Any Advice for Choosing College... Home or Away?

wayhey

No I don't mean going to college in Summer Bay. Attractiveness is probably required along with the points..

I'm just wondering what's influencing people's college choices, obviously apart from what they want to do! I'd really appreciate any advice that any of you have because I'm a little bit confused myself. I know this is a bit long but I really have no-one to advise me, I'd be grateful for any input whatsoever, because I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this over the next few days.

I did my Leaving Certificate last year and got a respectable-enough 475 points. I want to do Medicine though, so I went back to repeat. Yep, I know it's a massive climb up. I hope I've done it but I'm 90% sure I haven't got it based on how my exams have gone so far. I do hope to go up a bit though. Anyway, I got offered Science last year in Trinity and turned it down to repeat. Now the CAO is up soon and I still don't have my choices sorted.

I've generally been looking at courses in the areas of human biology and a healthcare job, Nursing, Occupational Therapy. Lately I've been thinking about Science Education in Maynooth. I have to say that I've been looking at all these courses with the possibility of going on to do graduate medicine afterwards. Maybe that's a bit naive.

The reason I'm so attracted to the Science Ed degree is because it offers study in what I'm interested in, a science degree and the chance to teach as well without doing a HDip. Loads of options afterwards. I've also been thinking about an Irish/French degree- I like studying languages, partly because I find them hard. I think that with the potential teaching job though I could learn stuff like that in the summer, for the rest of my life, and always have a science degree to go back to if I didn't like teaching. Which I don't expect to hate or anything, I've always liked working with young people and I think I would be a good teacher.

If I did Science Ed I know my parents would intend that I drive over all the time. It's not far away, maybe 40-45 minutes and I can drive already and we've a second car. Hell I wouldn't even mind the commuting, what bothers me would be still living at home. My family are not easy to live with. We live in a small, rural area with few facilities. I've great mates, if we do anything though it's going out at the weekend partying (obviously I haven't been doing that this year!) But transport is, as most of you know, virtually non-existent in Ireland outside Dublin. And I mean we have nothing. It's taxis everywhere. I easily spend more going somewhere than actually being there.

I'm probably coming off as an immature twat- but I'm not a fool. I don't want to miss out on the college experience because I'm still at home. My parents have a vastly different social life to me- they're quite happy to stay at home watching television every night, every week. They're quite happy not to have friends to socialise with outside our house. That's absolutely fine, I can understand that they are at a different stage in their lives than me. But they expect me to share it: I know one of my last posts, on which RandyLonghorn replied, was about going out. Over the 9 month period I have gone out, I would say.. 3 nights, maybe 4 at most. I don't exclusively mean nights out with my friends in the pub/club. I mean nights out full stop...going to even see a friend or to the cinema or something. I've worked absolutely flat out this year and even if I get Medicine I don't intend replicating such an unhealthy, unsociable pattern next year. My parents don't see anything wrong with that though.

The only factor preventing me from ruling out Maynooth completely is the flexibility of the degree and the potential saving for my parents of living at home. But I'm not sure the saving will even be worth it financially if I need 90 mins worth of petrol 5 days a week. I should say at this point my second choice is Galway... I could live with my brother there so hopefully the costs would not be too bad. And either way I expect to chip in wherever I end up by holding onto a weekend job.

Case in point, my mother just pulled in arguing with my 18 year old sister trying to tell her to do something. My older brother moved out to go to college and says he chose his course, at the time, to move out as well as choosing something to do. Pretty sure my mother is a full-on neurotic; she expects calls at least every 2nd day from my 26 year old brother. If I want to go out at weekends it isn't seen as acceptable. Whenever we have an argument, and I mean in 20 years, my parents have never apologised to me. There is no mature, reasonable discussion about disagreements in our house. They believe that they are right, no matter what. I am regularly frozen out of discussions about family talks about a sick relative. The only time I get out to clear my head is, ironically, buried either in some Leaving Cert study. My friends are great, they really are- but I cannot blame them for growing tired with me when they make an effort to ask me out to any event, even their college ones, and I have repeatedly had to say no because my parents disapprove. I could understand this if I was some sort of wild party animal but I have always been a model student and a good son and brother. I would never complain about looking after my disabled sibling- but I need some space of my own and I just don't get it at home.

