The Procrastination Station.

CD.

Hi, I've started a site where i post short stories 3 times a week and was hoping I would be able to get some feedback from here?

I would just post the stories here, but i thought that it would be a bit much and I didn't want to flood the board or anything

any help/comments/general advice would be really appreciated

http://Alanjameskeogh.wordpress.com

pickarooney

On the contrary, it would be much more in the spirit of boards if you posted your stories here and exchanged feedback with other forum members.

cobsie

Hey OP
I had a look at your stories - the ideas are interesting and the language is fine, but the style is quite detached. The characters are not really alive in an individual or idiosyncratic way because of how you moderate them through this slightly impersonal, impervious narrative style. I guess I liked the more outlandish stories better, probably because an outsized tales-of-the-unexpected backdrop is more forgiving of the bland characterisation. So, I guess the most positive thing is that your plots are pretty good at least

CD.

Piackarooney: Awesome, then that is what I shall do.

Cobsie: thanks for taking a look, any ideas as to how to resolve detached...ness?
Glad I'm doing something right anyway!

cobsie

hey CD...
well, the first three or so stories have no dialogue, but neither are they interior monologues. So, you are telling us a lot about a character who doesn't speak or interact directly with anybody else. You should let the character speak for themselves, through first person narration or by connecting more directly between the language and the character. You don't have to write in the first person to still select verbs that reveal the interior of the character a little. Try to zoom in on the action much more - if your story was a movie, everything would be in medium shot (which is how they shoot sitcoms and soaps).

ganlan

,,,,yeah ,I think so!