Bull**** Careers

Naikon

The game is well defined. List one nonsense career per post and justify the choice with a couple of sentances or so. I will start:

Lifecoaching: What is this? How can you expect to pay the bills by "directing" people about their mostly non definable arbitrary and or subjective "goals/choices" in life? Sure, you can try to prepare for the future and all that, but I don't think it's economically justified to start an actual career from advice normally shared between your mates down at the local pisshouse.

Next poster.

sunflower27

I got chatting to a guy once in a pub in Dublin that said he was a Life Coach. Aaaahhhh shaddddduuuup.:rolleyes:

mawk

feng shui consultant.

uuuuugh. they claim its a "science" if you cant express it in numbers, its just an opinion.

Ghost Buster

Lecturer in English:
A mate of mine back in the early 90's 'read' English in Trinity. This guy was the most frighteningly intelligent person I have ever met. he could read Ulysses, War and Peace and several other assorted weighty tomes in a day and then write a thesis or two on them before heading into the college library for some real study.
He graduated somewhere near the top of his class. What is he qualified to do?


Lecture in English.
Self replicating is the only big word I know.:rolleyes:





Ps He is now a librarian in Australia

WesternNight

Homeopathy. Surely doesn't need to be justified.

orourkeda

Economist - Glorified guessworker

Cypher_sounds

A Matador.

Lux23

Weight Watcher class leaders calling themselves nutrition lecturers.

El_Drago

Philosopher.It's a past-time,not a career.

orourkeda

Rugby Player

RichieC

orourkeda wrote: »

Economist - Glorified guessworker

it's an ideology, not a science. don't let them fool you.

orourkeda

A mortgage advisor

Where To

veterinary surgeon


they see a lot of bull****

pragmatic1

El_Drago wrote: »

Philosopher.It's a past-time,not a career.

I dont want to be that person but whats a "past-time".

El_Drago

This ought to ruffle a few feathers but what the hell.Anything that requires an arts degree:p

oppenheimer1

In before priests.

7sr2z3fely84g5

One that the celebs have-

Style/lifestyle guru
Publicist

ballsymchugh

town/county coucillor

Naikon

Food Critic: Mostly moaning about having to eat food prepared by other people for a fee.

7sr2z3fely84g5

Naikon wrote: »

Food Critic: Mostly moaning about having to eat food prepared by other people for a fee.

Any sort of critic,usually found "critically acclaimed" albums aload of bollox.

mikemac

Animal related careers like Animal psychologist or Dog groomer
Yes, these shrinks exist. Often mentioned over in Animal & Pet forum

As for dog grooming, gone are the days when you throw the madra into the nearest lake, he has a swim and comes out groomed.

charlemont

Gangster, Life expectancy is very short and you cant trust the people you work with.:pac:

Myrddin

A Politician. Basically a 1st class ticket on the gravy train.

orourkeda

charlemont wrote: »

Gangster, Life expectancy is very short and you cant trust the people you work with.:pac:

You dont need to become a criminal for that to happen

dotsman

El_Drago wrote: »

This ought to ruffle a few feathers but what the hell.Anything that requires an arts degree:p

em, I'm not aware of any job that "requires" an arts degree.

orourkeda

EnterNow wrote: »

A Politician. Basically a 1st class ticket on the gravy train.

There it is.

Hail 2 Da Thief

chiropractor = load of nonesense!

saywhatyousee

H.R Managers

kfallon

Personal Shopper

I think I can buy my own stuff thanks especially that nobody is more qualified than me to know what I do and don't like :rolleyes:

El_Drago

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I dont want to be that person but whats a "past-time".

Pondering about the existence of god, "I think therefore I am" and all of other philosophical issues in your free time

chalkie 501

Male porn star
imagine having to spend your working week shagging various women:eek::eek:

Naikon

Vance Clumsy Whimper wrote: »

Any sort of critic,usually found "critically acclaimed" albums aload of bollox.

