Would you add a student on Facebook?

ElleEm

This is prompted by a thread on the Leaving Cert forum where a student is asking would it be okay to add a teacher on Facebook after the Leaving. I was surprised at the amount of people saying they are friends with their teachers on Facebook.

I work with young people and have been requested as a friend by some of the kids. I declined and then spoke to them about the boundaries I had to uphold. I believe that this is the only correct response.

So I'm just wondering what you all think. Have any of you teachers accepted your students on Social Networking sites?

rebel10

Never. Honestly, I constantly hear of co-workers that have students as friends on facebook, but I just think that is crossing the line professionally. If they feel comfortable enough to do it, I shouldn't really judge. I just think it is inappropriate and don't really see the reasoning behind it if they are aiming to remain professional in their occupation.

ElleEm

I am not a teacher, but I don't think most teachers would think it is appropriate to being in photos and show the kids their weekend out, or funny texts their mate's send them! This is the sort of stuff kids have access to on Facebook.

rebel10

Agree with you, and not only that, but also these past students may have brothers, sisters or friends who may have access to their account and are also in the school. Generally, the teachers I have heard of that have added students are those that have either a close connection to the students, have been family friends for years, or have trained them outside of school in sport, or have done the dip in the school and will no longer be in the school. I still think it is inappropriate and I certainly wouldn't like any of my students, it doesn't matter how well i got on with them, to see any of my personal photos or messages from people.

Lord TSC

I would put it in the same line as leaving yourself alone in a classroom with a student; you could be perfectly ok 99 times out of a hundred, but all you need is one to cause a major problem. You're leaving yourself so open to various accusations and problems....

Toto Wolfcastle

Not a chance in hell. My Facebook page is the most boring page in the world but it's not for the eyes of my students, past or present. I don't add other people who aren't my friends so why would I add a student?

byhookorbycrook

Students are students, not friends, no matter how fond I am of any of them.

delta_bravo

Never ever. What I say to them is what would your parents think about it? Totally unprofessional. Even if it happens after someone leaves school what is the point? Its not like you will become friends with this person or meet up with them.

If you look at the Teaching Council UK site many teachers have faced disciplinary action for adding students on facebook and chatting with them online.

Tom Dunne

I have a decoy account that I accept all my students onto.

All nice and sober and warm and fuzzy, with no incriminating photos.

Nothing like my main account.;)

Laisurg

Yis all sound like no craic :O when i was in school none of the teachers accepted the requests but after we left they were grand with it.

Toto Wolfcastle

Laisurg wrote: »

Yis all sound like no craic :O when i was in school none of the teachers accepted the requests but after we left they were grand with it.

Why did you want to be friends with your teachers once you finished school though?

Laisurg

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Why did you want to be friends with your teachers once you finished school though?

See the funny photos of them being locked :pac:

spurious

I've had many requests from current students, but I just tell them to their face (not with a rejection through FB) that while I'm very glad they wanted me as a friend, I don't add any students until they have left school a long time.
I'm aware the younger ones see a FB rejection as terribly serious so I have to assure them it's not that I don't like them.

vamos!

Laisurg wrote: »

See the funny photos of them being locked :pac:

This is why I have never and probably will never accept a student. Life is life and work is work no matter how well you get on with some students and most students understand this.

flyswatter

One of my teachers from last year has no problem adding students like me who had him last year and before.

Sure, we sometimes see him out on nights in the town. I think it's a good thing sometimes as long as they are not current students.

For having the banter and talking about interests etc.

FerrisBueller

No way in hell!

Honestly I can't believe some people would allow this. Remember that at that age if you accept one there's a fairly big chance you'll have half the year knowing what's on your page because they'll be asked.

It's enough running into them outside of school time let alone actually allowing them see into your life via Facebook!

TheDriver

never never. The kids would need the FBI to make out my photo and username on FB so they never find me

Lord TSC

Will say it's annoying how teachers have to make their FB accounts so hard to find; there's a few people from my pgde year I lost contact with I'd love to talk to one year on, but can't find them

flyswatter

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

Will say it's annoying how teachers have to make their FB accounts so hard to find; there's a few people from my pgde year I lost contact with I'd love to talk to one year on, but can't find them

They don't have to surely?

Just make them completely private.

Wolfe Tone

I'm friends on facebook with some old teachers I had in secondary, don't see the harm, we get on well and are good enough friends.

