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30 Day Rule

  • 27-06-2011 9:42am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey guys,

    I've been reading a lot of the threads on here lately and have seen many posts about starting off with a 30 day target. I'm going to give it a go starting today, but my willpower ain't great. I'm not too worried about Mon-Wed, Thurs will be a little tougher but the weekend will be very difficult to abstain. I plan on keeping a daily diary on this thread if that's ok and look forward to your encouragement and support!


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Koltashe


    Well done! So half the day down already! lol A diary is a great thing, but try an keep a private one as well an write down when and why you feel like having a drink, then you can go back and analyze it to see what exactly is causing you to want to drink so you can avoid those situations or find a more productive ways to deal with issues that leave you craving a drink.
    And as for the weekend being the hardest try and plan your weekends in advance in such a way that you are kept away from your usual drinking spots or if you start getting calls/txt from friends asking you out you already have alternative plans and its easy to say no. I found it easier being somewhere else doing something rather than seating at home thinking of all the 'fun' my friends must be having in town right now lol

    Best of luck an keep us updated on ur progress!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Thanks!

    To be honest it's just habits or routines you get into and before you know it those routines have become far too regular and interfere with other aspects of your life. I would actually drink mostly at home and only go out 1-2 evenings a week, Friday @ 6pm is gonna be a killer! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Well done on the decision. My advice is to keep busy. And I mean, have an actual plan in place to be busy because if you get anxious or have cravings at any stage, making decisions on what do to next becomes much more difficult. So lay out a bit of a timetable for Thursday to Sundays.

    e.g. Reading, visiting an old uncle, cleaning out the garage, go for a drive to somewhere you've never been before, try a new exercise, anything at all but put it in the timetable.

    Defo for the first week or at times you think you will be most challenged.

    You can do it. Wishing you all the best.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Koltashe


    Since its drinking at home plan activities that will keep u out of the house...

    Another great thing to do is to volunteer with a charity and sign up to do smth for/with them on specific days/times... It can be easy enough to break a promise to urself (e.g. to go cycling Friday evening) but harder if you have a commitment to do something for others...

    Just in general try to make plans involving other people so its not as easy for you to opt and cancel
    Best of luck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,986 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    You need distractions OP and you need to break habits
    If you find you were stopping at the offie on your way home, well cycle to work and cycle home. You're not going into the shops in your shorts and all sweaty are you?

    Keep occupied. Going home and staring at the four walls would drive some people to drink just to distract themselves.

    Cycle, run, cinema, visit people. Just do something


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Thanks for the encouragement guys!

    I'm doing this for health reasons but also to save money and loose some weight. I've an awful habit of having a [good] few beers in the evening followed by a big dinner around 10pm - not good! Put on three stone in the last three years. Weighed my self this morning and got a shock to see I'm just shy of 20st! :eek::eek::eek:

    Eating habits are gonna have to change too but not drinking will help with that as beer gives you a false appetitie and some of this free time can now be spent exercising! ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19,986 ✭✭✭✭mikemac


    There's a weight loss challenge over in the Athletics forum. Lasts for eight weeks and your 30 days would be pretty close to the finish date

    If you want to sign up it's there. Lots of encouragement and good natured banter


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Nice warm evening, got an awful urge to go pick me up a few cold ones on the way home but made do with Pepsi! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Hi Mcmi dont know whether you are going for abstinence or not but if you are this might help,

    You must surrender completely to the idea that you can no longer drink successfully.

    You have to admit to yourself that it is no longer fun to get drunk.

    You have to admit that the good times with alcohol are over. That it is no good for you anymore. That you could have a better life without alcohol in it.

    This decision to quit drinking has to be absolute. You have to commit to the idea 100 percent. If you do not commit fully, with all of your heart, then you will drink again. Simple as that.

