Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

Shenshen

Spread wrote: »

Guten Abend Shenshen!

Nobody forces anyone. It's just some people resist

C'mon now! A glass of Sherry

Neither would Jaegermeister. Although it might affect your self esteem.

Nobody is saying "everyone does" .......... but you'll find the the one's that do, smile more

Possibly, but then they also get violent more often, not to forget throw up more...

Shenshen

Spread wrote: »

Exactly! But here, as in schone Deutsch, talking is verboten in Theatres and Cinemas. Now unless you are communicating in sign language ........ which will also complicate things with other viewers .......

Only while the show is on...

wild_cat

I went out with a non drinker when I was younger. At the time I was hanging out with a very messy drinking group and his friends rarely drank. Even when I got the giggles/tipsy from wine he'd tell me I was being messy. Didn't go down to well with anyone.


Went on a date with another none drinker a year or two later. On enquiring about my drinking habits he called me a mess to. Only on the amount I drank, no other evidence suggested that I was messy... at least to him.

It has two coins though!

Went on another date with a very heavy drinker who piled the vodka into me. He was drinking pints like water and kept purchasing me a short every time he went to get another pint for himself. I stupidly drank them as I didn't want to seem rude. Ended up with him hanging out of a taxi singing and me having the spins. One of the worse dates ever. Well educated bloke to with an amazing career but I couldn't handle that kind of thing every weekend.

Now I'm in a relationship where the two of us are almost fanatical about buckfast and its great.

If he is the right person, you'll know.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.

Awesome

It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

He's a personal trainer? I'd imagine he's pretty fit?

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

This is quite an immature comment, you might want to take a look at your life and see if it's really what you want. Not even taking into account the amount of damage you are doing to your body.

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life.

Why? Not drinking doesn't mean jack shít.

(Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?

They can be. Depending on how drunk they actually are.

Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Don't act the fool? Just an idea.

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).

Yes

I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

Dependence? I don't think it's as dominant as people make it out to be.

Instead of asking an internet forum, why not date him for a while and see how it goes?

VodkaShot wrote: »

It's strange to you because you've never been drunk, dont knock it until you try it. There's no point only having one or two, you may aswell be drinking coke/7up etc it's cheaper.

VodkaShot wrote: »

Personally I couldnt go out with someone who didnt drink, they'd remember everything from the night and would be able to tell you every embarrassing thing you said or did.
I'd also like to know the reason why they didn't drink

Very mature comment... wow.

Maybe the reason they don't drink is a legitimate reason? Like most?

VodkaShot wrote: »

Whether people like it or not though in this country, drinking is the norm. At the weekend people go out drinking, so i'd be wondering why an Irish person born and raised here would choose not to, that's all.

Seriously, this must be a troll account. There is no way anybody over the age of 12 can come up with something like this. How is this a nationality thing? If you are born and raised here you must drink every weekend or you are a weirdo? Seriously, think about the stupidity of that statement. You obviously don't know much about alcohol.

Biggins

wild_cat wrote: »

...I'm in a relationship where the two of us are almost fanatical about buckfast and its great.

Honestly... I hope to heavens there is more to your relationship than just a good part of it revolving around Buckfast!
(And god help your liver for drinking copious amounts of that stuff alone!)

If thats just the case - please don't have kids till ye ease up on the drink at least!

ceadaoin.

VodkaShot wrote: »

It's strange to you because you've never been drunk, dont knock it until you try it. There's no point only having one or two, you may aswell be drinking coke/7up etc it's cheaper.

I've been drunk loads of times but now I much prefer having one or two. TBH I don't see the point in drinking to get drunk. There's loads of reasons for this

-1 or 2 glasses of wine has a relaxing effect without getting pissed and making a show of yourself
-No hangover the next day or puking your guts up later in the night
-You can hold a decent conversation etc etc

Not to mention the supposed health benefits of moderate drinking.

