15month old night routine gone out the window

GT_TDI_150

Hi all,
I wondering could some one help us with the following:

We have a 15month old boy, who up to 7days ago was really good going to bed.
He would get 2 plain biscuits and a bottle of milk(normal) at about 19:30.
He would eat the 2 biscuits and have about 1/2 of the milk.
He would then have his bath @ 08:00, come down stairs get dressed.
He would then fins=ish his bottle and grab me by the hand to go upstairs.
Once upstairs I put him down, sing some lullabys(?) and best case scenario in 5mins he's off, worst case 30min.
But since last week something has changed, we still follow the same routine but...
he would lie in his bed for 30-40-50mins, but not close his eyes? When you think he's asleep and try leave the room he'll sit up.
eventually he would get up and cry hysterically, work himself in such a state that the sweat is litteraly dripping off him!
I would bring him down stairs, 30mins later when he is tired again, take him back up but as soon as he enters his room he starts bucking and screaming?
At this stage we put hi in our bed, but he is absolutely wired, laughing, standing up .....
Origionally we blamed some chocolate he was given by my mother in law, but we made sure he hasnt had any since,
We changed his bath product back to the lavender one(had been changed months back but worth a try),
we've stopped the bottle and biscuits @ 19:30 and just give him a bottle after his bath(this was his routine up to 2 months ago)
we've started closing the door to his toy room and turning off the telly, eventhough this was never an issue before, to take away the distractions.
we've started 'story time'
we even had him outside most of sunday hoping the fresh air would wreck him
But none of the above worked, as a result he is falling asleep later 23:00+ and also sleeping longer 09:00+ which I think might be causing him not to be tired at night?

Any thoughts?

Das Kitty

He could be teething.

Our fella started behaving similarly when getting his last round of teeth. We got into the habit of trying to rock him to sleep and staying in with him. Soon we realised that we had no life and he was getting worse and worse at going to sleep.

So eventually we decided to do controlled crying. It turned out to be painless (probably because he was always very good at going to sleep). We would leave the room, wait one minute of him crying, go back in and lie him down with his dummy and teddy saying nothing) then walk out again.

Had to do this twice a night (5 minutes tops) for a week and he went back to waving us goodbye from his cot.

For us, sitting in with him while he was going to sleep was only disturbing him and making him need us there to go to sleep and stay asleep.

hacked

Maybe some mothers will think im very cruel, but every baby is different!

I've done controlled crying with my little girl from quite young (shes now 15 months). She's very stubborn, so this works perfectly for us. She's learned that mummy is only going to come in and get her if theres a real problem. In fact, theres no point in me going in unless there is something wrong, because she'll only get more angry if I do go in and dont pick her up to play with her!! If she doesnt want to go off to sleep straight away, thats fair enough she just sits and plays in her cot.

It could be teething, my little girl is having trouble with that.

It could also just be the baby asserting themselves. Herself does that as well. She just decides she wants to play.

cynder

hacked wrote: »

I've done controlled crying with my little girl from quite young (shes now 15 months). She's very stubborn, so this works perfectly for us. She's learned that mummy is only going to come in and get her if theres a real problem. .

How do you know there is a real probelm do you not have to go in a check? what exacly would you class as a real problem its not as if she can tell you whats wrong.

Also OP, babys go through phases, could be teething, growing spurt, longer daylight hours, he could even be over tierd. What works for one baby wont work for the next.

Try and make your guys room as dark as possible, it hard to sleep in a light room.

caprilicious

grindelwald wrote: »

How do you know there is a real probelm do you not have to go in a check? what exacly would you class as a real problem its not as if she can tell you whats wrong.


Try and make your guys room as dark as possible, it hard to sleep in a light room.

At a guess I'd imagine hacked means by her cry? if she is just whinging you would know the difference in cry than if she was in pain?
I know my little lady has a really put on whinge if she wants something that she knows she's not allowed to have

I agree with you about making the room as dark as possible, I find the black out blinds brilliant, even on the brightest of days out.

