Accidental Stalker Etiquette

exiledelbows

Was walking home from the night bus late last night, and by the time I reached my street I realised I'd been accidentally following this young woman from the bus stop (purely by the accident that we live on the same street and got the same night bus)

She realised it too, and i think she got a bit freaked out as she spent most of the rest of the walk frantically looking over her shoulder in an apparent attempt to memorise my face for the Feds the next morning.

I really didn't think I'm that scary, but i'll admit I'm a pretty big guy which probably didn't help, but I'm not a sex pest and was just walking home.

So I was just wondering, what does a guy do in this situation?? I figured shouting 'Oi love, calm down, I'm not a sex pest' wouldn't have gone down well, so all I could think of doing in my tipsy state was to take my keys out and kind of jangle them in my hand. I figured this would have the dual purpose of (a) showing I live nearby and (b) that i was keeping my distance and not sneaking up on her or anything

I don't think this helped, because it probably made me sound like some sort of evil prison guard, so people of AH, what should I have done and what should law-abiding men like me do in future??

*This happened in London by the way

strokemyclover

"Sex pest" :D:D

Where To

Ask her out ffs:D

Needler

Women are obsessed with stalkers these days so I'd just continue as normal. If she said anything to me I would just reply with 'wtf are you on about missus?'

OwenM

slow down to put some more distance between you, but don't drop out of sight - that would be really creepy....

Cill Dara Abu

Prevert!

Tonyandthewhale

You should have followed through...

Now she probably things you're a pussy who chickens out of a good ole stalkering session.

Aoifey!

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Prevert!

Is that what comes before a pervert?

Red Hand

You should have jogged ahead of her and then, she would be the one stalking you.

Haha, the tables have turned!

whydoibother?

Just stop in your tracks and play with your phone for a minute. Look like you're responding to a text, busy in your own world and not giving two hoots about her.

Cill Dara Abu

Aoifey! wrote: »

Is that what comes before a pervert?

Twas a joke!

Never mind.....:rolleyes:

exiledelbows

Tonyandthewhale wrote: »

You should have followed through...

Now she probably things you're a pussy who chickens out of a good ole stalkering session.

Should probably have mentioned I'm in a relationship.

One other thing I should mention. At the moment I realised I'd been following her, I had been drunkenly talking to myself (don't even pretend you don't do it :rolleyes:) and I'm pretty sure the last audible word I said was 'murdered'.

That probably didn't help in hindsight.

exiledelbows

whydoibother? wrote: »

Just stop in your tracks and play with your phone for a minute. Look like you're responding to a text, busy in your own world and not giving two hoots about her.

I considered that, but in a way that could look more suspicious, but it would have put more distance between us so probably should have done that

orourkeda

Paranoid cant

Son Of A Vidic

Larry is that you?.........Getting a bit old are ya?

stevejr

Reminds me of that Only fools and horses episode where Del winds Rodney up cause mad Blossom claims she felt her up:pac:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ8ddzfoTyE

Enjoy!

whydoibother?

exiledelbows wrote: »

I considered that, but in a way that could look more suspicious, but it would have put more distance between us so probably should have done that

I also thought another option would be to cross the road and pass her out so you're ahead. (I first thought just pass her out, but on her side that could scare the hell out of her as you rapidly approach!:D). I think on reflection the texting is your best bet.

Mickeroo

Just shout "Hey! HEY! I'M NOT STALKING YOU OK?"

Latchy

I tend to walk fast and it's slightly amusing sometimes to see the old ladys in front twitch their heads back , expecting to be jumped . Sorry old ladys

As for walking at night , ,the good news is I tend to slow down, unless I think their is somebody dodgy behind me :mad:

efb

put your penis back in your trousers?

tolosenc

Jog up to her, grab her by the shoulders. Once you've done this, start shaking her violently and shouting at her to calm down, that you're not stalking her, and that you just happen to live on the same street. Then jog on.

That or a cheeky piss in a nearby bush.

efb

oh yeah its AH!

BLAST HER WITH PISS!

jill_valentine

I've done this a few times, because I tend to whack my headphones on and zone out of public space norms altogether. And depending on what song I'm listening to, I can get really into it and make a load of really weird expressions.

I do the old "Suddenly checking phone text" thing if I notice it.

My flatmate - "Cross the street, and then jog past them. Once you "overtake", you're in the clear, although there's a risk they'll think you're chasing them early on".

I think that's horrible advice, but I felt it should be contributed.

Taco Corp

I bet she's secretly delighted.. "OMG!! I've got a stalker!! "

Women love stalkers, you're in there

Xlami

You should have gotten her contact details so you can share a taxi next time.

--LOS--

nothing

who the hell cares, you can't be worrying about somebody worrying about something that is pure coincidental.

hate it when you're walking nearly behind someone on the street or at the same pace as them, kinda nearly beside them for a bit and they act freaked out, jeezuz this is just the pace I want to walk at!

Ouchette

You cross over to the other side of the road so you're not walking right up behind her.

Latchy

--LOS-- wrote: »

nothing

who the hell cares, you can't be worrying about somebody worrying about something that is pure coincidental.

hate it when you're walking nearly behind someone on the street or at the same pace as them, kinda nearly beside them for a bit and they act freaked out, jeezuz this is just the pace I want to walk at!

Exactly ,if I want to walk fast at my own pace and it's freaks somebody out because of their social phobia or paranoia well tough ? :mad:

/puts lock on front door ...double checks windows ....slips bibi gun under pillow

TheUsual

"Stalking" is only 1 letter away from "Talking".


See what I did there.

Latchy

TheUsual wrote: »

"Stalking" is only 1 letter away from "Talking".


See what I did there.

From my room yes ...I saw what you did there .

Daemos

Happened me too. Girl was seriously paranoid. On a street where there was only one footpath and no doors I could possibly have been going to, she kept looking back at me. It wasn't even a long or hidden street, maybe 100ft long and right off the main road. Where did she expect me to go, through a wall?