Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

Vegeta

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

Is his name Sean?

--LOS--

It would definitely put me off someone even though I don't drink that much but I do enjoy a few drinks out or at home, it's sad but places would seem a lot more grim to me if I wasn't drinking. It is horrible to be sober around a load of drunk people, they absolutely wreck your head, I don't know how teetotalers do it.

Supermummy

i dated a guy that didnt drink it wasnt tough at first but at times it did get to me. but there is loads of other thing do life than drink..!

flutterflye

Rocket19 wrote: »

But I can. I don't understand why people assume I couldn't have fun "outside of drinking" just because I drink.

I play hockey, have a horse which takes up a lot of time, go shopping, do the general "hanging out" in parks and coffee shops and stuff. Am I missing something?
On a friday/saturday night or whatever, my friends go to bars/go clubbing and I go along. I like doing this, I do it regularly, but its not like its the only thing I know how to do.

I'm gonna see the guy again - he was cool, but if it does go further, I can see it potentially being an issue. But I guess this is totally dependent on his attitude towards my drinking. Tbh I couldn't care less if he doesn't drink, so long as he is cool with the fact I do.

I was just responding to where you said the following;

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

You say ALOT of your social life revolves around drink.

I was just suggesting that he may show you other ways to socialise and have fun.

Nowhere did I imply that you can't have fun without drink.

Don't read what is not there.

Guill

flutterflye wrote: »

Don't read what is not there.

How dare you call me that

alexa5x5

Depends on the person. I know a few people that don't drink but you'd never know they didn't, they still get up to dance and put up with messing without reminding you of your antics in the morning. But then I also know a few that gleefully love to remind you of what everyone got up to the night before.

Spread

--LOS-- wrote: »

It would definitely put me off someone even though I don't drink that much but I do enjoy a few drinks out or at home, it's sad but places would seem a lot more grim to me if I wasn't drinking. It is horrible to be sober around a load of drunk people, they absolutely wreck your head, I don't know how teetotalers do it.

The aspartame in the diet sodas

pinkheels88

Yes, and I do. My boyfriend is Muslim so he doesn't drink and I haven't for almost two months now, and I couldn't feel better!

faceman

Rocket19 wrote: »

But I can. I don't understand why people assume I couldn't have fun "outside of drinking" just because I drink.

I play hockey, have a horse which takes up a lot of time, go shopping, do the general "hanging out" in parks and coffee shops and stuff. Am I missing something?
On a friday/saturday night or whatever, my friends go to bars/go clubbing and I go along. I like doing this, I do it regularly, but its not like its the only thing I know how to do.

I'm gonna see the guy again - he was cool, but if it does go further, I can see it potentially being an issue. But I guess this is totally dependent on his attitude towards my drinking. Tbh I couldn't care less if he doesn't drink, so long as he is cool with the fact I do.

it doesn't sound like it is dependent on his attitude to your drinking, but rather your own attitude. You are talkig about him as if he is disabled or something. Is your drinking something to be embarrassed about?

I drink as do most but not all of my friends, however I dont have to be a tea totaller to see when someone is an idiot when they're drunk.

Your question is pretty insulting to drinkers and non drinkers as it suggests that people can only enjoy themselves and other people's company when they're drinking. Sounds like your potential bf isn't the one with the problem...

flutterflye

Guill wrote: »

How dare you call me that

Huh?

Are you not here?

The King of Moo

It's funny, in lots of other countries in the world, a thread entitled "Could you go out with someone who drinks regularly?" would probably be more common.

While the OP has pointed out that her life doesn't revolve drink and she doesn't think the guy's weird, the fact that it's a relevant question at all just shows how much drinking is part of our culture.
As someone mentioned above it's the passive acceptance of it as something normal that's the problem. It's the people who say things like "Sure everyone else'll be drinking so I'll have to drink as well" that contribute to this country's massive drinking problem.
It's also the very common but subtle ways many people make it clear that to them it's pretty much not socially acceptable to go drinking, especially on designated days for drinking. For example, I never go drinking on St. Patrick's Day as it's always a horrible, crowded mess. Two years ago it was very sunny so I went to the beach with friends and had a quiet pint or two. But I know so many people who can't possibly fathom not going for a session on Patrick's Day or Saturday night and look at you like you've just masturbated in public if you tell them you're not going out.
Drinking should be simply one of many possible social activities a person does, and not considered as something integral to who they are.

For the record, both I and my girlfriend (she's not Irish) like a drink now and then, though we generally don't go to the pub or club on the weekend (cinema or a meal out is more common for us), but will go out for parties, work dos etc. and have a few drinks and have a good time. We'll also sometimes have a few drinks at home, and with meals, and occasionally get a little drunk, but we'd never deliberately go for a session and it's not a big part of our lives at all.

