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Lone father in need of help and advice
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22-07-2011 7:26pm#1
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I am a little confused with this story
The HSE do not take children out of a family home without good reason.
Why were they taken from you and put into fostercare?
Exactly. Have there been Case Conferences / Child in Care Reviews further to your children's Care Plans? What was the outcome? What are the HSE's concerns with regards to your parenting? Has rehabilitation to your care been ruled out? If it has, why? If it has not have you complied with all the tasks required to return the children to your care? how long have your children been in care? (i ask this because children need routine and a sence of belonging and cant 'wait' indefinately for neglectful parents to get their act together).
I assume the Interim Care Orders were made at District Court level. If you remain unhappy why have you not appealed the orders to the Circuit Court? Something doesnt add up here OP.0 -
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The children were in respite in accordance with the HSE last year beginning of august, to give us some rest apparently.
That time was used by my ex to leave the house and go to a refugee center and state there that i was hitting the children, which was and is not true what so ever.
Due to these allegations, the children were not returned by the respite carers to me or to the mother.
The mother left Ireland beginning of October with the youngest Child, which I'm not even sure if it is mine or not.
Since then I have been fighting these allegations against the HSE in court.
They have nothing to show that these allegations made by the mother of the 2 are true, but statet clearly, that the mother will never get them back, which of cause I have written proof of.
Does that clarify your confusion?
No sorry it doesnt
So your saying the HSE have taken your kids into care cos you and your wife need a break
I still claim that the HSE need some very strong proof that the kids are better off in care then with the family.
This country does not have enougfh foster place already with out taking kids into care so parents can get some time for them selfs 0 -
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No sorry it doesnt
So your saying the HSE have taken your kids into care cos you and your wife need a break
I still claim that the HSE need some very strong proof that the kids are better off in care then with the family.
This country does not have enougfh foster place already with out taking kids into care so parents can get some time for them selfs
You have misunderstood something a little bit, the children were in respite with once a month usually on one weekend from spring 2009 to get them to learn english as there are not nativ speakers. It was agreed between the HSE and myself. I have had contact with the HSE before the children came to Ireland in 2008, because there were placed in statecare in germany, in other words a carehome. The reason for this was, why they were in a care home in germany, was that the mother had slapped them so hard, that my little doughter was put in hospital for observation for 3 day's in 2007.
The state authority told me this, after they've been taken away over there.
That's on the backround.
There have been case conferences, more then enough, only to state that I had to go for 'Anger Managment Course', although they know, that nothing is wrong with me and the children alway's saying this. Written proof of this is also there from the HSE. But there acting soleily on Section 20 of the Childcare Act 1991. You aware what that means for an unmarried father in this country, despite the court order from Germany in September 2008.
No, none of the children have special needs. Only my little one is a littel behind, as she was born very premature, 25th week, but she's bright and healthy without any big hickup's.
The children are also going to playtherapy once a week here, due to the fact that they have been through too much in there short live already. The only constant figure in this is me, who alway's stood up for them and thought for them.
Going a litllte bit futher back, in 2005 the mother was already stripped off guardianship by the german court and only got joint custody back after compleating a therapy aprooved by the court. Written evidence of this is in place.
[QUOTE=
Big bad social workers cant win really. The children are subject to Interim Care Orders currently - this translates to the court having accepted, on the balance of evidence provided by SW's, that they would be subject to abuse/neglect were they to remain with their parents.
Childrens First is aimed at all persons who work with or come into contact with children be they members of the public, voluntary or statutory services. One of the reasons why it has recently and rightly been relaunched is that many potential referrers choose to ignore the guidelines. Yes, social workers have made mistakes but as a profession are bashed consistantly without consideration towards multidisciplinary responsibility and accountability.
Child Protection is everybody's business.
Sorry for dragging the thread off topic. OP you are welcome to pm me.[/QUOTE]
Your welcome, it's just not easy to write everything so it can be easely understood.
The Socialworkers alone are up to their necks in work and I can understand, when mistakes are happening, but breaking court orders, where it was explicitly said to increase access at a certain date and it did not happen is totally unexaptable.
They want to make a plan for re-unification in November, although they've had plenty of time so far and wasted a lot of work. Same also what my therapist said to me.
Every time I asked them to increase access in the past I was declined totally. Only when my threapist and my solicitor pounded them constanly, the have agreed a month ago to increase access.
They, from my piont of few, only do what the mother of the children want's, leave the children in care full time with no access from me what so ever., That's the feeling I get the whole time and nothing will change that.0 -
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I think the problem here is that your written english while its very good it may be a little difficult to type such a complex case.
