Should Gay People Be Allowed To Adopt?

Gary4279

Pretty good feeling i'm going to get destroyed for this but here goes...

I'm all for gay people being allowed to get married and have equal rights as straight couples and i'm sure within the next few years this will be achieved.

However, I don't think they should be allowed to adopt children. I just don't think it would be fair on the child to say for example have two fathers, and no mother figure. The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

I also think it could leave the child confused as to how relationships work and asking question as to why he/she has two dads where as everyone else has one mother and one father.

Now I know many will argue that its better for a child to be with a gay couple than in an orphanage but having looked into it a bit there are next to none in Ireland.

I know my argument may seem a bit backward but when I asked myself if I'd like to have had two father I definitely wouldn't have.

abouttobebanned

Why will ya get destroyed? It's just an opinion. And a valid one at that.

Biggins

I'd rather have two people (or more) in my life that deeply cared for me and loved me - than none at all.

Misticles

Rachel Berry turned out quite well :cool:

I think they should be allowed. Two parents of both sex or mixed sex are going to love the child equally! Raise the child with good values just like any other parents would and if the child does become the subject of bullying, what are the odds those bullying children came from a mixed sex relationship? and look how they turned out!

Two parents are better than none!

smokingman

Jesus had two dads and he apparently did ok....

Phill Ewinn

Should male gay couples be allowed to adopt in Ireland do you mean? Seriously though I can't see the benefit for the child. I doubt many here share the same opinion

roryc1

Did you ask yourself would you like two mothers ?

Gary4279

Gary4279 wrote: »

Pretty good feeling i'm going to get destroyed for this but here goes...

I'm all for gay people being allowed to get married and have equal rights as straight couples and i'm sure within the next few years this will be achieved.

However, I don't think they should be allowed to adopt children. I just don't think it would be fair on the child to say for example have two fathers, and no mother figure. The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

I also think it could leave the child confused as to how relationships work and asking question as to why he/she has two dads where as everyone else has one mother and one father.

Now I know many will argue that its better for a child to be with a gay couple than in an orphanage but having looked into it a bit there are next to none in Ireland.

I know my argument may seem a bit backward but when I asked myself if I'd like to have had two father I definitely wouldn't have.

Are you trolling?
This is stupid. Children get bullied anyway for any reason. Children of single parents are not "confused about how relationships work".




On the poll, I don't think they should adopt but I do think they should be allowed to...

Gary4279

Biggins wrote: »

I'd rather have two people (or more) in my life that deeply cared for me and loved me - than none at all.

Valid point, but I think that greater emphasis should be put on adoption to straight couple that can't have children for medical reasons.

There are virtually no adoptions in Ireland anymore, and I think its such a shame that a lot of kids end up in temporary homes.

I know most gay couple would try their hardest to care for a child but at the end of the day would it not be better to give a child the best start possible. I don't think that could be achieved with a gay couple.

I'd also like to point out that my argument isn't anti-gay, its pro-child.

steof1984

Gay people should adopt

steof1984

Gay people should adopt Gay Babies

Cookie_Monster

smokingman wrote: »

Jesus had two dads and he apparently did ok....

he came back as a zombie:

=> Gheyness encourages Zombie-ism

Flawless scientific logic at work

Gary4279

bluewolf wrote: »

Are you trolling?
This is stupid. Children get bullied anyway for any reason. Children of single parents are not "confused about how relationships work".




On the poll, I don't think they should adopt but I do think they should be allowed to...

Are you seriously going to tell me a child of a gay couple isn't going to get tormented in school Most people get bullied in school, some are unlucky to get bullied more than others. But a child of a gay couple is 100% sure to get tormented for his whole school life.

Yeah, I had that in but it was too long, you get the idea stop looking for a reason to piss yourself.

Gandalph

You make a valid arguement about the kids and I remember how afraid I was of gay men when I was a child but I believe if they feel capable of being good parents then they should be able to do anything they want. Everyone is becoming more tolerent these days even kids.

