentence might prevent you from taking the action you believe is necessary but you won't know unless you try to make an appointment. If the referral form requires the mothers consent, write "No Contact" and see what happens. I don't know anyone who has had to do this as joint consent is generally ignored here despite the Constitutional position granting fathers equality to mothers

lucy2010

James Jones wrote: »

He shouldn't have taken the money as there was obviously a problem getting the joint consent so ask for the money back and try making an appointment with a similar service in
the North, where Section 2 (7) of the Children Act 1989 states that

The 2nd part of the sentence might prevent you from taking the action you believe is necessary but you won't know unless you try to make an appointment. If the referral form requires the mothers consent, write "No Contact" and see what happens. I don't know anyone who has had to do this as joint consent is generally ignored here despite the Constitutional position granting fathers equality to mothers

He did advise if mother continued to refuse a social worker would be brought in. Anyway he advised her same & she has given consent. We have tried the public service of John of Gods but there are no appointments available - thats the whole problem too - hence going privately with them. Result from that is child has been victim of severe emotional abuse for years & is now under their care - shes a million dollars as she has finally started to get it all out .

Anyway long story short ,mother has rejected kiddie, her family, everyone, told everyone where to go in a few choice words & doesnt want anything to do with daughter - exact words - ive washed my hands of her !.

So thank God we have her in the councelling system. Nextly Mum needs to face up to the fact she herself is suffering from mental problems & needs urgent help - There was a point a number of years ago where a councellor & medics both diagnosied scitzophrenia but mum refused to admit this & walked away from help then. This was hidden away & has only come to light now. With her family we have managed to unravel years & years of lies & deciet & neglect. We have spent the weekend trying to unravel this web of horror &its like being in a movie - people honestly wouldnt believe the half of it TBH. Shes ill & needs urgent help.

Her family mentioned a safety order for all the kids - does anyone know much about this before I meet solicitor ?

Morag

Ok your partner need to talk to the social workers who are on this case to apply for an interim care order and that way the teen can be placed where she is needed and get the help she needs.

Yes it is poxy as the system assumes that parents will act in the best restraint of the kid but that doesn't always happen.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/barring_safety_and_protection_orders.html

Information

Under the Domestic Violence Act, 1996, Gardai (the Irish police force) have the power to arrest and prosecute a violent family member. Under the law there are two main kinds of protection available, a safety order and a barring order.

A safety order is an order of the court which prohibits the violent person from further violence or threats of violence. It does not oblige the person to leave the family home. If the person lives apart from you it prohibits them from watching or being near your home.

lucy2010

Sharrow wrote: »

Ok your partner need to talk to the social workers who are on this case to apply for an interim care order and that way the teen can be placed where she is needed and get the help she needs.

Yes it is poxy as the system assumes that parents will act in the best restraint of the kid but that doesn't always happen.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/barring_safety_and_protection_orders.html

Thanks so much for that - very much appreciated

Funny thing is the system is so aimed at mammys & I am realising how anti dads it is - In our case its trying to protect the child from the mum yet the system is all for the mum. We were only having this conversation last night with my ex husband & he pointed that out - how do you protect her from the mum when its geared to suit them....

Monty Burnz

angelfire9 wrote: »

If the parents are married, yes as he has automatic guardianship
If the parents are unmarried its not so simple!

Antediluvian family law in this country. Fathers aren't really parents... :rolleyes:

lucy2010

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Antediluvian family law in this country. Fathers aren't really parents... :rolleyes:

Or go one better a non biological one that was put on the birth cert !!!!!!