Overweight child - how to avoid eating disorders

careca11

gym_mom wrote: »

I have a 10 year old girl who is quite overweight. Her problem started from a small baby when she could never be satisfied and was put on the "hungry baby" formula on the advice of the health nurse. This quickly piled on the pounds and she has always craved food since. Although we watch her food intake as much as possible and she is quite active and relatively fit in comparison to many of her peers, she is well overweight for her age and height. She is a tall girl with a large bone structure as well. My younger kids are a normal weight and don't have this problem.

She does lots of activities including swimming, dancing, gaelic, trampolining and after school games and we are always out in the garden as much as possible. She walks to and from school. She loves her food but loves healthy dinners and we eat lots of veg and cook healthy meals. But she is always thinking about the next meal and looking for something else to eat. She definitely needs to diet and try to lose about 2 stone.

My dilhemma is this. Although I know she needs to diet, I just can't find the right way to enforce this because I am terrified of forcing an eating disorder on my child. I tell her all the time how important it is to be healthy and that she is beautiful and kind hearted etc.. She is aware of the problem because she has mentioned it so many times. But how do I make her diet without pushing her down the road to eating disorders. Is 10 to early for this ? I really need some good advice so please everyone else.. I dont need lectures.. Im quite aware that it's my fault and she needs to lose weight. I know the health issues, lectures wont help me. Can anyone please offer some real advice on how to tackle this issue with a young girl on her way towards puberty when body image is going to take over her life. I need to sort this out and I need to make sure Im doing it the right way because I've seen the damage that bulimea and anhorexia can do to people.

Thanks in advance...

the slimming world diet program might be the way to go ,
its actually not really a diet at it really mostly common sense
like using frylite spray instead of oil when frying ,
cut down on breads ,
you can study the program and just tweek her meals to suit.
Other than that , you should write a dairy of exactly what she eats in a week , and from you you should be able to spot things that are possible problems (you could even post them her and sure we can at least offer an opinion)


My wife is at slimming world and as i am the cook of the house I have introduced some of their meals to my 2 year old child . he loves them

or perhaps she has some sort of food allergy that is actually bloating her (a dietition or nutritionalist would be the best to see ), because she sounds very active indeed .....................many kids wcould take a leaf out of her book in terms of activities

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

I have no official guidelines, only my own experience here, but I am 31 yrs old, almost 5'7" and I wear a size 10. According to the "Stop the Spread" campaign recently launched (where women are considered overweight for having over a 32" waist) I am just on the fence (ie: I'm 32").

Personally, I wouldn't think having a 12 yr old who's only around 5' wearing size 8-10 is "perfect." There is a reason they call them adult clothes.

Picture of my just turned 11 year old wearing an adult dress, to me she is perfect, she is not fat, she is not over weight, at age 11 she is the height and weight of a 13 year old, she is in no way abnormal.

If you think that is fat and she shouldnt be wearing adult clothes that fit her frame then im lost........ i couldn't imagine a better picture of health.


I looked up next directory and a 32 inch waist by them is a size 16!

Ayla

I do not think (under any circumstances) that your child is overweight. All I'm saying is that I can't figure out how someone who is 7" shorter than me and 20 years younger can (or should) wear the same size clothes. I have gone through puberty, I have a woman's hips/thighs/chest. An 11-12 year has not and does not.

And as per Next, well that doesn't make any sense. I'm currently wearing a pair of Signature Next trousers marked 10P, and they're a couple inches too big around everywhere...I can only imagine what a 16 would be. Guess it goes to show the irregularity of the fashion/clothing industry!

gym_mom

Ok let's not turn this helpful thread into a fight. You might want to remove the picture of your (very pretty and healthy looking ) daughter from the thread as you wouldn't know where the picture would end up.

The food intolerance thing is certainly a possibility as I said she was a hungry baby from the get-go. She was breastfed for about 6 weeks but I just couldn't keep up with her and when she was on the bottle it was more like every 2.5 hours that she started to cry for another feed. Then from about 3 months old the pictures I have are of a chubby baby and she's never been anything but chubby since. However, her BMI now would indicate she is in the obese range for her age and height. It's probably a combination of a lot of stuff but Im sure she's getting too many calories now and not enough excercise to balance it out. My girl is a very big build also and if she had no weight on her at all she would still be quite big for her age.