Nadser

God no. I have a life and I have zero interest in theirs!

implausible

I'd prefer my private life to be just that - private!

evolving_doors

ElleEm wrote: »

I was surprised at the amount of people saying they are friends with their teachers on Facebook.

I work with young people and have been requested as a friend by some of the kids.

Say No to friend requests..

because quite simply...

they are not...

and if they are...

why?

Willbbz

Would you add them as a friend on boards? :pac:

Art Teacher

I joined facebook as way of keeping in touch with long distance friends.

Facebook is very good at this.

Past students of mine sought friendship- i have no ethical issues here - what is the issue? I have taught alongside former students as a colleagues. Are they not to be colleagues just because I taught them??

Present students seek friendship on facebook. At first i resisted, but i then began to intervene in facebook bullying experienced by my students.
Really, Facebook is not much differenet to Bebo. Bebo used to ask for teachers to be moderators to students from their schools.

I still keep in touch with long distance friends on facebook, but the juicy bits i have to put into private messages in case the students see it!

implausible

Art Teacher wrote: »

I still keep in touch with long distance friends on facebook, but the juicy bits i have to put into private messages in case the students see it!

See this is my biggest issue - not necessarily what I have on my page myself, but what my friends write or photos they've tagged me in!

evolving_doors

Art Teacher wrote: »

I joined facebook as way of keeping in touch with long distance friends.

Facebook is very good at this.

Past students of mine sought friendship- i have no ethical issues here - what is the issue? I have taught alongside former students as a colleagues. Are they not to be colleagues just because I taught them??

Present students seek friendship on facebook. At first i resisted, but i then began to intervene in facebook bullying experienced by my students.
Really, Facebook is not much differenet to Bebo. Bebo used to ask for teachers to be moderators to students from their schools.

I still keep in touch with long distance friends on facebook, but the juicy bits i have to put into private messages in case the students see it!

But are they really your 'friends'.
By letting them be your 'friend' in the facebook sense do you give them the impression that you are up for a night out with them ? (that's what friends do, no?).
If you decline invitations then it's a psycho rejection situation like cable guy where they'll stalk you and probably kill off your real 'friends'...maybe..

rebel10

deemark wrote: »

See this is my biggest issue - not necessarily what I have on my page myself, but what my friends write or photos they've tagged me in!

Yes, you see if it was something you had total control over at least that would give you some sense of security, but a friend could post anything on your wall, you may not see it until you check your profile, but you can be sure that the student has.

Art Teacher

deemark wrote: »

See this is my biggest issue - not necessarily what I have on my page myself, but what my friends write or photos they've tagged me in!

Yes Facebook is pernicious. Thats thats problem I have with it. In a lot of cases its the viral software in FB thats tagging on its own accord in often cases as opposed to the members of FB.

Art Teacher

Armelodie wrote: »

But are they really your 'friends'.
By letting them be your 'friend' in the facebook sense do you give them the impression that you are up for a night out with them ? (that's what friends do, no?).
If you decline invitations then it's a psycho rejection situation like cable guy where they'll stalk you and probably kill off your real 'friends'...maybe..

I would consider most people my friends. A night out with them is different. Some of my friends are very elderly and dont go out at night. But I take you point, FB presents friends as fashionistionados and nite clubbers! But thats more to do with the FB interface rather than te personality of friends - right/

Art Teacher

rebel10 wrote: »

Yes, you see if it was something you had total control over at least that would give you some sense of security, but a friend could post anything on your wall, you may not see it until you check your profile, but you can be sure that the student has.

Its a problem rebel10. I would have friends from afar posting stuff that students see, but like I work in a small town where everything is noticed anyway. How i am - my ontology as it were - art teacher in a small town - under pubic view, hasn't caused me any trouble. Be your good self on FB as you are anywhere else!

solerina

I have been added by a number of current and past students and I have never accepted any of them.
Like most people have said here, they are your students not your friends, no matter how long they have been gone its inappropriate

Art Teacher

solerina wrote: »

I have been added by a number of current and past students and I have never accepted any of them.
Like most people have said here, they are your students not your friends, no matter how long they have been gone its inappropriate

I am working with teachers that i have taught - they are my colleagues - is that wrong?

Nadser

That's a completely different situation. I have one Facebook friend who I will be teaching next year. But she is a mate - I go out drinking with her and I'm not going to stop hanging out with her just because she's going to be a student. In general though, students are not friends.

