partner doesnt understand me

tara2

im 36 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby and i feel my partner doesnt understand me.our other baby is just 13months and im so tired,puking every day and have the usual pregnancy problems like not sleeping at night uncomfortable,cant bend ect,he works away mon till fri and in just wrecked when he comes home on a fri eve,i need to know am i expecting to much from him to help me at the weekends? dont get me wrong hes a great dad and does help wit our toddler but when i ask him to do thing like put chips in the oven the huffs and puffs.he never cleans the house does washing ect,hes great in lots of other ways but i just want him to do things that need doing without me asking him to,dont suppose my hormones are helping but they cant get the blame for everything.

Orion

Your 36 weeks and looking after a toddler. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect him to help out with cooking and housework at the weekends.

Moonbeam

I have similar issues.
Stop doing everything and he will quickly notice things aren't done:)
Everyone is tired at the weekends,him after work you after work and your toddler.
Your 36 weeks pregnant ,look after your toddler don't worry about anything else.

barbiegirl

I showed your post to my hubbie and his response was you'd kill me

Sit him down, explain how tired you are, that you need help. I find putting a list together of what I will do and what I need him to do always helps. Then I leave him to do it and he generally gets it done.

Everyone wants their weekends to be free to enjoys one anothers company but unfortunately housework needs to get done, however if possible limit it to a couple of hours for what we call the big clean, it takes 2 hours but then the main stuff is done, then try to enjoy your time together.

You are wrecked, he's wrecked, your toddler wants attention, having things perfect isn't that important. Clean good, tidy not necessary.

Hannibal Smith

tara2 wrote: »

im 36 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby and i feel my partner doesnt understand me.our other baby is just 13months and im so tired,puking every day and have the usual pregnancy problems like not sleeping at night uncomfortable,cant bend ect,he works away mon till fri and in just wrecked when he comes home on a fri eve,i need to know am i expecting to much from him to help me at the weekends? dont get me wrong hes a great dad and does help wit our toddler but when i ask him to do thing like put chips in the oven the huffs and puffs.he never cleans the house does washing ect,hes great in lots of other ways but i just want him to do things that need doing without me asking him to,dont suppose my hormones are helping but they cant get the blame for everything.

You're knackered, you're 36 weeks pregnant and you've a 13 month baby too look after. You're doing more than your fair share with your body looking after one baby, you looking after the other, not to mention all the ancillary work like cleaning etc that goes along with it. So it's time for him to wise up start chucking in a bit more too. As Moonbeams said, stop doing your bit and he'll soon start chipping in.

We have a 2 year old and I'm 19 weeks preg, we share most of the duties. Whoever's in first in the evening cooks. If one person cooks, the other person cleans up. He looks after our son on a Saturday morning, so I can have a lie in, and I look after him on a Sunday so he can have a lie in. He works full time, I work 3 days (thanks to the recession :rolleyes:) So I do the housework, I just think it's fair, given that he's working an extra 2 days lol. It works for us at the moment, but we'll see how rosey it all is when I get to 36 weeks

Rosy Posy

I'd nip this in the bud asap if I were you. When number two comes along it is daddy's time to step up and if he's got an unrealistic expectation of you its not going to be easy. Now is your time to rest and prepare for this baby, not to be worrying about cleaning and getting his supper on the table. I'm not saying that its not possible to run a house, look after a toddler and nurture your growing baby without the support of your man, but you really want to be spending the first wee while loving and bonding with your baby.

It sounds like your man has a bit of an old fashioned attitude to fathering, or perhaps because he's away at work all week he doesn't appreciate all that you do, and feels that he should be entitled to put his feet up during his time off. Well you don't get time off from being a parent and its important that you sit him down and let him know that you need his support to raise his family. Don't mean to be dramatic but if you let this slide now you will make the rod for your back and put yourself at risk of burnout and/or post natal depression once the baby is born.

I really feel for you being at home alone with your toddler during the week, I hope you're getting a chance to rest. Do you have family or friends around who can take your little one out every once in a while and help with meals and housework? Don't know what your financial situation is but maybe you could look at getting a cleaner or childminder on a part time/temporary basis to help you get through the next couple of months? At the end of the day you're bringing another human being into this world which is a massive effort and you deserve recognition and support!

Be strong!