The only people that would do the slagging are the scummer kids who's douchebag fat beer drinking low life fathers bring them up to make fun of the gay community, and noboddy honestly gives a f**k on what those people have to say.

Gary4279

Gary4279 wrote: »

Are you seriously going to tell me a child of a gay couple isn't going to get tormented in school Most people get bullied in school, some are unlucky to get bullied more than others. But a child of a gay couple is 100% sure to get tormented for his whole school life.

No, they are not 100% sure to get tormented. Plenty of posters on the last thread on the subject, myself included, did not get bullied.
Redheads get bullied. Kids with glasses get bullied. Pandering to potential bullies... :rolleyes:

IfUSeekAmy

OP your argument is like saying that redheads shouldn't be allowed to have children because they will have them in the full knowledge that they will be bullied in school.

Kids are tough, but fair. If children with samesex parents attending schools becomes the norm, then in the longrun, the norm it will be, nothing to bat an eyelid about.

Also, you can't brand yourself as being all for equal rights with the stance you have.

Equal rights means exactly that EQUAL rights. Some aren't more equal than others you know.

NothingMan

Gary4279 wrote: »

The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

Jeez, I know homophobia can lead to bullying but severing them is a bit severe.

AudreyHepburn

My opinion is as long as the parent or parents love and provide for their children what matter their sexuality?

Gary4279

Gandalph wrote: »

You make a valid arguement about the kids and I remember how afraid I was of gay men when I was a child but I believe if they feel capable of being good parents then they should be able to do anything they want. Everyone is becoming more tolerent these days even kids.

The only people that would do the slagging are the scummer kids who's douchebag fat beer drinking low life fathers bring them up to make fun of the gay community, and noboddy honestly gives a f**k on what those people have to say.

You can say that now but sadly children will care what their peers say to them, its how we mature.

abouttobebanned

bluewolf wrote: »

Are you trolling?
This is stupid. Children get bullied anyway for any reason. Children of single parents are not "confused about how relationships work".




On the poll, I don't think they should adopt but I do think they should be allowed to...

Are you one of these people that think that people who post opinions that you don't agree with, must be trolls.

Trolling...FFS...

As much as I'd rather see a child with two gay parents than no parents, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of two gay men raising a child. There needs to be a maternal involvement in some way, I think it's essential for the proper upbringing of a child.

ElleEm

Gary4279 wrote: »

Pretty good feeling i'm going to get destroyed for this but here goes...

I'm all for gay people being allowed to get married and have equal rights as straight couples and i'm sure within the next few years this will be achieved.

However, I don't think they should be allowed to adopt children. I just don't think it would be fair on the child to say for example have two fathers, and no mother figure. The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

I also think it could leave the child confused as to how relationships work and asking question as to why he/she has two dads where as everyone else has one mother and one father.

Now I know many will argue that its better for a child to be with a gay couple than in an orphanage but having looked into it a bit there are next to none in Ireland.

I know my argument may seem a bit backward but when I asked myself if I'd like to have had two father I definitely wouldn't have.

I don't see how it would lead them into any more confusion than having a single mother/ having an absent father/ having half siblings etc., which is very common in today's society.

If anything, not being brought up in a traditional family may lead the child to be more tolerant and accepting of people.

I work with kids in care, and loving families willing to foster/ adopt are very VERY slim. I would much rather see those kids with loving, happy families than living in an institution.

Having a child raised by "the system" will do much more damage to a kid than having a kid being raised by two people who love each other and can provide love for the child.

abouttobebanned

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Are you one of these people that think that people who post opinions that you don't agree with, must be trolls.

No, I am not one of these people.

There needs to be a maternal involvement in some way, I think it's essential for the proper upbringing of a child.

And yet single people can adopt, isn't that terrible

AnamGlas

Well, ask yourself if you would like your child to be raised by a gay couple, if you were unable to raise him/her for any reason.

Beruthiel

Gary4279 wrote: »

However, I don't think they should be allowed to adopt children. I just don't think it would be fair on the child to say for example have two fathers, and no mother figure.

Look at all the children who only have one parent. Or none.

