Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

faceman

Dovies wrote: »

Back on the point. No I wouldnt date a non drinker. And its not because I like to go out and get drunk its simply because I like to go out and have a beer or glass of wine every now and then and dont feel comfortable if who Im with isn't.

Do you drink coffee? Assuming you do, would you go out with someone who didn't drink coffee? If you went for a coffee in a coffee shop, would you not feel comfortable if the other person didnt drink coffee?

I'd assume that would e barny. So why is alcohol different?

bryaner

Shenshen wrote: »

I do now... I work with a few of them. None of them brag about drinking, and the few times we've been out as a team they sat and watched just as open-mouthed as me.

Funny that, a bunch of them came into the local one Saturday eve claiming the Irish were stupid for drinking beer as it wasn't strong enough, they can be seen falling around the streets at any given hour every weekend.

I have no problem with them, I'm just giving a comparison to another drinking culture and I think they win hands down as they seem to drink to get pissed at every given opportunity.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Seachmall wrote: »

Actually it's an extremely common term to refer to that age group. You'll notice it's used about a half a dozen times in this thread (including the post you originally quoted).

Obviously it's not, this is the first thread I have ever heard it in. Never heard it used before. It's a pretty silly term.

Seachmall

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

Obviously it's not, this is the first thread I have ever heard it in. Never heard it used before. It's a pretty silly term.

It's a grand term when referring to people in that age range. It's even used in medical papers (dated 1995).

Just because you haven't heard it used before doesn't make it a ridiculous or uncommon term.

splendid101

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

I think you should put this in the "Stingiest thing you've seen stingey people do" cos sound like this t*ght m*therf*cker's too f*ckin' t*ght to f*ckin' drink. What a f*ckin' stingey c*nt!

Biggins

splendid101 wrote: »

...t*ght m*therf*cker's too f*ckin' t*ght to f*ckin' drink. What a f*ckin' stingey c*nt!

:eek:

You didn't take the lords name in vain - what the hell is wrong with you!

old hippy

Shenshen wrote: »

I didn't know it even existed until I came here.
Having fun and a drink is one thing, listening to your 30-40 year old colleagues one-upping each other on a Monday morning about how much they drank and how bad they felt afterwards on the Sunday is... well, one of the odder things of Irish culture.

Most cultures enjoy a drink but it is true, we tend to stand out amongst our brothers and sisters in the global village

The bragging thing? Well, it's all we have nowadays, so give us a break

Sometimes I miss the camaraderie and craic involved with such nights out, as I live away from the country... sometimes!

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Seachmall wrote: »

It's a grand term when referring to people in that age range. It's even used in medical papers (dated 1995).

Just because you haven't heard it used before doesn't make it a ridiculous or uncommon term.

Now you are taking the piss...

Seachmall

Skyler Brave Shellfish wrote: »

Now you are taking the piss...

Now we're getting off-topic. "College-Aged" is a reasonable term to refer to 18-24 year olds. You haven't heard of it before, you have now. It's commonly used and has been for years, now that you're aware of it and know what it means enjoy it. It's a fun term, I'm sure you'll find your life will never be the same.

Spread

Non drinking is OK, but like drinking - should be practiced in moderation.

J_E

Spread wrote: »

Non drinking is OK, but like drinking - should be practiced in moderation.

That makes no sense whatsoever. You're a stupid troll.

Spread

Cydoniac wrote: »

That makes no sense whatsoever. You're a stupid troll.

Another non-drinker without a sense of humour. Or do I have to put :rolleyes: over every smart-ass retort. Lighten up please!

NTMK

Spread wrote: »

Non drinking is OK, but like drinking - should be practiced in moderation.

:rolleyes:

PhilipJ

Novella wrote: »

Yup, a non-drinker would be right up my street. I'm just not a fan of the going out every weekend just to get drunk mentality. I'd prefer a non-drinker to a person whose entire social life revolved around alcohol. Different strokes and all that.

Me too!

wild_cat

Ceadaoin why did you like a post insinuating I had an alcohol problem?

Assume much?

ceadaoin.

wild_cat wrote: »

Ceadaoin why did you like a post insinuating I had an alcohol problem?

Assume much?

I agree with this bit that Biggins posted. Just as general sentiments really, nothing particular to you. Defensive much?

Who don't know loads of cases where friends just nod along in agreement for the sake of not wishing to find themselves in a sudden drama or bad situation?

If your told a number of times by many non-connected people, individually that there might be a problem, I would if I had any sense at least start to look at what they are going on about and see if there was any validation to their notions. Thats if I still had the mental capacity to do so and hopefully not gone down too far one road that I couldn't see alternative views.

wild_cat

ceadaoin. wrote: »

I agree with this bit that Biggins posted. Just as general sentiments really, nothing particular to you. Defensive much?

