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Pet for 4 year old suitable for working family
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Exactly. If you come onto an internet forum then should expect honest opinion. Would people prefer posts like Bunnies are fun ?
If I could I would gradually introduce a ban on rabbits as pets unless someone could prove that they will be properly cared for & not imprisoned in a hutch in solitary confinement. They must be one of the most abused species on the planet.0 -
She asked for advice, which is what she got, its obviously not what she wanted to hear... so because it wasnt, we are lecturing?? hmmmm
Funny how the people who are telling us to get off our soap boxes etc and are agreeing with the idea of her getting a pet anyway regardless of her not being an animal lover, are not regular posters in API...:rolleyes:
The quantity of a posters responses in this section of the forum is in no way a correlation to the quality, as your post shows.
You do not need to love animals to have one. There are plenty of people who love their animals but who shouldn't be left in charge of a pet rock.0 -
growing up we had 5 rabbits in total(only ever two at a time) and a dog. the rabbits were in a cage that used to be a run for a collie dog so was quite large. We could actually go in a walk around it quite comfortably. They also had extra runs that connected to it that extended onto the lawn. If someone has a large space like that then I dont think its a problem keeping rabbits. most pet shop cages that you can buy are way too small.
But my main reason for replying is that my mother never wanted animals. and still doesnt. She treats them well and feeds them if no one is there or takes them to the vet but only if no one else can do it. And my parents now have 5 cats and a dog that they look after.
If you husband is willing to look after the animal then he should be able to get it but let it be fully his decision as he will be doing all the work. Your children are too young to look after them properly and if they were to do anything for the animal it would need to be supervised.
I do suggest a rabbit. But like I said only if the cage is large enough. And see if you can get a rescue one instead of buying in the pet shop.0 -
runawaybishop wrote: »The quantity of a posters responses in this section of the forum is in no way a correlation to the quality, as your post shows.
You do not need to love animals to have one. There are plenty of people who love their animals but who shouldn't be left in charge of a pet rock.
Wanting nothing to do with a pet is not indicative of a good pet owner. Really, why would anyone buy rabbits for their young children if they themselves have no interest in its welfare. If the OH is busy one day and the kids are bored of the rabbit, of course it's going to be gym_mom who'll be looking after it. The same poster who said she didn't want to be involved in the upkeep.
It's also really not feasible to keep rabbits in an outdoor hutch all year round in Ireland - the winters are simply too cold and wet. Unless the OP was planning to allow the rabbits into one room of the house or convert a shed to be heated and maintained as the "hutch", then rabbits are not a suitable pet choice anyway.
Seriously, fish or small lizards are the way to go if you absolutely must buy the children pets, because you will have to look after them at some point.0 -
fluorescence wrote: »Wanting nothing to do with a pet is not indicative of a good pet owner. Really, why would anyone buy rabbits for their young children if they themselves have no interest in its welfare. If the OH is busy one day and the kids are bored of the rabbit, of course it's going to be gym_mom who'll be looking after it. The same poster who said she didn't want to be involved in the upkeep.
By that same logic a single parent wouldn't be allowed to have pets either.
We have 2 dogs in our household. I do not "love" them - i most certainly do not mistreat them in any way.0 -
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But in case someone is really determined to get a rabbit then this is an easy solution.
Remove 15 sq metres of turf from your lawn. Lay down some wire netting & put the turf back. Now put a 3ft fence around the area & sew it to the netting base. Add a couple of drain pipes, some potting compost, a style so that kids can get in & out & a flat raised area for the hutch.
The kids can then climb in (no gates to leave open) & let bunny out & handle it with no fear of escape. Plus the bunny can burrow & hide in the pipes etc. Just make sure that it goes back into a secure hutch at night & that the hutch is in a shed or garage in the winter.0 -
runawaybishop wrote: »By that same logic a single parent wouldn't be allowed to have pets either.