Art Teacher

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

Not a chance in hell. My Facebook page is the most boring page in the world but it's not for the eyes of my students, past or present. I don't add other people who aren't my friends so why would I add a student?

teaching lessons cn happen on facebook - just as much as on boards.ie.

Art Teacher

I find this post pernicious in teaching, I have no further interest in boards,ie. Bye.

Laisurg

vamos! wrote: »

This is why I have never and probably will never accept a student. Life is life and work is work no matter how well you get on with some students and most students understand this.

Sure i'd seen them drunk on more than one occasion (school trips since 1st year) and had pints with them on the school trips when i was in 4th year so it was nothing new.

bryaner

Nooooooo I have a mate who teaches in England, one of his co workers let his guard down and became FB friends with a student, it didn't end well..

Art Teacher

solerina wrote: »

Like most people have said here, they are your students not your friends, no matter how long they have been gone its inappropriate

Boards.ie is full of people, including teachers who give anonymous advice online to students in the Leaving Cert and Junior Cert forums, some as young as first year.

Interacting with students on boards.ie is neither more or less appropriate than Facebook - its just anonymous.

I don't see the value of having anonymous people tell me I am being inappropriate with students.

It is the end of boards.ie for me because I don't want anonymous people taking professional swipes at me on line. I am fairly identifiable here, so I don't need be involved in a forum that compromises my reputation.

This kind of thing doesn't happen to me on facebook. I don't do anything with students thats inappropriate.

Ash.J.Williams

Tom Dunne wrote: »

I have a decoy account that I accept all my students onto.

All nice and sober and warm and fuzzy, with no incriminating photos.

Nothing like my main account.;)

so does Tom Humphries!!

spoonface

I have a simple rule - if they're not someone you would exchange phone numbers with, then why would you make them your Facebook friend?

What I dislike most about Facebook is how it blurs or even removes the borders between the separate selves you have in your life. e.g. in real life, you don't have to let your gym friends know about your clubbing friends, or your work colleagues know about what you get upto on the weekend. So I think definitely better not to add work colleagues and not to add students, who are effectively colleagues and with whom interaction can be used to judge you in your professional career.

ElleEm

Art Teacher wrote: »

Boards.ie is full of people, including teachers who give anonymous advice online to students in the Leaving Cert and Junior Cert forums, some as young as first year.

Interacting with students on boards.ie is neither more or less appropriate than Facebook - its just anonymous.

Being anonymous is something that allows people on Boards to be honest and say whatever they think. You don't have this luxury on Facebook, where your students can see if you are in a relationship or not, who your family are, which pubs you go to, who your friends are(and how you interact with them via comments, links, etc.), where you go on holiday (and your photos!), gigs you go to, etc.

Art Teacher wrote: »

I don't see the value of having anonymous people tell me I am being inappropriate with students.

It is the end of boards.ie for me because I don't want anonymous people taking professional swipes at me on line. I am fairly identifiable here, so I don't need be involved in a forum that compromises my reputation.

This kind of thing doesn't happen to me on facebook. I don't do anything with students thats inappropriate.

Are you less identifiable on Facebook? Is there NOTHING on their that would compromise your reputation? If you spoke to the Principle of your school, what would they say about you being "friends" with your students?



I just don't think it's safe practice to have a student know where their teacher lives, goes out and relationship status. Your students shouldn't see their teacher in any other way than being a responsible adult, and photos of you doing shots on the weekend is not appropriate for them to be seeing. I just don't think personalising your relationship with students is going to allow you the respect you need and deserve as a teacher.

Lord TSC

It's more the accusations which would worry me; what's to stop a student saying you've been sending them inappropriate private messages on Facebook? It's putting yourself into such a dangerous position and it only takes one student to cause you major problems.

Funnily enough, I found the students who tried adding me last year were the same ones I wouldn't dare be alone with in a classroom, and were the ones who would constantly be causing problems in the classes.

born2bwild

Art Teacher wrote: »

teaching lessons cn happen on facebook - just as much as on boards.ie.

Teaching can and does take place online - VLEs and so on. But 'teaching' on facebook? Absolutely not.