It sounds like you would be one of the people trying to bully non drinkers into having a drink, calling them dry sh!tes and generally just being obnoxious. Says more about your insecurties re your own drinking IMO

Seachmall

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

This is quite an immature comment, you might want to take a look at your life and see if it's really what you want. Not even taking into account the amount of damage you are doing to your body.

No it's not. College age people do drink a lot. We know it's dangerous but it's a choice we make. Sure you can have fun without drinking but the fact is some people enjoy getting drunk and letting go of their inhibitions for a few hours.

wild_cat wrote:

Even when I got the giggles/tipsy from wine he'd tell me I was being messy.

Girls giggling when they're drunk does get pretty annoying.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Seachmall wrote: »

No it's not. College age people do drink a lot. We know it's dangerous but it's a choice we make. Sure you can have fun without drinking but the fact is some people enjoy getting drunk and letting go of their inhibitions for a few hours.

Girls giggling when they're drunk does get pretty annoying.

What the hell age is a college age person???

Seachmall

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

What the hell age is a college age person???

Someone between the ages of 18-24.

Biggins

wild_cat wrote: »

...Even when I got the giggles/tipsy from wine he'd tell me I was being messy. Didn't go down to well with anyone.

By the way, it might not have occured to you but maybe you were being 'messy' ?

Also don't mistake any silent friends that were there as agreeing with you, just because they might have said nothing or even agreed with you just for the sake of not wishing to upset a friendship.

Who don't know loads of cases where friends just nod along in agreement for the sake of not wishing to find themselves in a sudden drama or bad situation?

If your told a number of times by many non-connected people, individually that there might be a problem, I would if I had any sense at least start to look at what they are going on about and see if there was any validation to their notions. Thats if I still had the mental capacity to do so and hopefully not gone down too far one road that I couldn't see alternative views.

wild_cat

Biggins wrote: »

Honestly... I hope to heavens there is more to your relationship than just a good part of it revolving around Buckfast!
(And god help your liver for drinking copious amounts of that stuff alone!)

If thats just the case - please don't have kids till ye ease up on the drink at least!

Ha jaysus! Tonnes of other stuff!

That's just one added bonus.

We won't be having children as we share the same view on the environmental impacts of having a child, not lifestyle but to the earth. Well maybe a tiny bit has to do with lifestyle as well. Don't worry biggins I won't be rearing any tyrants with buckfast stains on their clothes!

We're also into the same food, politics, architecture, travel and music. The buckfast thing is just the cherry on top!


I have also just realised that the pair of us are big fecking hippies. Good lord, thanks for that.

Shenshen

VodkaShot wrote: »

It's strange to you because you've never been drunk, dont knock it until you try it. There's no point only having one or two, you may aswell be drinking coke/7up etc it's cheaper.

THAT is something I'll never get about drinkers...

I do have a pint on a night out, but that's it. One, two at the very most. I drink them because I like the taste, no other reason. I stop after two because I want to AVOID getting drunk, because I just utterly hate that.

Most people here seem to be my exact opposite... they couldn't care less about what their drink tastes like, as long as they get hammered quickly on it.

I seriously do not get that.

Biggins

wild_cat wrote: »

Ha jaysus! Tonnes of other stuff!

That's just one added bonus.

We won't be having children as we share the same view on the environmental impacts of having a child, not lifestyle but to the earth. Well maybe a tiny bit has to do with lifestyle as well.

We're also into the same food, politics, architecture, travel and music. The buckfast thing is just the cherry on top!

Good to hear and I wish ye well.

Seachmall

Shenshen wrote: »

I seriously do not get that.

To get drunk. Some people enjoy being drunk.

stargazer 68

This has kind of turned into a 'everyone who drinks is a drunk' thread!!

Back on the point. No I wouldnt date a non drinker. And its not because I like to go out and get drunk its simply because I like to go out and have a beer or glass of wine every now and then and dont feel comfortable if who Im with isn't.

Abi

It's never been an issue for me, so I can't say if it would bother me or not. I'd never make a mess of myself with drink, but I'd be lost without my wine. I just find I can wind down and relax with it.