Yes they would provided that they didn't have a dislike of animals. Many of the posters here are involved or have experience of rescues. Any rescue will tell you that disputes between partners are often a reason why a dog is handed in.
I can remember one case when a dog loving fella wanted to return his dog because his new girlfriend didn't like it :eek: - wrong choice !
Rescues get full of rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, cats, dogs etc because the family get bored with them. The kids lose interest & the parents don't want to take over.0 -
I would have thought it was pretty normal that one parent would have more of an interest in a pet then the other, is that not give and take?
OP some bunnies don't like handled much, I wouldn't be leaving the 4 year old alone with any animal.
I'm sure your husband will do a fine job of looking after whatever pet you get.0 -
Brainwave!
Is there a friend/relative with a friendly dog you could borrow or offer to look after?0 -
I see people are lecturing down from upon high once again.
The poster said the husband loves animals and will do cleaning etc, so whats the big deal? Its not as if its only the 4 year old who likes animals.
OP, I wouldn't get a dog unless you want to let it inside, he would be lonely. And if he is let inside there is lots of cleaning involved. Rabbits sound cool alright.
Maybe hamsters? Or what about a cat? Even though I hate the little bastards myself it could be the right pet for you.
Best of luck with whatever you decide!
And OP, ignore the sanctimonious crap.0 -
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kildare.17hmr wrote: »you can get rabbits that will live outside in a hutch no problem
Please don't buy a rabbit just to keep it in a hutch. The hutch is just for somewhere for the rabbit to sleep and shelter, they need space to stretch, forage and move about so the hutch should have a safe enclosure attached that's at least 4ft x 6ft.
A rabbit on its own will be lonely and bored, they are social animals so you should ideally get two of the same sex. (Beware - a lot of petshops don't know how to sex them! The DSPCA sometimes have rabbits for rehoming though.)
Rabbits are surprisingly fragile so it would not be a good idea to let your children hold the rabbit while they are standing, in case the rabbit is nervous and jumps out of their arms.
If the rabbit is just going to be an outside pet it will be harder to tame and a scared rabbit can give you a nasty scratch with its nails when it struggles to get away.
Rabbits need to be wormed and vaccinated, just like dogs and cats. Neutering also prolongs their life, especially the females.
Also, I think dwarf hamsters are not suitable "hands-on" pets for children, they are easily hurt by clumsy handling and they are very fast, especially Robos!
To be honest OP, I really don't think getting a pet is such a good idea for you guys right now. A dog or cat would better stand the clumsy hugging and handling of small children, but I understand you don't want such a big pet in the house. All of the pets so far involve more care (and more expense) than you'd think, and wouldn't be a great choice for such a young child. I am not being facetious when I say it would be better to go feed the ducks in the park, take trips to the zoo, and feed the birds in the garden, to satisfy her craving for contact with animals.0 -
Wolfe Tone wrote: »I see people are lecturing down from upon high once again.The poster said the husband loves animals and will do cleaning etc, so whats the big deal? Its not as if its only the 4 year old who likes animals.
OP, I wouldn't get a dog unless you want to let it inside, he would be lonely. And if he is let inside there is lots of cleaning involved. Rabbits sound cool alright.
Maybe hamsters? Or what about a cat? Even though I hate the little bastards myself it could be the right pet for you.
Best of luck with whatever you decide!
And OP, ignore the sanctimonious crap.[/QUOTE]
Where is the sanctamonious crap and where are the lectures? The OP ASKED for advice and we have given it, its obviously wasnt what she wanted to hear, and so because of that we are lecturing??
Most of us that post here regularly on API are huge animal LOVERS with the well being of animals as our main reason for posting in this forum.
