Babies and sweets

starlight baby

Hi

Just hoping to get some opinions on something that has come up recently.
My little boy is alost 13 months. He was breastfed til 8 months, I introduced solids at 6. I have always made his food and he's a great eater. He eats all vegetables, fruit eat, fish etc. For treats he will have something like sugar free fromage frais. He has never had sugar or salt or processed food although occasionally I will give him one of the premade organic pouches of food if needs be.
I know at some point he will eat sweets and chocolate but he has not had them yet. I feel he is very young and he is too young to know they exist. Also you can't miss a taste you have never had. I'm confident that nutritionally, I am giving him a good start and I take pride in this.
HOWEVER, recently people have started offering him chocolate, biscuits, sweets etc and I'm amazed at the reaction when I say no. I'm very polite and say thank you but he doesnt eat that. I've laughed along when preople have said he will someday and agreed yes he will. But some people have said, amongst other things, that I am being cruel, that it is 'not right', that I am stunting his development and that I am keeping him in a bubble??? I now feel almost apologetic when I refuse sweets for him.
Since when did wanting the best for your baby become this controversial? On a slightly different note, I found this when I was breastfeeding as well. He was a very big baby and I'm quite small so people kept telling me he wouldnt be getting enough and it wasnt good for him or me. In fact some of the worst offenders were other mums who were bottle feeding. Again I felt almost apologetic when I would answer that I was breastfeeding, I felt as if some mums expected me to be superior about it and so I would play it down when in fact I was very proud and happy about feeding him myself. Each to their own and I never passed judgement on anybody for their choices but it seems not everybody can keep their opinions to themselves.
Anyway, I have veered off on a bit of a rant but I never expected that feeding a baby would prove to be such a divisive issue. Anybody else have any experience of this?

hoodwinked

Honestly you need to raise him whatever way you feel comfortable doing it (while taking health guidelines into consideration i suppose)

but at the end of the day you are making the choices you want your child to follow so set the example you want him to follow.

if you want my opinion on what i would do?

it is my personal opinion that a little bit of everything in moderation is good. so i would allow treats that included ice cream, chocolate, crisps, biscuits but moderation is key obviously. i try to keep healthy foods higher in proportion to junk food and she always chooses things like water over fizzy drinks when offered, but she still would have some 7up and sweets at a party for example.

bulmersgal

I always give her fruit first and then maybe give her orgamix crisps as they organic and baked. If were out clothes shopping she's a nightmare she gets bored in pram as loves to walk she's 15 months. So i usually get her a smoothie as she loves these and put that in her beaker, then if she gets bored later on I give her packet of snacks. She does get chocolate but it would be weekly treat and never much. She loves to beg food off people so if she see's other people with biscuits she scream for one but she does the same if she saw them with apple. So every1 in my house has to eat healthier or hide there treats till after 8.

At the end of the day its up to you when you want to, put a little bit every now and again won't do any harm

Orion

Don't be apologetic at all. They should be apologising to you. We didn't allow sweets or chocolate either for the first couple of years and it's done them no harm. Tell the people who are saying it's not right to shut the hell up and mind their own business. They can raise their children whatever way they want - you choose for your own not them. I had zero tolerance for that type of interference when mine were younger.

As for breastfeeding - your size is irrelevant. Your body knows what size baby you had and is well capable of providing for him. To say otherwise is just ridiculous. Ignore that rubbish too.

January

Do whatever you feel is best and make no apologies for it. You are your childs mother, no one else, so you have to do what you feel is right. Just politely decline and if people push it just tell them it's your decision and he will get sweets when/if you decide to give them to him.

implausible

Hey OP, my wee man is 13 months too and breastfed til he was 7 months. I fed him best and healthiest 'food' from birth and I try my best to cook most things from scratch. In a society where obesity is a big problem and healthy eating is promoted, I find it amazing that people would have a problem with feeding your child healthy food.