On top of that my parents don't realise the work and commitment I have put into my schoolwork. To do well I have studied hard and often late. I actually don't want to think about how tired I will be when I come home after commuting to study such new, challenging material. I know my parents think I don't work hard. They are convinced that 475 was nothing but an absolutely average Leaving last year and that I didn't do an iota of work for it at all... this is what I mean when I say they're not really "in touch" at all.

I suppose locally, I would find my ideal course. But the thought of living at home, right now, is absolutely horrible. I'm afraid I'd end up a social outcast because I'd constantly be rushing home after lectures to drop the car home, that I won't be able to go out occasionally at all and that I'll be roped in to care for my sister. I'm not saying I don't want to help out at home eventually, but I know that these years will go really quickly and I don't want to have any regrets...and I think that I'd learn so much outside college, living away from home, that no degree can give you. On the other hand I know it's only 4 years... but like I said, I'm sure that if I lived at home I'd miss out on all that.

Phew. /rant. I've been really inactive with repeating and now I post all that. I'd really appreciate anybody's advice. Maybe you want to look for your own as well??

KnifeWRENCH

Hmm....I would say first of all that the most important thing is that you do the right degree. Accomodation arrangements, social prospects etc. should all be secondary factors. If the degree you want is only taught in a certain place, go there. Regardless of anything else.

Now the living at home thing...I commuted from Mallow to Cork and back everyday when I was in first year. And frankly it was a pain in the ass. I did miss out on a lot of the social aspects of college in first year, and if I could go back I would move out. And I actually get on fine with my family, so if there are tensions between you and yours I think moving out is a good idea, regardless of how close you will be to home.

In the meantime, try saving up as much money as possible to avoid relying solely on your parents for rent. Be as financially independent as you can be. They may not be happy about you moving away but it's your life at the end of the day. Don't stay stuck in a course you don't want just because it's closer to home and cheaper for you to stay at home. If the ideal course is local and close to home, then maybe try asking friends if you can crash at their place every so often? That way you won't always have to miss out on the social side of it (provided you have somewhere to park your car beforehand for the night!)

wayhey

That's really good advice.. thank you!! I know though that my parents would be incredibly pissed if I moved out to a town 45 minutes away. Hell they get annoyed if I ever ask for a lift to a friend's house 15 minutes away- and last time I did that must've been last summer.

I'm 20 years old. Ugh.

Like I know the sensible decision is to put in a year here at home and then look at moving out- but realistically, even if I work full time I can't afford to move out myself without my parents. I need a car to get to work because we don't even live in the village. Work is already limited there this summer, I could only get around 10 hours/week last year. So if I look at going further afield for work I'll need the car and be crippled with insurance. It really is a catch-22.

ConnieBarry

your young once, they will be there for you to come back to,
if you want to try something new, do it, is there anything stopping you?
theres no point staying there if your unhappy, GO.

SarahBeep!

Just go with whatever degree your happiest with. I was lucky, the degree I wanted was in Limerick and I can't really afford to move away. If you can afford it, go wherever your heart takes you

QueenOfLeon

Before you approach your parents with any form of idea about next year, have your research done. Do you think you qualify for the maintenance grant, or the HEAR scheme? You would need your parents to fill out forms and all that for it but if you looked it up first you'd have some idea about whether or not you'd qualify for it. Do any of the universities you're looking at offer scholarships? Most give one if you get above a certain amount, which is anything from 500 to 560, but if you're aiming for that sort of thing you might get one.

Have you a job lined up for next year? If you happened to move away to a different college, it might soften the blow for your parents if they knew you had a job to come back to every weekend...it would guarantee them that you'd be back at least, and a little bit self sufficient!

It really does sound like you need some space for yourself. While there are still a few people in my class who live at home, they live close enough to be able to go on all the nights out, you do notice the difference between those who live around in student accommodation and those who live at home. It does depend on how dedicated you are to getting involved, but having a 45 minute drive home every night would be a real dampner on socialising.

I think you should approach your parents before the CAO deadline and see what their opinion is if you ended up going to NUIM. See if there would be any way you could rent in Maynooth...try and estimate the amount of money you would spend on petrol, the fact that their 2nd car would be away for most of the day, having to leave the house at 8am or so after getting back late and not getting the amount of study time that you may need.