SO when someone basically comes on and says they dont like animals but want to get one for the household, of course we arent going to advise getting one, as we know exactly what happens to an animal in this type of situation and have seen these type of scenarios, time and time again, and its people on this forum that are usally left to pick up the pieces and find homes for all the unwanted pets...:mad:0 -
OP, if you are still touching base with this thread I have a completely different suggestion. Your kids are still very young and any pet at this stage would likely be a fad. I would suggest taking them to petting zoo or urban farm say one Sunday a month where they can interact with all different kinds of animals and they can learn how to handle them, about their care etc. I'd almost be sure that after a few visits they will be more interested in the playground area than the animals, the novelty really does wear off that quickly. If they get to a stage where they can't wait to go because they have a favourite animal (not species, a specific animal referred to by its name) then I would re-examine your circumstances at that stage and it give it more consideration.
You might be very surprised, you might develop more of an interest yourself.0 -
runawaybishop wrote: »The quantity of a posters responses in this section of the forum is in no way a correlation to the quality, as your post shows.
You do not need to love animals to have one. There are plenty of people who love their animals but who shouldn't be left in charge of a pet rock.
Well you obviously dont know how experienced on animal welfare and care the majority of the posters who replied and gave advice to the poster are then, do you? So yes, it is both quality with quantity.
Im a firm believer that you should love your pet if you own one, they are living creatures, not robots or toys.0 -
Well you obviously dont know how experienced on animal welfare and care the majority of the posters who replied and gave advice to the poster are then, do you? So yes, it is both quality with quantity.
Im a firm believer that you should love your pet if you own one, they are living creatures, not robots or toys.0 -
Well i think that family pets deserve love, family pets are not just animals, so they do need more than just to be cared for in my opinion.0
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Wolfe Tone wrote: »They are animals, you don't have to "love" them for gods sake in order to look after them properly.
To look after them properly you need to meet their needs and considering most animals, rabbits included, are social animals and live in a family group, keeping one on it's own is NOT meeting the requirements of that animal. Rabbits need company in the form of another rabbit, or being inside the home with a family where they can meet the social need of the rabbit. Rabbits also need plenty of space, again a requirement not fulfilled by the standard hutch sold in pet shops. So you may think most of the posters here are fluffy animal rights people but in actual fact they are only stating the basic requirements to correctly care for an animal.
People have suggested getting fish (they don't need hours of interaction everyday), hens (live outside and will benefit from regular interaction but it's not a deal breaker) visiting petting zoos, regularily borrowing a friends dog for walks, these are very good suggestions.0 -
TooManyDogs wrote: »To look after them properly you need to meet their needs and considering most animals, rabbits included, are social animals and live in a family group, keeping one on it's own is NOT meeting the requirements of that animal. Rabbits need company in the form of another rabbit, or being inside the home with a family where they can meet the social need of the rabbit. Rabbits also need plenty of space, again a requirement not fulfilled by the standard hutch sold in pet shops. So you may think most of the posters here are fluffy animal rights people but in actual fact they are only stating the basic requirements to correctly care for an animal.
People have suggested getting fish (they don't need hours of interaction everyday), hens (live outside and will benefit from regular interaction but it's not a deal breaker) visiting petting zoos, regularily borrowing a friends dog for walks, these are very good suggestions.
This forum is way OTT and judgmental, to the extent that I would never ask advice here(thankfully I have never needed any). Some posters seem to think that unless say a dog is treated like a child you are a bad owner.
The OP doesn't really like animals, but her husband does, and the kids will. So what if she doesn't want to be involved with the animal? The way some posters here are going on you would think her not being that pushed about getting a pet would mean that the animal would have a horrible existence. The husband is an "animal lover" and has volunteered to do all the dirty work involved in looking after the animal.
It sounds like it will be a good home to me. The kids will love having a pet.0 -
Wolfe Tone wrote: »No, they are talking crap, I would include socializing the animal etc, in "looking after it properly" but you don't need to love the damn thing like you would a family member, which it seems some posters are suggesting.
This forum is way OTT and judgmental, to the extent that I would never ask advice here(thankfully I have never needed any). Some posters seem to think that unless say a dog is treated like a child you are a bad owner.