I wouldn't question a non-drinker, though I'd expect not to be judged either.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Seachmall wrote: »

Someone between the ages of 18-24.

That's the most ridiculous thing I have heard in recent times. "Hi my name is Xavier and I am the age of a college age person..."

Shenshen wrote: »

THAT is something I'll never get about drinkers...

I do have a pint on a night out, but that's it. One, two at the very most. I drink them because I like the taste, no other reason. I stop after two because I want to AVOID getting drunk, because I just utterly hate that.

Most people here seem to be my exact opposite... they couldn't care less about what their drink tastes like, as long as they get hammered quickly on it.

I seriously do not get that.

It normally comes from the 15-18 year olds. The lack of understanding when it comes to drinking without the aim of getting rat arsed.

You will also find that this is not most people.

Shenshen

Seachmall wrote: »

To get drunk. Some people enjoy being drunk.

I gathered that.
I just never came across them outside of Ireland and the UK... it's a very odd thing to do to most of mankind.

The average person doesn't enjoy feeling dizzy and sick, and waking up sick, with headaches, dehydrated and generally feeling like dying.
Irish people do seem to, though.

Shenshen

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

It normally comes from the 15-18 year olds. The lack of understanding when it comes to drinking without the aim of getting rat arsed.

You will also find that this is not most people.

I didn't know it even existed until I came here.
Having fun and a drink is one thing, listening to your 30-40 year old colleagues one-upping each other on a Monday morning about how much they drank and how bad they felt afterwards on the Sunday is... well, one of the odder things of Irish culture.

Biggins

Dovies wrote: »

...No I wouldnt date a non drinker. And its not because I like to go out and get drunk its simply because I like to go out and have a beer or glass of wine every now and then and dont feel comfortable if who Im with isn't.

Thats an absolutely fair enough comment.
I can get and understand that. Each to their absolute own.
Nobody agrees or feels the same way totally as everyone else.
A person can only go on what is comfortable to them.
There might be reasons why they feel that way and honestly, most of the time its none of our business why they feel that way - unless they offer background info as such otherwise.

Seachmall

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

That's the most ridiculous thing I have heard in recent times. "Hi my name is Xavier and I am the age of a college age person..."

Actually it's an extremely common term to refer to that age group. You'll notice it's used about a half a dozen times in this thread (including the post you originally quoted).

Shenshen wrote:

The average person doesn't enjoy feeling dizzy and sick, and waking up sick, with headaches, dehydrated and generally feeling like dying.

Not everybody gets like that though. Most people know their limits and drink to their limits. Last week I went out of limits (I drank a bottle of JD) and still came nowhere near feeling dizzy and sick and woke up in perfect health. Getting drunk doesn't mean you are near passing out, although some people do get that bad.

wild_cat

Biggins wrote: »

By the way, it might not have occured to you but maybe you were being 'messy' ?

Also don't mistake any silent friends that were there as agreeing with you, just because they might have said nothing or even agreed with you just for the sake of not wishing to upset a friendship.

Who don't know loads of cases where friends just nod along in agreement for the sake of not wishing to find themselves in a sudden drama or bad situation?

If your told a number of times by many non-connected people, individually that there might be a problem, I would if I had any sense at least start to look at what they are going on about and see if there was any validation to their notions. Thats if I still had the mental capacity to do so and hopefully not gone down too far one road that I couldn't see alternative views.

Not really. I never fell down, slurred my speech, started frights, puked or anything in front of him. He was very naive and had never been around people who were that into it. We were young like. I was hanging around with people who were puking and falling around the place. I'd say to him that I thought they were awful messy altogether and he might have thought it was a way to stop me from drinking. As he didn't like it, but as soon as I started to get a bit of a red glow from a bit of wine he'd roll out the your being messy thing. I would have been overly on my guard about it around him to, so there was no way I was being messy.

I won't tell you his reaction when someone tried to smoke a joint around him for the first time.


I told the other guy I liked buckfast and he then called me messy.