Unfortunately for many in this country, drinking a lot is just something to be done automatically and unnquestioningly.

df1985

Wouldnt have a problem with them not drinking once they dont have a problem with me not able to get the key in the door at 3 in the morning and they have to put me to bed....fair deal?

J_E

df1985 wrote: »

Wouldnt have a problem with them not drinking once they dont have a problem with me not able to get the key in the door at 3 in the morning and they have to put me to bed....fair deal?

If you can't be responsible for yourself don't expect people to pick up the mess after you. Not exactly fair, no.

Rocket19

faceman wrote: »

it doesn't sound like it is dependent on his attitude to your drinking, but rather your own attitude. You are talkig about him as if he is disabled or something. Is your drinking something to be embarrassed about?

I drink as do most but not all of my friends, however I dont have to be a tea totaller to see when someone is an idiot when they're drunk.

Your question is pretty insulting to drinkers and non drinkers as it suggests that people can only enjoy themselves and other people's company when they're drinking. Sounds like your potential bf isn't the one with the problem...

I don't think its insulting to non-drinkers to suggest that they may not have as much fun as drinkers on a night out that mainly revolves around alcohol.
I certainly wouldn't find a club as appealing if I hadn't had a couple of drinks beforehand. Maybe that's just me? I can see how going to the pub for a few (and not drinking) would be fine, for example, as there's more of a social aspect to it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with him. We all know the damage alcohol does to our bodies, but I guess he chooses to do something most don't and give it up altogether. As I said, he is a personal trainer, so that's probably why he takes his health more seriously than most.
I think he's a fun guy anyway. When we met on the weekend, he was full of banter and a great laugh (and obviously sober) so its not like I'm afraid he's dry or something.

ALSO, I'm not embarassed by my drinking at all. When I go out I'll have like 4 or 5 drinks but I won't be knocking back a shoulder of vodka or anything (like some of my friends do). I like to be in control of myself
Even if I did drink more more, I don't see why I should be embarassed about it anyway.

Shenshen

The King of Moo wrote: »

It's funny, in lots of other countries in the world, a thread entitled "Could you go out with someone who drinks regularly?" would probably be more common.

While the OP has pointed out that her life doesn't revolve drink and she doesn't think the guy's weird, the fact that it's a relevant question at all just shows how much drinking is part of our culture.
As someone mentioned above it's the passive acceptance of it as something normal that's the problem. It's the people who say things like "Sure everyone else'll be drinking so I'll have to drink as well" that contribute to this country's massive drinking problem.
It's also the very common but subtle ways many people make it clear that to them it's pretty much not socially acceptable to go drinking, especially on designated days for drinking. For example, I never go drinking on St. Patrick's Day as it's always a horrible, crowded mess. Two years ago it was very sunny so I went to the beach with friends and had a quiet pint or two. But I know so many people who can't possibly fathom not going for a session on Patrick's Day or Saturday night and look at you like you've just masturbated in public if you tell them you're not going out.
Drinking should be simply one of many possible social activities a person does, and not considered as something integral to who they are.

For the record, both I and my girlfriend (she's not Irish) like a drink now and then, though we generally don't go to the pub or club on the weekend (cinema or a meal out is more common for us), but will go out for parties, work dos etc. and have a few drinks and have a good time. We'll also sometimes have a few drinks at home, and with meals, and occasionally get a little drunk, but we'd never deliberately go for a session and it's not a big part of our lives at all.

Unfortunately for many in this country, drinking a lot is just something to be done automatically and unnquestioningly.

To be honest, that was one of my jaw-on-the-floor moments when I first came to Ireland. I asked a colleague what she had done on the weekend, and she said, "Oh, I went drinking" ....

Not something you'd EVER hear anywhere else as answer to that question

The King of Moo

Shenshen wrote: »

To be honest, that was one of my jaw-on-the-floor moments when I first came to Ireland. I asked a colleague what she had done on the weekend, and she said, "Oh, I went drinking" ....

Not something you'd EVER hear anywhere else as answer to that question

Yeah, in most other countries alcohol is an accompaniment to an occasion or event, not an end in itself. Even so, it's still not that common in other countries on such occasions. I remember being in New York with a few lads for the summer when I was younger. We went out to a pub on Independence Day expecting it to be packed and were surprised to find it pretty quiet. Everyone else was outside enjoying the fireworks or having barbecues, and maybe with a few beers as well but not necessarily. We just assumed it'd be the same as St. Patrick's Day here.

VodkaShot

Personally I couldnt go out with someone who didnt drink, they'd remember everything from the night and would be able to tell you every embarrassing thing you said or did.
I'd also like to know the reason why they didn't drink

RichieC

If they don't drink and don't judge those that do it's all good, sure... but what's the chances... only a matter of time when he gets comfortable around you when he starts berating you about being drunk or holding things you did or said while out against you.

gym tards have small dicks too.