After reading your last post from it I get that your children are in care to improve their english.
i really think the best thing to do is keep fighting and you will get there.
At the end of the day the best interest of the kids is foremost.
wishing you the best of luck
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OP I'm trying to get this straight in my head so please excuse me if I get it wrong (and feel free to correct any errors)
You are German as are the children and their mother
You are not married to the children's mother
There are 3 children from your relationship 2 are in Ireland the 3rd (youngest) is now in Germany with your ex
In Germany in 2008 the courts gave you sole guardian to the eldest 2 as a result of an emergency order in Germany in 2007 which took the children into care after their mother hit them
Sometime in 2008 the children & their mother moved to Ireland as you were already living here and she had to move here to comply with access arrangements set down by the German court
Before their arrival in Ireland you made contact with the HSE because the children were in a care home in Germany and they were notified by you of their arrival to Ireland presumably so that the HSE could keep an eye on them when they got here
Can you clarify why, if you had custody awarded to you in Germany, why were the children in a care home in Germany and not in your care? Or was it simply because you weren't living in Germany at the time and it was unsafe to leave them living with their mother??
When in Ireland a 3rd child was born, this 3rd child is not subject to any court proceedings in Germany
In 2009, the HSE "Forced you" to give up your job to mind the children & their mother as the school had made complaints? (Can you clarify what kind of complaints you are talking about here and what you mean by the HSE forcing you to give up work)
From Spring of 2009 to August 2010 the children were in respite care once a month at weekends to assist them in learning English
You agreed to this respite with the HSE
In August 2010 the HSE took the children into care to give you respite (apparently to assist the children in learning English)
I must say I have NEVER heard of this happening and my daughter goes to school with lots of kids who don't speak English as a first language some of them have SNA's for that reason
In October 2010 the children's mother returned to Germany with the 3rd child
(whom you state you are not sure of paternity)
Before she left she alledged that you had been hitting the children
Because of these allegations the HSE is refusing to return the children to your care
You were advised to take Anger Management courses? Can you tell us who advised you to do this?
Can you clarify what court order you think the Social Workers are breaking??The Socialworkers alone are up to their necks in work and I can understand, when mistakes are happening, but breaking court orders, where it was explicitly said to increase access at a certain date and it did not happen is totally unexaptable
Not being smart but is your therapy related to your ability to raise the children?They want to make a plan for re-unification in November, although they've had plenty of time so far and wasted a lot of work. Same also what my therapist said to me.
And if the HSE are planning to re-unite you with the children in November will this be permanent i.e. are they giving you back full custody in November?
What kind of access do you have at the moment? Is it supervised?Every time I asked them to increase access in the past I was declined totally. Only when my threapist and my solicitor pounded them constanly, the have agreed a month ago to increase access.
I cannot believe that the social workers & the HSE are "only doing what the mother wants" given thatThey, from my piont of few, only do what the mother of the children want's, leave the children in care full time with no access from me what so ever., That's the feeling I get the whole time and nothing will change that.
a) The mother isn't even in Ireland any more
b) The Courts in Germany have shown her to be an unfit mother
c) You have sole custody not the children's mother
There is something going on here that you haven't told us because the case as stated does not make sense
My advice for what it is worth is as follows:
A)Get a court recognised translator and get all the documentation from Germany translated into English
Try and get a job if you don't have one and make arrangements with regard to childcare if you get the kids back, if you want full custody you have to show that you are capable of minding the kids both financially & practically
C) Apply for guardianship in Ireland if you can
D) Get a solicitor
Family law in Ireland is designed to protect the child
The aim of social workers & the HSE will always aim to keep the family unit intact where ever there is no danger to the children
If they are keeping your children away from you they must feel that you are a danger to them in some way0 -
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Can you clarify why, if you had custody awarded to you in Germany, why were the children in a care home in Germany and not in your care? Or was it simply because you weren't living in Germany at the time and it was unsafe to leave them living with their mother??
As I was already living in Ireland, the court decided that it was unsafe to leave them with their mother resulting that they have been moved to a care home.
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Can you clarify what kind of complaints you are talking about here and what you mean by the HSE forcing you to give up work.
Complaint were coming from other parents towards the principle of the school, how the mother of my children was treating them, when she picked them up and brought them to school. Further more I had not just to care for the children, also for the mother. It may sound strange, but it is true and the HSE has written that previouly too in there reports, which of cause I hold here in the house.
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I must say I have NEVER heard of this happening and my daughter goes to school with lots of kids who don't speak English as a first language some of them have SNA's for that reason
You have misunderstood something compleately, unfortunately.