My fella has never had chocolate and his biggest treat is a plain biscuit or ice-cream when he visits his granny's. I plan to keep him away from chocolate, crisps and sweets for as long as I can get away with it! If that makes me a horrible parent, then fine!

My mam kept us away from a lot of that type of stuff and I credit her for the good eating habits I have now. She relaxed with the youngest two in our family and one of them is always struggling with her weight, while the other one could eat 4 Mars bars in one go:eek:

Claire de Lune

Hi OP,

There is nothing controversial, it's your baby and you know best!!

Same as you I breastfed my son and have always cooked all his food from scratch and he his a great eater. I am very interested in nutrition and I think it is very important not too expose young children to too much sugar too young as eating habits start to form at a very young age. And 13 months is waaaaay too young for sugary treats in my opinion!!

My son is 21 months old now and people are very surprised that he has never tasted petit filous or had a digestive biscuit. Those are full of sugar and I much prefer making my own yoghurt for him or bake cookies/biscuits with little or no sugar. People might think I mad/overprotective/depriving my child of "good" stuff, but I don't care, I have a good understanding of nutrition and I know this is the best him.

Please ignore those comments, you are not cruel, quite the opposite actually, being cruel would actually to be giving him sweet things too early and get him into the habit of an unhealthy lifestyle!

TommyTippee

OP I think you are terrific.

My wife is breast feeding and plans to continue until 6 months at least. The amount of mothers who've rolled their eyes or recommended the bottle has shocked me.

They HATE for someone to show them up as the lazy, quick-fix parents they are.

Your sweets story doesn't surprise me at all.

I love the reaction. I tell all of them how great my wife is and how "it's about the baby, not us" kind of stuff. It drives them absolutely crazy!

Same with dumping the kid in a creche....that drives them even more mad.

One woman I work with told me she never breastfed her two children because it was "icky" to her. I said that she's lucky she wasn't born 50 years ago because the kids would be dead.

She was raging....but it was all true.

foxy06

Tommy tipee not all parents who bottle feed are lazy quick fix parents.

Op I completely understand where you are coming from. I find its mostly the older generation that think its weird that babies and kids don't eat sweets. My third son wasn't allowed any sweets or chocolate but on his 1st birthday I gave him some of his cake and all of a sudden people thought it was ok to give him sweets! Now though he only gets sweets from grandparents so at least he isn't getting them from home.

January

TommyTippee wrote: »

OP I think you are terrific.

My wife is breast feeding and plans to continue until 6 months at least. The amount of mothers who've rolled their eyes or recommended the bottle has shocked me.

They HATE for someone to show them up as the lazy, quick-fix parents they are.

Your sweets story doesn't surprise me at all.

I love the reaction. I tell all of them how great my wife is and how "it's about the baby, not us" kind of stuff. It drives them absolutely crazy!

Same with dumping the kid in a creche....that drives them even more mad.

One woman I work with told me she never breastfed her two children because it was "icky" to her. I said that she's lucky she wasn't born 50 years ago because the kids would be dead.

She was raging....but it was all true.

We'll have less of those comments, thank you.

Hannibal Smith

starlight baby wrote: »