The King of Moo

VodkaShot wrote: »

Personally I couldnt go out with someone who didnt drink, they'd remember everything from the night and would be able to tell you every embarrassing thing you said or did.
I'd also like to know the reason why they didn't drink

But surely that wouldn't be a problem unless you did embarrassing things all the time.

And why does someone have to have a reason for not drinking?
Can't they just not want to drink?
Having to provide a reason for not drinking assumes that drinking is the norm and choosing not do so is deviating from that norm, which again, I think is one of the problems with the way we view drinking in this country.

Butterfly25

I'm not a drinker, I'll have 1 or 2 to be sociable but more often than not I have 7up or Club orange in my hand on a night out. I have no problem going to a pub or night club and still do all the usual things, in fact i'm probably the first one on the dance floor!

I'm probably the opposite, I'd prefer to go out with a non-drinker or a guy who wouldnt drink alot. I definitely wouldn't be with some one who's whole week/weekend revolved around drink.

NTMK

Cydoniac wrote: »

I am a little worried that when I go to uni next year I'm going to be judged for not drinking. I just hope people can see beyond that. What I'd hate is to go out with someone who can't seem to have a night out without getting drunk and acting stupid.

Trust me as someone whos gone through this. It wont be a problem most people are mature enough to realise this isnt an issue.

The only comment i get about it is Oh you dont drink, how the **** do you put up with nightclubs?:pac:

Anyone that has a problem with it isnt worth being around

VodkaShot

The King of Moo wrote: »

But surely that wouldn't be a problem unless you did embarrassing things all the time.

And why does someone have to have a reason for not drinking?
Can't they just not want to drink?
Having to provide a reason for not drinking assumes that drinking is the norm and choosing not do so is deviating from that norm, which again, I think is one of the problems with the way we view drinking in this country.

Whether people like it or not though in this country, drinking is the norm. At the weekend people go out drinking, so i'd be wondering why an Irish person born and raised here would choose not to, that's all.

Elle Collins

I could go out with someone who didn't drink alright, but only after I ascertained whether or not he was one of these sanctimonious fcukers who looks down his nose at others for enjoying a few jars.

NTMK

VodkaShot wrote: »

Whether people like it or not though in this country, drinking is the norm. At the weekend people go out drinking, so i'd be wondering why an Irish person born and raised here would choose not to, that's all.

why not? just because its the norm doesnt make it a requirement. I have various reasons for not drinking but i do have close friends that never had an interest in it so didnt start

Shenshen

VodkaShot wrote: »

Whether people like it or not though in this country, drinking is the norm. At the weekend people go out drinking, so i'd be wondering why an Irish person born and raised here would choose not to, that's all.

Because they don't like the taste of alcohol?
I've got a good few friends who don't drink for that reason.
Me, I don't because I hate being hung over.

Shenshen

NTMK wrote: »

why not? just because its the norm doesnt make it a requirement. I have various reasons for not drinking but i do have close friends that never had an interest in it so didnt start

It is a bit like asking people why they don't smoke...

coffee_cake

Shenshen wrote: »

It is a bit like asking people why they don't smoke...

I have got that before. Luckily I didn't get it again after we all grew up a little.
I always liken it to criticising someone's choice of food...

Aurum

I know that I'm probably in a tiny minority here. I'm in my mid twenties, I've been at Uni for the last six years (I'm just finishing up my Postgrad degree) and I've never been drunk. Ever. The most that I've ever had to drink is a glass and a half of wine or champagne. Excessive drinking is such a strange thing to me, I just don't get it. Having a drink or two during a meal or after film/gig/play etc. is perfectly fine but spending a whole evening, drinking to just get drunk, is such a weird (and bloody boring) thing. And OP, you're quite lucky. Try finding a friend or partner in their twenties in Ireland who either doesn't drink or who only drinks moderately. Trust me, it's difficult.

ballsymchugh

RichieC wrote: »

If they don't drink and don't judge those that do it's all good, sure... but what's the chances... only a matter of time when he gets comfortable around you when he starts berating you about being drunk or holding things you did or said while out against you.

gym tards have small dicks too.

she's already berating him for not drinking.

i'm teetotal, and have been on the other side of this a few times in the past couple of years, where i've been chatting away to someone for a while and when it came to getting a drink, their face would drop when i'm not ordering alcohol for myself. it's retarded that people have the attitude that they can't trust a non-drinker.
thankfully, the OP and others like her are in a very very small minority.

whatdoicare

Meh, wouldn't bother me - the husband never bothered with drink and I like a glass or three of wine on a night out.....never was an issue, actually, if anything he likes it when im a bit merry....can't imagine why...heh heh....:p