The OP doesn't really like animals, but her husband does, and the kids will. So what if she doesn't want to be involved with the animal? The way some posters here are going on you would think her not being that pushed about getting a pet would mean that the animal would have a horrible existence. The husband is an "animal lover" and has volunteered to do all the dirty work involved in looking after the animal.
It sounds like it will be a good home to me. The kids will love having a pet.
Hold on, any of us that ever post on this forum never advise treating an animal like a child, far from it. But animals like dogs especially, need companionship and love, yes love, there are all different types of love you know. Doesnt mean you have to love your pet like your partner or your child, its a different type of love.
This forum is not OTT and judgemental, far from it. We offer lots of very good, helpful and experienced advice on pet ownership and problems as we are all very experienced owners and many who are involved in dog rescues, kennels, training, showing etc so we all have a wide varied range of information regarding pet ownership, how you think its judgemental is beyond me.
People are too quick to jump in with that statement when they dont get the view or opinion they though they were going to get, so if we happen to disagree, we are deemed to be lecturing and judgemental?0 -
Hold on, any of us that ever post on this forum never advise treating an animal like a child, far from it. But animals like dogs especially, need companionship and love, yes love, there are all different types of love you know. Doesnt mean you have to love your pet like your partner or your child, its a different type of love.
This forum is not OTT and judgemental, far from it. We offer lots of very good, helpful and experienced advice on pet ownership and problems as we are all very experienced owners and many who are involved in dog rescues, kennels, training, showing etc so we all have a wide varied range of information regarding pet ownership, how you think its judgemental is beyond me.
People are too quick to jump in with that statement when they dont get the view or opinion they though they were going to get, so if we happen to disagree, we are deemed to be lecturing and judgemental?
Do you really think that the husband who is an "animal lover" will be incapable of looking after a few rabbits with his kids?0 -
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Wolfe Tone wrote: »Rubbish, this is one of the most judgmental forums I've come across, people make a mistake and ask for advise, posters jump in to tell the OP how they are Hitler reincarnated for doing something simply because they didn't know better. There is also a OTT definition of "cruelty" on this board. However, that is all off topic.
Do you really think that the husband who is an "animal lover" will be incapable of looking after a few rabbits with his kids?
No one's saying that. What they are saying is that the OP buying pets she doesn't want involvement with is a bad idea. It's not just a matter of throwing them in a hutch in a backyard - they'll need a proper set-up which costs €€€s which should be accounted for; they'll need regular socialising (which may require Mammy going outside with the kids when they're not entirely bothered or when Daddy isn't at home to supervise); they'll shed fur onto the kids' clothes which will inevitably come into the house with them AND they can injure young children if startled or frightened (which they might be more prone to if they're kept as outdoor pets rather than indoor pets).
No one's saying the rabbits should be treated with a godlike reverence, merely pointing out practical downsides for the OP to own rabbits.0 -
I don't understand why people would continually read a forum where they jump in with exclamations of that's wrong, no it isn't, what a load of rubbish and so on and so forth while never offering any contribution themselves. To live a life of argument seeking must be a pretty pityfull existance. I've just spent a day attempting to come up with a plan for something with a person who has no prior knowledge of whatsoever of the subject matter. This person is the most arrogant individual I have ever met in my life and so much for relaxing at home :rolleyes:.
If you hold no value on others peoples opinion your own opinion is completely worthless. For the people that have posted that the OP has been given rubbish advice, I would really like to have the opportunity to consider your opinions, so what are they?!?!?
What pet do you think would be suitable for the OP given that it will permanently live outdoors with a few hours interaction every day at most? Since the OP seems to really want to have something to feed that the rest of the family can clean up after I suggest she hang a few bird feeders in the garden and look into where to put nesting boxes for next year. You don't need to 'love' birds to do this and its an extremely educational learning process for the kids. My 4 yr old and 6 yr old niece know all the names of the different birds that turn up, can distinguish between their songs and know which foods each prefer.0 -
fluorescence wrote: »No one's saying that. What they are saying is that the OP buying pets she doesn't want involvement with is a bad idea. It's not just a matter of throwing them in a hutch in a backyard - they'll need a proper set-up which costs €€€s which should be accounted for; they'll need regular socialising (which may require Mammy going outside with the kids when they're not entirely bothered or when Daddy isn't at home to supervise); they'll shed fur onto the kids' clothes which will inevitably come into the house with them AND they can injure young children if startled or frightened (which they might be more prone to if they're kept as outdoor pets rather than indoor pets).