The children only joined school fully in 2009 september, before they were in pre-school. My big one jumped strait into senior infants, my little one into junior infants.
They are doing more then well in school and the principle as well as the teachers are saying the academically the sky is the limit for booth of them.
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Can you clarify what court order you think the Social Workers are breaking??
Surly can. It was agreed in court in march, that from the first weekend in may, I should have them both during daytime with no overnight stay clarified in the interim order made that day.
The HSE only gave me 4 hours for access on a separated level, every fortnight per child, nothing more, supervised, but they slowly dropped the supervision out of it.
Access at the moment since one month is both together every wednesday, unsupervised, every fortnight on a separeted basis for 6 hours on saturday's, plus 3 so called family day's, supervised, 2 of them pased already, one is to come at the end of August.
I have requested access on the weekends compleately since September last year, nothing has been done from the HSE towards that.
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You were advised to take Anger Management courses? Can you tell us who advised you to do this?
The HSE only.
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A)Get a court recognised translator and get all the documentation from Germany translated into English Try and get a job if you don't have one and make arrangements with regard to childcare if you get the kids back, if you want full custody you have to show that you are capable of minding the kids both financially & practically
C) Apply for guardianship in Ireland if you can
D) Get a solicitor
A:) The Translation of all previous documents were done by the HSE socialworkers.
B:) I have secured a fulltime job 2 weeks after the mother left the house with my old company i was forced to leave in feb 2009 by the HSE. To Answer the question you may have regarding this, it was also the HSE who stated at the time, that the children were to beromoved from home, as the mother was absolutely declared unfit to care for them when I was not there.
C:) How would I do that easely and efficently?
) Already have one. Thanks. -:)
Her statement is as follows: First get the children back from the HSE, then apply for sole custody.
As I stated before, the HSE is only complying to what the mother said to them when she left.
They still believe that I was not caring for them at all, which is not true. Why are the children stating in all the reports the HSE has produced sofar, that they want to come back to me???? It does not add up neither does it make sence to me.0 -
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The HSE obviously have concerned about your children spending time with you if they have said you have to go for anger mangement.
The HSE told you to go nothing to do with your wife.
This whole story does not add up at all tbh.
These are the answers of a typical Socialworker, only thinking about themselfs and not what the children need, despite what the children want.
That's the reason I dont trust those peole, for my taste, these are self-made professionals who don't have a clue about european law as stated in the Den Hague Convention.
Welcome to the middle ages...
You have got to be joking me. so now you are blaming our social workers
From why I see the HSE see your children at risk and are doing the best for your children.
You have 2 children (maybe 3) one needed to spend time in a hospital in germany because of abuse. Custody was given to you but they end up in care in Ireland Yet the person who caused the abuse returns to germany with one child
Ok im going to wish you well and leave this thread because i enjoy the 'Parents threads' and am not going to get a ban for saying something i regret.0 -
You have got to be joking me. so now you are blaming our social workers
From why I see the HSE see your children at risk and are doing the best for your children.
You have 2 children (maybe 3) one needed to spend time in a hospital in germany because of abuse. Custody was given to you but they end up in care in Ireland Yet the person who caused the abuse returns to germany with one child
Ok im going to wish you well and leave this thread because i enjoy the 'Parents threads' and am not going to get a ban for saying something i regret.
I couldnt disagree with you more. I am a male lone parent for the last 11 years. 11 years ago after my ex-wife threw our three children out on the street she accused me of child abuse. I have put up with all sorts of rubbish from social workers that female lone parents dont have to put up with and Im not alone. John Walters, Bob Geldoff and others have highlighted the abuse male lone parents suffer from both the HSE and the Irish court system. Based on that experience alone I completely disagree with that you have just said.
OP please trust me, record every conversation you have with social workers and tell them BEFOREHAND that you are recording the conversation for your defence. Once they think they will be held accountable in court for their actions you will find their attitude towards you will change. I requested a section 20 report be prepared some time ago, the judge in the case agreed and granted an interim access order while it was been prepared. He said that the access was only to take place if the children wanted it which they didnt. The HSE got documentation from the courts telling them to conduct the section 20 and telling them that an interim access order was in place but it did not mention that it was at the childrens discretion. One of the HSE employees insisted that the children had no choice the access. She was that forceful that she reduced two of my children to tears. I told her that the judge said it was up to the children, she refused to believe me and refused to verfiy the conditions of the court order with the courts. If that isnt prejudice then I dont know what is. My son slit his wrists rather that put up with access that he did not want. Luckily no serious damage was done.
cutymonalisa and Justask really seem to be either trolls or people that have never been on the receiving end of the HSE. I have been on the receiving end right up to the point that I said I was going to sue for the distress the HSE caused my children. Since then I have not had to attend so much as one interview to discuss my children, these 'interviews' which were not sanctioned by the courts I might add, never did so much as one thing to help my children. If the HSE in Ireland did anything to protect children then how on earth were so many children abused while in care? Im afraid the courts will not listen to you OP unless you have evidence so record all conversations with HSE employees.
