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Older sibling wants contact?

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    #62
    ppink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,458 ✭✭✭ppink


    Unregistered I know a very very similar situation. again half brothers and sisters and the "outcast" shall we say was invited in to get to know his brothers and sisters. It ended badly. It was not easy for the outcast to reconcile that the others basically had everything.....from family to money while they were left with nothing.
    i think you have made the correct choice for now and you will just have to deal with things as they crop up from now on. who knows in another month your son may change his mind and all you can do then is deal with what is put in front of you at that time. unfortunately you poor son will eventually find out all, hopefully whne he is a little older.

    I have to say I am shocked at the amount of families in this boat though..ie where there is an outcast child!


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    #63
    Babyblessed
    Registered Users Posts: 229 ✭✭Babyblessed


    ppink wrote: »
    Unregistered I know a very very similar situation. again half brothers and sisters and the "outcast" shall we say was invited in to get to know his brothers and sisters. It ended badly. It was not easy for the outcast to reconcile that the others basically had everything.....from family to money while they were left with nothing.

    Im gonna disagree on this part. It sounds like the OP is raising her child admirably. He has everything and isnt missing out on anything except perhaps someone to call 'dad'. In this case the 'man' doesnt deserve that name. The young fella is better off without this 'man'.

    When my ''outcast'' daughter met her biological family she didnt talk about any bad feelings in that sense. She knew she had the best we could provide from family to money. Now she has contact again with her biological family, has done for about 7 years now. We made contact with her bio grandparents and gradually my daughter met her half-sister (as detailed above). They maintain a relationship via FB and when we visit.
    Have to say the whole thing has been harder on my hubby who raised her as his own and adopted her. However I felt it was important for her to know her bio family and prepared her just in case of rejection. The relationship with her half sister started and continues whilst my daughter refuses contact with her 'father' and the half-sister lives with him. They are older now 16 and 20 (my daughter being the older) but it all started a good while back.

    OP you know your child, like I knew mine, no-one can tell you what to do.
    My initial suggestion still stands. I'd try and build a relationship with the girl/woman, you got on with her as a child and you may feel more comfortable this way and be able to 'suss out' her 'motive'.


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    #64
    ppink
    Registered Users Posts: 1,458 ✭✭✭ppink


    Babyblessed wrote: »
    Im gonna disagree on this part. It sounds like the OP is raising her child admirably. He has everything and isnt missing out on anything except perhaps someone to call 'dad'. In this case the 'man' doesnt deserve that name. The young fella is better off without this 'man'.


    dont know what you are disagreeing with...i was recalling what has happened with the people i know:confused:

    i never for one minute said the OP has not taken care of her son...how well she is doing that can be clearly seen from the thought and consideration she is putting into this situation.


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    #65
    Elle Collins
    Closed Accounts Posts: 681 ✭✭✭Elle Collins


    I'd have no dealings with her OP. I cannot imagine how that could possible lead to anything positive for your son. Her continued contact with their father, while he is not even recognised by him, will just leave the poor lad feeling like some sort of reject. No way would I put my child through that.


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