No one's saying the rabbits should be treated with a godlike reverence, merely pointing out practical downsides for the OP to own rabbits.
If they get a decent set up the rabbits could be very happy, as well as the kids too. And if its too much work sure they can always eat them! (I kid I kid, although rabbit is tasty)
It can be good to give the kids a bit of responsibility too. It can be something fun for the father to do with his kids too.
I think the OP should go for it.0 -
Wolfe Tone wrote: »How is it a bad idea when the husband would like an animal too?
If they get a decent set up the rabbits could be very happy, as well as the kids too. And if its too much work sure they can always eat them! (I kid I kid, although rabbit is tasty)
It can be good to give the kids a bit of responsibility too. It can be something fun for the father to do with his kids too.
I think the OP should go for it.
The kids who are interested in animals are too young (4 and 7) to play with rabbits unsupervised. What if they want to play with the rabbits when the OP's husband is at work or out somewhere? The OP will have to go out with them, make sure they handle the rabbits with care, keep a close eye on the rabbits' behaviour (making sure they're not spooked or agitated) and generally interact with the animals. You can't have a pet in the house and not be affected by it in some way. Doubly so when you're the parent of small children with pets.
I think animals are a great addition to any household, and I'm sure the husband would take brilliant care of them. However, since we're practically speaking, the OP will inevitably need to interact with whatever pets they bring home at some point. If she's not prepared to do that, then pets are not the way to go. If the OP doesn't want to be involved, she should get pets that require minimal involvement (like fish) or else not get one.0 -
adrenalinjunkie wrote: »What pet do you think would be suitable for the OP given that it will permanently live outdoors with a few hours interaction every day at most?
I need to read this thread again tomorrow,but ive "thanked" what i thought made sense. Wolftone, i understand where you're coming from but, sometimes it isn't good enough to get a pet just because you can.
Its not being patronising, it just means that some pets are just not suited for certain people or families and this is a perfect example.
Sometimes i also get frustrated with this forum for offering patronising advice, but in this case it's valid. Its cheesy but getting a "pet" and physically keeping it alive and healthy for a long time takes time,effort,money and care! That could be anything from a fish to a horse!
Every species is different...thats why Veterinary Medicine is there.It is subjective and every "animal" is different.Its why most people here do try to advise that not all are suitable as pets, until you understand what they're about.
I still remember when i was about 6 or 7, we had a mongrel type dog called Benji. My last memory of him was me sitting in the back righthand seat of the car and him on the floor on the way to the "dogs and cats home". This was the 80s. I presumed he was going to another house to have fun with other dogs.I know what happened to him now
I dont blame my dad, we were too young, my mam was minding us and he was working too hard. The dog bore the brunt! I still cant bring myself to ask about him to this day. We got another dog for 14 years after that when i was teenager and she got the time,effort and medical attention she needed because as a family we knew what had to be done.
This forum offers very sound advice a lot of the time. It mightn't be what everyone wants to hear and can be very quick to judge (sometimes), but i suppose the "love" most of us feel for our pets isnt disposable so we hope others try to see that too,thats all.0 -
You should start with a goldfish, If you can handle that than move onto something else, I am not into Animals for kids as I dont think animals are toys.0
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Just in the door from work some serious arguing went on here behind my back :rolleyes:
That said, I saw one fantastic comment.. bird feeders and a bird table would be perfect, give it a few weeks and all the local wild birds will know where they can get a good easy meal meanwhile the kids get educated all for little or nothing!!