My apologies I thought you were on an anti drinking buzz after seeing a few of your other posts on boards.ie

ceadaoin.

wild_cat wrote: »

My apologies I thought you were on an anti drinking buzz after seeing a few of your other posts on boards.ie

I'm not at all, I enjoy a couple of drinks as much as the next person. I just dislike the whole going out to get smashed drunk and then bragging about it culture that goes on in Ireland and the UK (and probably other places too).

You clarified in your further posts that what Biggins was saying wasn't the case with you anyway. I just thought it was good advice, thats all

Rocket19

kjl wrote: »

It's funny, I think the OP is actually insecure. She has a very immature attitude about intoxication and really needs to grow up a little. If you were to ask any of my friends they would tell you that I am the most fun in my group of friends. Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't know how to have a good time. I think the people in this country need to realize that it is possible to have a good time without being intoxicated and I think because we have forgotten this fact the attitudes like the OP's arise.

Truth is that the main reason people think that a non drinker can't be any fun is because they are no fun without alcohol.

I never onces suggested that a non-drinker couldn't be the "life of the party", have a "good time" or that they are in any way less fun than people who drink.
Don't you think I would obviously agree with you? I did take the guy's number after all. I obviously liked the person he was.

I'm confused as to why you seem to take offence to the fact I suggested a non-drinker might not enjoy a nightclub.
You obviously do, that's fine.
Its just, in my opinion at least, nightclubs aren't usually that social anyway. They are, by default, full of drunk people, hot, overcrowded, and full of alcohol. I personally wouldn't like going to one without a few drinks in me. Maybe that's just me.
I don't think its ignorant of me to at least consider the possibility that a non-drinker would not see the fun in such an environment. I'm not saying that they couldn't or don't do so.

Also, and maybe this is the insecurity you talked about, I would be afraid that a sober guy wouldn't want to hang out with me when I'm drunk. Not because I'm a mess, but because I would never want him to feel like he had to 'mind' or anything like that.
Also (and you touched on this), most (sober) guys I know wouldn't even want to get with a drunk girl. Its creepy.
Doesn't that kinda put pressure on me not to drink? I certainly don't want the guy to feel as if he's taking advantage of me or something (even if he isn't) Why would I want to put him in that situation.
Maybe I'm over-thinking this.

The reason I started the thread was because this new 'relationship' made me think about the activities I usually partake in (espeically on the weekends) and how closely alcohol is related to many of these activities.
You can't deny the drinking culture is shocking here in Ireland and for many it, to a certain extent, affects our lives (what we do, where we go, the 'kinds' of relationships we form with certain people).
Its interesting to me how the fact this guy doesn't drink sort of changes my approach in how I'd date him, where we'd go, whatever.
I'm quite possibly turning something trivial into something 'important' here, but meh.

Oh, and I never, ever, ever said that non-drinkers can't be any fun. Did you make that up? I don't think it would even occur to me to push a drink on someone who didn't want one, or call them boring!

ghostchant

I stopped drinking over a year ago now, because I was getting really bad hangovers after 1 or 2 drinks and it just wasn't worth the money/hassle. I like the taste of beer but non-alcoholic beer tastes pretty good to me too as it happens! My gf of almost 3 years drinks and she has no real problem with my not drinking, and we still regularly head out to clubs/restaurants etc where she'll have a drink if she wants one, and I simply won't. Not a whole lot different than before if I'm being honest I'm not a huge fan of clubs, but I never was when I was drinking either, but I don't find them any worse now, and still venture out on the dance floor from time to time.

Actually one time a few people we were out with were joking about putting something (a shot or something) into my drink when I was away from the table, and my gf was far more angry that they were taking issue with the not drinking than I was! (and I repeat that they were only joking)

Lord TSC

I was actually tempted to start a thread like this but found one using the board's search function. Since it's relevant to my interests, I'll post here. Not been too long since the last post so hopefully people won't mind the bump...

I'm a non-drinker, 24, who has never drank and never will and who can't stand pubs and clubs. The few times I've been in either, I've counted the seconds till I could get the hell out. Its not that I judge people or anything. If people want to drink, that's up to them. It's more the fact I'm treated like a freak because I'm not drinking. I've heard of plots on two occassions to get me drunk against my will. I've lost contact with a lot of friends over drinking. It's the complete lack of willingness to accept my beliefs which annoy the **** out of me.

But the worst for me is the self-confidence issues which come because I'm a non-drinker. I'd have no problem going out with a drinker, provided she didn't expect me to go along to the pubs and clubs. But I can't help but feel the sentiments would not be returned. There was one girl last year who I thought was magnificent; funny, sexy, and I think into me, cause she kind of asked me out in round about ways twice. But the first time I met her, within two minutes, she had told two stories about how drunk she had got in recent times. And over the year I spent working with her, the stories continued.

