Teacher may be bullying my child

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for going to the trouble to reply, you've all been a great help.

I'm going to meet with the teacher and try the subtle, nice approach as there are just a few weeks left to go, and I will monitor things more closely but don't want to upset my son anymore. I'll get it across in my own way without alienating the teacher or making things worse. Ridiculous that I have to walk on egg shells around such a person! But it has to be done.

Was very surprised to hear that Fittle's experiences were with a woman teacher- it's the last thing you would expect isn't it? How can these people go into teaching at all? It beggars belief!

Will take your advice and call the National Parents Council also and get advice if this continues after I have my little talk with this teacher.

I definitely do not want any long term affects as a result of this so I'm going to get to the bottom of it, and change schools if necessary, but hopefully it won't come to that.

goat2

handlehow wrote: »

Thanks everyone for going to the trouble to reply, you've all been a great help.

I'm going to meet with the teacher and try the subtle, nice approach as there are just a few weeks left to go, and I will monitor things more closely but don't want to upset my son anymore. I'll get it across in my own way without alienating the teacher or making things worse. Ridiculous that I have to walk on egg shells around such a person! But it has to be done.

Was very surprised to hear that Fittle's experiences were with a woman teacher- it's the last thing you would expect isn't it? How can these people go into teaching at all? It beggars belief!

Will take your advice and call the National Parents Council also and get advice if this continues after I have my little talk with this teacher.

I definitely do not want any long term affects as a result of this so I'm going to get to the bottom of it, and change schools if necessary, but hopefully it won't come to that.

that is the right thing to do, that is the way i always fixed problems for my children and they worked all the time, because if we go in all guns blaring it only gets up the noses of others, i have seen it happen, and dont agree with it, this teacher may not know that your son is very upset, as he wait till he get home to leave off all the stress, you are doing great as you are keeping that door wide open with your child, keep it up and you will rear a well adjusted person, good luck to you

iguana

I just thought I'd add this to the thread so when you do meet the teacher you are well armed with the knowledge that what this teacher is doing has been prohibited in our schools for nearly 30 years now, and you can let him know that you are well aware of the Board of Education regulations.

This regulation was circulated by John Boland, Minister for Education, Republic of Ireland to all schools on January 26, 1982, and took effect almost immediately, on February 1, 1982.

1. Teachers should have a lively regard for the improvement and general welfare of their pupils, treat them with kindness combined with firmness and should aim at governing them through their affections and reason and not by harshness and severity. Ridicule, sarcasm or remarks likely to undermine a pupil's self-confidence should not be used in any circumstances.
2. The use of corporal punishment is forbidden.
3. Any teacher who contravenes sections (1) or (2) of this rule will be regarded as guilty of conduct unbefitting a teacher and will be subject to severe disciplinary action.

shootermacg

I've been the victim of this approach for two years. It did make my life a living hell. The fact that your kid is confiding in you means you should take this very seriously.

I'd get on to the powers that be and explain how this is upsetting your kid. Kids at that age don't really have the tools to deal with it.

cynder

My lady (age 11) is having trouble with her teacher, she thinks he is targeting her but his like it with everyone, she does get on his bad side as she has a mouth on her ( as in she will stand up for herself and defend her actions and throw in a few smart coments here and there). im happy to leave it in the teachers hands, he swears his like it with all the kids (and the kids say they all hate him, they do say they think my lady has it harder with him). She only has 4 weeks left with him and then she moves on. I have spoken to him as ive been called into the school i get called in often as my lady is a diabetic. she said she hated him to his face, infront of me and also that he picks on her. TBH i think his just a strict teacher and she has to accept that.

first thing to do is talk the the teacher in question (even though its also the principle) there are 2 sides to every story, failing that then involve the bord of management, best of luck

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Interesting reading everyones posts, as i too have a child aged 10 (since May) and feel she's being bullied by her teacher in a similar way but its the punishments she dishes out i cant get on with, she has a 'cut off book' and basically if a child is added in there they have to stand on the wall at playtime watching all the other kids play...

Heres wat actions gets them put in the cut-off book or as she (the teacher) calls it double detention (so its x2 straight away)) :- * mom (me) not reading with her and signing her reading record everysingle day (sometimes if we visit nans we run out of time), not doing homework (understandable), getting 7/10 or less in there tests, spelling, maths, etc. (at least three different ones a week and watever else teacher decides warrants an entry... now by my calculations if i sign her book everyday, and altho she's probably suffering here with feeling like she has 'nothing to lose' by not doing her homework, if she was to do that too, but get 7/10 in everything that makes 6 days worth of detentions in a five day week thus on the wall indefinitely tbh.. when i asked my daughter when was the last time she actually had a morning playtime she answered 'cant remember'... again she used to be gr8 in school, loved every minute of it, was very keen and was always sad when her teachers left or at end of term.. but this last year/term she's constantly h8'd any mention of school, i've also noticed a difference in her attitude at home too... I have spoken to the head mistress too but felt bullied myself as she just went and got the offending teacher before hearing wat i had to say and that teacher scares me let alone my girl and my gripe at the time was how my daughter was always upset that she seemed to have a mountain of homework all the time and would be punished if it wasn't done perfectly, shes under a lot of pressure for a 10yr old imho. then it was suggested that she hadn't been listening and teacher only said to do a 3rd of the homework given out i just asked them to go easy on her as its having a reverse affect and shes rebeling but generally i felt it all got turned around on her...

She has also been punished (for being in cut off book) where she's not allowed to go on school trips... i wouldnt mind if she was roudy and naughty in school but she's not... she seems to wait til she gets home for that lol

So far i've applied for them (i have 7yr too at same school) to be transfered to a new school closer to us anyway, but still waiting on that... also i find confrontation embarrassing now and feel my views at the school fell on deaf ears..

Anyway hope this helps that feeling of 'ur not alone' i'm just looking forward to hopefully seeing a diffenrence in my daughter behaviour when she finally does move on..

SerialComplaint

OP - It would be good to get a 2nd opinion on exactly what is happening in the classroom. Could you get 1 or 2 of his classmates round to your house over the next few days, and speak to them about what is happening. Let their parents know first what you are up to.

Is he going to have a different teacher next year?

Overature

OP I dont have any experiance of this and I dont have kids, I would be seriously pissed about this though. I would definly confront the teacher and dont be afraid to get angry, dont let yourself be pushed around, good luck

Fea.

OP, my son was bullied in school. I begged and begged the principle to help me to find out what was going on that was making his life a misery. My other kids were happy and content all the time, but not him. He finally left 6th class and went into first year, I was demented that he would be a sitting duck all his life with people picking on him. It wasn’t until the summer before he went into 2nd year, that he finally told me what had happened in school and I finally learned the truth.

It turned out, it was the teacher that was terrorising him. Three years that went on and I never knew. I’ll never forgive myself for not even considering the teacher at the time. I’ll never forgive the principle or the other teachers that knew all along but covered up this creep that was there to teach our children. This same man told me that my son would never amount to anything, he failed everything for the 3 years he taught him.

Three years later, my son sat his Junior Cert and brought home 10 honours.

You know your own son. Listen to him. And don’t give yourself the chance to have any regrets in what you do to make sure he’s always okay.
Let us know how you get on
Xxx

mikehunts

handlehow wrote: »

Thanks everyone for going to the trouble to reply, you've all been a great help.

I'm going to meet with the teacher and try the subtle, nice approach as there are just a few weeks left to go, and I will monitor things more closely but don't want to upset my son anymore. I'll get it across in my own way without alienating the teacher or making things worse. Ridiculous that I have to walk on egg shells around such a person! But it has to be done.

Was very surprised to hear that Fittle's experiences were with a woman teacher- it's the last thing you would expect isn't it? How can these people go into teaching at all? It beggars belief!

Will take your advice and call the National Parents Council also and get advice if this continues after I have my little talk with this teacher.

I definitely do not want any long term affects as a result of this so I'm going to get to the bottom of it, and change schools if necessary, but hopefully it won't come to that.

I think shag the egg shell approach he is bullying your child, go in all guns blazing and give him a taste of his own medicene. Say you won't stand for his crap and there's more if he wants it.

byhookorbycrook

mikehunts wrote: »

I think shag the egg shell approach he is bullying your child, go in all guns blazing and give him a taste of his own medicene. Say you won't stand for his crap and there's more if he wants it.

Which will get you nowhere and may back fire. Thre is procedure for a reason. If this teacher is bullying your child, follow procedure or you may end up worse off than ever.

carlybabe1

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Which will get you nowhere and may back fire. Thre is procedure for a reason. If this teacher is bullying your child, follow procedure or you may end up worse off than ever.

Realistically speaking, if he genuinely is NOT bullying your child, then he wont be given to spitefully victimizing your child, and will want to set things straight. If he IS bullying your son then no matter how you approach him he will make a point of getting his own back (if only to prove a point) UNLESS you go in, not with all guns blazing but calmly ask him whats going on, and when hes told you, insist that you wont accept him making a class clown out of your son, and that if he does it just once more, he'll be getting a letter from your solicitor informing him of what action you will be taking. End of, its not acceptable, you wouldnt allow this from another of his peers, why would you allow a teacher to do so much damage to his confidence