    It is a common mistake to believe that this decision is actually not a black and white one. But it is. People who have never been through recovery might believe that they can sort of wiggle into recovery, or that they might just fall into the habit of not drinking every day, see how it goes, maybe think that sobriety is rather nice and decide to keep doing it for a while, dum de dum……

    That is not reality. Sobriety is not like that at all. You don’t just ease into it and decide you like it.

    No, the decision to stay sober is likely the biggest decision you have ever made in your entire life. Seriously. You have likely never attempted anything of this same intensity before. You have to commit with everything that you've got.

    Wishing you the best,its great living a sober life :-)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Thanks for posting realies!

    I don't know if I'm ready for that sort of a decision yet. I've been promising myself for a long time that I would give it a go but never lasted more than a few days. At the moment I'm gonna take it one day at a time! ;)

    The reason I've posted all this here is because in the past I've had no problem letting myself down by not lasting more than 2/3 days off it. Funny thing is with all the encouragement here I would hate to come back in a day or two and let you guys down. ;)

    Keep up the encouragement and support!:)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Do it for yourself first, that's a priority. You can worry about us when your sorted :-)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Day 1 down! :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Day 2

    Got home from work and the missus said she was going to have a glass of wine and did I want to get myself some beers. I said NO! :)

    That's a major first for me and the truth be known I didn't want one anyway - thanks lads! ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Well done,

    have you any plans for your witching hour & cravings, you need to be prepared.as they will come.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    realies wrote: »
    Well done,

    have you any plans for your witching hour & cravings, you need to be prepared.as they will come.

    Thanks realies!

    Now on Day 3 and feeling pretty good about myself. Still, it's nice and sunny out and come 6pm on the drive home I'm going to be tempted. Trick is to go straight home then eat something small straight away, even a cracker with a bit of cheese. Kills it pretty quick! :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 813 ✭✭✭Satanta


    Be wary when you are feeling good too. When you are feeling good you can sometimes think 'sure why not, I'm feeling great! But keeping positive and upbeat is also important


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Day 4 almost done! :)

    This is probably the longest I have gone without a beer in 15 years and you know what, it's been getting a little easier every day. The real test will be Friday evening at 6pm - I know that's going to be a killer but I reckon I'm able for it!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    MCM well done so far, Are you ready for friday ? as you know failing to plan is planning to fail.Keep yourself busy for the weekend old hobbies, read a good book etc etc.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    You wouldn't go wrong by getting or buying Alan carr's easy way to stop drinking, good read even if you dont want to stop completely.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    realies wrote: »
    MCM well done so far, Are you ready for friday ? as you know failing to plan is planning to fail.Keep yourself busy for the weekend old hobbies, read a good book etc etc.

    The weekend is gonna be tough all right! I'm in the right frame of mind for tomorrow but that might be different come 6pm. I've got a few jobs and a polish to do on the car Saturday and a car show to attend Sunday so should be ok. I really think I can do it!

    Thanks for the encouragement realies - you have no idea how much it has helped! ;)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Well done MCMLXXXV,

    Doesn't it feel amazing to get through even just the first few days?

    Realies is great, always there with great advice. I agree on the Allan Carr book. I refer back to it often. I also bought the Jason Vale book which, to be honest, is practically identical, but with a slightly more updated, younger persons feel to it. Both make so much sense and provide you with tons of motivation through pure logic and myth busting.

    I'm off it 30 something days now (after nearly 30 years drinking), and though I don't get cravings as such, every so often I get this overwhelming feeling of 'what am I doing?' - I'm a social leper etc', then it passes as quickly as it arrived. Of course I'm not a social leper but that's what 80% of the adults in Ireland would have you believe. You have to be strong against this attitude. What you are doing is a mind-blowingly magical thing and you will rediscover life and the way it should be - full of fun and colour and energy.