Don't forget the star emblazoned seal:pac: If something is good, it will stand on it's own merit, not some tosh written by a critic.

mikemac

Human Resources

The home of failed middle managers.
Key skills are listening and acting like you care about employees while shafting them to protect the company

Myrddin

orourkeda wrote: »

There it is.

Well done.

Naikon

El_Drago wrote: »

Pondering about the existence of god, "I think therefore I am" and all of other philosophical issues in your free time

I literally get a tingle at the back of my spine when I think about all the useless pseudo academic "research" written about these issues. Put those research grants into curing cancer ffs. Academic circle jerkery at it's finest.

KeithAFC

Psychics?

amacca

soon this thread will cover most human occupations known and it will be clear that for the most part our species are just a bunch of bull**** artists who occasionally get lucky pursuing their particular line of bull****


perhaps bull**** is what sets us apart from all the other species?

btw...anyone made a career out of contributing to online forums yet?

El_Drago

Professional gamer

Gummy Panda

chalkie 501 wrote: »

Male porn star
imagine having to spend your working week shagging various women:eek::eek:

Most of them have to do gay porn to pay the bills so I guess its a pain in the ass

Naikon

amacca wrote: »

btw...anyone made a career out of contributing to online forums yet?

Until I put an advert at the bottom of my sig, No. A secondary source of income, perhaps:p

ballsymchugh

art critic. there was some lad on channel 4 talking about lucien freud a few days ago, and on how that when he looked at one of his self portraits, it brought you into the psychology of freud's mind.
complete load of cack. freud just didn't have a camera phone to take a photo of himself.

Da Shins Kelly

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Lecturer in English

I don't know how that could be considered a "bullsh*t career". A lot of lecturers in English (or in most subjects) are writers who lecture. They write extensively on subjects you or I wouldn't know the first thing about while also lecturing on them. Your friend is just one example of someone who didn't become a lecturer, but it doesn't mean that the whole career is bullsh*t because of that. Like you say, most of the people who reach the highest echelons of education are exceedingly intelligent people, and if they're making money and enjoy doing something in their area of expertise, then I don't see how that could be considered bullsh*t. A lot of people would love to be able to make a living off of something they love, there are plenty of artists, musicians, actors, writers, etc. who will never make a living from those areas. Making money from the arts is difficult enough for most people, so I say fair play to anyone who manages it.

Anyway, if there were no English lecturers, nobody would study English, and that would be a real shame.

orourkeda

EnterNow wrote: »

Well done.

Thanks.

KeithAFC

Faith healers.

Sonics2k

El_Drago wrote: »

Professional gamer

I resent that, playing games and getting paid is hard













:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Storminateacup

Footballers

Naikon

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

I don't know how that could be considered a "bullsh*t career". A lot of lecturers in English (or in most subjects) are writers who lecture. They write extensively on subjects you or I wouldn't know the first thing about while also lecturing on them. Your friend is just one example of someone who didn't become a lecturer, but it doesn't mean that the whole career is bullsh*t because of that. Like you say, most of the people who reach the highest echelons of education are exceedingly intelligent people, and if they're making money and enjoy doing something in their area of expertise, then I don't see how that could be considered bullsh*t. A lot of people would love to be able to make a living off of something they love, there are plenty of artists, musicians, actors, writers, etc. who will never make a living from those areas. Making money from the arts is difficult enough for most people, so I say fair play to anyone who manages it.

Anyway, if there were no English lecturers, nobody would study English, and that would be a real shame.

The Ivory Towers, they have spoken. The reason people don't know about some of these obscure research areas, is because they serve little use to most members of society. It's not through chance that the really important fundamentally earth shattering research generally comes from Industry, not Academia. This man has every right to indulge in English Lit. fair play. I don't think people should aquire Tenure because of it, though.

phasers

An expert on Bargain Hunt - they're always wrong!

KeithAFC

Éirígí General secretary.

Naikon

"Investment Banker" == "Professional Gambler"

landsleaving

mikemac wrote: »

Human Resources

The home of failed middle managers.
Key skills are listening and acting like you care about employees while shafting them to protect the company

The very fact that it's called human 'resources' tells you everything you need to know.

PR consultants.