If you can win them over about accommodation, do a bit of research on all the courses you're interested in and then you can pick as you like If not, is that course offered anywhere else? Your top priority, at the end of the day, is the course. But at the same time, a lot of college life comes down to the social side and how you get on with your classmates. Its a lot easier to feel motivated to go to lectures, do well in exams and get involved in college if you're happy with your situation

Hope it works out for you wayhey Just do try and put as much thought into it as possible, it is a lot of pressure to make decisions like this, but it will be worth it in the end if you can work out a situation that will make you happy

Fad

First off, on the subject of Science Ed, I would imagine an employer (Outside of teaching) would view a person with that degree, a bit below a person with a full degree in science, I would see a 4 year course in science + a hdip as a longer but slightly more door opening way to go.

I live at home, but I have fairly reasonable parent, if I text them and tell them I wont be home, everything's grand. But if you're unhappy at home, going home after a particularly hard day in college is possibly the worst thing in the world...

Basically, dont chose a course on the basis of employability (Science FTW, but maybe not education too? I say this because my guidance counsellor steered me away from these courses!) and if you can move out, do.

SarahBeep!

Fad wrote: »

First off, on the subject of Science Ed, I would imagine an employer (Outside of teaching) would view a person with that degree, a bit below a person with a full degree in science, I would see a 4 year course in science + a hdip as a longer but slightly more door opening way to go.

In UL the degree is actually considered a double degree so we're more employable than H.Dippers.
But we do still have a full science degree and are industry qualified with more Masters options

UL Science ED ftw. I teach, what's your super power?

bythewoods

Moving out of home is incredibly formative, and I'd definitely recommend you do so if there's any option at all!
Living away from home isn't all just about freedom and independence, even though they're obviously big parts of it, but can really teach you LOADS.

I was discussing this with a friend recently. Living independently challenges you a lot. In terms of motivation, say, you begin to ask "am I really arsed going in for that 9am lecture without my Mother getting me out of bed?" Sometimes it's tempting to roll over and ignore the alarm...
Can you arrive home from a nightclub, or even the library at 4am w/o your parents breathing down your neck? And if you study Medicine, I might be seeing you in the libo that late from time to time...

And learning to budget! You don't know what having NO money is until you can't afford food, buses, washing powder, etc. If you live at home you'll always have clothes washed for you, dinners cooked, DART/bus tickets or petrol paid for if you completely blow all your money on shots of Sambucca for the entire club

I know they're not necessarily the best reasons, but I think (for a LOAD) of reasons moving out of home did me the world of good, and made me grow up a lot. If you can move out, do it!
I had to move out for college, as the only college within commuting distance of my house is an IT with no courses that I was interested in doing, so I guess I was lucky in that respect. It might be difficult to justify the move to your parents, but a 45 commute every day is CRAZY! The amount of petrol that would cost, not to mention tax, insurance, etc, couldn't be much less than renting a cheap room somewhere!

Best of luck with the rest of the exams! I'm sure they're going a lot better than you think

Fad

SarahBeep! wrote: »

In UL the degree is actually considered a double degree so we're more employable than H.Dippers.
But we do still have a full science degree and are industry qualified with more Masters options

UL Science ED ftw. I teach, what's your super power?

Not all degrees are born equal..

Computers.... >_>

Craguls

SarahBeep! wrote: »

In UL the degree is actually considered a double degree so we're more employable than H.Dippers.
But we do still have a full science degree and are industry qualified with more Masters options

UL Science ED ftw. I teach, what's your super power?

I think what Fad was getting at is that you need to take time away from the Science Modules themselves in order to do the education theory and practice ones. A lot of my teachers had done these degrees, two were recent grads from UL and DCU actually who both admitted they'd have limited range in industry and academia.

wayhey

Thanks everybody, the advice really is great!! Degree first, picking something I like should be my priority- I see that now, and if it's away, bonus Anyway I looking up courses and wrecking the heads of admissions offices so hopefully I'll get something I like either way this year

bythewoods, you speak so much sense..

QueenofLeon, I don't qualify for HEAR. I checked that all out and it doesn't work out for me like that unfortunately. Missing one of the criteria I think..

Thanks everybody- I read all your replies as soon as they were put up and they really helped, I felt like my head was going to explode! Thanks!