Child caught looking at porn

G.K.

al28283 wrote: »

I would be more concerned about a 15yo male who had never watched porn than one who had

What are your concerns?

Sleepy

A total lack of interest in porn would be a clear sign that a teenage boy had hormone issues (i.e. puberty hadn't kicked in yet) tbh.

johnmcdnl

give him the talk and tell him it's natural to look at porn

he'll be so embarrassed getting this talk from his auld doll that he'll never look at porn again

Delancey

OP , while it may be a shock to you that your child is a ' sexual being ' the fact is that every (and I mean every) lad looks at porn be it Playboy or brochures for Dolphin Showers.
It is perfectly normal and the worst thing you can do is make a big deal out of it.

What is is that distresses you so much about it ?

Charco2006

Leave the lad alone and be happy he's healthy and well. Take a look at the world and see that if thats the worst thing he does then you have nothing to worry about

actuallylike

Sharrow wrote: »

I do think you need to talk to him about porn and what is acceptable and not acceptable in your house, lay down some ground rules.

Please please PLEEEEASE don't do this. If my mum started telling me what porn I could watch in her house it'd be the be the most mortifying experience in my life

"Now Billy, I don't mind you looking at any of that anal stuff but any interracial and you'll feel the back of my hand"

Sounds like your kids going through the motions of life, let him be.

iguana

flutterflye wrote: »

He is less than a year away than being legally able to have sex himself.

Less than two years, in Ireland the age of consent is 17.

flutterflye

iguana wrote: »

Less than two years, in Ireland the age of consent is 17.

Yeah, I only realised that myself last night when I was reading some article or other.

When I was 16 though (10 years ago), I really thought it was 17 for girls and 16 for boys.

Did it used to be this way, or am I going mad Ted?

liliq

flutterflye wrote: »

Yeah, I only realised that myself last night when I was reading some article or other.

When I was 16 though (10 years ago), I really thought it was 17 for girls and 16 for boys.

Did it used to be this way, or am I going mad Ted?

I thought the same...!

Morag

It was changed to 17 for both.

Orion

It's 17 now anyway: http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/2006/en/act/pub/0015/sec0003.html#sec3

It may have been different before - I have a feeling it was too.

But that's for another thread - let's keep this one to the subject of porn*.



*I never thought I'd get to say that as a Parenting mod

nesf

Orion wrote: »

But that's for another thread - let's keep this one to the subject of porn*.

So should we start collecting a series of links to give as a package to our teenage boys to give them a taste for the subject?

"Here's some good stuff son. I particularly like no. 3."

liliq

Honestly I wouldn't worry about a 15 year old male or female looking at porn- I'm sure I was having a sneaky peek at porn any opportunity I could when I was that age! It's a very natural curiosity, and it's not like the sex ed videos they show you in school tell you much!! :rolleyes:
Surely not many people can honestly say they were too many years older before they saw anything pornographic? I'm sure a lot of people have even had sex by that age without any hugely negative impact!

Like has been said by a few posters already- as long as the material isn't waaayyyy out there and isn't left out in plain sight for younger siblings to come across, it's pretty harmless.
If there are no boundaries being crossed (I'm sure you don't want to hear the orgasmic soundtrack at full volume etc.) I'd leave well enough alone!

Morag

nesf wrote: »

So should we start collecting a series of links to give as a package to our teenage boys to give them a taste for the subject?

"Here's some good stuff son. I particularly like no. 3."

I'd consider that a bit far tbh and also limiting him in exploring his sexuality and sexual preferences.

However I do plan on having a talk with mine on the ethics of pron.
We've had some discussions already about porn prompted by them and it's not a topic I am embarrassed about at all.

nesf

Sharrow wrote: »

I'd consider that a bit far tbh and also limiting him in exploring his sexuality and sexual preferences.

Eh, in what world could my post have been taken as being serious?

*hands a bunch of porn mags to his teenager*
"Here son, it's about time you became a man."

Johnny Favourite

As a man and having been in your sons situation I would ask you not to humiliate him. It won't change anything and may make him feel guilty for doing something that every teenager his age does...

Feelings of shame mixed up with sexual arousal at that age can lead to negative emotions and confusion at a delicate time of development.

Best of luck.

Orion

Irish Examiner doing a special report tomorrow:

http://www.irishexaminer.com/flat.aspx?i=teenspecialreport

moley

At 15 he's already been looking at it for at least the past two years, you've just finally caught him . He's just as embarrassed as you are already and doesn't need a confrontation. It's normal behaviour.

Da Shins Kelly

It's completely normal. I think the only reason you should confront him about it is if he is accessing the porn on a family computer which is being used by everyone, and may lead to a younger child seeing it, or perhaps someone who doesn't want to see it. Another reason for confrontation may be if the porn he is watching is illegal or something.

If you still feel uncomfortable about it being in your home, you could just address it gently, and explain to him that while it is completely normal to be interested in sex, that the family home is maybe not the best place for it, especially if there are younger children around. Remind him that often the images shown in porn are not true to life, and not a real representation of women. Don't embarrass him, however. It is completely natural for him to be interested in this stuff at this age.