Guardianship

sweetheart

hi folks just looking for some opinions on this subject. I will try to give as much info as possible without going on a bit.

my son is 8 and his father is seeking guardianship. While Im all for equality, this guy has never stepped up to the mark in regards to decisions in the childs life. He left me when i announced i was pregnant and didnt see his son for the first 2 and a half yrs of his life. While now he has a good relationship with our son he has decided he needs more time for himself but yet still applying for guardianship . Im sorry but sometimes i would have loved more time to myself in the last 8 yrs in which i have been rearing him on my own. I genuinely dont believe he has our sons best interest at heart when applying for this. He has only every contributed one to school supplies and at that i had to degrade myself to ask him for it, he has never been involved in any school meetings, never enquired about them and never been to school plays. He was never there when our son underwent 3 surgeries. So my question is, do you think im being unfair in contesting this guardianship application. I just wish I could appoint someone else as a joint guardian before he applies for it, someone who has played a more vital role in my sons life than his father has and no i dont me another man i mean a grandparent before people jump to conclusions.

please feel free to ask me any questions if a little more insight is needed.

January

Your sons father will be granted guardianship unless there is a good reason not to (i.e. he is a danger to the child)

planetX

+1
Don't waste your energy with this, my sons father got it and he didn't even live in this country. Unless he's a criminal he will get it.
On the other hand, it won't really affect you - except that you should make a will expressing your wishes in regard to another family member also having guardianship should you die.

sweetheart

thanks guys. I partly guessed I was wasting my time trying to contest it. It just drives me mad to know that hes not doing it for the childs sake. Hes only doing it to make my life hell by disagreeing with every decision i make from now on when he was happy enough in the past to leave me have all that responsibilty when he didnt have a care in the world:mad::mad::mad:

sparkling sea

You can contest it and there is always the possibility you will win. Also you can apply for legal aid when taken the case

Most guardianship requests are granted but if you can put forward really good reason why the father should not have guardianship it may be worth your while contesting it. The reasons have to be real and not just because its not something you think is right - prove why its not in your childs best interests.

And from citizens advice the following information should be acted on just in case the worst happens and the childs father is not a reliable parent.
It's very important if you are the guardian of a child (especially if you are a mother and sole guardian) that you make a will, appointing a guardian to act on your behalf in the event of your death. It's strongly advised that you talk this over with someone who could act as guardian and that he/she gives his/her consent to being named in your will as testamentary guardian.

The child's surviving guardian (if there is one) will then act jointly with the new guardian.

metrovelvet

Given that he has not shown up for THREE operations in eight years, you have a shot at contesting it as he has demonstrated that he is not available or reliable for consenting to health decisions, which could potentially put the child at risk as well as make the health authoriities vulnerable to a law suit. I would certainly focus on that as many judges and parents would see that has putting the child at risk.

sweetheart

By all means if I thought it would benefit my son in any way I would sign the form willingly,

I genuinely would. But I honestly believe he is only doing this out of spite and to make my life hell by disagreeing with whatever decisions I make from now on. One solicitor has already advised me that because he pays maintenance there is a good chance he will be granted the guardianship if contested but I dont see that as grounds to grant guardianship to a person who has had no interest in making decisions about the childs life all along. I have another appointment with a different solicitor on Friday so hopefully that will shed more light on my situation. Does anyone know if I could appoint a joint guardian myself before his father applies for it??? Probably a long shot but worth asking. And if there are single fathers online please dont judge me for asking that question, as I said if I thought it was in the best interest of the child I would sign the form straight away no questions asked about it.

Metrovelvet:
I have been reading alot of your previous posts in different threads and you seem to have quite a bit of knowledge on this. Any further tips:(

snowdaze

if he gets guardianship will he then have to sign on passport applications over the years - I have this trouble now and am in court tomorrow for the kids passports because their father refuses to sign - just to create hassle for me!

sweetheart

snowdaze wrote: »

if he gets guardianship will he then have to sign on passport applications over the years - I have this trouble now and am in court tomorrow for the kids passports because their father refuses to sign - just to create hassle for me!

well i only renewed his passport last year so at least thats ok for a few years. Its horrible when they do that because at the end of the day its the kids are losing out.:mad:

metrovelvet

sweetheart wrote: »

Metrovelvet:
I have been reading alot of your previous posts in different threads and you seem to have quite a bit of knowledge on this. Any further tips:(

Not really.

I would not be of the persuasion of others who say because the majority get it you shoud not contest it. Ultimately you know your ex and your situation better than anyone else does.

I would be very hesitant to grant guardianship to someone who did not show up for three operations, having taken my son through two operations myself and knowing what is involved both medically and legally to be left high and dry with the child and the procedure not being able to proceed because the consent form is blank or something happens during the procedure where mutal consent is needed.

You child had three ops and he cant even show up for one... come on. :rolleyes:

Even if he does get it and the court records show you did contest it, when he does do something to put your child at risk or acts irresponsibly it is on a legal record that you tried to prevent this from happenning and the fault then lies with the judge. That would be by philosophy about things.

Also, what I would do is petitition for a full custody order. If your ex does get a partial custody order with you, and continues not to honour it, have the guards witness it, that he didnt show up, and then you can petition the court again, to ammend the custody order, restoring full custody to you and possibly to have guardianship revoked.

sweetheart

metrovelvet wrote: »

Not really

Even if he does get it and the court records show you did contest it, when he does do something to put your child at risk or acts irresponsibly it is on a legal record that you tried to prevent this from happenning and the fault then lies with the judge. That would be by philosophy about things.


have you any idea what the judge would deem irresponsible? sorry but i never had to deal with anything like this before so im a little hazy on the details. would he deem not showing up for a visit irresponsible or would it be a much serious issue.

I really appreciate all the replies. I just dont want to go into this with my eyes closed.

sparkling sea

Yoiu will find it almost impossible to find a solictor why will advise you to contest guardianship, however, this means nothing. Worst case you contest the application and the father gets guardianship anyway - best case you win.

You have nothing to lose in contesting this. If the childs father is not ready for the responsibility and has shown that he is not ready give the judge this information. If your solicitor is going to ask to you to speak in court make notes of the points you want to get across, just in case you get overwhelmed and forget what you want to say.

A judge will always be willing to hear the voice of a concerned parent who has proved that they are a responsible parent - as I said you have nothing to lose.

Even if guardianship is granted its not the end of the world even if it is really annoying because it is not being requested for the right reasons