Dealing with my mam's passing

jayjay69

I have recently lost my mother three months ago and Iv not been feeling like myself at all. I have my good and bad days but i generally just feel really depressed and down in myself. My friends have noticed iv become more quiet and I can't seem to ever enjoy myself when i go out. I always feel so awkward and uncomfortable! I lost my Dad when i was six and i took that really hard and it affected me in school and even made it hard for em to make friends because I became so withdrawn and shy. It took me years to get back to myself and enjoy life and now im afraid i'll feel like this for a long time. I'ts so hard to explain in words what it feels like but I am considering getting counselling and I was wondering if anyone in a similar situation has got it and did it help?

Walls

I lost Mum in February this year. I know exactly how you feel.

Getting help for any traumatic event is always a good idea. I wouldn't expect to be yourself for a while, and reacting to such a loss is normal.

The very best of luck to you.

jayjay69

Thanks walls. So sorry to hear of your loss x

Hi couldnt sleep came across your post. So sorry.
Its all normal what you are going through and to be honest it wont get any better for a while. Go for the counselling, it can help.

Lost my Mam in august,still hurting,still cant sleep

Your'e not alone even though you might feel you are. Look after yourself.

J

Lorr2

Hi JayJay,

Sorry to hear about your Mam.

I lost my Mom in April of last year and I still find it a struggle. I did see a counsellor once but found it really wasnt for me.
Everything you said you feel is exactly how I felt and still do at times. Even just talking to people can be a struggle sometimes, I just want to be left alone in my own little world.

If you're not sure about it there is an online support group on www.aware.ie It's annonymous so you might find it easier to open up about how you feel.

Hope this might help

Take Care

jayjay69

Thanks Lorr. I'll check it out x

guitarzero

Hey, just came across your post. Just wanna say I'm really sorry about your loss. I relate to your post even though I havent lost a parent but states of depression like you described above are something I can more than relate to. Hang in, try and be with those who you are close to and try to find love in those who you care for. Take care.

jayjay69

Hey thanks for that. I've been doing exactly that what you said and it has helped a bit. It's ****e that friends or even family can't help you through it as its something you have to go through yourself. Feeling better than I have two months ago but there are days where all i wanna do is hide under a cover and cry... just looking forward now that's whats keeping me going.

nettie1

jayjay69 wrote: »

It's ****e that friends or even family can't help you through it as its something you have to go through yourself.

Hi, my dad died a few years ago and my mother suffers from cancer so I have experience of grief and I would have to disagree with the fact that people can't help you. They can distract you, stop you ruminating, bring a little unexpected joy into an otherwise dreary day. Of course you have to go through grief yourself and it can feel like a very lonely time, but that's exactly why you should try to gather people around you, in a way that feels comfortable for you.

Chocchipcookie

Hi jayjay
so sorry about your mam. its very hard, i know. my mam passed suddenly in march. i cant get over it. i think about her all the time. sometimes i forget and think about calling over to see her, then i remember and its like a punch in the gut!
Nothing i can say will really make you feel better. The best advice i got was "you'll never get over, you just get used to it".
I feel alone, as it seems everyone has moved on and they expect me to do the same, like in work or whatever. If you have a partner/sibling/best friend you can talk to, do so. tell them how you are feeling and you'll be surprised at how much support you can get.
feel free to PM me if you every need to chat.
xx