Anyway, I've done a lot of research today and I reckon that she knows how loved and how special she is and she would be able to handle being helped to lose weight without it becoming a major psychological issue for her.

cynder

Yep I know what you mean my lady was 9pm 1 oz born 1 week early, she was always bigish. Everyone comes in different shapes n sizes. If you were to take 1/2 a stone off my lady she would be skinny, a size 8 suits her. As you could see. I planned on taking the photo down as it was just to illustrate that size 8 adult clothes can fit 11 year olds and still look good.

Your lady might be destined to be a size 12, just encourage her to do the best she can to be healthy. Not everyone was or is meant to be a size 8 or a size 10. Your doing the right thing, focus on health rather than dress size.....

cynder

Ayla wrote: »

I do not think (under any circumstances) that your child is overweight. All I'm saying is that I can't figure out how someone who is 7" shorter than me and 20 years younger can (or should) wear the same size clothes. I have gone through puberty, I have a woman's hips/thighs/chest. An 11-12 year has not and does not.

And as per Next, well that doesn't make any sense. I'm currently wearing a pair of Signature Next trousers marked 10P, and they're a couple inches too big around everywhere...I can only imagine what a 16 would be. Guess it goes to show the irregularity of the fashion/clothing industry!

Have you seen the horrid clothes they have for 11 and 12 year olds? they are was to childish for 11 and 12 year olds, next adult range is trendy. Have to watch low cut tops but other stuff is grand, name it has nice dresses for young teens, my lady wore one 2 the Taylor swift concert.

Just thought what if you were both at a concert and my girl was wearing the same dress as you :eek: lol,

Dress sizes differ from store to store. That's why my lady goes from an 6 to a 10.

Zamboni

Ayla wrote: »

Out of fairness, though, the OP did state in her original message that her daughter's weight & constant feeding has been a lifelong issue. And one that her siblings do not share. Considering she does have a (comparitively) healthy lifestyle and (generally) healthy diet, maybe it's not out of line to do some simple physiological tests to make sure there isn't something else gong on. Won't hurt to rule that out as a possible trigger anyway.

You want to do a physiological test?
Give the child less calories and see what happens.
So what if the child exercises and eats 'healthily'.
If she is consuming in excess of her bodies requirements she will store the energy as fat. End of.
The fact that her siblings have different bodyshapes means absolutely nothing!

So far there have been suggestions of going to a GP, a nutritionist, a dietician, and an endoncrinologist on this thread.
It's no wonder this country has high levels of obesity when people refuse point blank to deal with the fundamental and obvious causal factor of consuming too many calories.
Why on earth would the OP seek any professional assistance without trying to reduce the calorie intake of the child first?
Why seek to apportion blame on some potential medical condition?

OP you can take on board the advice of all the PC brigade on this thread and pay money to seek professional help, spend months worrying about allergies or 'metabolic abnormalities' or you can do something direct and free which starts now. Reduce your child's calorie intake.

World has gone nuts.

Dudess

The OP says her daughter eats well and exercises a lot though. I don't think people are being PC at all, just considering that it might be one of those exceptional cases where she gains weight more easily than average.

As for the 11-year-old kid wearing adult size clothes - probably because some adult size clothes are absolutely miniscule. I know there are women who are extremely tiny, but most aren't, and some of the clothes in high street shops that are meant for women would easily fit a child.

LegacyUser

OP - I'd refrain from discussing this with your daughter in terms of a "diet". A diet sounds short-term, like a temporary solution to a weight problem. This means that in her mind, one day she will no longer be "on a diet", which means reverting back to her previous eating patterns. As soon as you label a different eating pattern as a "diet" it sounds limited.

Instead, you need to talk in terms of healthy lifestyles for the entire family. Over the summer, see if there's a family or children's cooking class. Get her and your other children involved in preparing meals; talk about ingredients and where they come from and what they build in the body. Having conversations about food, health and lifestyle for the whole family is more effective than telling your daughter she's going on a diet. Your goal should be to teach your children how to eat, not just to get one of them to lose weight.

I agree with PP that there are a lot of unnecessary sugars in your daughter's food intake at the moment and juice and the like can be eliminated, as they only have empty calories and very few nutrients. A piece of fruit fills you up more than juice.

One issue that I don't think has been mentioned is water intake. It may be that she is mistaking thirst for hunger. This is common in children and a lot more common in adults. Given she is doing a lot of physical activity, it may be that she is not drinking enough water, so make sure she has her water bottle with her and is regularly taking sips. This is NOT to suggest that she ignore genuine hunger and substitute water for food, just that she may need to increase how much she is drinking.