The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

If that child is bullied by it's peers, it is because of the ignorance and intolerance they have been taught by their "fantastic, perfect" heterosexual parents....
Oh the ironing....

abouttobebanned

bluewolf wrote: »

No, I am not one of these people.


And yet single people can adopt, isn't that terrible

I'm suspicious of this. Are you telling me that a single man can adobt a baby? Can you show me a case where this has happened?

Hail 2 Da Chimp

I can't believe this: obviously none of the posters here have been watching Sky1's documentary "Modern Family":
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2010/11/modern-family-lily-abc.jpg

Gary4279

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I'm suspicious of this. Are you telling me that a single man can adobt a baby? Can you show me a case where this has happened?

No he can not.

fatmammycat

AnamGlas wrote: »

Well, ask yourself if you would like your child to be raised by a gay couple, if you were unable to raise him/her for any reason.

It would make no difference to me. Also gay men do not live in a vaccum, they have mothers, sisters, brothers, a child could have a wonderful life with plenty of 'maternal' influence.
And honestly, bullying? Kids get bullied for any number of reasons. I was bullied for being tall FFS.

theboss80

AudreyHepburn wrote: »

My opinion is as long as the parent or parents love and provide for their children what matter their sexuality?

^^^^^^^^
This

abouttobebanned

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I'm suspicious of this. Are you telling me that a single man can adobt a baby? Can you show me a case where this has happened?

I don't know, I'd have to go look properly for an actual case, I was just checking on :

Under the adoption legislation, it is possible for a single person to adopt if the Adoption Authority considers it desirable and it must regard the welfare of the child as its first and paramount consideration. This means that if you are living with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner, you may apply to the Authority to adopt a child in your own right, intending to raise the child with your partner. However, your partner would have no legal rights in relation to the child. The fact you are in a relationship is relevant only when evaluating circumstances that might affect the child's welfare.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/adoption_and_unmarried_couples.html

cosanostra

I think a child needs a mother and a father to give that balance! The breakdown of the family unit has serious social implications

Biggins

AnamGlas wrote: »

Well, ask yourself if you would like your child to be raised by a gay couple, if you were unable to raise him/her for any reason.

I have four kids - my answer is still YES.

What, because of their sexuality that makes them bad people?
O' yes, they are gay so any child in their care must be of course open to increased chances of abuse - and come on, lets not fcuk around the issue - thats what we are talking about here.
There is an underlying sub-conscious mentality that because someone has a different sexuality and one that you can't even belong to and thus fully understand because your not in the same category - well of course it must be a dis-advantage.
Hell, the poor kids are being put at greater risk!

Frankly - thats BOLLOX!

Some people need to grow up and kop themselves on.

CluelessGirl

Thats it I have decided I am going to bring my kids up GAY!

Everyone else has been brought up straight so why not!

I am gonna have super GAY kids.

Gary4279

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote: »

I can't believe this: obviously none of the posters here have been watching Sky1's documentary "Modern Family":
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2010/11/modern-family-lily-abc.jpg

Yeah very funny show. The two gay men with the baby are probably everyone favorite because they live up to the stereotype that most gay people hate. At the end of the day that's a show, not real life. The show isn't going to tell us about when the child grows up and gets bullied for her entire school life.

Maybe in 20 years gay adoption might be plausible, but at the moment there is a sector of Irish society which wouldn't accept a gay couple raising a child. It's sad, because I think that people who adopt will obviously love a child probably a lot more than the average scummer that get pregnant ever 10 months. However it's only fair to think of the child not the couples.

Naikon

Why is this even a question? Of course.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Gary4279 wrote: »

The show isn't going to tell us about when the child grows up and gets bullied for her entire school life.

Maybe in 20 years gay adoption might be plausible, but at the moment there is a sector of Irish society which wouldn't accept a gay couple raising a child. It's sad, because I think that people who adopt will obviously love a child probably a lot more than the average scummer that get pregnant ever 10 months. However it's only fair to think of the child not the couples.