Op, it sounds like you have a really good routine in place already with your child.
I agree with the other posters that have mentioned teething. My little girl is 14 months and teething for the past 3-4 weeks.
She was in a really good routine for months sleeping right through the night, but its gone out the window entirely.
Exactly as you described, wont sleep when in her own room, but take her into our room & she's bouncing on the bed full of giggles :rolleyes:

We keep saying we're going to try the controlled crying, but this weekend we definitely will. I'm so sleep deprived at this stage from getting up throughout the night with her

I hope you can work it out soon & get your baby back into a routine & get your nights sleep back

cynder

caprilicious wrote: »

At a guess I'd imagine hacked means by her cry? if she is just whinging you would know the difference in cry than if she was in pain?

I dont know about that, mine seemed to be in emotional pain rather than physical pain. I think its always best to check a crying baby, would hate to think what would happen if the baby stopped crying and you went in, in the morning to find baby dead.

I remember a story about a couple who had their baby down stairs and left it crying, thought it was a pick me up and cuddle me cry ,anyway after a while they went down to find the puppy and bitten all the babies toes off, the puppy was playing tug a war with the babies feet. Poor thing!

Teething does seem to cause some babies to alter their routine, you cant leave a teething baby to cry it out.

How Strange

My son is teething too and his sleep routine is completely messed up. He woke at 2am this morning and that was pretty much that. He cries in his sleep too. We've had a very erratic sleep pattern for well over a month.

I put him down for a nap just now, he's exhausted but cried his heart out. I just had to leave him be and check
every now and then that he had his
soother. He eventually went to sleep but his eyes were rolling in his head and he kept fighting it.

hacked

grindelwald....i think your attitude is a little judgemental. I find it downright offensive that you would even mention hating to walk in in the morning and find your child dead!! :eek: I am not a negligent mother!

We each know our children and their cries. My daughter has tantraums, whinges and real cries. If I ever have a doubt about a cry ill go in to her. I stand at her door and peek in to check her too. I don't leave her crying for hours! You don't know me or my child. She is very stubborn and if i were to go in to her to try and see if hse is ok when shes crying, it wouldnt calm her down, it would just her more upset as she has giant temper tantraums that i don't pick her up.

That's why you train them. It took a couple of weeks, and then she got the hint that i wasnt going to come in and pick her up and play with her just because she was pissed off. Now she goes down happily, doesnt even bother crying.

Controlled crying does not mean leaving your child to scream and wail for years. Nor does it mean leaving your child to scream for hours at a time. There's a damn big difference between negligence and controlled crying!!!

cynder

No judgement intended, that was MY worst fear so I would never let any of my 3 cry for longer than 2 mins, I would always go into them, and settle them, whatever way people want to bring up their kids is up to them. I must say that if i had one of those heart beat mats and a video link from their room i would be less of a hurry to go in and pick them up. I should have really pointed out that it was my worst fear and that i would have hated walking into the room to find my baby dead after leaving them crying for an hour or so.


You did what worked for you, i did what worked for me.

For what its worth my kids are no longer babies and dont cry at night and sleep in their own beds. No they weren't spoilt, but they knew if they wanted a cuddle i would give it too them they are only babies once.

bulmersgal

hacked wrote: »

grindelwald....i think your attitude is a little judgemental. I find it downright offensive that you would even mention hating to walk in in the morning and find your child dead!! :eek: I am not a negligent mother!

We each know our children and their cries. My daughter has tantraums, whinges and real cries. If I ever have a doubt about a cry ill go in to her. I stand at her door and peek in to check her too. I don't leave her crying for hours! You don't know me or my child. She is very stubborn and if i were to go in to her to try and see if hse is ok when shes crying, it wouldnt calm her down, it would just her more upset as she has giant temper tantraums that i don't pick her up.

That's why you train them. It took a couple of weeks, and then she got the hint that i wasnt going to come in and pick her up and play with her just because she was pissed off. Now she goes down happily, doesnt even bother crying.

Controlled crying does not mean leaving your child to scream and wail for years. Nor does it mean leaving your child to scream for hours at a time. There's a damn big difference between negligence and controlled crying!!!

Hacked it sounds like we have the same baby, Elisha done this all last week because she was getting her first molar. I did have to go in once or twice as her cry changed into hysterical and i new she needed to be calm done. So last week we had two cases of bed time becoming 9 or 10. Now were back to normal, usually she cries for minute maybe 2 then goes asleep. We are having big problems with her nap as she's fighting that as well. Also the fact that 5am has become the new time to wake up and demand a bottle then fall back asleep.