The other thing to look at is how fast she is eating. It actually takes time for the body to register being full and if she's a quick eater, she might be getting through all of her dinner before her body registers it's had enough, which means she really does still feel hungry. In this case, offering a glass of water or making her wait at least 30 minutes before she could have more to eat (sometimes kids are genuinely hungry) means that she might not feel as hungry as she did straight after the meal. During this time, you can also get her focussed on something else - homework, getting ready for bed etc. If she really is still hungry, then offer her vegetables, protein or slow-energy releasing carbs, but not more refined carbs (white pasta, bread, fruit etc).

I also agree about not banning treats altogether, but make sure they really are only sometimes, and don't make treats a reward for good behaviour or anything. A treat should just be something to eat that tastes nice - it shouldn't be associated with giving your approval.

cynder

Dudess wrote: »

As for the 11-year-old kid wearing adult size clothes - probably because some adult size clothes are absolutely miniscule. I know there are women who are extremely tiny, but most aren't, and some of the clothes in high street shops that are meant for women would easily fit a child.

Think thats down to models who have a size 0, Victoria becham has the waist of a 7 year old, is the 7 year old fat or is VB to thin????

Ayla

Zamboni wrote: »

You want to do a physiological test?...

Now, I suggested doing it only because the OP was already addressing the calorie/excercise/portion size issue. All of it can be done in conjunction. I agree that more often than not it's lifestyle that causes people to be overweight, but that doesn't mean we need to completely ignore the very real reality that - for some people - metabolic or hormonal conditions can be an issue.

gym_mom

Everyone's points are very relevant so thanks to everyone who contributed. I do think that she's getting too many calories and that she doesn't burn them off enough. I also know that my fear of causing psychological problems has prevented me from being stricter on her in terms of food and from making it blatently obvious to her that she needs to lose weight. She knows she's overweight though. I'll go with the calorie watching and increased excercise anyway. Once Im happy that we have corrected that, if there's still a problem with weight then I'll seek a nutritionists advice.

Eggle

Hi All
I found this book to help: "The care and keeping of you" http://www.amazon.co.uk/Care-Keeping-You-American-Library/dp/1562476661/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314275310&sr=8-1
It covers a lot of puberty issues in a very gentle manner, including body image, healthy eating and exercise. Its not just a book to give to your child but maybe one for reading with her and to start a discussion. I find the "American Girl" series a little bit cheesy but very good for the 10-13 or so age group, informative without being confrontational. They helped with my two daughters! Best of luck.

DM addict

OP, sounds like you've got enough good advice, it only remains for me to wish you good luck! If your daughter is aware that she's overweight and wants to change then that's a big hurdle cleared, tbh. There's nothing worse than trying to encourage a healthy lifestyle in a child who doesn't want to hear it.

One thing - she might want to chat with you about how she's feeling (about being called fat etc) so make sure you're there for that. Reassuring her that she's beautiful is really important, but that still doesn't stop it hurting when you get called names. There's often no solution to things like that apart from to let her tell you about it and give her a hug. The more open dialogue you have now, the better your relationship is going to be moving forward.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

The OP says her daughter eats well and exercises a lot though. I don't think people are being PC at all, just considering that it might be one of those exceptional cases where she gains weight more easily than average.

As for the 11-year-old kid wearing adult size clothes - probably because some adult size clothes are absolutely miniscule. I know there are women who are extremely tiny, but most aren't, and some of the clothes in high street shops that are meant for women would easily fit a child.

She doesn't eat well, she eats sugar all day. I'd be ravenous an hour later if I tried having a bowl of rice krispies for breakfast. Exercise is great and all, but feeding her sugar drinks and insulin-spiking food all day - no wonder she is starving. Toast, crackers, cereal...

How has the food changing been going OP? Less bread, sugar cereals, etc?
Eggs or natural yogurt with fruit for breakfast? More vegetables (not potatoes), more meat and fish? it will keep her more full and less looking for snacks.

neuro-praxis

I wish I had seen this thread sooner. There is, imo, a lot of truly dreadful advice in this thread, in particular the "reduce her calories" crew. Do you not think this child has the ability to eat in secret? Hello? Reducing her calories, with or without her knowing, will increase whatever considerable hunger she is currently experiencing and encourage her to think of eating as something shameful and to be hidden.

My advice is to speak to a professional about eating disorders. My mother was concerned about my weight from the get-go and I developed full blown eating disorders from about age 7 or so. Your daughter's hunger may be emotional rather than physical at this stage and she may be eating her feelings. Any focus on her food or weight at all will probably heighten this.

I recommend the therapists, nutritionists and the GP at the Marino Therapy Centre in Dublin. Call them, get an appointment for YOU and get advice on how to handle this the best way.

http://www.marinotherapycentre.com/