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boyfriend lying or not

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  • 23-06-2011 10:36pm
    #1
    jackster77
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭


    I think my boyfriend is lying to me. He called me at half seven to say he had a few drinks at a mates house and was in the indian waiting for a take-away and then going home. two mins into the conversation his phone went dead. I waited about an hour and a half and tried to call him but the phone was still dead so i called his flat mate who said he was gone to a pub with said mate. I called the other guys phone and sure enough they were in the pub. he said that after his indian he was walking home and met his mate and went to the pub. first problem, I dont ever recall him getting a take away and eating it alone in a restaurant. second prob, he knows i dont like him going to this particular pub because about 7 months ago he kissed a girl in there. now, we have worked through it but I made it clear that i didnt like him going in there.....and there he is tonight. Is he lying full stop or am I being paranoid? or if he is lying, is it to spare my feelings? Am i over reacting??? I hate feeling like this:mad:
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    #2
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    jackster77 wrote: »
    7 months ago he kissed a girl.
    :eek: Why did you stay with him?
    jackster77 wrote: »
    now, we have worked through it but I made it clear that i didnt like him going in there

    To be frank, location doesnt make someone cheat - desire does.... He may score on a trip to Lourdes and not score in Copper Face Jacks but the point is he chose to cheat on your before... Did he lie to you at this time?

    He seems to be acting suspiciously alright but on the other hand, maybe he just wanted to go into this pub, for no reason and he cant tell you that. Either way, its not healthy.


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    #3
    jackster77
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭jackster77


    yeah, he told me at the time. was very sorry, crying, etc. it took a long time to get over but just when i think i am i feel like he is lying again


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    #4
    Mc Kenzie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 470 ✭✭Mc Kenzie


    i dont think stopping him from going into this pub makes any difference.telling him you dont like him going in their is prob just gonna make him wanto go. I dont understand why you tell him where he can and cant go though.

    Id say dont say anything just keep a good eye on things.


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    #5
    Justask
    Registered Users Posts: 1,391 ✭✭✭Justask


    Sorry now this is just my opinion!!

    Checking up on someone like that is just not healthy.
    If he cheated on you and you got past it you got past it, in other words you have you put it in the past.

    But seriously if he is going to cheat again phoning himand all his mates is not going to stop him...

    Sorry if this sounds harsh :)


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    #6
    ulinbac
    Registered Users Posts: 707 ✭✭✭ulinbac


    Hi OP,

    He is probably in that pub but just trying to spare your feelings and be nice. His mate probably said to go to a that pub as there may be a good crowd/band etc. If he did get a take away he would eat it on the way home, but have seen plenty of people eat on their own in a take-away with a few pints on them so could easily meet said mate. His phone is more than likely dead so he is not ignoring you.

    One thing you shouldn't do is try and influence where he goes for a pint because:

    1) He is old enough to decide for himself and as previously mentioned it could have happened anywhere
    2) If his mates find this out he will get abuse from them
    3) Ringing his mates and deterring him from pubs makes YOU look bad.

    Don't mean to be harsh but you kind of sound like the old lady giving out to her old husband.


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    #7
    Asphyxia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,740 ✭✭✭Asphyxia


    I agree with some of the other posters, it seemed like he wanted to go out with his friend to the pub but didn't want to have an argument over it so he chose to lie so it wouldn't cause a problem.

    On the other hand you seem to be quite insecure about it and it seems there's still some trust issues you need to work out.

    Like another poster said his location doesn't make a big deal or the person he's with at the end of the day it is him who makes the decisions!


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    #8
    Peanut2011
    Registered Users Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭Peanut2011


    OP, if you feel you have to go to these lengths to keep your relationship going and so you feel he is not cheating on you than the relationship is not worth having.

    I personally believe, once a cheater aways a cheater and I would never forgive someone for doing that and therefore could not ever continue the relationship. My trust in them would be gone and without that there can not be a healthy relationship.

    However if you are the person who can do that, than you need to really leave it in the past. As someone stated, if he was going to do something, it can even be in that Indian takeaway. I could understand if you did not want him talking or seeing that girl again but not wanting him to go to the place he kissed her is a bit strange.

    Furthermore, you ringing around his mates to speak to him again after his phone went dead is not really healthy. I would suggest you two need to work on your trust issues together.


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