Both were very naive about what others got up to due to their own social circles. I would have been under the age of 20 when all of this happened.

I'm actually not a messy drunk or not any more when your 16 things are different. As a result of being judged like that when I go out now and feel like I'm getting drunk I will stay stum and not speak for fear as being seen as messy. I've been told that my perception of myself is totally flawed when I enquire If I am being too loud etc.

I've seen enough people with horrible alcohol problems to know what is right and what is wrong. People who were messy in their teens are still going around pissing in public, puking on themselves etc.

Biggins

wild_cat wrote: »

Not really. I never fell down, slurred my speech, started frights, puked or anything in front of him... etc...

Well you come across as 'sound' enough.
It also sound like you had the unfortunate occurrence to come across some odd folk who royally had a stick up their ass by the looks of things!

Stuff them. There is better out there.

Shenshen

Seachmall wrote: »

Not everybody gets like that though. Most people know their limits and drink to their limits. Last week I went out of limits (I drank a bottle of JD) and still came nowhere near feeling dizzy and sick and woke up in perfect health. Getting drunk doesn't mean you are near passing out, although some people do get that bad.

In all fairness, that should be a cause of concern, drinking a bottle of whiskey and not feeling the effects...

Seachmall

wild_cat wrote: »

...

Some people just don't like being around drunk people when they're sober. I hate it, even if my mates aren't that drunk I just can't stand it. That's why I wouldn't date a non-drinker, I wouldn't like to put them in that situation but I also wouldn't like to change my lifestyle (which I quite enjoy).

Shenshen wrote:

In all fairness, that should be a cause of concern, drinking a bottle of whiskey and not feeling the effects...

I was definitely drunk but I wasn't stumbling or feeling dizzy or anything. I chatted to a couple of gardai (casual banter) and got into a club with no hassle. Some people can get drunk, enjoy it and not make a tit of themselves (although I know a couple who get drunk off little drink and make fools of themselves).

wild_cat

Biggins wrote: »

Well you come across as 'sound' enough.
It also sound like you had the unfortunate occurrence to come across some odd folk who royally had stick up their ass by the looks of things!

Stuff them. There is better out there.

I know!!

The worst thing I do now is fall asleep.

I find intelligence and weirdness as beautiful traits in people so when I was finding people to date when I was younger I'd come across some complete odd balls.

Much to the dismay of my social group who would name the non drinker "dry shite" or "Mammy's boy". Maybe that poor chap I mentioned first just wanted to get away from my friends!

He drinks himself now and all. Knocks back Guinness, perhaps the social pressure got to him once he reached college.

bryaner

Shenshen wrote: »

I gathered that.
I just never came across them outside of Ireland and the UK... it's a very odd thing to do to most of mankind.

The average person doesn't enjoy feeling dizzy and sick, and waking up sick, with headaches, dehydrated and generally feeling like dying.
Irish people do seem to, though.

Do you live in Ireland? If so surely you have seen our eastern European friends.

wild_cat

Seachmall wrote: »

Some people just don't like being around drunk people when they're sober. I hate it, even if my mates aren't that drunk I just can't stand it. That's why I wouldn't date a non-drinker, I wouldn't like to put them in that situation but I also wouldn't like to change my lifestyle (which I quite enjoy).

He knew that was my social circle. He was well able to stand up for himself so he should have said it to me out right instead of being slightly passive aggressive about it.


-So all and all I guess it is a deal breaker if you hang around with people who turn into complete gob****es when they have drink in them.

Biggins

wild_cat wrote: »

...He drinks himself now and all. Knocks back Guinness, perhaps the social pressure got to him once he reached college.

I hope at least he didn't get splinters as he was withdrawing the stick, when he hopefully kopped on! :pac:

Shenshen

bryaner wrote: »

Do you live in Ireland? If so surely you have seen our eastern European friends.

I do now... I work with a few of them. None of them brag about drinking, and the few times we've been out as a team they sat and watched just as open-mouthed as me.