Book of Condolences Forum

My name is URL

I came across this while searching for the last thread about 'RIP Threads' that was started in Feedback.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1360

Are there any plans to open that up for posting? It seems like a great idea for a forum, and people are unlikely to post in it unless they are sincerely giving their condolences, since it is explicitly designed for just that.

The threads in AH & Politics atm both contain some degree of negativity, and an equal amount of people attacking those making non-condolence posts.. both sets of people somewhat destroy the idea behind condolence threads and it leads to animosity between posters and many bans been handed out.

I know people should have some cop-on and respect after someone has died but time and time again the bickering happens on RIP threads. It's also slightly hypocritical to get nasty at people for not showing respect just because the person has passed away, when tomorrow respect goes out the window while ridiculing somebody else who is still alive. Death shouldn't instantly change a persons view of someone.

Anyway, I think the Book of Condolences forum is a magnificent idea, and perhaps now is as good a time as any to open it up for posts.

A Dub in Glasgo

I think that would be a good idea as I fail to see the purpose of someone posting 'XXXXX is dead' and then the next 100 posts just state RIP with anyone who provides any sort of commentary on the live of the dead person being hounded for not being respectful.

MitchKoobski

If there isn't a forum set up for it soon, eventually there'll be a RIP thread nearly every week for someone who passed away. When the threads get removed, they need a forum to be moved to to avoid a sheetstorm of "You have no sympathy for the dead" complaints.

_blank_

Is it for people like Brian Lenihan and Gerry Ryan, or for Boardsies who have passed like Rozabeez and eirebhoy?

MitchKoobski

I would actually separate them. Leave condolence threads for Boards.ie posters/members where they were posted e.g. where the member posted most, the region the poster was from or something like that.

But have a Book of Condolences forum or something for the likes of celebrities, politicians and public figures.

AckwelFoley

I will assume it is what it says it is... "a book of condolences" where people can start a thread:

Joe Blogs actor has passed away this morning..

Joe Soap, beloved boardsie, passed away ..deepest sympathies.....

Moderator X's wife/mother/father has passed away, deepest sympathy...


No need to separate into subcategories, death is death, bereavement is bereavement - famous or not its something we will all be burdened with, and as for my last example, a great way to show support for community members.

Anyone that feels they need to troll or act the bollox can get their post deleted and banned. Because some of the trip ive seen posted in the Brian Lenihan thread makes me want to clean up my rifle, calibrate the scope and climb a bell tower.

Cookie_Monster

+1 on this, just to keep those threads out of main forums

A Dub in Glasgo

snyper wrote: »

makes me want to clean up my rifle, calibrate the scope and climb a bell tower.

What a strange post

Gunsfortoys

Back on topic, I agree wholeheartedly with the op that it only causes conflict and since the MODS in After hours deleted my post I will quote it again...

I think these RIP threads should be kept out of this forum as it only causes arguments.

LoLth

two posts deleted and 1 edited in the interests of keeping the peace.

Feel free to discuss the Book of Condolences forum but any attempts to start arguments here or get a dig at another poster will be considered abuse/off topic and will be dealt with accordingly.

please consider this a warning for all posts made on this thread from this point on.

LoLth

Overheal

hate the idea. just relegate the deceased to an obituary forum? seriously. especially in the case of fellow boardsies. feel free to disagree but i'd rather spread my condolences in the forums they were a part of, not some drab new appendix of a forum that nobody visits unless they are morbidly curious to see who has died lately. f*ck that.

My name is URL

Overheal wrote: »

hate the idea. just relegate the deceased to an obituary forum? seriously. especially in the case of fellow boardsies. feel free to disagree but i'd rather spread my condolences in the forums they were a part of, not some drab new appendix of a forum that nobody visits unless they are morbidly curious to see who has died lately. f*ck that.

I think it should be reserved for those in the public eye, not boardsies.. of course they should have a thread devoted to them in the forums they were part of.

It's not about relegating the deceased to some unseen forum.. it's about providing a juncture where people can share their condolences in a thread which is not overrun with Mod warnings against dissenting voices and disrespectful messages. A book of condolences doesn't tend to have anything in it other than just that, condolences.. and a Book of Condolences forum is not as likely to be used as a platform by those who have something negative to say, or be destroyed by warnings and arguments between users.

The thread in AH has a heap of infractions and deleted posts along with Mod warnings and other users attacking those who have not shown the level of respect they believe is appropriate. The one in Politics had to be split into 2 separate threads.. one for condolences and one for a discussion on the legacy of the man.

I just think it'd be a nice idea to centralise the condolence posts. It'd save Mods time and effort too, and leave other forums to continue running in the way they are supposed to without pettiness and animosity between users because not everyone shares the same view of the deceased person.

stovelid

I'd love to see this as places like AH are not the place for RIP threads unless it's for somebody from the community who has passed away.

For people that like paying respects to celebrities, it's also handy to have them all in one forum as you can find the threads more easily in the future.