I really dont see much else that can be added to this post thought in honesty except for even more, he said she said, no he's right no she's wrong malarky you all get what I mean so folks give it a rest0 -
Join Date:Posts: 10092
This is a personal opinion and not a mod one btw.
Im with the OP here.Maybe she doesnt want to have anything to do with the pet but if her OP is willing to give that pet all it needs then so be it.
From personal experience my op is the same.
Ive kept exotics and my wife wanted nothing to do with them.She wouldnt even feed the tarantulas,snakes etc...that was all down to me.
Also how can someone love a tarantula,snake,hamster,rabbit etc.
Try love a tarantula and its going to cost you.
However she does do everything she has to do for the dogs and loves them the way the way a dog should be loved as part of a family.
And I do agree that a dog is different though--a dog needs to feel loved in a family environment.
Now mod time.
As for the Wolfe Tones and others view that the op is being lectured--I have to agree.On the very first page of this thread the OP was told that she should never have a pet--again a user gets hammered for asking for advice.At least 5 users told her she isnt suitable for a pet.How do you lot know her exact circumstances?
How can you keep saying that someone isnt suitable to own a pet when you know nothing about her?
The family dynamic could be ideally suited for a pet and then again it may not but its not for the animal welfare brigade to keep judging people on this forum.
I understand completely where you are coming from but now that you`ve slated this user I feel that instead of getting advice on how to keep whatever they choose in the proper manner they may now head off to a dodgy petshop,buy this pet and if in the future they have an issue regarding its upkeep they wont come back here looking for advice because of this thread.
The people involved in animal welfare need to realise that sometimes people may make mistakes in buying a dog / cat / whatever even if in your opinion they may not be suited for a owning a pet and when they come looking for advice,instead of slating them over a mistake thats already been made could you not help them out?0 -
Wolfe Tone wrote: »How is it a bad idea when the husband would like an animal too?
If they get a decent set up the rabbits could be very happy, as well as the kids too. And if its too much work sure they can always eat them! (I kid I kid, although rabbit is tasty)
It can be good to give the kids a bit of responsibility too. It can be something fun for the father to do with his kids too.
I think the OP should go for it.
I could not tell you the amount of times in my own family (extended and close) that it has occurred that one member has got a pet while another has been against it and it has caused nothing but pure grief for all concerned
What happens whne kids want to play with bunny from the back garden hutch when:
-daddy is not there
-it is raining
-bunny is sick
-friends are over and no dad to supervise
I could go on and on but you get the drift. the kids are too small by themselves to have a rabbit, dog or cat?
I have a number of examples:
-relative got a husky, now working away from home cant take husky and noone else in the house wants/is able for sucha dog.....lets see how long the dog lasts.
- relative got a "family" dog. husband did not want it and therefor now every single thign to do with that dog has to be done by the wife......hail, rail, snow or illness. the result....they will let this dog live out its days(thankfully) and thye will never get another one again.
- relatives got cats, moved home, did not "want" the cats. put them all to sleep......fair enough you say but not without its stresses when explaining to the kids where puss & co were going!
- i got horses, OH said he would help but not really into horses. i got sick.......huge stress on all concerned as I physically could not take care of them.....cue fights and load of grief on top of illness.
I could stay here all day writing these things to be honest.
Now I dont think my family are oddballs (well not really;)) but this is what concerns me about getting a pet when not every one is on board.
Not that i dont think it is do-able, just time needs to be put into finding the right way and maybe the kids ebing a bit older so they can take more responsibility.0 -
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Wolfe Tone wrote: »Rubbish, this is one of the most judgmental forums I've come across, people make a mistake and ask for advise, posters jump in to tell the OP how they are Hitler reincarnated for doing something simply because they didn't know better. There is also a OTT definition of "cruelty" on this board. However, that is all off topic.
Do you really think that the husband who is an "animal lover" will be incapable of looking after a few rabbits with his kids?
can you show me examples of this please0
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