Still Waters No Longer Running, Derp.

TwoShedsJackson

We just need Eric Conway of Navan to weigh in now.

robindch

Disgusted in Sandymount writes in:

Rodney Devitt wrote:

Sir, – Surely Joe Kehoe can’t be serious when he suggests that linguistic autinomianism might be perilous (Letters, March 18th), particularly as he had just dexterously deconstructed John Waters’s grandiloquent and pretentious disquisition on numinosity (Opinion, March 16th), and shown up his fallaciously erroneous hypothesis, albeit inadvertently.

Rather, his symbiotic dialectic of the infinite, which juxtaposes such contradictory and opposing conjectures, and which Mr Kehoe apparently finds so attractive, simply fails to work through the logical stages of thesis, antithesis and synthesis in accord with Hegel’s logic. If a critique is to be trenchant and cogent, then let it at least bear a modicum of plausible verisimilitude. – Yours, etc,

RODNEY DEVITT,
Tritonville Lane,
Sandymount,
Dublin 4.

The Black Oil

Time for a JW drinking game.

Pick up an article by Waters. Take a drink when:

JW mentions religion – a sip of beer
JW blames the media, liberals, feminists, etc – one shot
JW blames blogs and social media – two shots
A JW article generates a satirical response – three shots

Galvasean

Looks like a battle of thesaurian proportions on the letters page

lazygal

Galvasean wrote: »

Looks like a battle of thesaurian proportions on the letters page

Maybe we'll finally get some answers on the mysteriousness of reality.

Galvasean

That'd spoil the mystery!

lazygal

Galvasean wrote: »

That'd spoil the mystery!

You're right. Sure if we know what reality is then all we'd be left with is the secularist desert, the perilous state of 'knowing' to which modern Ireland has flown, little thought given to the age old search for truth which is inextricably part of man's search for meaning.

goose2005

lazygal wrote: »

You're right. Sure if we know what reality is then all we'd be left with is the secularist desert, the perilous state of 'knowing' to which modern Ireland has flown, little thought given to the age old search for truth which is inextricably part of man's search for meaning.

If only we'd listened to Pope Benedict's missive on the centrality of hermeneutic experience for modern man, we wouldn't be trapped in the iron cage of secularism neo-atheistic pseudo-Descartian irrationality

Sarky

Indeed. bollocks, eh?

TwoShedsJackson

The Black Oil wrote: »

Time for a JW drinking game.

Pick up an article by Waters. Take a drink when:

JW mentions religion – a sip of beer
JW blames the media, liberals, feminists, etc – one shot
JW blames blogs and social media – two shots
A JW article generates a satirical response – three shots

Fine, except anyone would be dead of alcohol poisoning after four paragraphs.

How would a person go about making a word cloud of his articles?

The Black Oil

Wordle can help on that front, though it's a bit limited.

Bannasidhe

The Black Oil wrote: »

Time for a JW drinking game.

Pick up an article by Waters. Take a drink when:

JW mentions religion – a sip of beer
JW blames the media, liberals, feminists, etc – one shot
JW blames blogs and social media – two shots
A JW article generates a satirical response – three shots

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt this game unless in vomiting distance of an accident and emergency unit with expertise in alcohol poisoning. :eek:

Bannasidhe

Sarky wrote: »

Indeed. bollocks, eh?

Absolutely but we shall gird our ovaries and show testicular fortitude.

Penn

I normally have to drink before I read one of his articles, never mind drinking during it too

Waking-Dreams

Here's a new supplement you can use with future articles. Will make it more fun.

Penn

F*cking brilliant

Hotblack Desiato

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt this game unless in vomiting distance of an accident and emergency unit with expertise in alcohol poisoning. :eek:

This is Ireland... they're all expert in dealing with it

Waking-Dreams

I just grabbed the largest image I could find of Mr. Waters from google images but on reflection it’s somewhat funny that he also happens to be holding a newspaper in that picture, as though it’s his own latest diatribe he has there and is waiting for us all to get stuck in.