Hi

Just hoping to get some opinions on something that has come up recently.
My little boy is alost 13 months. He was breastfed til 8 months, I introduced solids at 6. I have always made his food and he's a great eater. He eats all vegetables, fruit eat, fish etc. For treats he will have something like sugar free fromage frais. He has never had sugar or salt or processed food although occasionally I will give him one of the premade organic pouches of food if needs be.
I know at some point he will eat sweets and chocolate but he has not had them yet. I feel he is very young and he is too young to know they exist. Also you can't miss a taste you have never had. I'm confident that nutritionally, I am giving him a good start and I take pride in this.
HOWEVER, recently people have started offering him chocolate, biscuits, sweets etc and I'm amazed at the reaction when I say no. I'm very polite and say thank you but he doesnt eat that. I've laughed along when preople have said he will someday and agreed yes he will. But some people have said, amongst other things, that I am being cruel, that it is 'not right', that I am stunting his development and that I am keeping him in a bubble??? I now feel almost apologetic when I refuse sweets for him.
Since when did wanting the best for your baby become this controversial? On a slightly different note, I found this when I was breastfeeding as well. He was a very big baby and I'm quite small so people kept telling me he wouldnt be getting enough and it wasnt good for him or me. In fact some of the worst offenders were other mums who were bottle feeding. Again I felt almost apologetic when I would answer that I was breastfeeding, I felt as if some mums expected me to be superior about it and so I would play it down when in fact I was very proud and happy about feeding him myself. Each to their own and I never passed judgement on anybody for their choices but it seems not everybody can keep their opinions to themselves.
Anyway, I have veered off on a bit of a rant but I never expected that feeding a baby would prove to be such a divisive issue. Anybody else have any experience of this?

OP, be prepared for a battle, particularly when it comes to grandparents. I made all my son's food, he never had sugar, salt or anything processed up until he was 1 (apart from being bottle fed). Anytime anyone said 'oh but it's only a little bit' I would adamantly refuse.

When he hit 1 I said okay...he can have little treats...as a special TREAT. Since I said that I have had nothing but battles with my parents. And there is a difference in his behaviour. Since he started tasting 'nicer' foods, he's become very picky. Up until 12 months he ate everything I gave him, now vegetables are very touch and go.

I have to keep an eye on my parents and I know they're talking about me behind my back about it, but I don't care. When we go to visit they'd fill hiim up on sweets if they could, I know it's just kindness, there's no malice in it, but it would be better if they sat with him and watch him eat a healthy meal and talk to him as he eats rather than push the treats on him. My mum is diabetic ffs!! :eek:

Rant over

deisemum

I breastfed my boys, the first lad until he was 6 months old and I was returning to work, the second lad until he was 15 months. They're both teenagers now and were toddlers the last time they saw their gp and the only time one of them had an antibiotic was for a dental abscess and the other one had them once or maybe twice.

Breastfeeding rates especially after a couple of months were much lower back then but the amount of negative comments I got especially once I continues breastfeeding past 2 - 3 months was unreal, even my own mother made the comment that my older boy aged 2 would end up gay if he saw me breastfeeding the younger one.

As for sweets and other sugary food my older boy was 15/16 months before he tasted chocolate and I found it so much easier to manage when we lived abroad without family around to be indulging him with treats.

OP you shouldn't have to apologise for making healthy choices for your child. As you say you take pride in how you're feeding your child, is there any chance that maybe that pride is coming across to other people and they feel you're rubbing their noses in your parenting choices? Not saying you are.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that any child that I know whose parents are extremely strict about not allowing their child to have sweets, cake etc are the very children at parties who will spend the whole time at the table gorging on all the forbidden goodies and will not budge from the table to play with their friends and they're often the ones that once they're older will spend their money on sweets, more so than those who were allowed sweets etc as treats.

I think most toddlers irrespective of how healthy their diet is will at some stage go through a fussy stage about what they'll eat, it's often a control thing anyway.

There will always be people who make comments on any aspect of child rearing so do what you feel happiest with.

garden

I have a 1.5 year old and a 10 year old. The baby does not get any chocolate or sweets - jesus the thoughts of giving a baby chocolate i find horrifying. my attitude is yes they will get it but at this stage I have full control in what he eats and he doesn't have a clue what sweets are. I will continue with my no junk policy until I can no longer police what he eats e.g when he gets older and goes to parties etc. I give him the goodies organix crisps as a big treat and he loves all the usual things like strawberries, grapes, etc. I know these contain sugar but I don't have a problem with fruit but will not give him raisins because the thought of them sticking to his teeth gives me nightmares.