It really seems to me that the HSE do not follow their own procedures (see previous post for link to their procedures) so the next time they mess up you have to bring it up in court. You have to present evidence to the judge. Once you have evidence to support your claim then the courts cannot refuse to return your children. Are all the social workers you deal with female or are any male?0 -
I couldnt disagree with you more. I am a male lone parent for the last 11 years. 11 years ago after my ex-wife threw our three children out on the street she accused me of child abuse. I have put up with all sorts of rubbish from social workers that female lone parents dont have to put up with and Im not alone. John Walters, Bob Geldoff and others have highlighted the abuse male lone parents suffer from both the HSE and the Irish court system. Based on that experience alone I completely disagree with that you have just said.
OP please trust me, record every conversation you have with social workers and tell them BEFOREHAND that you are recording the conversation for your defence. Once they think they will be held accountable in court for their actions you will find their attitude towards you will change. I requested a section 20 report be prepared some time ago, the judge in the case agreed and granted an interim access order while it was been prepared. He said that the access was only to take place if the children wanted it which they didnt. The HSE got documentation from the courts telling them to conduct the section 20 and telling them that an interim access order was in place but it did not mention that it was at the childrens discretion. One of the HSE employees insisted that the children had no choice the access. She was that forceful that she reduced two of my children to tears. I told her that the judge said it was up to the children, she refused to believe me and refused to verfiy the conditions of the court order with the courts. If that isnt prejudice then I dont know what is. My son slit his wrists rather that put up with access that he did not want. Luckily no serious damage was done.
cutymonalisa and Justask really seem to be either trolls or people that have never been on the receiving end of the HSE. I have been on the receiving end right up to the point that I said I was going to sue for the distress the HSE caused my children. Since then I have not had to attend so much as one interview to discuss my children, these 'interviews' which were not sanctioned by the courts I might add, never did so much as one thing to help my children. If the HSE in Ireland did anything to protect children then how on earth were so many children abused while in care? Im afraid the courts will not listen to you OP unless you have evidence so record all conversations with HSE employees.
It really seems to me that the HSE do not follow their own procedures (see previous post for link to their procedures) so the next time they mess up you have to bring it up in court. You have to present evidence to the judge. Once you have evidence to support your claim then the courts cannot refuse to return your children. Are all the social workers you deal with female or are any male?
i can assure you i am not a troll.
And yes you are right i've never had a social worker or the HSE knock on my door with concerns over my child 0 -
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i can assure you i am not a troll.
And yes you are right i've never had a social worker or the HSE knock on my door with concerns over my child
Up to a few weeks ago I had them knocking on my door three to four times a week. Only a male lone parent can understand what a male lone parent has to go through in Ireland when an ex make an untrue accusation. I have no trouble what so ever understanding what life the OP is living by his first post. Im glad that you Justask have no idea what we are talking about as it means you never had to live through it but it is real, very real.
Once a social worker sees a man raising kids on his own she (I say she as in 11 years of dealing with them I've only meet one male social worker out of about 20) seems to form the opinion that the father cannot possibly be a better parent than the mother. Im afraid sometimes we are the better parent but that doesnt seem to matter to social workers. As I said earlier most social workers are new to the job as it has a massive burn out rate and most are young women that dont even have kids themselves. There is a prejudice in Ireland that women are better parents and thats probably why an unmarried father do not have equal rights to an unmarried mothers. That prejudice is rampant in Ireland and this means we fathers have to prove we are innocent rather than the accusor prove we are guilty, this is done in the name of protecting the child.
In the OP's case his ex made an accusation. As he is German and living in Ireland I assume his family is German and living in Germany. If this is the case then the social workers will take his children of him and put them into care if the mother makes the accusation of child abuse. The person making the accusation is immune to prosecution in Ireland as the link I provided details by the way but it makes little difference if the mother has returned to Germany. As he has no family here the kids go into care.
In an earlier post I detailed how social workers do not obey the courts so I have little trouble believing what the OP is saying. Not everyone that has social workers knocking on their doors deserves to have social workers knocking on their door. It does sometimes happen because a mentally ill woman makes an untrue accusation.0
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