The look on his face: “Well, what are you waiting for, assholes? Try making sense of this latest endeavour in sumptuous grandiloquence.”

IT-Guy

Watched the movie Outbreak earlier, there was a great line in it from Kevin Spacey's character I thought appropriate to Mr. Waters' style

Sam Daniels: Alarmingly high fatality. All localized within a three mile radius. Incubation period: short. Appears contained. Alarmingly. Casey, you didn't put "alarmingly."
Casey Schuler: It's an adverb, Sam. It's a lazy tool of a weak mind.

The Black Oil

That bingo thing needs to go viral.

two wheels good

Letters to the Editor includes an amusing parody of discussion over the past days. (At least I hope it's parody!)

letter 2
letter 3

I can't find a link to letter 1 (March 18),which was very convincing.

Newaglish

I wonder does John Waters read those letters and think "what a well constructed and clear piece of writing!", or scratch his head in frustrated bemusement like the rest of us.

keane2097

Newaglish wrote: »

I wonder does John Waters read those letters and think "what a well constructed and clear piece of writing!", or scratch his head in frustrated bemusement like the rest of us.

He probably doesn't write them for a start.

freyners

Reading one of his articles i always get the feeling he just writes a load of illegible crap and then puts it through an online thesaurus a la joey in friends. Im still waiting for it to be signed

waffe waffle waffle atheists grrrrrr waffle waffle waffle

I'm right and you're wrong

John H2O

Nodin

freyners wrote: »

Reading one of his articles i always get the feeling he just writes a load of illegible crap and then puts it through an online thesaurus a la joey in friends.

............

Plus......


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/big-book-of-philosophy-naomi-zack/1112062196

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-Understanding-Catholicism/dp/1592575358/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1363893537&sr=1-1

two wheels good

two wheels good wrote: »

Letters to the Editor includes an amusing parody of discussion over the past days. (At least I hope it's parody!)

letter 2
letter 3

I can't find a link to letter 1 (March 18),which was very convincing.

In the absence of a link to "letter 1" which kicked-off this series of verbiage ... here it is in living monochrome. (Why doesn't it appear inline?)
Mr K deserves some credit, I think.

recedite

two wheels good wrote: »

an amusing parody of discussion over the past days. (At least I hope it's parody!)
letter 2

letter 3

"Resisting all temptations to indulge in verbosity......"
Letter 3 is brilliantly Waters-esque in its dialectic of pomposity with patent nonsense. Plus extra bonus points for the most excellent word "ratiocination."

On the other hand, Letter 2 employs more than "a modicum of plausible verisimilitude" by blinding the reader with the pseudo-scientific word "numinosity".
I'll give both of them 9.5 out of 10

fitz0

Letter 3 is definitely satire. It's great in that it even makes sense in a perverse word torture way.

darjeeling

I'm guessing whoever edits the letters page is not a Waters fan, seeing the free rein given to all this sesquipedalian piss-taking.

martoman

Did you know Waters was very critical of FIFA’s decision in the early 1990s to introduce the back-pass rule into football? Here is how he responded: “In contrast to the sportmanly sagacious ontological completeness of the back-pass concordat, we now, lamentablely, have insubstantial progressives who invoke a positivistic aesthetic appreciation of the materialistic incompleteness of free flowing frolic.”

robindch

^^^ Ow, my eyes hurt.

Newaglish

martoman wrote: »

Did you know Waters was very critical of FIFA’s decision in the early 1990s to introduce the back-pass rule into football? Here is how he responded: “In contrast to the sportmanly sagacious ontological completeness of the back-pass concordat, we now, lamentablely, have insubstantial progressives who invoke a positivistic aesthetic appreciation of the materialistic incompleteness of free flowing frolic.”