I find my father will not give up with "ah sure give him a bit" etc. and would be the type to try and sneak him a bite, he just is that type of person and it really really annoys me.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that any child that I know whose parents are extremely strict about not allowing their child to have sweets, cake etc are the very children at parties who will spend the whole time at the table gorging on all the forbidden goodies and will not budge from the table to play with their friends and they're often the ones that once they're older will spend their money on sweets, more so than those who were allowed sweets etc as treats.

I completely agree with this post -I see my 10 year old and he will gorge on sweets if he get the chance and i do believe it is because I kept him away from sweets when he was younger. I never worried or pushed the message about watching weight for me it was more about the thought of dental decay on teeth but in saying that the amount of obese and heavily overweight children at the school gate is unreal and my DS (10) hasn't a pick on him so i think it is an added advantage of monitoring his junk intake.

I recently read somewhere that 80-90% of junk food consumed by children under 4 is bought by their parents. Its just staggering when you think of it like that.

Swizzles

TommyTippee wrote: »

OP I think you are terrific.

My wife is breast feeding and plans to continue until 6 months at least. The amount of mothers who've rolled their eyes or recommended the bottle has shocked me.

They HATE for someone to show them up as the lazy, quick-fix parents they are.

Your sweets story doesn't surprise me at all.

I love the reaction. I tell all of them how great my wife is and how "it's about the baby, not us" kind of stuff. It drives them absolutely crazy!

Same with dumping the kid in a creche....that drives them even more mad.

One woman I work with told me she never breastfed her two children because it was "icky" to her. I said that she's lucky she wasn't born 50 years ago because the kids would be dead.

She was raging....but it was all true.

Wow :eek: Until you know those quick fixs stories then dont tar everyone with the same brush..

Op its up to you..My 12 month old gets the the odd treat of white milky buttons or snax . Just a few at a time.I believe in moderation.
My little one is quite like Bulmersgals if she saw you with any bit of food shed want it no matter what it is..

caprilicious

Op I think regardless of what way you rear your child people will always have an opinion to the contrary.
If you give a child sweets, people will comment; if you give them none at all they'll also pass comment.

I give my daughter sweet treats occasionally, but will almost always offer a piece of fruit first as she loves her fruit.
Some well meaning people in her life would fill her with sweets and cakes all day long & I do get some reproachful looks when I say no.

It used to bother me in the beginning but I let it go over my head now!
Everything in moderation I completely agree with. I also agree with the point that the kids who abstain entirely can be the one's to gorge on the treats when they are offered them.
I'm one of those kids grown up

As a kid I couldn't have chocolate, any sweets containing E no's/colourings (in the 80's/90's that was a lot :rolleyes:) and also couldn't have any coloured soft drinks coke/fanta etc due to severe asthma allergies.
In my teens I grew out of the allergies & by God do I make up for it now with the chocolate!
I have a ridiculously sweet tooth & find it hard to be disciplined with it.
I was allowed crisps in moderation as a child & could completely take or leave them now.

I hope I'll be able to find some middle ground with my child so she isn't a chocolate monster like her mother

starlight baby

Thanks everybody for all your thoughts. I know he will get 'treats' at some stage but I'm just not willing to put that stuff into his little system just yet. Nice to see I'm not the only one.

Somebody asked if my pride in feeding him healthily was coming across to other people. Maybe it does, but that's pride, not smugness, and I think there's a difference

implausible

starlight baby wrote: »

Thanks everybody for all your thoughts. I know he will get 'treats' at some stage but I'm just not willing to put that stuff into his little system just yet. Nice to see I'm not the only one.

Somebody asked if my pride in feeding him healthily was coming across to other people. Maybe it does, but that's pride, not smugness, and I think there's a difference

It's gas isn't it? When it comes to parenting, there are things that you do and are proud of, but you almost have to be apologetic about them around other people, for fear of making others feel guilty:rolleyes:

My jaw nearly dropped yesterday when I witnessed a girl I know buying her 2 year old chewing gum! When I asked (trying not to sound shocked) was it actually gum, she said it was, but it was ok because she spits it out everywhere:eek: