How to write a letter for a job as a Magician?

pedrao15

I wrote this one, but I'm really not sure whether it's good or not!
I would love if you guys could help me in terms of grammar, if the sentences makes sense, overall looking and if it's ideal to send to a restaurant!
First corrections and tips gave by: zuroph
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Dear Mr or Ms

My name is Pedro Amaral and I’m a strolling magician! I have been performing magic for 4 years and working as a professional magician for 2 years, in restaurants, international hotels and at private and public parties in general.

A Magician in your restaurant can be beneficial in many ways:
.:Cover a delay in the kitchen
.:Entertain guests while they wait to be seated on busy nights
.: Develop word of mouth advertising as people begin talking about the magic
.: Generate repeat customers as people come back, usually with friends, to share the magical experience
.:Generate new business as I also do effective marketing to bring people into the restaurant
.:Increase customer satisfaction as their stay is more entertaining and fun

From me, you can expect a highly energetic, entertaining and funny style of magic, which is ideal for any entertainment venue.

Specialities: Card magic, coin magic, impromptu magic and general walk-around magical entertainment.

By the means of this letter I would ask of you the opportunity for a free trial night of entertainment in your venue, and I stress the point that there is no risk, no commitment, and absolutely no charge for this night of entertainment, just a chance for me to demonstrate what I can provide for your business.

Sincerely,
Pedro Amaral.

Website: www.pedroamaral.com.br/enghome.html
E-mail: magica@pedroamaral.com.br
Mobile: 0873520862
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zuroph

pedrao15 wrote: »

I wrote this one, but I'm really not sure whether it's good or not!
I would love if you guys could help me in terms of grammar, if the sentences makes sense, overall looking and if it's ideal to send to a restaurant!
=================================
Dear Mr or Ms

My name is Pedro Amaral and I’m a strolling magician! I have been doing performing magic for 4 years and working as a professional magician for 2 years, in restaurants, international hotels and at private and public parties in general.

A Magician in your restaurant can be beneficial in many ways:
.:Cover a delay in the kitchen
.:Entertain guests while they wait to be seated on busy nights
.:Develop word of mouth advertising as people begin talking about the magic
.: Generate repeat customers as people come back, usually with friends, to share the magical experience
.:Generate new business as I also do effective marketing to bring people into the restaurant
.:Increase customer satisfaction as their stay is more entertaining and fun

From me, you can expect a highly energetic, entertaining and funny style of magic, which is ideal for any entertainment venue.

Specialities: Card magic, coin magic, impromptu magic and general walk-around magical entertainment.

By the means of this letter I would ask of you the opportunity for a free trial night of entertainment in your venue, and I stress the point that there is no risk, no commitment, and absolutely no charge for this night of entertainment, just a chance for me to demonstrate what I can provide for your business.

Sincerely,
Pedro Amaral.

Website: www.pedroamaral.com.br/enghome.html
E-mail: magica@pedroamaral.com.br
Mobile: 0873520862
=================================

couple of edits above in bold.

pedrao15

Wow..Im glad I posted here before sending, haha.
Thank you very much!

Im still open to any other changes which you think would be beneficial as I never wrote an application letter before!

THanks!

zuroph

I think its quite good actually, it reads well, is short and to the point, and eyecatching. Lets see what others have to say.

cocopops29

I think it's very good. Reads well. Can only imagine positive responses. Good luck with it.

honeyvale

Dear Mr or Ms

MAKE YOUR FOOD MAGIC

My name is Pedro Amaral and I’m a strolling magician! I have been performing magic for 4 years and working as a professional magician for 2 years, in restaurants, international hotels and at private and public parties in general.

A Magician in your restaurant can be beneficial in many ways:
.:Cover a delay in the kitchen
.:Entertain guests while they wait to be seated on busy nights
.: Develop word of mouth advertising as people begin talking about the magic
.: Generate repeat customers as people come back, usually with friends, to share the magical experience
.:Generate new business as I also do effective marketing to bring people into the restaurant
.:Increase customer satisfaction as their stay is more entertaining and fun

From me, you can expect a highly energetic, entertaining and funny style of magic, which is ideal for any entertainment venue.

Specialities: Card magic, coin magic, impromptu magic and general walk-around magical entertainment.

By the means of this letter I would ask of you the opportunity for a free trial night of entertainment in your venue, and I stress the point that there is no risk, no commitment, and absolutely no charge for this night of entertainment, just a chance for me to demonstrate what I can provide for your business.

Sincerely,
Pedro Amaral.

Pedro
Have added a suggestion

rocketmomo

I think it's very good.But I don't how to say, Lets see what others have to say.

jennex05

I think the write up is ok, since i don't much of english

tbfrance11

So how's the application? Hope you got the job!

psychward

write it in invisible ink

dead one

Thank the Magician for coming in your thread and appreciating your work.

DorkBaller

If it was me, I'll write it like this.

Dear Sir/Madam,














Sincerely yours,

Dorky the Magician

PS: You see how I made the text disappear? I have a few other tricks that I can show you.

travelledpengy

I would agree with opening with

Dear Sir/Madam

Otherwise it is well written and I like the idea of a no risk trial night,

Best of luck!

pedrao15

Thank you very much guys!
I'm currently in Brazil performing in some private parties and restaurants and if everything goes right I'll be in Ireland in June!

I've added this CV and some more information in my WEBSITE! Make sure to check it out!
www.pedroamaral.com.br

Thanks! ;D