    Anyhow, I'd better shut up preaching and do some work ... but keep it up and keep busy - you are doing so well so far!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Must.............Resist.............Temptation...........Nnnnnnrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 813 ✭✭✭Satanta


    Imagine how good you'll feel tomorrow with a clear head getting the car all polished up


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Satanta wrote: »
    Imagine how good you'll feel tomorrow with a clear head getting the car all polished up

    It was a tough one - but I kept myself busy! ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Well done you!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Good for you MCM, Now you can be a bit more prepared for the nex time you feel your cravings or withching hour coming on.And they will come ;-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Koltashe


    SO how did you get on on the weekend?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Hello MCM how did it go ?

    Ps if you drank it doesn't matter as it only took me 15 to 10 years to stop :-)

    Do you feel that you progressed as far as you hoped or are you feeling like a hamster on a wheel, running and running but not getting anywhere. In either case you need to ask yourself what your priorities are? Do you have change as a priority?

    Make your own recovery the first priority in your life and the rest will follow through,Drop us a line.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    Hey guys,

    Fell off the horse Saturday which I feel pretty bad about. Got back up Monday though and been a good boy since.:)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,624 ✭✭✭votecounts


    don't worry about it, you can start fresh this week.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    MCMLXXV wrote: »
    Hey guys,

    Fell off the horse Saturday which I feel pretty bad about. Got back up Monday though and been a good boy since.:)


    MCM You should have learned a lot about yourself, your drinking and the problems that you have. However you should have also learned that the power to change lies within you, provided you have the will to use it.
    Success seems to be connected to action,successful people keep moving,they make mistakes,but they dont quit,so if your still up for it start again :-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 86 ✭✭Koltashe


    But you didnt on Friday! Now that is some progress already!

    Look dont beat yourself up! It is not easy, small steps one at a time! Try and organize yourself for this coming weekend, have a good solid plan in place to keep yourself occupied. It takes practice and perseverance and willingness to give up in itself is a big and major step. There will be slip ups, dont be embarrassed about it just accept that it happened see where you went wrong, (e.g. attended a birthday party/had no alternative plans for the evening etc) and look for ways to avoid the same trap next time.

    You doing great, keep up at it! Best of luck this weekend!


  • Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭ShizDink


    Hey MCM, I'm jumping on your bandwagon here ;) I realised this morning that I have been drinking for nearly half my life now, and I'm not very good at it at all. I thought I would have built up a tolerance or learn to moderate by this stage but I haven't. 14th of August is 30 days from now. Lets do this :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭ShizDink


    MCM hows it going? I had planned to see a friend in pub on Sat night but didn't go. The conversation with this person generally requires a couple of pints so I thought best to avoid it. I will only be going to the pub with people I can enjoy a cup of tea with. Yesterday went round to a friends house for dinner and was offered wine but refused (had car with me which helped). I did feel sorry for myself at first but conversation moved on quickly and I forgot about it. Dinner was lovely and I didn't overindulge the way I would had I been drinking. Really enjoyed it. Alcohol is such a big part of a dinner party that I assumed the food and the craic wouldn't be half a nice without it. I was wrong. I think the more I do this the less important the drink will be.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    It hasn't been going at all!

    Fresh start again today after a pretty heavy weekend of it. :o


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  • Registered Users Posts: 76 ✭✭seanrose


    Hello guys,

    Have been off it now for a week,how i feel this monday compared to last monday is like night and day.Was really a binge drinker at the weekends and i felt like i may as well have been drinking during the week as well the fact that it took me that long for the depression and how bad i felt.

    My plan is to the end of August and then i will take stock of my life then and hopefully i will feel like i know longer feel that alcohol should be a part of my life and that my life is better without the hangovers and embarrasment


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    We must try and remember that what your doing truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way.But it is well worth the while, You will feel,act & be healthy not just in body but in mind also,Go for it :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Lovely advice, Realies. Good sound advice. I'm still breaking it to friends and family (one by one) that I'm no longer drinking and to be honest, I hold my breath every time because the reaction is mixed. It's rare that anyone is absolutely delighted for me, more often they are suspicious or downright disappointed, and not afraid to say/show it.