I can no longer accurately identify satire...

goose2005

Someone doesn't get the joke

Sir, – One fervently hopes that Peadar de Barra’s vain effort to resist the temptation to indulge in verbosity (March 21st), was made by jamming his tongue firmly in his cheek.
Otherwise, he makes another worthy founding member of the Pseuds’ Corner, which you are so lax in not providing for Messrs de Barra, Kehoe, Waters and their ilk. Only in such a sanctuary could they give full vent to their obfuscating rhetoric. Whatever about the poverty of secularist thought, it rarely lacks clarity. You do not need recourse to a philosophical dictionary to interpret the prose of Richard Dawkins or the late Christopher Hitchens. Verbosity seems to be a favourite refuge of the irrational. Of course anti-secularists will have no truck with rationality; indeed, they now seem to have superseded it with “irrational rationality”. Well, I suppose nonsense by any other name.
Perhaps adherents to the religious standpoint should reflect on the myriads of mysteries, exoteric and otherwise, that once defied rationalisation and are now perfectly understood by all. Science eventually resolves most , if not all, mysteries. There is nothing “ultimately insoluble” about existence either – it just is. Our natural universe provides enough awe, inspiration, beauty and challenge to satisfy any human being. No need to transcend it. – Yours, etc,
FRANK CONROY,
Leenane PO,
Maam, Co Galway.

LittleBook

two wheels good wrote: »

In the absence of a link to "letter 1" which kicked-off this series of verbiage ... here it is in living monochrome. (Why doesn't it appear inline?)
Mr K deserves some credit, I think.

The Poverty of Secularist Thinking - Joe Kehoe

Sulla Felix

For anyone wishing to save a minute or two today, I summarise todays article below.

'The gays are coming. Won't someone think of the children?!'

Dave!

Link? Couldn't see any columns by himself today...

PopePalpatine

The Irish Times misled me with its cover.

Sulla Felix

It's in the print edition today. Is the online a day behind or behind the paywall?

CerebralCortex

John with a full crop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEC9zX3YQfk

Delirium

Sulla Felix wrote: »

It's in the print edition today. Is the online a day behind or behind the paywall?

Just slow to get the article up. Up now for those that like to punish themselves :P

EDIT: doesn't seem to the article you mentioned

Corkfeen

I guessed that he would bring up the spunout article but my god that was a trippy read. He went from mortgage ceilings to threesomes to gay marriage. I'm still finding the reaction to the spunout article to be completely absurd. But John Waters has surpassed all expectations this time round.

freyners

I think he might have overdosed on communion wafers and veritas luxury holy water while writing that.

PopePalpatine

freyners wrote: »

I think he might have overdosed on communion wafers and veritas luxury holy water while writing that.

Is that the new name for methylated spirits?

freyners

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Is that the new name for methylated spirits?

its john waters we're dealing with, one can not put things simply;)

He was bad enough, but the comments are worse -
"Liberal democracy is now coming out in its true colours - a free-for-all - organised chaos orchestrated by the rich and powerful to exploit without limits?"

Bobby42

Jesus wept. Well, there's some brain cells I won't be getting back.

So there's a small article on a youth website giving the pros and cons on threesomes in a non judgmental way and now all of a sudden society as we know it is going to collapse?

Dramatic much?

He really sounds angry and bitter. What's this? Young people having fun? Gay people getting rights? No, no, we can't be having any of that. If I don't get to have fun, no one else does.

Hotblack Desiato

bluewolf wrote: »

He was bad enough, but the comments are worse -
"Liberal democracy is now coming out in its true colours - a free-for-all - organised chaos orchestrated by the rich and powerful to exploit without limits?"

The IT doesn't seem to know what a troll is, they have a guy who posts that multiple times on every story I've read but they leave him be. They used to have someone else go on about how every decision of the Supreme Court since some random date in the 80s/90s was somehow invalid - they seem to have gone, but most of the other conservative/RCC trolls re-reg and spout the same old same old again and again.

I see that comments are now disabled on JW's article, one of the usual RCC trolls must have been badly losing an argument again and started posting abortion pictures :rolleyes: which gets all the comments removed

For a newspaper which is inclined to go off on foamy rants about the perils of the internet, the standard of discussion they permit on their own website is orders of magnitude below boards.

Turtwig

On RTE ONE now.
*shudder*

PopePalpatine

This is why I don't watch that much Irish TV. I just hope that Republic of Telly takes the piss out of him next week.