Op i suggest you just keep trying in few days they should be back to normal.

caprilicious

grindelwald wrote: »

I dont know about that, mine seemed to be in emotional pain rather than physical pain. I think its always best to check a crying baby, would hate to think what would happen if the baby stopped crying and you went in, in the morning to find baby dead.

I remember a story about a couple who had their baby down stairs and left it crying, thought it was a pick me up and cuddle me cry ,anyway after a while they went down to find the puppy and bitten all the babies toes off, the puppy was playing tug a war with the babies feet. Poor thing!

Teething does seem to cause some babies to alter their routine, you cant leave a teething baby to cry it out.

I'm not doubting you personally, but that story sounds like an urban legend. A child enduring the kind of physical pain of having their toes bitten of would be absolutely shrieking/screaming the house down as opposed to a dull whine cry of a child seeking attention.


My daughter like hacked's is very independent & stubborn I will have to go down the controlled crying route at night.
I do it during the day as hacked does, not going into her; as she drops off to sleep in under 5 minutes when left alone.
Whereas if I kept popping in, she would cry continuously to be picked up, regardless of how exhausted she is.
I always go in once she has gone quiet to ensure she is ok.

I worked in childcare for several years & continue to do so a few hours each week.
Every nursery I have worked in has also practiced controlled crying.
Never to the detriment of the child, once the initial phase of getting them used to it was over (generally a week), sleep time became a much more pleasant experience as the child knows there is no need to cry going to bed, they simply relax and go to sleep

How Strange, that has to be really tough having baby awake from 2am :eek: you must be shattered Hopefully its a phase that will pass soon.

cynder

http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html


Interesting article, but of course it's up to each mother how they want to get their child to sleep.

Ayla

OP - I would second those on here who've suggested sticking to your normal routine & giving it some time. Sometimes if a child's not feeling 100% b/c of teething or other irritations it can throw off their entire sleeping pattern. I personally would not think a week of unusual sleep routine would be enough to warrent controlled crying - yet.

Our 21 month old has been ill the last 2 weeks and that's really affected her sleep. She's spent most of the days on our knee & although she had been sleeping well for a few months, this illness was wrecking her nighttimes too. Now that she's (slowly) recovering, so is her sleep.

As a suggestion, though, I would say not to change too much too quickly in desperation. That can confuse the child which confounds the problem.

Good luck to you - I can sympathise

JimsAlterEgo

Has something else changed? You around more or less? Same with Daddy? Change of Creche? Change of feeding routine in daytime?
it can sometimes be the least obvious things.

woggie

Hey OP, I've heard lots of mums having similar issues with babies at that age ...i'd imagine it has something to do with all their new found independence with all the things they can do for themselves at that age ...maybe it creeps over into their sleeping behaviour! Also I wonder could he be over tired i've heard that this can actually prevent them settling! What's his daytime napping routine like?

My little fella went through a change in his sleep pattern at around 14 months but for us it was in the morninng. he just started walking up at 5:30am and refusing to go back to sleep or stay in his cot. went on for about 2 weeks, i was wrecked. no idea what kicked it off, but we just changed his day time nap routine and it seemed to work.
e.g.
Originally his routine was : Wake around 7am/7:30, bottle, up, breakfast/playtime, then nap at 10:30. he'd tend to sleep for about 2 hours, never had an afternoon nap, couldn't get him to take one though i'd sometimes put him in the cot for half an hour of 'quiet time' as much as for me as for him! dinner at 6, bath and bed at 7pm.
then, as I said, he started walking at 5:30 am so what we did was, we started only letting him nap for 30 mins in the morning (i felt really bad waking him after half an hour though but stuck with it). Then we'd put him back down for proper nap at around 1pm and he'd have a good 2-3 hours which would do him until a slightly later bedtime of 7:30. We introduced the new routine very gradually but we now have him back to 12 hour sleep 7:30pm - 7:30am on most nights...there'll always be an exception Some days I don't give him the 30 mins in the morning at all, it depends on his mood but I find it better to give the after noon nap as it carries him through til bedtime and he settles without any trouble at 7:30

Hope that helps.