20 years ago it wasn't acceptable for a single woman to raise a child.
20 years ago it wasn't acceptable for a mixed race couple to raise a child.

That doesn't make it right.

abouttobebanned

Biggins wrote: »

I have four kids - my answer is still YES.

What, because of their sexuality that makes them bad people?
O' yes, they are gay so any child in their care must be of course open to increased chances of abuse - and come on, lets not fcuk around the issue - thats what we are talking about here.
There is an underlying sub-conscious mentality that because someone has a different sexuality and one that you can't even belong to understand because your not in the same category - well of course it must be a dis-advantage.
Hell, the poor kids are being put at greater risk!

Frankly - thats BOLLOX!

Some people need to grow up and kop themselves on.

It's not about growing up, or kopping yourself on. I didn't have any strong feelings on this issue until I saw people like yourself there, who seem to believe that thinking it's preferable for a child to have a maternal parent over two gay men, is somehow Childish and idiotic.

People can say what they like on an internet forum, but I guarantee you that if you knew you were going to die in the morning and your newbord baby would be raised by two gay men, you wouldn't be best pleased.

And if someone brings the word homophobic into this argument they should be immediately chastised because it has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's the lack of a maternal figure that I'm concerned about, not the presence of two men.

sesna

Biggins wrote: »

What, because of their sexuality that makes them bad people?
O' yes, they are gay so any child in their care must be of course open to increased chances of abuse - and come on, lets not fcuk around the issue - thats what we are talking about here.

What was that??! Creates his own strawman and then knocks it down. It's clear from that post that Biggins thinks that any opponents to gay child adoption are homophobic and prejudiced. Pointless arguing with someone with such a narrow-minded entrenched position.

*Unsubscribes from another nonsense thread*

Tabnabs

Two Irish mammies? I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy

stovelid

Outrageous idea.

Why send a child to a loving, stable home created by two people of the same sex?

At least when you see a kid being dragged around the Luas at 9pm by two dazed junkies on a winter's night, you can console yourself that they're hetero junkies.

Standards and all that.

Taltos

I vote we update this thread to "should stupid people be allowed to post on the internet?"

a) Yes - cause we all need a laugh
b) Ah - gawd bless, you iz santa's special little helper little didums
c) No - let's save the internet from their dirty little fingers
d) Huh - wuts the internet got to do with da post?

Leftist

Yep. Great debate on RTE about a year ago on Kenny's show thing. This debate really tends to polarise the tolerant and the retards of society. The age old line that the anti-homosexuals use that teh kids would be messed up were thrown back in their face as they introduced people in the crowd who were raised by same sex couples and who had developed into perfectly normal human beings wow.
The best part of that whole debate was a FFer from Wexford coming on and telling people that good CHristian Republicans would be opposed to such a travesty. He couldn't have come across as more manipulative of the lowest common denominators if he tried.

Gary4279

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote: »

20 years ago it wasn't acceptable for a single woman to raise a child.
20 years ago it wasn't acceptable for a mixed race couple to raise a child.

That doesn't make it right.

I didn't say ot was wrong for a same sex couple to raise a child. What I said was that in Irish society the child would have a bad start in life as a result of it.

We can delude ourselves all we want as a society we're about 15 years behind America/Canada. And it's that delusion as a society, or a small sector of our society that would hinder a child.

Biggins

abouttobebanned wrote: »

People can say what they like on an internet forum, but I guarantee you that if you knew you were going to die in the morning and your newbord baby would be raised by two gay men, you wouldn't be best pleased.

My wedding day best-man was/is gay. He and his partner IN AN INSTANT I would trust completely to adopt my four kids should something happen to my wife and I.
The question doesn't even arise.

There is still an under-current of complete misunderstanding on this issue and a lot of it is closeted bigotry, some of which is disguised in any number of tried to be, more justified ways to advance their stupidity.

NuMarvel

Gary4279 wrote: »

I'm all for gay people being allowed to get married and have equal rights as straight couples and i'm sure within the next few years this will be achieved.

Thanks, that's mighty big of you!