And it's not that I judge her. I want to stress that. We all find fun in our own ways. She didn't know I was a non-drinker and in fairness, these types of stories seem to be the norm in Irish culture. But it left me with a permenant feeling of inadequecy when around her; a feeling that if I revealed I was a nondrinker, it would turn her off (for reasons some people have expressed in this topic; not trusting non-drinkers, thinking they are "dry ****es", etc). Likewise, it carries over to other girls who seem into me but who I'm worried about asking out cause I know in Ireland, drink is such a vital part of life that as a complete non-drinker, I'm going to be rejected and tossed aside with horrible insults thrown at me (as has been done in the past).

It's frustrating in Ireland. I find myself stuck in a situation where I know I'd be happiest finding a girl who doesn't drink and would prefer to find social options outside pubs and clubs, but find it impossible to figure out a way to actually meet said girls, since when you ask people where they meet others, it's in the places I want to avoid :S

Mike 1972

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

I've heard of plots on two occassions to get me drunk against my will.

FFS This kind of thing should be treated as a crime with greater penelties than those currently applicable to drug dealing.

Asphyxia

Yeah totally, just because they don't drink doesn't mean they or you wont have a good night.

NTMK

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

for reasons some people have expressed in this topic; not trusting non-drinkers,

uh i ****ing hate this i get this from my best friends parents.whats even stranger is the fact they've known me since i was 4 and liked me until they found out i dont drink

Show Time

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

I was actually tempted to start a thread like this but found one using the board's search function. Since it's relevant to my interests, I'll post here. Not been too long since the last post so hopefully people won't mind the bump...

I'm a non-drinker, 24, who has never drank and never will and who can't stand pubs and clubs. The few times I've been in either, I've counted the seconds till I could get the hell out. Its not that I judge people or anything. If people want to drink, that's up to them. It's more the fact I'm treated like a freak because I'm not drinking. I've heard of plots on two occassions to get me drunk against my will. I've lost contact with a lot of friends over drinking. It's the complete lack of willingness to accept my beliefs which annoy the **** out of me.

But the worst for me is the self-confidence issues which come because I'm a non-drinker. I'd have no problem going out with a drinker, provided she didn't expect me to go along to the pubs and clubs. But I can't help but feel the sentiments would not be returned. There was one girl last year who I thought was magnificent; funny, sexy, and I think into me, cause she kind of asked me out in round about ways twice. But the first time I met her, within two minutes, she had told two stories about how drunk she had got in recent times. And over the year I spent working with her, the stories continued.

And it's not that I judge her. I want to stress that. We all find fun in our own ways. She didn't know I was a non-drinker and in fairness, these types of stories seem to be the norm in Irish culture. But it left me with a permenant feeling of inadequecy when around her; a feeling that if I revealed I was a nondrinker, it would turn her off (for reasons some people have expressed in this topic; not trusting non-drinkers, thinking they are "dry ****es", etc). Likewise, it carries over to other girls who seem into me but who I'm worried about asking out cause I know in Ireland, drink is such a vital part of life that as a complete non-drinker, I'm going to be rejected and tossed aside with horrible insults thrown at me (as has been done in the past).

It's frustrating in Ireland. I find myself stuck in a situation where I know I'd be happiest finding a girl who doesn't drink and would prefer to find social options outside pubs and clubs, but find it impossible to figure out a way to actually meet said girls, since when you ask people where they meet others, it's in the places I want to avoid :S

I said this a while back in the thread and i hope you don't mind if i post it again.
"It takes a good man to have a drink but it takes a better man to say no to a drink."

bnt

NTMK wrote: »

uh i ****ing hate this i get this from my best friends parents.whats even stranger is the fact they've known me since i was 4 and liked me until they found out i dont drink

They must think you're a Goody Two Shoes: don't drink, don't smoke ... what do you do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGsKL-yMmnc

Personally, I think it's important to understand why someone doesn't drink. If the person has never drunk at all, or stopped because of a drinking problem, those are warning signs IMHO. "Tried it, didn't like it" is more reassuring.

Mike 1972

NTMK wrote: »

whats even stranger is the fact they've known me since i was 4 and liked me until they found out i dont drink

You mean when you were 4 they assumed that you drank ???

Ficheall

Mike 1972 wrote: »

You mean when you were 4 they assumed that you drank ???

I was made for sherry and whiskey when I was a little 'un. Grandmother was always generous, but I'm fairly sure myself and the cousin raided the drinks cabinet a couple of times. I don't drink now though.

NTMK

Mike 1972 wrote: »

You mean when you were 4 they assumed that you drank ???

No what i was trying to say was that theyve known me since i was a kid and their opinion of me and attitude around me changed very quickly when they found out i was a non-drinker at 17

Vicxas

I dated a girl that didnt drink for a while.


Didnt appreciate the ****e she used to say about me that i did when i was drunk that i didnt do, that relationship didnt last very long.