    It's a bit of a lonely road but I keep reminding myself of the bigger picture, what I want from life for me, not the bar flies I've been hanging around with and I hope that some of my friends, the ones that matter, stick with me. And if they don't, well so be it, I'll find new ones. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 clearblue


    Hi All
    I was just wondering has anyone tried Antabuse or Naltrexone im an alcoholic and cant seem to stop.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Never tried them myself so cant say to much about them,But I do know that antabuse makes you sick if you drink on it where as naltrexone you take as you gradually stop drinking,but anyway there are no miracle cures out there :-)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 813 ✭✭✭Satanta


    You should phone a treatment centre for some advice. What part of the country are you in?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3 clearblue


    Im in Carlow. I went for treatment to thamkrabok Monastery in thailand and stead off it for 6 months but fell off the wagon and i am know as bad as ever and was thinking could these drugs help me


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Clearblue as you have gone clean before you no what it takes to stop drinking,Meds (imo)can only help you some of the way,most of it is down to us personally,as santana has said ring a treatment centre, here is the numbers for kinda local ones down your way.


    Aiséirí Treatment Centres
    Aiséirí Cahir tel: 052/ 744 1166 Aiséirí Wexford tel: 053/ 914 1818


  • Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭ShizDink


    Just about 10 days into the 30 and I had a baileys coffee this afternoon in a friends :o was thinking a glass of wine in the sun before the roast would be nice. Have opted for sparkling fruit flavoured water instead. Still debating the wine though. No actually I can enjoy the roast just as easily without the wine and I won't be sleepy after then. Wine goes so well with a roast though :(


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Going to give it a go myself starting today.


  • Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭ShizDink


    Going to give it a go myself starting today.

    Yehhhh!!! band wagon away :) I didn't have wine yesterday to much restraint. I'm not countying a baileys coffee as havin a drink, it was more like a substitution for milk ;) a food group if you will :D still in the running for a massage.


  • Registered Users Posts: 444 ✭✭Molloys Clondalkin


    17 DAYS off it myself
    after the first weekend it was tough esp with the gf drinking around me,
    But I stuck too it and Im doing ok still get the pangs though but there far between now.
    something good I found was to watch a whole series of something on tv/online etc once I get past opening hours Im good.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 318 ✭✭Kaneda_


    Ive tried so many times and failed.

    Its so hard to get into my head that i will never be able to drink again,its like a loss that im inflicting on myself.

    I wonder what my life would be like if i was to quit.

    Alcohol and drug taking used to actually be fun,but now the fun is gone, and i see my friends have a similar/same problem, and ironic as it is we only talk about it when we are drinking!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    People if i may say if you’ve had an addiction to drink for a long time, then you’ve probably not got many hobbies left. In fact quite often, drinking is the only activity you actually do for fun. So when you try and stop, boredom is the biggest hurdle. There’s no way around it – you’re going to have to try some new activities.
    When you’ve found a few that you like, make sure you schedule them in every week:
    “On Tuesday I’m going swimming, on Thursday I’m going to the cinema with Sally, on Saturday I’m getting out to the countryside for a walk with my partner.”
    It will feel weird to some to plan your week this way, but in the early stages of stopping drinking, it’s essential.Go for it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 37 CatHerder


    Hi guys, I'm coming up on 90 days sober now. I'm not really counting them or marking a calendar but I know my last drink was 3rd of May. This is my second attempt to stop. I got 6 months first time round but managed to rationalize my way back into controlled drinking which worked for about 4 months and then went pear shaped. Overall I'm feeling good about myself but it can be hard to have confidence in my sobriety.
    realies wrote: »
    People if i may say if you’ve had an addiction to drink for a long time, then you’ve probably not got many hobbies left. In fact quite often, drinking is the only activity you actually do for fun.
    Like realies saying, the mistake I made first time round was to try to quit drinking without changing my lifestyle. I was actually meeting my drinking mates in clubs and drinking cokes and such :( This time round I've cut all that out and replaced it with support group activities.


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