However, I don't think they should be allowed to adopt children.

Oh.... so equal rights for everyone, but some are more equal than others? And for clarity, I know that no-one has an automatic right to adopt. I just don't see why same-sex couples can't apply to adopt as a family, in the same way as a hetero couple.

I just don't think it would be fair on the child to say for example have two fathers, and no mother figure. The child would more than likely be the subject of sever bullying in school.

I'm pretty sure severe bullying already happens in schools. What other measures are you proposing to eliminate this?

And as for having no mother/father figure, I presume that you're suggesting that single parent families should be done away with as well?

I also think it could leave the child confused as to how relationships work and asking question as to why he/she has two dads where as everyone else has one mother and one father.

Well in that case, let's not confuse the child at all and ban same sex couples from being intimate in public. No handholding. No playful banter. No hugs. After all, that would just raise awkward questions as well, wouldn't it?

And I refer to my previous point about single parent families. Surely that's even more confusing given it's presumably more prevelant that same sex couples.

Now I know many will argue that its better for a child to be with a gay couple than in an orphanage but having looked into it a bit there are next to none in Ireland.

So rather than letting a child in one of these few orphanages have ANY chance that he or she would be raised by a loving couple, you would rather they were left sitting around for a couple that meets with your approval?

I know my argument may seem a bit backward but when I asked myself if I'd like to have had two father I definitely wouldn't have.

When you were growing up, did you inform your parents of the type of parents you wished to have? Did they conform to this requirement? If not did, what measures did you take to get them into line?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Bizarrely this is one issue where a boards thread actually changed my idea on the topic full circle.

The bullying thing - kids don't actually get bullied for being short/fat/black/gay parents/divorced parents etc. They get bullied because a bully is able to intimidate them because they may perhaps lack the confidence or self esteem to stop the bully.

There's a good bit of research showing children of gay male couples do not suffer from things like this, or go on to earn less, or develop problems compared to children of straight parents. Amusingly children of gay female couples tend to do better than children of straight couples under similar criteria

Annasopra

Gary4279 wrote: »

Are you seriously going to tell me a child of a gay couple isn't going to get tormented in school Most people get bullied in school, some are unlucky to get bullied more than others. But a child of a gay couple is 100% sure to get tormented for his whole school life.

Yeah, I had that in but it was too long, you get the idea stop looking for a reason to piss yourself.

on that basis we shouldn't allow black people to adopt cause the kids might get bullied

Gary4279

Taltos wrote: »

I vote we update this thread to "should stupid people be allowed to post on the internet?"

a) Yes - cause we all need a laugh
b) Ah - gawd bless, you iz santa's special little helper little didums
c) No - let's save the internet from their dirty little fingers
d) Huh - wuts the internet got to do with da post?

Ahh name calling, your the kind of person that make Irish people look stupid to the rest of the world.

Its a valid argument that a lot of people agree with. Once again i'd like to point out that the point i'm making is that a child of a same sex couple wouldn't have the same advantages in life as one of a straight couple.

I think we're a few years away from the 'modern family' concept.

stovelid

Leftist wrote: »

The age old line that the anti-homosexuals use that teh kids would be messed up were thrown back in their face as they introduced people in the crowd who were raised by same sex couples and who had developed into perfectly normal human beings wow.

The obvious rejoinder here is obviously that straight couples often end up with gay kids, why should it be taken for granted that gay couples would automatically raise gay kids.

As a man, I would say though that it's good for a boy to have a regular male role model in his life, especially if he's been brought up in a deprived area. That can obviously be an uncle or family friend though.

Gary4279

Johnnymcg wrote: »

on that basis we shouldn't allow black people to adopt cause the kids might get bullied

20 years ago I would have agreed, because they would have been bullied. But come on, I left school 4 years ago and racism is a thing of the past these days, especially among younger people.

Homophobia is a few years off the mark.

El Weirdo

cosanostra wrote: »

I think a child needs a mother and a father to give that balance! The breakdown of the family unit has serious social implications

So let's make it illegal for parents to divorce then.