There is no other type of thread more likely to a) lead to thousands of posts that say the same thing b) cause arguments as people are backseat-modded by people paying respects. I avoid things the BL thread as I have very little good to say about the man although I feel sorry for his family and friends so it would be nice to think of threads like that being in a dedicated forum.

Dudess

I requested this a year ago and it was approved, but no move on it since:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=66227265

RoundyMooney

Dudess wrote: »

I requested this a year ago and it was approved, but no move on it since:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=66227265

Ah come on, it's only been a year!

WindSock

I agree for public figures only. Seems to make more sense than to have several threads running in different forums where blanket rules of no discussion apply.

phasers

I agree that this is a good idea, as long as Boardsies aren't lumped in with Public Figures.

Boardsies deserve to be remembered and discussed in the forums they frequented.

My name is URL

So what's the story with the BoC forum? Is it to be opened up at all or just left to sit there serving no purpose?

How about opening it and allowing mods to move threads there if they so wish? There doesn't neccesarilly need to be a rule which states that all RIP threads should go there, but there's no harm in granting people the option of posting their condolences in a forum dedicated to just that.

OutlawPete

I support the idea of the forum, but I don't think threads should EVER be moved there. If someone wants to start a thread there, then fair enough but threads there should have a very specific OP that states it is a condolence thread and so moving threads there would be inappropriate in my view. Same goes for the RIP Forum.

Dudess

The Ryan Dunn thread is a good example in my opinion of how there's a need for this forum. Deeming reasonable and valid commentary re his lifestyle to be a character assassination is draconian and baffling...

OutlawPete

Dudess wrote: »

The Ryan Dunn thread is a good example in my opinion of how there's a need for this forum. Deeming reasonable and valid commentary re his lifestyle to be a character assassination is draconian and baffling...

I agree that users have posted 'dickish' things on the thread and that they will more than likely be more of it, but would moving the thread not be unfair to those that have (and will) show decorum? Why should we let an undesirable element ruin it for the rest. Is it not better to, instead of getting rid of such threads, to just get rid of those users instead.

Dudess

The above is a misinterpretation of my point. Discussing the reality of his lifestyle, in the public eye, a guy off the TV, in America, is not abuse of him.

OutlawPete

Dudess wrote: »

The above is a misinterpretation of my point. Discussing the reality of his lifestyle, in the public eye, a guy off the TV, in America, is not abuse of him.

I 'misrepresented' your point? Hmmm. Where did I say anything about "abuse"?

I said 'dickish' as I mean 'dickish' - which is what I feel it is to discuss those things (in the manner that they were) when the guy is not even cold. Your point is that the threads belong somewhere else and it is mine that they do not. Fine, have another thread in those forums if that is what you want, but After Hours has a current affairs element to it and it is newsworthy that this guy has just died and so the thread should remain in my view, moderated of the 'dickish' element of course.

MitchKoobski

This Ryan Dunne thread has cemented my opinion on the subject.

I'd like to see RIP threads removed from standard forums and given a separate area, maybe not in the case of boardises, but especially for celebrities and public figures.

Anyone who posts in the thread at the moment and tries to make a comment on the circumstances of his death has it removed as "it is a RIP thread."

It should be a standard "INSERTPERSON has died" thread. If you wanna discuss the death, discuss it. If you wanna post RIP, go ahead. And yes, of course I could just go and start a new thread if I wanted to discuss the death, but then what's the point in having TWO separate threads about one person dying? Love them here, give out about them here it sounds like.

As Phasers said, Boardsies deserve to be remembered and discussed in the forums they frequented. But having a thread about a public figure dying and then not allowing people to discuss the death in-thread is a bit ridiculous. RIP and Condolences threads need to be left to their own forum or sub-forum imo.

Dudess

OutlawPete wrote: »

I 'misrepresented' your point?

Yes. I was coming from a different angle to that which you were in your response.

So, any sign of this Book of Condolences forum being activated? In AH, a lack of R.I.P. threads would cut down on the amount of monitoring the mods would have to do. And if someone were to start a general discussion thread regarding the deceased public figure in question, side by side with a R.I.P. thread, there would be overspill and confusion. Since AH is a discussion forum, in my opinion, precedence should be given to the discussion thread. I'm not interested in tearing strips off anyone who died, but if there are negative points of note, which everyone knows about anyway, seeing as the person was in the public eye, it seems unnecessary to censor discussion of these.

lmaopml

MitchKoobski wrote: »

This Ryan Dunne thread has cemented my opinion on the subject.

I'd like to see RIP threads removed from standard forums and given a separate area, maybe not in the case of boardises, but especially for celebrities and public figures.

Anyone who posts in the thread at the moment and tries to make a comment on the circumstances of his death has it removed as "it is a RIP thread."

It should be a standard "INSERTPERSON has died" thread. If you wanna discuss the death, discuss it. If you wanna post RIP, go ahead. And yes, of course I could just go and start a new thread if I wanted to discuss the death, but then what's the point in having TWO separate threads about one person dying? Love them here, give out about them here it sounds like.

As Phasers said, Boardsies deserve to be remembered and discussed in the forums they frequented. But having a thread about a public figure dying and then not allowing people to discuss the death in-thread is a bit ridiculous. RIP and Condolences threads need to be left to their own forum or sub-forum imo.

Why though? ..because posters can't control themselves and feel the need to vent with no decorum - and don't trust the mods to moderate an entirely justifiable condolence thread?

Are we saying that it is not possible among boards members, because it 'doesn't' reflect the outside world? What does it represent then, what world does 'boards' represent? If 'not' the outside world of Politics, Music, Sports, etc. etc. etc.

So an RIP thread for a musician should be banned from the relevant forum, or for a politician should be banned from the relevant forum etc and simply 'relegated' to a rather side tracked RIP/Book of Condolence forum, that nobody would frequent unless they were well.....ye know.....

... like it never happened and they were never discussed at length on any one particular forum? Is it an impossibility to have some guidelines around some exceptional circumstances that covers both boardsies and those boardsies debate day to day....?

Boards members contribute personally, I would have no problem with an RIP thread for them, equally so - I don't see the justification to outlaw an RIP thread for a 'hot topic' of conversation whether they be an avid sports person or politician or musician or whatever on the relevant forum on boards where they were most likely discussed among the locals?...so long as people respect moderation of same. It's not like there isn't enough internet space to state our cases on new threads or old ones on the same forum if we didn't like the person and didn't like the 'condoling'..

AH seems to get them all, and mods work like mad - If anything ban them from there, but not from the relevant forums on boards. Or just relegate them to a dump forum.

Meh..:)

MitchKoobski

lmaopml wrote: »

Why though? ..because posters can't control themselves and feel the need to vent with no decorum - and don't trust the mods to moderate an entirely justifiable condolence thread?

My point is that there shouldn't be a thread put up with "This is a RIP thread only", implying if you want to mention about how the person died then feck off and start a new thread.

Are we saying that it is not possible among boards members, because it 'doesn't' reflect the outside world? What does it represent then, what world does 'boards' represent? If 'not' the outside world of Politics, Music, Sports, etc. etc. etc.

....what are you even TRYING to say there? I said nothing about an outside world or what members or possible of. Where are you even taking that from?

So an RIP thread for a musician should be banned from the relevant forum, or for a politician should be banned from the relevant forum etc and simply 'relegated' to a rather side tracked RIP/Book of Condolence forum, that nobody would frequent unless they were well.....ye know.....

I NEVER said that. I've stated it a couple of times already on different threads about this. My problem is RIP threads that are set up and then posters are told "You can only post RIP for your respects here, not alking about the circumstances of the death or the person during their life."

I don't know where you're getting this "relegating" or "sidetracking" from. The way you think giving these threads their own significant part of the site is "relegating" them is a bit rich tbh. Boardsies would head to a Book of Condolences forum when someone died and they want to leave a RIP message or leave their condolences.

... like it never happened and they were never discussed at lenght on any one particular forum? Is it an impossibility to have some guidelines around some exeptional circumstances that covers both boarsies and those boarsies debate day to day....?

And what exceptional circumstances would they be? I would rather a thread be allowed to have both RIP condolence messages, and allow opinions on the person where you have to say something nice or keep to yourself.

The only one I could think of is when the person who died is a boardsie, and I've already stated before that stuff like that be left in the relevant forums, where they posted the most or whatever region they were from.

Boards members contribute personally, I would have no problem with an RIP thread for them, equally so - I don't see the justification to outlaw an RIP thread for a 'hot topic' of conversation whether they be an avid sports person or politician or musician or whatever on the relevant forum on boards where they were most likely discussed among the locals?...so long as people respect moderation of same. It's not like there isn't enough internet space to state our cases on new threads or old ones on the same forum if we didn't like the person and didn't like the 'condoling'..

I'M NOT SAYING OUTLAW RIP THREADS!!

I'm saying that if you're gonna have a RIP thread, then you should allow discussion on the person, their life and the circumstances of their death.

AH seems to get them all, and mods work like mad - If anything ban them from there, but not from the relevant forums on boards. Or just relegate them to a dump forum.

If you don't want to allow discussion on it, then let RIP or condolence threads have their own forum.

OutlawPete

MitchKoobski wrote: »

.. OUTLAW RIP THREADS ..

Jesus Christ don't do that, I thought for a second there I was reading my own obituary.

My name is URL

Is there any update at all on this?

yammycat

Yep great idea for a forum, people who have just lost parents or children or loved ones and are in the depths of despair will find great solace in some trite words spoken by someone they have never nor will ever meet.

RIP threads are all win, they make the bereaved feel so much better and they stoke the ego of the poster, definately needs a dedicated forum

LoLth

My name is URL wrote: »

Is there any update at all on this?

It was all set up and ready to go, mods in place but the trigger never got pulled to make it open to the public. It'll get sorted before the weekend, thanks for the heads up.

@yammycat: that is your opinion and you are welcome to it and you are welcome to share it here. Just not in the Book of Condolences forum or on any RIP thread you see on this site.