A couple of my colleagues have added students as friends on facebook and it is of course, unprofessional.
More to the point it, is idiotic behaviour: the problems that might arise form such associations might never end.

doc_17

If theyare your friend accept them...if not reject them. Simples.....

rainbowtrout

ElleEm wrote: »

I just don't think it's safe practice to have a student know where their teacher lives, goes out and relationship status. Your students shouldn't see their teacher in any other way than being a responsible adult, and photos of you doing shots on the weekend is not appropriate for them to be seeing. I just don't think personalising your relationship with students is going to allow you the respect you need and deserve as a teacher.

That's taking it a bit far. If you live in Dublin, Cork, etc you can have anonymity. Like Art Teacher I also live in a small town and teach in that same town. I see students everywhere and they see me. My students see me shopping, they seeing me in the local pub at the weekend, they see me attending different events in the town, and shock horror, sometimes I might have a man in tow. Should I become a hermit so they don't know anything about my life? Funny enough, because I don't hide away from them, they have little or no interest in my life outside school. Any challenges from LC students in the past about seeing me in a pub have been swiftly dealt with by asking them their age. Conversation over.

I can safely say that I will never commit a serious crime while living in this small town because the students of my school would be able to account for my movements at any given hour, whether I'm aware of it or not.

I am not friends with any of my current students on FB, nor would I ever be. I have my boundaries. I am friends with a few former students on FB. Again I don't understand the mentality posted earlier of 'once a student, always a student, it's unprofessional' These people are adults too and most teachers on here probably have friends over a wide age range. Why is it not possible for some of these people to have been former students? Some of our former students have come back to teach with us and I know many more through other channels (clubs and events in town etc).

I'm 32 now and I have been teaching 10 years. I was 22 when I started and only 4-5 years older than my first LC class. Those students are now 27-28. Should I not be friends with anyone from this town who is 4-5 years younger than me simply because they went to the school I work in? It's essentially the same argument. On a final note, I only add people that I would know on a personal level and would be friendly with. I don't add random former students just because they requested it but wouldn't say hi if they met me. But that's the way I would be with any FB requests, former students or not.

evolving_doors

rainbowtrout wrote: »

My students see me shopping, they seeing me in the local pub at the weekend...... Any challenges from LC students in the past about seeing me in a pub have been swiftly dealt with by asking them their age. Conversation over.

I can safely say that I will never commit a serious crime while living in this small town

Are these students you see in pubs overage? if not why hav'nt you reported them?:p Is that not being complicit in a crime?

All jokes aside I suppose I agree with some of the rest of your points though esp if students 'grow up' and/or return as teachers and you hook up on face book....those cases are few and far between though really, and even then do teachers automatically let other teacher colleagues view their FB page ..

FB for real friends and family only...other people (students/work colleagues) set up an alter ego 'clean' FB page and keep it boring

dory

I'm a bit surprised by the reactions here. I'm not a teacher (yet) but I've worked in schools a fair bit and it has seemed quite normal in those schools to add students, mostly after Leaving Cert though. But I guess it makes sense to keep everything separate.

milosh

I play on the same football team as two of my students, the same hurling team as three others and the same tennis team as another. I socialise with these lads to a very limited extent in that when we have a few pints after matches, I don't mind sitting with them. They are also mature enough not to talk about school with me (most of the time). I am now friends on facebook with the ones who recently graduated but am not with the two lads going into 6th year.

If you live a normal life in the town that you work in and are of a certain age, it is impossible not to have some regular social interaction with some of your older students or recent past pupils. However, I would think it is probably dangerous and unprofessional to be friends with any current students.

number10a

I've had to explain to some of the fourth class where I did my teaching practice why I had to refuse them. They couldn't understand it when I tried telling them that there are some things that teachers want to keep private. So then I turned the tables and explained to them that they're likely to put stuff up on Facebook that they don't want me to see. They understood quite well then.

Fourth class of primary school or fourth year of college, I would never accept a student of mine.

born2bwild

dory wrote: »

I'm a bit surprised by the reactions here. I'm not a teacher (yet) but I've worked in schools a fair bit and it has seemed quite normal in those schools to add students, mostly after Leaving Cert though. But I guess it makes sense to keep everything separate.

Of course it makes sense. Your relationship with your students is a professional one. That's where it stops. As a rule of thumb I would leave it at least two years after leaving cert to accept a student as a friend on facebook.
There's just so much you cannot control in public spaces such as facebook.
Your number 1 concern should be to protect yourself and your professional reputation.