Making the first move

gargleblaster

Definitely agree, I would normally just call to discuss when to meet for dates or whatever. I much prefer chatting in person. (:pac: you've now reminded me of this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/phone)

nicechick!

newbee22 wrote: »

I just wish I was brave! Been staring at my phone all day waiting for some guy to text, why didn't I get his number:(:(

aww man! nothing worse

ordinary_girl

newbee22 wrote: »

I just wish I was brave! Been staring at my phone all day waiting for some guy to text, why didn't I get his number:(:(

But if you did have his number you'd probably be debating whether you should text him first or not! haha

newbee22

ordinary_girl wrote: »

But if you did have his number you'd probably be debating whether you should text him first or not! haha

So so true!!!!!:o:o:o

Emme

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

You don't get labelled as much as you get older.

I think you do get labelled more as you get older - you're more likely to be considered desperate, particularly if you're over 35 and single. Maybe it's the age group of the guys concerned. I don't normally make the first move but if any of my peers do (we're in the 35+ age bracket) they nearly always get a better reception from younger guys than older guys. Funny that.

The older guys tend to assume that a woman who makes the first move is desperate and a sure thing. Maybe younger guys are more used to women making the first move and are therefore cooler with it?

A lot of the people here who supposedly make the first move (catching the guy's eye, casually getting their attention) are just flirting and making it easier for the guy to make a move. In a lot of those cases I'd say the guy didn't realise the woman made the first move, she was just signalling that she was friendly and open to a guy making a move.

LeeHoffmann

A lot of people just said 'I made the first move' - that could mean anything from giving him the eye to more obvious flirting to approaching the guy and chatting him up to anything else. I got the impression people meant they actively made a move (like chatting him up) rather than just being passive and giving signals of being approachable. Maybe I read it wrong.
Emme, how do you define 'making a move'? What a strange question!

replica

As an older guy I have been thinking why when it came to making the first move when I was younger that I felt sick in the stomach. I panicjked and talked myself into not doing it. I think the answer rests in my confidence issues. I never had the confidence to walk up to a total stranger and ask them to dance, would they like a drink etc etc. I will admit the fear of rejection scared the living daylights out of me. On the other hand if a woman walked up to and asked me out... if I fancied her I would be so delighted. The anxiety would be cured. As for older guys thinking a woman was desperate if she asked him out or made the first move I can honestly say imo that is not the case. I would personally think she is a very brave woman and god bless her ability.

Emme

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

A lot of people just said 'I made the first move' - that could mean anything from giving him the eye to more obvious flirting to approaching the guy and chatting him up to anything else. I got the impression people meant they actively made a move (like chatting him up) rather than just being passive and giving signals of being approachable. Maybe I read it wrong.
Emme, how do you define 'making a move'? What a strange question!

I define making a move as going up to somebody, chatting them up, asking for their number or asking them out.

I wouldn't consider giving the eye and/or smiling as making a move, it's just signalling that you're interested in the other person and are open to them making a move. I'm hopeless at that, anytime I've done it the guy has turned away and looked into his pint or started chatting to his mates.:(

Replica, my experience of older guys would be at dating events. Maybe you don't get the pick of the bunch there but it's hard to know where genuinely single guys late 30s up hang out. I hope you're not as shy now, things should be easier for you anyway, more women to choose from!

Ickle Magoo

I would consider making the first move as just that - making a particular move which is primarily motivated by sexual interest/lust/wish to get to know someone better/whatever before they've made such a move on you...chatting them up is chatting them up. Other than jumping out in front of someone, one kinda follows the other, doesn't it?

Maple

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

A lot of people just said 'I made the first move' - that could mean anything from giving him the eye to more obvious flirting to approaching the guy and chatting him up to anything else. I got the impression people meant they actively made a move (like chatting him up) rather than just being passive and giving signals of being approachable. Maybe I read it wrong.
Emme, how do you define 'making a move'? What a strange question!

I took it as approaching the man in question and initiating the conversation, rather than concentrating hard and trying to send him brain waves across the room to signal your interest.

So from this aspect, yes I have made a move on a guy. On three very memorable occasions, well worth the effort. Some great memories there.

LeeHoffmann

That's how I took it too. In this sense, I still made the first move

gargleblaster

Well I definitely had an active role in mind with the OP, as opposed to the more passive invitation or indicator of interest sort of thing.