I'm over him, but should I tell?

LegacyUser

I'm in a long-term relationship which up until recently was going very well. We hit a bit of a rough patch a few months ago, however. During that time a friend of mine told me he had a thing for me, and I had a thing for him too. I gave some signals to this guy, but nothing major - he knew I was in a relationship, and I don't think he would have said anything had I not made it clear I was interested. I was tempted, but nothing happened (and nothing would EVER have happened while I was still in a relationship). After thinking about it, I decided that I needed to give my relationship with my BF another chance, so for his sake I cut contact with this guy. In hindsight, that was the right thing to do.

Fast forward a few months, and things between me and my BF are much better. There's no danger of us splitting. However, I am left with a problem. Do I tell this guy - who I was friends with and can't avoid entirely for various reasons - that nothing is going to happen, or do I pretend nothing happened? On the one hand, I'm worried about building false hopes and the potential for awkwardness, but on the other hand, I was fairly non-committal with him before, even if I didn't reject him 100%. Do I owe him anything, or is it not worth it?

I'm also worried about how he might react. I'm probably worrying too much about this, but what if he gets really upset when I tell him? What if he begs? I could be opening the door to a world of awkwardness. My boyfriend doesn't know about this and at this point I don't think there's any reason to tell him, but I worry that he might find out now and misunderstand things. I don't want to lose what I have because of a stupid mistake.

What should I do?

Moomoo1

just mention to him you are back with your BF?

Kevin Duffy

How did you manage to "cut contact with this guy", but still not be able to avoid him "for various reasons"? Are you in contact or not? It's one thing to clarify a stance to someone you are in touch with, quite another to seek someone out to tell them the answer to a question they may not be asking.

jon1981

how about stop being a drama queen for a start?

your story doesn't hang together for me, you said you could contact, then fast forward a few months things are better, sooooo why do you care if this guy is hung up on you or not ( you must know that he is if you're asking what to do)?

Is he pursuing you? (in which case contact has not be cut) if so, a simple listen you're a friend but either accept that's all it will ever be or f**k off? should that not suffice?

To me this shouldn't be an issue!

Miss Fluff

goingunreg wrote: »

I'm also worried about how he might react. I'm probably worrying too much about this, but what if he gets really upset when I tell him? What if he begs?

What's with all the drama? :rolleyes: You're making a mountain out of a molehill. I'm sure this guy will see that you're happy with your BF and leave it at that. Unless he is actively pursuing you, continuously calling you and making a nuisance of himself then there's no need to even bring it up. There was a mild flirtation, you're happy with your BF, there really is no issue here tbh.

I am a friend

Yeah why do you need to tell him? Surely months of no contact will have given him the message.. Forget about it.