How to scold a very bold child

metrovelvet

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Yes he can be insufferable, but it is a recent problem which is lessening again Thank God. But there are some children that even I fear!

He cried when I ate because I did not give him my attention. I was busy cooking and prepping food. He would drag out of me and try to pull stuff onto himself (my biggest fear being a pot of water). I eat now when he goes to bed, but I should have the option to eat when suits me and his dad, not just him. I was going without breakfast lunch and dinner, if I waited til he fell asleep, he would wake up if he heard/smelt food cooking (I kid you not).

I have a tendency to show I can be more stubborn than him by doing what needs to be done, regardless of his behaviour.

Children may only be small, but they are always learning and testing their boundaries, I feel it best to prove mine to him. He seems to learn best from that.

I do understand what you are talking about. I remember my son pulling out of me when I had a pot of hot oil in my hand and he was right under my feet. And it was a panic moment because one false move and serious trouble.

My son grew out of or it was year of everyday 'stay away from the stove and away frm me when im cooking." But they have reallys short memories sometimes The other thing that worked was having the radio on at around 5;45, so at 6 the angeles bells came on, shsh....hear the bells? shhsss....means we have to be quiet... it got me one minute of peace to pray for what was left of my sanity. And often using a quiet whisper worked.

It depends too on the nature of your child, mine isnt that stubborn, not in an outward way, but in a more subltle way which is harder to deal with in some ways.... another story...but with more stubborn children sometimes you have to detect which battle to stand your ground on or you're doomed. Also sometimes they LOVE seeing mommy on the hop and get exhilirated frm seeing you exaspirated.

As for train journeys, i would still only go on them for medical reasons, either you or your sons, or if possible to leave him with family for the day while you do a day trip for an appointment.

wolfpawnat

metrovelvet wrote: »

I do understand what you are talking about. I remember my son pulling out of me when I had a pot of hot oil in my hand and he was right under my feet. And it was a panic moment because one false move and serious trouble.

My son grew out of or it was year of everyday 'stay away from the stove and away frm me when im cooking." But they have reallys short memories sometimes The other thing that worked was having the radio on at around 5;45, so at 6 the angeles bells came on, shsh....hear the bells? shhsss....means we have to be quiet... it got me one minute of peace to pray for what was left of my sanity. And often using a quiet whisper worked.

It depends too on the nature of your child, mine isnt that stubborn, not in an outward way, but in a more subltle way which is harder to deal with in some ways.... another story...but with more stubborn children sometimes you have to detect which battle to stand your ground on or you're doomed. Also sometimes they LOVE seeing mommy on the hop and get exhilirated frm seeing you exaspirated.

As for train journeys, i would still only go on them for medical reasons, either you or your sons, or if possible to leave him with family for the day while you do a day trip for an appointment.

His nan is very good at taking him for a night or 2. He didn't come up to Dublin this weekend with us as was planned, so that was good. But other times it is just not an option.

One week He pulled at the oven door as I was removing dinner from it, it was 200 degrees, I went mental, I screeched and smacked his hand.... last time he ever looked at it. He could see it was not me being dramatic, just me fearful for his safety. It is one of the two times I have ever smacked him, the other is when he tried to run onto the junction between the N11 and M50 during rush hour, again he never did it again. And they were only light smacks so I keep such a punishment for horrendous situations, ones that would actually be life threatening!!!!

metrovelvet

wolfpawnat wrote: »

His nan is very good at taking him for a night or 2. He didn't come up to Dublin this weekend with us as was planned, so that was good. But other times it is just not an option.

One week He pulled at the oven door as I was removing dinner from it, it was 200 degrees, I went mental, I screeched and smacked his hand.... last time he ever looked at it. He could see it was not me being dramatic, just me fearful for his safety. It is one of the two times I have ever smacked him, the other is when he tried to run onto the junction between the N11 and M50 during rush hour, again he never did it again. And they were only light smacks so I keep such a punishment for horrendous situations, ones that would actually be life threatening!!!!

This to me seems like par for the course two year old behavior. They are terrorists, even the most compliant of them because they are impulsive too.

Seriously I have restricted all train travelling to have to do with health appointments for my son, I dont even go for my own. I made an exception once for a social visit. Not again for along time unless absolutely necessary and he is a very very good traveller. Its just too exhausting. Luckily those are coming to end.

Daisy M

wolfpawnat wrote: »

Hugs and kisses are a big thing to me and my son, when he feels like giving them, but I refuse to give them for small falls and tumbles. I feel they cause all falls to be seen as something to cry over, and that causes those children that are insufferable. He just gets up and say uh-oh and wipes his hands off his pants, that way when he does cry I know he needs cuddles.

Softer parenting only got me so annoyed and upset that I could not even eat while my son was awake. I am serious, he would cry when I ate and as a result I starved all day, crying with hunger so he could control the situation. If he was not allowed my food, he would cry/throw my food to the floor. Also I want a little man, not a mammy's little precious who ends up being one of those weird men that never leaves home. I want him to be ringing me from a foreign country telling me he was surfing today and he thinks he saw a Great White Shark, and me freaking out worrying about him but knowing that he is a sturdy man, able for the world!

I agree with metrovelvet his behaviour at the moment does sound insufferable, is it possible that you are so intent that he does not turn out to be a certain type of adult that you are not parenting him age appropriately. Honestly I am not trying to annoy you or condem you with that remark, but your sons behaviour sounds like more than the terrible twos and as he has been assessed and thankfully given the all clear it looks like there maybe something else behind his behaviour. Maybe your reactions to his behaviour are part of the problem, a lot of the things he does like pulling open the oven door ect is normal for toddlers he is just exploring, I would also have given my children a smack on the hand if they did something dangerous at that age because it meant that they were less likely to do it again and if a small smack meant a dangerous situation been avoided then so be it. The issue with your meals I just dont understand though it sounds as if he was trying to control you and you were doing the same back. If you were in a situation that you were almost crying with hunger its kindof hard to imagine that you were able to hold you patience with your son surely you were on edge and possibly resentful, not a good position for either him or you to be in. So what if you had a snack and he was eating off your plate hes only 2 he will learn in time that he cant continue this, but I thin you could be trying to teach him too much too soon.

CK2010

Im the same with my girl regarding the falls and stuff, she gets an 'oops silly goose' or 'oh did you break the ground?' and a hand up, thats it. no cuddles or kisses unless shes crying first. alot of parents cause crying and panic because the minute they see the child fall they make a big deal out of it and encourage the child to panic more. people think its harsh but if my little one falls or hurts herself she just shrugs it off and gets on with things instead of running over for me to kiss her better.

i always stood my ground with mine too. if it was a rule that X was not to be done then X would not be done. i never had a problem with her eating off my plate but if it was something, like you, that i did not want happening then that would not happen, simple as. no excuses, no bending the rules. no 'ah sure shes only a baby', rules are rules no matter how insignificant they may seem.

as for hitting, ive never hit her but if she somehow ended up in a dangerous situation like you mentioned i cant say for certain that i wouldnt hit her out of panic. but it wouldnt be as a form of 'punishment' if you get me. like i wouldnt want a smack to be a deterrent, even if it was from danger; if it was ever to happen it would just be sheer panic at the time, not something i 'save' for really bad situations.